That seems to be the typical US one-week cruise on a ship with 8000 other people.
We choose to cruise on smaller ships – ideally with fewer than 2000 passengers. The ports of call are the first consideration, followed by the quality and reputation of the ship.
I guess that European cruisers have more and better choices than you guys on t’other side of the pond.
Somewhat ironically, despite my aversion to crowds and socializing with strangers, I’ve been to quite a few all-inclusive beach resorts, most of them in Jamaica. With my best friend in our bachelor days, and with our wives later on.
We quite enjoyed them, but I was much younger then. Also, IIRC, we (the husbands, not the wives) were either drunk or stoned most of the time. 
I have a particularly fond memory of coming back from beach activities one gorgeous evening and the resort staff was preparing steaks on one of the longest outdoor grills I’d ever seen in my life and the aroma was incredible.
Another fond memory was my trip to Mars. I don’t think it was really Mars, but we were on a boat excursion and stopped off someplace where we were to be led on a hike through a picturesque forest. An enterprising Jamaican approached me and my friend and offered us some Jamaican ganja, which we bought. It turned out to be so awesomely potent that during the wilderness tour I was pretty sure I was on Mars.
I’m pretty sure you can’t do this sort of thing on cruise ships.
Exactly my thoughts. For me, there’s a time and place for staying a week in the same location and there’s a time and place for a selection of day trips instead.
I cruised Cunard last November, the Queen Elizabeth in the Caribbean. it was awesome.
but, as much as I liked the ship, it IS a cruise ship. they only have one ocean liner and it’s the Queen Mary 2.
I’ve never had the ganja nor a guided hike in a forest outside of the US, but I one of my brothers got married at a gardens that had a faux medieval folly on the grounds, some ways away from the reception area, but at twilight, I was drunk enough that I went to the folly completely by myself and pretended that I was in a medieval battle, running up and down the stone stairs and parapet, just pretending that I had a sword and defending myself from fake enemies.
I went on a ferry boat/Baltic cruise ship in 1991 but it was only for one day. It had a huge room with water slides, overnight rooms and a line of slot machines. The fare was really cheap as a group rate. Unfortunately several years later, someone left an outside door open and the ship sank in the Baltic. I’m embarrassed to say I can’t recall the name of the Swedish ferry boat as described.
I’d be interested in going on another cruise someday if the crew’s oriented to details. My dream doesn’t include going down with the ship.
Was it this one?
Thank you LSL Guy! That was the one. Luckily it hasn’t put me off taking local cruises to Mexico. With a good crew, craft and conditions, doing that can be really fun!
My parents used to take us on a cruise every couple of years. So I’ve been on many. I like them, but they’ve never been my first choice. I’ve never taken a cruise for my own family’s vacation.
This year is an exception. It’s our 20th wedding anniversary and we decided to take a cruise to Norway and Iceland.
That’s the best part of cruising: going to interesting places hard to reach by land. We’ve been through the Panama Canal, and we’ve seen Glacier Bay, Alaska.
For folks that like nature more than crowds, I recommend looking at Lindblad/National Geographic cruises.
They’re not cheap. I’ve gone on two, due to a connection with a staff member who received, as part of his compensation, tickets for an extra passenger. My cabin was belowdecks and right by the engine and with no window, but otherwise I had full run of the ship and all the activities.
The first one I went on was to Baja California in Mexico. The second was to Antarctica. Both were amazing, but the Antarctic trip was among the most incredible experiences of my life.
What sets them apart is the shore guides. Each day, except for during passage, there are 1-2 major expeditions. Some are in rafts, a few are self-guided with kayaks or what-not, but most are shore hikes. Often you have choices about where to go and how strenuous a hike you want. Whatever you choose, you’re accompanied by a naturalist, usually either a working scientist or a professor, who’ll lead the hike and tell you all about their areas of study.
So in Baja, I hiked with a Mexican botanist who showed us various cacti and described their role in the ecosystem. In Antarctica, a geologist showed us strange formations and described their history. In both locations, we learned about the human history of the area and how it intersected with the natural history.
During the evenings, after dinner, various scientists gave presentations. Wanna know more about cetaceans? About volcanic formations? About the aquatic ecosystems under ice floes? Go to the lectures!
It’s decidedly not everyone’s jam; but for me it was just delightful. If you can afford it and if it sounds at all appealing, I recommend looking into it as an alternative to party cruises.
(Closest it came to a party cruise was on the Mexican one, where on the last night I was hanging out in a common area, and a fitness influencer offered to flash the bartender if he’d make her a drink. “Please don’t,” he murmured, and poured her the drink.)
That’s putting it mildly. It seems like it would be over $30,000 for most of the itineraries!
I’m pretty well off, but that’s a bit rich for my blood.
That’s definitely putting it mildly. I would never have been able to go without the personal connection, and most of the people on the cruise were really wealthy. The only other working-class person I talked with was a secretary at a state university who had saved money for more than a decade to be able to afford the trip and was an avid birder who had always wanted to see Antarctic penguins in their natural habitat.
Edit: that said, I’m seeing much cheaper rates than $30,000:
https://www.expeditions.com/book
Antarctica tours start at a hair under $13,000, and Galapagos for less than $5,000. Not cheap, but cheaper than $30,000.
Those prices are per person. Most folks travel in couples. Lindblad’s meter runs right up. A price advantage is there are no add-on shore excursions sold separately, and negligble stuff that needs spending onboard. So pretty much the headline price is the bottom line price. Unlike the vast majorty of ordinary cruise lines.
I did a ~2-week Lindblad Antarctica w my GF 3 months ago in Feb. As you said, it was an adventure of a lifetime. True bucket list material.
We’re doing another ~2-week Lindblad in the Med in June. This’ll be much more about history than nature, but same idea of experts leading very small groups of passengers who all get to know each other quickly. And all of it done well off the beaten track far from tourist hangouts.
My Antarctica cruise on Hurtigruten was great and cheaper than that. I booked on a “no solo traveler supplement” sale, so it didn’t cost extra to travel alone. My lovely wife and I have caught some great sales via vacationstogo.com as well.
The only one that I would even consider would be a Linblad cruise/expedition. I have had those in the back of my mind for twenty years. The had one that was Galapagos and Machu Pichu.
I’ve been on 4 cruises. 3 of them were the Monsters of Rock cruise, where you have live bands playing damn near nonstop all day every day. That was a good time. The other one was not a themed cruise and it was pretty boring. I would only do that again. Relaxing with a drink poolside is fine, but I can do that at home too. But the themed cruises keep you busy—we went the last 3 years and are planning to go in 2027.
You and me both, particularly the Galapagos. I probably will never do it as I really can’t talk myself into blowing that much liquid cash on a 8-day trip at this stage of my life. Especially since if I were to do it, I probably wouldn’t want to skimp on the bare cheapest suite.
But it is the only option I find tempting and have since forever. However I also find ways to fantasize about the worse possibly outcomes. Especially those revolving around mobility like several days of unseasonably miserable weather restricting ground movement or turning an ankle badly on shore on day 1. Then spending most of the week in my cabin sulking about my bad luck 
.
The biggest downside for me was company: because I was the guest of a staff member who was working pretty much nonstop, I only saw him at mealtimes, and often not even then, so I was in effect traveling solo. My closest companions were a couple of teachers who were there on a scholarship; we got along well, but because they were both there on a specific fellowship and I wasn’t, they bonded with each other and I was kind of a third wheel. I spent most of my time either on shore doing amazing things, or writing an extensive blog for my students (which, when I got back, I found out the whole school was following). The social aspect of the trip was pretty lonely, and doing it with a partner would make it a lot more fun.
Still: mind-blowingly awesome. Bucket list material indeed, if you can swing it.
I can’t really talk about whether it’s worth it for the price, since it’s simply unattainable for me for the price. But the food was top-notch, and booze was included, and the only real things to pay for was a tiny gift shop and a massage therapist.
I have cruised alone, in a couple, and as a couple within a larger gaggle. The first of those is difficult. And that’s regardless of the cruise line. But a smaller ship with less bulk recreation would certainly lead to more free time with nobody to spend it with.
Fortunately the Dope is 24/7/365 if you have internet.
I forgot: at the time I went, seven years ago, Internet was very limited and super expensive. It was something like $25 an hour. I got a small amount of free Internet by virtue of the staff member’s connection, but used it almost entirely in tiny bursts to upload blog posts.