# So, who's the coolest band ever? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 12, 2002, 7:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whos-the-coolest-band-ever/118584 "2002-07-12T07:34:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![A\_wizard\_song\_for\_thee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/46a35a/32.png) [@A\_wizard\_song\_for\_thee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/A_wizard_song_for_thee)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 7:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whos-the-coolest-band-ever/118584/1 "2002-07-12T07:34:44Z")
And don’t answer with “If you have to ask…” All right, I’m not talking about the best band, necessarily, because that’s been asked many times and always results in a huge chorus of “The Beatles!” I’m not talking about which band is your _favorite_, because we sometimes like things for their sheer lack of cool. I’m talking about sheer coolness factor. It’s sort of hard to describe what I mean, because it’s difficult to characterize coolness in general, but humans seem to have a built-in coolness meter that automatically recognizes the coolness of, say, _The Simpsons_ and the uncoolness of old men in white khakis and black socks. It’s also difficult because coolness is such a fickle mistress to court. Ten years ago, slap bracelets were extremely cool, but now they’re completely uncool except in a possible retro-pastiche kind of way. So, what are we left with? I want to know which band is the coolest band that you’ve ever heard of. Of which you’ve ever heard. Whatever. Anyway, it can’t be based on popularity (there go the boy bands) or how many times the faces of the band have been on the cover of _Rolling Stone_ (Sorry, Limp Bizkit). My other requirement is that they must still be cool. I know that some band can achieve a peak in coolness and burn out and it is more important, in my estimation, to be permanently cool than it is to be briefly, extremely cool. With this requirement, I’m sorry to say, we can safely throw out The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, and the psychadelic bands of San Francisco. I’m sorry, but if your parents listened to it, it is no longer cool. Hmm, I just realized that the posters on this board have a wide variety of ages, so I’m going to revise that last statement. If the parents of the generation whose music is too loud-- That is, if the people who are complaining that modern music is too loud-- listened to it, it is no longer cool. So, well, I think I’ve defined the parameters well enough, so I’ll offer my nominees. **Joy Division** - Hmmm. I can see that this explanation thing is going to be difficult, because, as I said above, it’s hard to quantify coolness. Okay, well, Joy Division pretty much led the ultimate cool band lifestyle. They played their music with a completely different approach that would later be canonized. Even though they lived in an era where the alternative scene was all hopped up on punk agression and chutzpah, they played ethereal, gloomy music. And, in the _coup de grace_ of band coolness, the lead singer killed himself just as the band got big. Granted, the surviving members went on to form **New Order** , itself a monument to coolness, but Ian Curtis’s death ended Joy Division forever. **Tool** - I know I made all those comments about the longevity of cool, and Tool hasn’t been around that long, but the cool things they have done with the brief time they’ve spent as a band (Not all that brief. A check of allmusic says twelve years) have put them directly in the pantheon of cool bands. They never appear in their videos. They very rarely have photos taken of the band. Even in their stage shows, they downplay their individual personas in favor of a multimedia light show. In spite of this (or perhaps because of this), they have an extremely devoted following. These people are devoted enough that the lead singer disguises himself onstage so that he can go out in public without being recognized (to be fair, he also just likes to dress up). Add all this to the fact that they could rock your face off, and you have the makings of a cool band. However, when the gods write down the cool bands in the stars, the one that will be at the top of the list, I’ve no doubt, is **The Velvet Underground** - I don’t know if they’ve done anything that’s _not_ cool. They wore all black. They wore sunglasses onstage. They could play “Sister Ray,” “Sweet Jane,” and “Pale Blue Eyes” all in the same night. The owner of the club at which they played their first gig told them not to play “The Black Angel’s Death Song,” so guess what was the song that opened the second set? They hung with the Factory, played in Andy Warhol’s Exploding Plastic Inevitable, and released an album with songs about heroin, kinky sex, and waiting for your drug dealer in 1967, before _Sgt Pepper’s_ came out. They released four completely distinct (as in, different from one another and everything else out there) albums that were critically unimpeachable before imploding in a fallout of creative differences. “Creative differences” is one of the hallmarks of coolness. Now, as if all that’s not enough, The Velvets are still the coolest band on the planet! They’ve never been popular enough to become mainstream, but every kid who decides to wear black and tells everyone it’s not because he’s depressed, it’s because “it goes with everything!” owes every CD he owns to the Velvets. Did that sentence make sense? Anyway, the point is that they were cool in 1965, they’re cool now, and they will probably always be cool. ---
**Author:** ![Boo\_Boo\_Foo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@Boo\_Boo\_Foo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boo_Boo_Foo)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 10:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whos-the-coolest-band-ever/118584/2 "2002-07-12T10:23:46Z")
If only because of the quality of their goofy videos, mixed with some really top flight rock and roll, and some pretty bloody good musicianship, I reckon you could nominate Foo Fighters at the very least. Have you guys ever seen the “Learn to Fly” video? I tell ya, those guys get it. Some serious rock mixed with wicked humour. I love it! The Cure were pretty cool in their day too. So were The Police too I reckon. ---
**Author:** ![Lodrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c4cdca/32.png) [@Lodrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lodrain)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 11:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whos-the-coolest-band-ever/118584/3 "2002-07-12T11:24:33Z")
**Velvet Underground**. They were the epitome of cool. **Einstürzende Neubauten** are wildly cool. Their repitoire of instruments makes the mind boggle - they used metal plates, gravel, fire and string sections, all on the same album. They’ve written songs about the days of the week, the government, the May Day riots in Berlin and even salamanders. They’ve taken inspiration from overheard conversations, the lead singer calculating his age in days and even classical Latin poetry. A band that can squeeze so much talent and imbue so much meaning from so many diverse sources is cool beyond words. ---
**Author:** ![Harvey\_The\_Heavy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Harvey\_The\_Heavy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harvey_The_Heavy)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 11:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whos-the-coolest-band-ever/118584/4 "2002-07-12T11:40:56Z")
For the headbanger crowd, it has to be **Motorhead** , the purest metal band ever. Not one bad record since 1977. ---
**Author:** ![Edward\_The\_Head](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ce73a5/32.png) [@Edward\_The\_Head](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Edward_The_Head)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whos-the-coolest-band-ever/118584/5 "2002-07-12T13:18:41Z")
Harvey you read my mind, I was gonna say Motorhead. Lemmy has a biography coming out in the fall, now THAT should be intersting. ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whos-the-coolest-band-ever/118584/6 "2002-07-12T13:24:52Z")
I don’t know. I don’t really have a favorite band really. ::cough:: ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whos-the-coolest-band-ever/118584/7 "2002-07-12T13:34:18Z")
Heh, sure you don’t. 🙂 I don’t know, though. Define “cool”. Well, you did, but it’s different for everyone. I would agree on Tool being very cool. I guess Rush would qualify as not cool, as far as onstage presence and drug abuse go. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![elf6c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c57346/32.png) [@elf6c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elf6c)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whos-the-coolest-band-ever/118584/8 "2002-07-12T13:39:26Z")
Hmm, **cool**. 1. The kings of Rock and Roll: _The Rolling Stones_ - yeah they are geezers today, but back in the day. . . . 1. Cutting edge for many years: _David Bowie_ 1. Jazz: _any of the classic Miles Davis groups_ ---
**Author:** ![Fibonacci](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df788c/32.png) [@Fibonacci](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fibonacci)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whos-the-coolest-band-ever/118584/9 "2002-07-12T13:58:35Z")
Without a doubt, it’s [**The Residents**](http://www.residents.com). “The world’s most famous unknown band.” Over 30 years of intentional obscurity. Matt Groening wrote their first bio. Had their own record label, Ralph Records, whose slogan was “Buy or die!” Pioneers in music video, performance art, multimedia art, and just about every aspect of modern music making, all without ever showing their faces. 'Nuf said. End of discussion ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whos-the-coolest-band-ever/118584/10 "2002-07-12T14:09:15Z")
I’d have to go with [Frankie Trumbauer’s Orchestra](http://www.redhotjazz.com/fto.html), the Bix Beiderbecke years. Also [James Reese Europe](http://www.jass.com/Others/europe.html)’s band. Both were the quintessence of cool. ---
**Author:** ![Rib\_Eye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/53a042/32.png) [@Rib\_Eye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rib_Eye)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whos-the-coolest-band-ever/118584/11 "2002-07-12T15:02:43Z")
Soundgarden. Aside from the quality of their music they get huge and major props for breaking up before they ever had a chance to suck. And take a listen to each of their albums in order of release date. It’s eerie just how much progression was made from record to record: each one was vastly better than the previous one. I will say that I too like the idea of Tool in this category. Tool is ninth circle of hell/arctic tundra/moons of Pluto cool. ---
**Author:** ![tetsusaru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f14d63/32.png) [@tetsusaru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tetsusaru)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whos-the-coolest-band-ever/118584/12 "2002-07-12T15:32:48Z")
The Clash. Do you have to ask? ---
**Author:** ![Odieman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a87d85/32.png) [@Odieman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odieman)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whos-the-coolest-band-ever/118584/13 "2002-07-12T16:15:06Z")
I will agree with the **Velvet Underground** , you don’t even have to listen to their music to know that, just look at a picture of them and they still look cool. ---
**Author:** ![TridCloudwalker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/779978/32.png) [@TridCloudwalker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TridCloudwalker)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whos-the-coolest-band-ever/118584/14 "2002-07-12T16:15:51Z")
**THE VELVET UNDERGROUND!!** Totally. The **Doors** being a very close second and tied with Hendrix. ---
**Author:** ![gex\_gex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/94ad74/32.png) [@gex\_gex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gex_gex)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whos-the-coolest-band-ever/118584/15 "2002-07-12T16:34:45Z")
i’ll second the velvet underground. very, very cool, and unlike their contemporaries, are still very much in vogue today. i think the secret to finding the kings of cool would be to look for the argument against. if there is none, or a very weak one, then the band is a contender. for instance: dude, **vanilla ice** - coolest artist ever! well, sure, he was a white rapper before it became popular, but he also loses major coolness points for being a _bad_ rapper, and well, let’s face it, he was generally lame. a slightly more contentious contender for the cool tag would be the nominated **the police**. sure sting was a musician thought of very highly, and police songs even make soundtracks for retro eighties movies, there are too many counter arguments that cannot be ignored. for instance, stings dismal recent career, the bands place on adult-orientated rock radio and the fact that, let’s face it, they basically played water-down ska. many people think it was good watered-down ska, but the police were a bit too smooth for the tag of ‘cool’. (sorry to pick on your nomination **boo boo foo** , but i needed an example. anyway, back to the **velvets**. who kicked off the whole punk movement ten years before it began? lou reed and co. who is probably single handedly responsible for **the strokes**? velvet underground! hard to ignore the evidence here. and unlike the beatles (_when i’m 64_, _hey jude_ - please, these are nice pop songs, not unassailable cool) and the rolling stones (steel wheelchairs, anyone? prancing around in leather at mick jaggers age just ain’t cool), they’ve aged well. moving on, we find kings of funk, **sly and the family stone**. playing one of the coolest forms of music ever, sly was cool then, and thanks to modern day hip-hop artists sampling his work, remains cool now. sly is the man. there was a huge influx of cool in the second half of the seventies. **the ramones** , **the clash** , **bob marley** and **joy division** , and possibly **elvis costello** (for remaining the king of anti-cool for so many years) were all cool. the ramones had that in-your-face quality of the sex pistols without seeming to try too hard. the clash pulled off politics and carribean influences almost flawlessly, despite the trouble later bands like u2 (for the first) and uh… ub40 (for the second) had with including such elements into their respective concoctions of cool. the eighties, being such a similtaneously cool and uncool decade are problematic. were **the cure** cool or did they have too strong a connection with goth music and wear too much make-up? then again, is make-up cool? were **the smiths** cool or were they just whiny brits? while the two certainly have potential, **fugazi** and **the pixies** have coolness nailed. fugazi are so defiantly anti-mainstream that they cannot help but be cool, not to mention years of wonderful music, while **the pixies** are such a huge influence on modern music that they too cannot be passed over. the nineties were had no lack of cool themselves. kicked off with possibly one of the coolest guys ever, **nirvana**. everything these guys did was cool, as much as they tried not to be. they admitted their beatles influences. cool. they wore wildly unfashinable clothes and made simple music when everyone else was wanking over axl rose and his tight pants. cool. they had a huge hit album and followed it up with a defiantly unhit album that was brilliant anyway. cool. they dressed in drag and tongue kissed each other on stage. cool. they smashed up their instruments. cool. they ended with a tragic suicide. cool, (but awful). nirvana were the epitome of motherfucking cool. i’m going to throw out a few contentious figures here: 1. **red hot chili peppers**. in their favour, they’ve made great music, split-up and united a number of times, with a few deaths along the way, had drug problems and worn socks on their penises. on the downside, they’ve had quite a few less than perfect moments (one hot minute), seem a bit too fond of nookie and have worn socks on their penises. what do y’all think? 2. **snoop doggy dogg**. in his favour, he has **gin and juice** , **what’s my name** and the whole doggy style album. he is the epitome of the playa. then again, could it be that despite what dre and co think, the playa is just a little bit lame? not to mention the average quality of snoop’s later releases. hmm. beyond here, the nominees are a little murky. **outkast** , **the white stripes** and **the vines** (you’ll hear about them soon enough) all have brownie points in the coolness stakes. but is far too early to be judging these guys, i feel. let us step back, and develop there coolness before we make the decision. my list is neither comprehensive nor complete. i am already feeling bad for not mentioning de la soul, the beastie boys or pavement. but so it must be. take of it what you will. ---
**Author:** ![Billy\_Baroo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/76d3ee/32.png) [@Billy\_Baroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Billy_Baroo)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whos-the-coolest-band-ever/118584/16 "2002-07-12T18:52:52Z")
Don’t forget Johnny Cash and Parliament. ---
**Author:** ![Skewbald](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/49beb7/32.png) [@Skewbald](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skewbald)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whos-the-coolest-band-ever/118584/17 "2002-07-12T19:01:51Z")
**Fugazi** takes first place in my opinion. **Turbonegro** (Norway) takes second place. **Refused** (Sweden) takes third place. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whos-the-coolest-band-ever/118584/18 "2002-07-12T19:53:00Z")
Jesus . . . Do _any_ of you people know that “cool” existed before 1965, too? ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whos-the-coolest-band-ever/118584/19 "2002-07-12T20:10:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eve \* > \*\*Jesus . . . Do _any_ of you people know that “cool” existed before 1965, too? \*\* “Before 1965”? What’s that mean? 😛 I definitely have to agree with The Velvet Underground, The Clash, and David Bowie. As far as original nominations…what about all the boy bands/girl acts out there these days? They are the very essence of cool to the younger generation, even if most of us (myself included) think they suck hardcore. ---
**Author:** ![A\_wizard\_song\_for\_thee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/46a35a/32.png) [@A\_wizard\_song\_for\_thee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/A_wizard_song_for_thee)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whos-the-coolest-band-ever/118584/20 "2002-07-12T20:39:23Z")
Well, see, **Eve** , I do know that cool existed before '65, but it’s hard for me to thing of a band that is _still_ cool from pre-1965. If you can, I’d love to hear it, and, in fact, that’s why I asked the question. I’m ashamed that I didn’t think of **The Clash** , but I still say The Velvets were the paramount of coolness. See, I realize that coolness existed before them, but it seems to me that they invented a new kind of cool. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whos-the-coolest-band-ever/118584.md?page=2)