# So why are video game film adaptions uniformly crap? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 25, 2007, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-why-are-video-game-film-adaptions-uniformly-crap/427654 "2007-11-25T01:50:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![DigitalC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ebca7d/32.png) [@DigitalC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DigitalC)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2007, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-why-are-video-game-film-adaptions-uniformly-crap/427654/41 "2007-11-26T20:39:29Z")
[QUOTE=jayjay] I think it’s entirely possible to make an excellent _Warcraft_ (or _World of Warcraft_) movie. There’s enough backstory to make it work, and Warcraft III (and the upper levels of _WoW_), at least, already _feels_ like a cinematic experience. Whether the rumored production that’s supposedly currently being organized is going to _be_ an excellent _Warcraft_ movie is another story entirely, of course. [/QUOTE] Theres nothing rumored about it, it was officially announced over a year ago. ---
**Author:** ![Love\_Rhombus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/love_rhombus/32/10694_2.png) [@Love\_Rhombus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Love_Rhombus)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2007, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-why-are-video-game-film-adaptions-uniformly-crap/427654/42 "2007-11-26T21:29:23Z")
Hey, I thought DOA was brainlessly entertaining! ---
**Author:** ![Agent\_Foxtrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc29f/32.png) [@Agent\_Foxtrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agent_Foxtrot)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2007, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-why-are-video-game-film-adaptions-uniformly-crap/427654/43 "2007-11-26T21:33:52Z")
[QUOTE=dotchan] But who would be cast as Kefka? And would they use the game soundtrack? 😃 [/QUOTE] I think Willem Dafoe would be fantastic as Kefka. And they’d have to use the original soundtrack, but arranged and orchestrated, lest FFVI fans riot in the streets. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2007, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-why-are-video-game-film-adaptions-uniformly-crap/427654/44 "2007-11-26T21:34:15Z")
[QUOTE=DigitalC] Theres nothing rumored about it, it was officially announced over a year ago. [/QUOTE] :smack: I’m too busy playing to pay attention to the buzz… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Odesio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/odesio/32/20003_2.png) [@Odesio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odesio)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2007, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-why-are-video-game-film-adaptions-uniformly-crap/427654/45 "2007-11-26T23:19:27Z")
I think a big problem is that most video games have a fairly weak plot that’s simply designed to facilitate game play rather than stand alone as a genuine narrative. Before I get pounced on by the FF VII fans I’ll admit that I’m sure there are exceptions. I love Half-Life, Doom, Grand Theft Auto, Manhunt, Hot Shots Golf, etc., but most of them have pretty weak stories though they have good game play. I do like the idea for the Tetris movie. I also thought Mortal Kombat was a decent action movie. Marc ---
**Author:** ![Odesio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/odesio/32/20003_2.png) [@Odesio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odesio)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2007, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-why-are-video-game-film-adaptions-uniformly-crap/427654/46 "2007-11-26T23:34:25Z")
I think a big problem is that most video games have a fairly weak plot that’s simply designed to facilitate game play rather than stand alone as a genuine narrative. Before I get pounced on by the FF VII fans I’ll admit that I’m sure there are exceptions. I love Half-Life, Doom, Grand Theft Auto, Manhunt, Hot Shots Golf, etc., but most of them have pretty weak stories though they have good game play. I do like the idea for the Tetris movie. I also thought Mortal Kombat was a decent action movie. Marc ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2007, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-why-are-video-game-film-adaptions-uniformly-crap/427654/47 "2007-11-27T02:54:19Z")
[QUOTE=Agent Foxtrot] I think Willem Dafoe would be fantastic as Kefka. And they’d have to use the original soundtrack, but arranged and orchestrated, lest FFVI fans riot in the streets. 😃 [/QUOTE] Yeah, he’d be good. Or possibly Tim Curry, if he’s not too old. I don’t think we can count on FF fans rioting in the streets, not after FF:TSW. I mean, if THAT didn’t do it, what would? ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Some\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ad7895/32.png) [@Just\_Some\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Some_Guy)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2007, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-why-are-video-game-film-adaptions-uniformly-crap/427654/48 "2007-11-27T03:09:28Z")
[QUOTE=MGibson] I also thought Mortal Kombat was a decent action movie. [/QUOTE] Mortal Kombat was better the first time when it was called Enter the Dragon. ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2007, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-why-are-video-game-film-adaptions-uniformly-crap/427654/49 "2007-11-27T03:14:34Z")
How about [the Pac-Man movie](http://youtube.com/watch?v=fWL6j0SvqV0)? ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2007, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-why-are-video-game-film-adaptions-uniformly-crap/427654/50 "2007-11-27T04:03:06Z")
[hijack]Since we’re talking about the Hitman movie, the commercial for it bothers me - muscles in my chest start aching just listening to that sustained note that the female vocalist sings. I’m going to start diving for the remote if they keep playing the commercial at the frequency they’d been doing.[/hijack] ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2007, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-why-are-video-game-film-adaptions-uniformly-crap/427654/51 "2007-11-27T05:18:12Z")
I kinda liked the _Wing Commander_ adaptation, on the strength of various supporting performances like David Suchet’s. Well, I didn’t _hate_ it… ---
**Author:** ![smiling\_bandit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@smiling\_bandit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smiling_bandit)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2007, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-why-are-video-game-film-adaptions-uniformly-crap/427654/52 "2007-11-27T15:22:34Z")
[QUOTE=MGibson] I think a big problem is that most video games have a fairly weak plot that’s simply designed to facilitate game play rather than stand alone as a genuine narrative. Before I get pounced on by the FF VII fans I’ll admit that I’m sure there are exceptions. I love Half-Life, Doom, Grand Theft Auto, Manhunt, Hot Shots Golf, etc., but most of them have pretty weak stories though they have good game play./QUOTE] I’ve ben thinking about this. I don’t think it’s accurate. Consider, for a moment, a good action movie. How much plot does it _need_? The hero/es need to: 1. Discover that there is a bad thing happening. This often happens in the first five minutes. 2. Face terrible challenges in stopping it. 3. Discover whom the bad guy is, which also often happens in the first five minutes. 4. Stop the villain. Everything else is extra. It’s the adventure of following along as they battle through the minions and figure out how to stop the evil plan which is fun and exciting, and some movies here, like Half-Life and Doom, are almost plot enough in and of themselves. We don’t NEED to know too many details about the how or why the villains will take over earth. It might well be better NOT to know - scarier that way. If the hero is all alone in a Mars station, surrounded by terrors from Hell, and not very sure what to do, it can really bring home the _fear_. The sheer uncertainty. Then he can discover what to do, figure things out, and find a way to catch up to the villains and deliver the punishment. A game like Final Fantasy couldn’t be done easily. Final Fantasy 6 would take a whole _miniseries_ on its own. Something like Planescape: Torment? Would be incredible, but at the same time it would require a director with a lot of chops and talent to bring to life. You’d have to introduce the audience to a world they’ve never imagined, something which makes Narnia and Middle Earth look like the suburbs in comparison. And it could not be done in a two-hour movie. The only advantage is that some scenes have been written brilliantly already, and you could gloss over the specifics of ‘multiclassing’ as you show the Nameless One becoming more and more powerful in every battle. In fact, the biggest problem is not knowing which awesome ending to choose! pst spoiler: I love the one where the claims his true name, declaring that HE IS as well as fully understanding himself, uniting himself with his other self, nearly a deity in his own right. In another, he convinces his other self that their mutual life in unacceptable, that they are slowly dying anyway, and that reuniting will bring them both peace. His other self declares his eternal hatred for the Nameless One, and the N.O. replies that he will be happy then, because they will face trials and torments in the days to come. ---
**Author:** ![smiling\_bandit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@smiling\_bandit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smiling_bandit)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2007, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-why-are-video-game-film-adaptions-uniformly-crap/427654/53 "2007-11-27T15:30:33Z")
OK, my post sort of vanished. ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2007, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-why-are-video-game-film-adaptions-uniformly-crap/427654/54 "2007-11-27T17:36:25Z")
Wtf? ---
**Author:** ![smiling\_bandit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@smiling\_bandit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smiling_bandit)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2007, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-why-are-video-game-film-adaptions-uniformly-crap/427654/55 "2007-11-28T01:17:01Z")
I wrote a big long post, which appeared without any text. Here’s the gist of it: I think that good video game adaptations could be done. Let’s take a look at Doom. For those not in the know, this is a game about demons emerging from a gate to Hell found in outer space. In the games it took place in varying locations such as Io, Phobos, and Mars. It tapped into the Alien mythos of “in space no one can hear you scream,” etc by isolating the character without even the hope of aid. Now, the actual Doom movie canned this by adding a full squad of marines, numerous random scientist characters, a weird plot about an evil genetic code, and random mutant demon people. And it sucked. They lost the entire point of it: you weren’t just being attacked by big ugly monsters, but by freakish demonic agents of destruction hellbent on the obliteration or enshalvement of the entire human race if ever they were loosed upon earth. Space was a hostile, scary empty void filled with waiting terrors, fiends beyond the capacity of man to comprehend. And the movie totally botched it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-why-are-video-game-film-adaptions-uniformly-crap/427654.md?page=2)