# SO with a cold. Proper ettiquette? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 7, 2003, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-with-a-cold-proper-ettiquette/173650 "2003-05-07T13:41:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Bearflag70](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Bearflag70](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bearflag70)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-with-a-cold-proper-ettiquette/173650/1 "2003-05-07T13:41:43Z")
It seems that every gf I have ever had wants a big kiss when she gets a nasty cold. I really don’t want to kiss someone when she’s coughing, sniffling, groaning, etc. I don’t want to have to risk feeling like crap and taking another two weeks away from trying to get back into the gym for a 2 second kiss. “…but you have a cold.” “WHAT?!? You don’t want to kiss YOUR GIRLFRIEND?!?” I try to quarantine myself when I get a cold out of respect for others. What is one to do? ---
**Author:** ![Contrary](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/db5fbb/32.png) [@Contrary](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrary)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-with-a-cold-proper-ettiquette/173650/2 "2003-05-07T14:04:50Z")
Kiss her cheek. ---
**Author:** ![merge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9f8e36/32.png) [@merge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/merge)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-with-a-cold-proper-ettiquette/173650/3 "2003-05-07T14:12:19Z")
Grab your ankles… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Bearflag70](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Bearflag70](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bearflag70)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-with-a-cold-proper-ettiquette/173650/4 "2003-05-07T14:19:28Z")
The cheek kiss never works… ---
**Author:** ![Contrary](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/db5fbb/32.png) [@Contrary](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrary)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-with-a-cold-proper-ettiquette/173650/5 "2003-05-07T14:27:10Z")
Rub her back. Now _that_ always works. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-with-a-cold-proper-ettiquette/173650/6 "2003-05-07T18:19:42Z")
Kiss the top of her head. And pat her butt. ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-with-a-cold-proper-ettiquette/173650/7 "2003-05-07T18:50:40Z")
Well, if your at all close, you’ve allready been fully exposed to her cold virus, so you just have to deal with the ick factor. Maybe only agree to the kiss if you can rub Vic onto her chest later? ---
**Author:** ![Gorgon\_Heap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f475e1/32.png) [@Gorgon\_Heap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorgon_Heap)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-with-a-cold-proper-ettiquette/173650/8 "2003-05-07T19:13:30Z")
Shriek, toss her out the front door and let her watch through the window as you run around the house with a can of Lysol. ---
**Author:** ![Bearflag70](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Bearflag70](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bearflag70)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-with-a-cold-proper-ettiquette/173650/9 "2003-05-07T19:16:43Z")
Don’t people usually take measures to avoid getting their SO’s colds, or is it just me? ---
**Author:** ![DeadlyAccurate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ac91a4/32.png) [@DeadlyAccurate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeadlyAccurate)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-with-a-cold-proper-ettiquette/173650/10 "2003-05-07T19:20:13Z")
Yes, I do, **Bearflag70**. Fortunately, my husband doesn’t expect a kiss when he’s sick. I’m kinda liking **Gorgon Heap’s** idea. ---
**Author:** ![Bearflag70](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Bearflag70](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bearflag70)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-with-a-cold-proper-ettiquette/173650/11 "2003-05-07T19:29:32Z")
I could spray Lysol in her face, i suppose. ---
**Author:** ![Misery\_Loves\_Co](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7cd45c/32.png) [@Misery\_Loves\_Co](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misery_Loves_Co)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-with-a-cold-proper-ettiquette/173650/12 "2003-05-07T20:14:11Z")
Eh - given inccubation periods and the like, by the time she’s symptomatic I’ve already caught the bug, so another kiss ain’t gonna do any more damage. I /do/ start drinking lots of fluids, upping my vitamic c, etc etc though - I can’t prevent getting it but I can get a head-start on symptom management. ---
**Author:** ![porcupine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ac91a4/32.png) [@porcupine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/porcupine)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-with-a-cold-proper-ettiquette/173650/13 "2003-05-07T22:08:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bippy the Beardless \* > \*\*Maybe only agree to the kiss if you can rub Vic onto her chest later? \*\* Who is Vic and what does he look like? 😉 The SO lives 4 1/2 hours away, so we only see each other on weekends. We haven’t had to deal with too many horrid colds, so be pretty much ignore them. When we’re living closer, I agree that by the time you’re symptomatic, you’re probably already exposed to the virus, so unless it’s really icky, we’ll just ignore it. If I’m really sick, I don’t want anyonre kissing me anyway. A nice footrub, OTOH, would be wonderful. ---
**Author:** ![chula](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a4c791/32.png) [@chula](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chula)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-with-a-cold-proper-ettiquette/173650/14 "2003-05-07T22:28:19Z")
There was an extensive article in the NYT magazine months ago that talked about what is known about how colds are spread. Studies show that you are less likely to get a cold by swapping spit than by sitting in a room with someone who has a cold. Don’t know why that is, but it’s a fact. So stop treating her like she’s got the plague. ---
**Author:** ![delphica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9a140/32.png) [@delphica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/delphica)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-with-a-cold-proper-ettiquette/173650/15 "2003-05-07T22:37:16Z")
But wait, if you’re kissing the cold-infested person, aren’t you already in the same room? This is making my head hurt (maybe i’m coming down with something). I agree with **porcupine** , I don’t like being kissed anyway when I have a cold. Go for the foot massage or back rub! ---
**Author:** ![X\_Slayer\_ALE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/bbe5ce/32.png) [@X\_Slayer\_ALE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/X_Slayer_ALE)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-with-a-cold-proper-ettiquette/173650/16 "2003-05-08T01:14:37Z")
Do what she does when you have a cold. If you’ve never had a cold with your girlfriend. Give her a long and deeeep tonsil massage and if you get sick, ask her to return the favor. then act exactly the way she did. I’d video tape it for evidence tho. ---
**Author:** ![Pixelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ad7895/32.png) [@Pixelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixelle)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 6:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-with-a-cold-proper-ettiquette/173650/17 "2003-05-08T06:48:06Z")
The common cold is spread via nasal droplets in the air. So just being with her in the same room puts you at risk. If your immune system is good though, there’s every chance you wont get her cold. So give her a big kiss you meanie!!..just don’t breathe in through your nose as you do it 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Essured](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Essured](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Essured)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 10:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-with-a-cold-proper-ettiquette/173650/18 "2003-05-08T10:28:11Z")
We don’t change any of our behaviour if one of us is sick (apart from looking after the other one). It is very rare that one of us will ‘give’ the other our sickness. I think in six years of living together we’ve possibly ‘shared’ the same illness once, or twice at the most. We hug, kiss, share bodily fluids, etc and the healthy one stays healthy. YSicknessMV 🙂 As far as proper ettiquette goes, I don’t think Miss Manners addressed this one, so how about discussing the matter with your girlfriend and arriving at a compromise or at least an understanding of each other’s views ?