# So Yeah, I'm Retarded. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 12, 2008, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-yeah-im-retarded/437366 "2008-02-12T23:24:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2008, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-yeah-im-retarded/437366/1 "2008-02-12T23:24:51Z")
I haven’t been feeling very recently (okay, just yesterday) and I feel better, but it’s like my eyes are a little sensitive to light and I’ve got this runny nose and this stupid cough, but I still want to go out and romp and play. Anywhoot, in this delusional state, I searched the office for a bathroom, for I had to crap. I was about to go into the bathroom closest to me, but I gambled and assumed that it was full, then opting to go for the farther ones away, but they’re solitary so I can sing and dance while I’m beaming down a Shatner. Well, the farthest one was taken, so I started coming around the other way. I stepped into the bathroom and something hit me. “Well, for some reason I don’t think I’ve been here. I know I’ve been in this bathroom, but it’s like…the Bizarro version…OH MY GOD, I’M IN THE WOMENS’ BATHROOM!” I scramble out. Nobody saw me. Sweet. I take a quick look around at people working. They’re all busy doing work, so they didn’t see me either. Score. So, you guys have any mental hiccups today? ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2008, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-yeah-im-retarded/437366/2 "2008-02-12T23:35:19Z")
Not today… But I did once walk into a women’s WC in Liverpool. I’d been walking all day, I then got to walking and walking _just to find a toilet_. And finally I found a place that was open. I was so releived to have found a WC that a normally perfectly trustworthy and reliable instinct to pick the right WC (borne of childhood insecurity about my effeminateness) had simply been caught sleeping. As I walked in, I passed a young girl walking out, and realized my mistake. Red faced I walked out, small turn, into male WC. Edit: The realization wasn’t even all that instant. I saw the girl, thought Brain: “Huh… girl… That seems odd but I’m not sure why” \ Brain: “It’s because this is a girls toilet you spaz” Can’t think of anything from today though. ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2008, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-yeah-im-retarded/437366/3 "2008-02-12T23:44:30Z")
I think I had a camera around my neck at the time, as well. :smack: [sub]No I’m not that stupid. I almost certainly would have put the camera away if going to the toilet.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2008, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-yeah-im-retarded/437366/4 "2008-02-12T23:45:53Z")
Feel better, **LOUNE**. I think we all have those moments. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2008, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-yeah-im-retarded/437366/5 "2008-02-12T23:47:59Z")
I did that at Wrigley Field last summer, which if you’ve been there you know is no small feat of retardedness. Of course, just being at a cubby game lowers your IQ by 75-80 points, so I have that going for me, excuse-wise. ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2008, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-yeah-im-retarded/437366/6 "2008-02-13T00:16:44Z")
[QUOTE=olivesmarch4th] Feel better, **LOUNE**. I think we all have those moments. 😉 [/QUOTE] I blame it on my weakened state. Obviously they’ve pumped Kryptonite into my breathing air at work. ---
**Author:** ![sinjin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ebca7d/32.png) [@sinjin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sinjin)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2008, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-yeah-im-retarded/437366/7 "2008-02-13T00:26:59Z")
The worst is walking and chatting with your boss and following him into the men’s room. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Oslo\_Ostragoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a9a28c/32.png) [@Oslo\_Ostragoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oslo_Ostragoth)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2008, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-yeah-im-retarded/437366/8 "2008-02-13T05:54:39Z")
Ah hell. You haven’t lived until you have experienced the long, slow, inevitable slide into senility firsthand. I have managed to create several seriously addlepated posts into threads just this week. And I love the SDMB. If I’m too embarrassed to post here, what can I do? ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Anastasaeon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Anastasaeon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anastasaeon)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2008, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-yeah-im-retarded/437366/9 "2008-02-13T06:06:22Z")
[QUOTE=Least Original User Name Ever] I haven’t been feeling very recently (okay, just yesterday) and I feel better, [/QUOTE] You should try feeling more often. Keep practicing. I recommend feeling at least three times a day, to start. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Santo\_Rugger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Santo\_Rugger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Santo_Rugger)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2008, 7:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-yeah-im-retarded/437366/10 "2008-02-13T07:05:23Z")
I have an even worse story, if it makes you feel any better? So I was in San Diego this weekend, and on the drive back, somewhere in eastern Arizona, I got this horrible feeling in the pit of my tummy. I told my buddy he was going to have to pull over as soon as possible, because I had a serious gut grenade brewing. “Should I pull over at this one?” He asked as we were about to pass one of the most ironic highway signs ever\*. “No, it’s alright, I can make it to one where there’s a gas station or something”. Long story short, I had to leave my pants in the garbage can of the restroom, and call my buddy to bring in another pair of pants from my suitcase and buy me some baby wipes. I spent about twenty minutes in there. Aren’t you glad all you did was walk partway into the wrong restroom? 😛 \*The sign is an exit for “Goodwater”, and directly below it is another sign that says, “No Services”. ---
**Author:** ![bbs2k](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e495f1/32.png) [@bbs2k](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bbs2k)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2008, 7:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-yeah-im-retarded/437366/11 "2008-02-13T07:26:28Z")
In which I [provide evidence](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=444548) to the judge and jury of the SDMB, as to why I am the most retardedest one here. Seriously, I break into giggles everytime I go back and read that one. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2008, 8:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-yeah-im-retarded/437366/12 "2008-02-13T08:09:00Z")
[QUOTE=Lobsang] Brain: “Huh… girl… That seems odd but I’m not sure why” [/QUOTE] Stockholm central bus terminal. Six in the morning. Me just off a bus after eight-hour ride from neighboring country. _Unisex bathrooms._ Fuck, I was confused. Swedes… bunch of whackos. ---
**Author:** ![BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2008, 9:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-yeah-im-retarded/437366/13 "2008-02-13T09:26:10Z")
I wandered into the women’s bathroom at a ski area-- one I had been to before, so I should have known. It had a small locker room immediately inside, so I actually had to walk several meters inside before i got to the toilets. I’m standing there, thinking “Y’know, I coulda sworn there were urinals around here somewhere before.” And then I realized that all the walls were pink and beat a hasty retreat. Fortunately, it was toward the end of the evening and no one was really around. The other thing I did recently was almost follow my friend into the women’s section of a public bathhouse (no, not a coed one). The woman on duty said something to me, and then I realized that there were two doors. Either I’m getting really smart in my old age, or my subconscious is trying to get me to do something. Thing is, its probably stupid too, and is just going to get me arrested. ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Tonya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/4491bb/32.png) [@Queen\_Tonya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Tonya)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2008, 10:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-yeah-im-retarded/437366/14 "2008-02-13T10:25:50Z")
In the plant I work at there are 3 sets of restrooms, exactly identical. Oh, except for the fact that in two of them it’s girls on the left and boys on the right and some brilliant person switched the order of the third one. I usually don’t even notice until I’m actually in and see a guy’s back. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![rikc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c57346/32.png) [@rikc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rikc)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2008, 11:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-yeah-im-retarded/437366/15 "2008-02-13T11:27:17Z")
We’ve all made that mistake. I like that “the bizarro version” of a restroom might mean “no urinals.” edit: but feel better! Get back to romping and playing! ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2008, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-yeah-im-retarded/437366/16 "2008-02-13T13:57:00Z")
I was at school one day and reeeealy had to pee. I go to the nearest bathroom…hmmm when did they put a couch in the bathroom??? Hmmm when did they put a tampo…errr oops, let’s just leave now. ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2008, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-yeah-im-retarded/437366/17 "2008-02-13T16:34:33Z")
[QUOTE=Anastasaeon] You should try feeling more often. Keep practicing. I recommend feeling at least three times a day, to start. 😛 [/QUOTE] Stop picking on the infirmed. I’m feeling much better today. I’m definitely not quite dead yet. I haven’t eaten in two days, so I’m ready to eat the world. ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2008, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-yeah-im-retarded/437366/18 "2008-02-13T16:36:33Z")
[QUOTE=Joey P] I was at school one day and reeeealy had to pee. I go to the nearest bathroom…hmmm when did they put a couch in the bathroom??? Hmmm when did they put a tampo…errr oops, let’s just leave now. [/QUOTE] Wait, they get couches in their bathrooms? Is that what they get instead of urinals? I think I want a recount! ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2008, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-yeah-im-retarded/437366/19 "2008-02-13T18:27:27Z")
[QUOTE=Least Original User Name Ever] Wait, they get couches in their bathrooms? Is that what they get instead of urinals? I think I want a recount! [/QUOTE] Hey, you can have couches in your restrooms as soon as you get lines for the restroom long enough that you actually _need to rest_ by the time you get in there! 😛 Feel better quickly, and speaking from experience, when you feel ready to open the refrigerator and _inhale_, that’s the right time to start out on dry toast or saltines! ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2008, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-yeah-im-retarded/437366/20 "2008-02-13T18:38:00Z")
[QUOTE=Least Original User Name Ever] …so I can sing and dance while I’m beaming down a Shatner. [/QUOTE] I just had to come in and say, I LOVE THIS EUPHEMISM! It reminded me of the Comedy Central roast of William Shatner in which Patton Oswalt said, “The name Shatner is Yiddish. It means ‘the past tense of Shitner.’” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-yeah-im-retarded/437366.md?page=2)