# So. You got cancer in your balls. And this entitled you to.... **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 22, 2012, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-got-cancer-in-your-balls-and-this-entitled-you-to/638521 "2012-10-22T13:51:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2012, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-got-cancer-in-your-balls-and-this-entitled-you-to/638521/1 "2012-10-22T13:51:03Z")
… build such a titanic and layered lie that millions of innocents were sucked into. People believed, people worked hard, donated, supported. You useless fucking whore. You went and turned a cleverly hidden doping technique into your own private fantasy. Your pathology is pathetic. Your only cause, your great agenda was and is the attention whoring of you. You puffed up self-aggrandized loathesome sad shit. How many will suffer because of the withdrawing of support in anger due to your actions? You want to be the standard-bearer, then by Og you’d better have some standards. You have none. Many have doped, few have done damage on such a scale as yourself. You remind me of those grotesquely ripped muscle-bound weightlifters. Immense and horrific with veins bulging and physiques amplified to feral degrees, the steroids that produced such musculature also shrunk the testicles to tiny hardened raisins. Apparently your cancer was a cancer on so many levels. You suffer a moral decay. You leveraged a disease to spread dis-ease amongst innocents. Amongst those who felt pain and loss and sadness and despair because of cancer in their own bodies or in their lives. You were delighted to spread your stain, to envelop the pained, the lost, the bereft, the sad. Shame on you Lance Armstrong. You are no gentleman. You are not gentle. And you are no man. You are some sad and curious destructive force. If there is any justice on the planet, you will be seen in a few years wandering the streets. Filthy, scrawny, disease-ridden and utterly in posession of your faculties. Aware to the end of the arc of your life. Witnessing daily the wrath of those who were fool enough to place their faith in your words and in the carefully constructed lies you promulgated. Suffer long and with agonizing awareness. ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2012, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-got-cancer-in-your-balls-and-this-entitled-you-to/638521/2 "2012-10-22T13:54:43Z")
Dude. He used performance-enhancing drugs. He didn’t rape babies. Dial it down a few notches. Also, I am somewhat confused about how a charitable organization responsible for collecting millions of dollars for cancer research now constitutes “spreading disease among innocents” and a “destructive force” just because the guy who founded it got caught cheating at bike racing, which by the way from what I understand about the sport, is pretty much ubiquitous. Not feeling the outrage. ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2012, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-got-cancer-in-your-balls-and-this-entitled-you-to/638521/3 "2012-10-22T14:05:06Z")
That’s okay. I am. He suckered people on a massive scale. I can see Jim and Tammy Faye Baker coming a mile off. This guy? He was much more clever. Asshole. ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2012, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-got-cancer-in-your-balls-and-this-entitled-you-to/638521/4 "2012-10-22T14:07:21Z")
How were people suckered? Did the money they gave not to go the purpose it was supposed to go to? Was it spent on hookers and blow instead of spent on cancer research? The way you are talking makes it sound like Lance Armstrong personally took all of the donated money and used it to build himself a personal island off the Caribbean somewhere. He used drugs. He got caught. This has nothing to do with any of the money anyone donated to his cancer-fighting organization. The money was not taken under false pretenses and it was used for exactly what the donors were told it would be used for. If anyone is now upset that they donated money to fund cancer research because Lance Armstrong used drugs, I would suggest that they re-evaluate their priorities. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2012, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-got-cancer-in-your-balls-and-this-entitled-you-to/638521/5 "2012-10-22T14:08:09Z")
> [@Cartooniverse](#): > > I can see Jim and Tammy Faye Baker coming a mile off. You owe me one container of brain bleach. ---
**Author:** ![kevja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/aeb1de/32.png) [@kevja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kevja)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2012, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-got-cancer-in-your-balls-and-this-entitled-you-to/638521/6 "2012-10-22T14:13:10Z")
How? How could this happen, how could you humiliate me this way? ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2012, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-got-cancer-in-your-balls-and-this-entitled-you-to/638521/7 "2012-10-22T14:15:22Z")
He’s a major league asshole. It was apparent without any information about doping. I’m surprised that anybody was surprised by the recent revelations. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2012, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-got-cancer-in-your-balls-and-this-entitled-you-to/638521/8 "2012-10-22T14:15:35Z")
**Cartooniverse** Pit threads: recreational outrage on _steroids_! ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2012, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-got-cancer-in-your-balls-and-this-entitled-you-to/638521/9 "2012-10-22T14:24:23Z")
The mystery to me, here, is how anybody can get this worked up over bicycle racing. Dope, don’t dope…cheat, don’t cheat…who cares? Professional sports in general are such a crashing bore that, if not for the personal scandals of the players, they’d be utterly devoid of interest. Further, as personal scandals go, getting caught using performance enhancers is so plebian, so dirt common, that it should fail to raise an eyebrow anywhere in the world. ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2012, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-got-cancer-in-your-balls-and-this-entitled-you-to/638521/10 "2012-10-22T14:26:50Z")
Why don’t they just allow doping, already. And award the first place doper. Problem solved. ---
**Author:** ![Yorikke](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yorikke/32/4335_2.png) [@Yorikke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yorikke)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2012, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-got-cancer-in-your-balls-and-this-entitled-you-to/638521/11 "2012-10-22T14:29:39Z")
> [@kevja](#): > > How? How could this happen, how could you humiliate me this way? Won’t somebody PLEASE think of the children!?!?!? ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2012, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-got-cancer-in-your-balls-and-this-entitled-you-to/638521/12 "2012-10-22T14:30:52Z")
> [@Nzinga\_Seated](#): > > Why don’t they just allow doping, already. And award the first place doper. Problem solved. Maybe some people would like to compete at even the highest level without being forced to use drugs when little is known of the long term effects. ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2012, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-got-cancer-in-your-balls-and-this-entitled-you-to/638521/13 "2012-10-22T14:44:49Z")
> [@runner pat](#): > > Maybe some people would like to compete at even the highest level without being forced to use drugs when little is known of the long term effects. Then they are going to have to do what women with natural breasts do…start their own little side thing. Because just like all porn stars and Playboy models have fake tits, all the bikers are doping. ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2012, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-got-cancer-in-your-balls-and-this-entitled-you-to/638521/14 "2012-10-22T14:49:21Z")
I’m not saying that there’s an obvious choice for first-place doper. I’m just saying that if nominated, I would not run, because I am far too humble for that. ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2012, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-got-cancer-in-your-balls-and-this-entitled-you-to/638521/15 "2012-10-22T14:51:32Z")
> [@MsWhatsit](#): > > I’m not saying that there’s an obvious choice for first-place doper. I’m just saying that if nominated, I would not run, because I am far too humble for that. Gallup already has you 7 points down. ---
**Author:** ![Dogzilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@Dogzilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogzilla)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2012, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-got-cancer-in-your-balls-and-this-entitled-you-to/638521/16 "2012-10-22T14:53:23Z")
All this certainly makes me view his scene in Dodgeball in a completely different light. It’s about 10,000 times funnier now. ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2012, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-got-cancer-in-your-balls-and-this-entitled-you-to/638521/17 "2012-10-22T14:54:59Z")
Stop idolizing athletes. Just don’t do it. Stop it. It’s a bad idea. They are not “role models”. They are not “heros”. They are not “someone to be looked up to”. Follow this advice and you’ll never be disappointed when they fall from grace. ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2012, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-got-cancer-in-your-balls-and-this-entitled-you-to/638521/18 "2012-10-22T15:20:30Z")
> [@Hampshire](#): > > Stop idolizing athletes. Just don’t do it. Stop it. It’s a bad idea. They are not “role models”. They are not “heros”. They are not “someone to be looked up to”. > Follow this advice and you’ll never be disappointed when they fall from grace. This is a good idea. From now on I shall idolize rappers. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2012, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-got-cancer-in-your-balls-and-this-entitled-you-to/638521/19 "2012-10-22T15:40:41Z")
Me, I’ll be over in that little side thing **Nzinga** mentioned, idolizing women with natural breasts. (Specifically, it’s a bunk, right?) ---
**Author:** ![you\_with\_the\_face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ecccb3/32.png) [@you\_with\_the\_face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/you_with_the_face)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2012, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-got-cancer-in-your-balls-and-this-entitled-you-to/638521/20 "2012-10-22T15:43:49Z")
Amen, **Hampshire**. Our obsession with sports and those who play them is part of the problem. Armstrong no doubt deserves all the scorn he’s getting, but when you think about it objectively, it’s weird that he was even held in such high esteem in the first place. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-got-cancer-in-your-balls-and-this-entitled-you-to/638521.md?page=2)