# So. You got cancer in your balls. And this entitled you to.... **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 22, 2012, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-got-cancer-in-your-balls-and-this-entitled-you-to/638521 "2012-10-22T13:51:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2012, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-got-cancer-in-your-balls-and-this-entitled-you-to/638521/41 "2012-10-22T17:03:01Z")
> [@Cartooniverse](#): > > Heck, I know where you can find binders full of idolizeable women with natural breasts !! C’mon, admit it. You started this thread hoping someone would post something, anything you could seque into that line, right? If not, then another idol bites the…er, sorry. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2012, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-got-cancer-in-your-balls-and-this-entitled-you-to/638521/42 "2012-10-22T17:03:17Z")
> [@Nzinga\_Seated](#): > > Sigh. So you already knew the context and the backstory, but you just want to discuss it further. Why not just say that instead of blinking all wide-eyed like, “Higuys! What’s all this about doping, then?” As of four minutes ago, it was still “this morning” where I live, Mr. Unfounded Assumptions. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2012, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-got-cancer-in-your-balls-and-this-entitled-you-to/638521/43 "2012-10-22T17:11:40Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > Is everyone but teachers aned firefighters useless in your world? The real outrage here should be against all of the clean teachers and firefighters. Just imagine how well a teacher could teach or a firefighter save people if they were only willing to dope a bit. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2012, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-got-cancer-in-your-balls-and-this-entitled-you-to/638521/44 "2012-10-22T17:14:14Z")
> [@Scumpup](#): > > There’re varying degrees of useful. Professional athletes are entertainers; so they do serve a purpose by providing diversion for those who enjoy the sport. Are they vital to a thriving society? I don’t think so. No more, anyway, than clowns, mimes, and accordian players. And yet the greatest sportsmen have (at least for the last century) been accorded status among the highest achievers in other areas - and it’s not just an American thing. Roger Bannister, Jesse Owens, Jackie Robinson, Steffi Graf, Pele, Michael Jordan, Donald Bradman, Carl Lewis, Tiger Woods, Jack Nicklaus, Roger Federer, Jim Brown, Bobby Charlton, Roger Milla, Michel Platini, Ferenc Puskas, Jonah Lomu, David Campese, Usain Bolt, Michael Phelps, Muhammad Ali, Babe Ruth, Diego Maradona… these are all people who could call the heads of state of their country and do lunch more or less whenever they felt like it. Hell, most of them could meet with _any_ head of state when they felt like it. Their names are as recognizable as any king, president or prime minister. They get more column inches in popular media than any politician. [QUOTE=Ogre] As of four minutes ago, it was still “this morning” where I live, Mr. Unfounded Assumptions. [/QUOTE] She’s a girl, Mr. Unfo… oh, never mind. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2012, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-got-cancer-in-your-balls-and-this-entitled-you-to/638521/45 "2012-10-22T17:18:34Z")
_You got cancer in your balls Biking’s broken out in fights Your Tour de France achievements have been canceled out of spite Livestrong’s shown you to the door You’ve been banned for evermore Lance Armstrong - man, where are you?_ (with apologies to Gunther Toody) ---
**Author:** ![Terr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/839c29/32.png) [@Terr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terr)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2012, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-got-cancer-in-your-balls-and-this-entitled-you-to/638521/46 "2012-10-22T17:21:02Z")
> [@Nzinga\_Seated](#): > > I understand the worship. If he hadn’t doped, then winning 7 times in a row would have meant a supreme dedication to hard work and strong will. That’s something folks look up to. Since everyone doped, the playing fiend was, in fact, even. Thus his winning 7 times in a row did mean supreme dedication to hard work and strong will. ---
**Author:** ![etv78](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d78d45/32.png) [@etv78](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/etv78)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2012, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-got-cancer-in-your-balls-and-this-entitled-you-to/638521/47 "2012-10-22T17:22:04Z")
> [@Nzinga\_Seated](#): > > Then they are going to have to do what women with natural breasts do…start their own little side thing. Because just like all porn stars and Playboy models have fake tits, all the bikers are doping. It’s called _Perfect 10_ magazine. ---
**Author:** ![Labrador\_Deceiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Labrador\_Deceiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labrador_Deceiver)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2012, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-got-cancer-in-your-balls-and-this-entitled-you-to/638521/48 "2012-10-22T17:22:13Z")
Sorry, I misread the post. ---
**Author:** ![Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Living_Well_Is_Best_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2012, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-got-cancer-in-your-balls-and-this-entitled-you-to/638521/49 "2012-10-22T17:27:23Z")
Well the charity still did a lot of good right? ---
**Author:** ![happycamper\_5](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/cab0a1/32.png) [@happycamper\_5](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/happycamper_5)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2012, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-got-cancer-in-your-balls-and-this-entitled-you-to/638521/50 "2012-10-22T17:27:44Z")
Let me say first that, beyond morbid curiosity, I couldn’t give two shits about Lance Armstrong or the sport of cycling in general. However, this myth right here: > [@MsWhatsit](#): > > how a charitable organization responsible for collecting **millions of dollars for cancer research** > [@MsWhatsit](#): > > Was it spent on hookers and blow instead of **spent on cancer research?** > [@Eliahna](#): > > **Raised over $470 million dollars for cancer research.** > [@Ibn\_Warraq](#): > > the OP seems to be saying that if he’d doped but NOT **raised money for cancer research** , that would have been better. > [@MsWhatsit](#): > > I wish he’d done something like start **a cancer foundation that raised $470 million for cancer research.** That would have been useful. needs to die. According to [Bill Gifford at Outdoor Magazine](http://www.outsideonline.com/outdoor-adventure/athletes/lance-armstrong/Its-Not-About-the-Lab-Rats.html?page=all): > [@](#): > > Most people—including nearly everybody I surveyed while reporting this story—assume that Livestrong funnels large amounts of money into cancer research. Nope. The foundation gave out a total of $20 million in research grants between 1998 and 2005, the year it began phasing out its support of hard science. A note on the foundation’s website informs visitors that, as of 2010, it no longer even accepts research proposals. Now, the pedants will say that $20 million for research is still nothing to sneeze at and they’d be right. I’d wager that’s certainly more than everyone here has raised for cancer research, myself included. However, Livestrong is not now, nor has it ever been, an organization devoted entirely to cancer research. ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2012, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-got-cancer-in-your-balls-and-this-entitled-you-to/638521/51 "2012-10-22T17:27:48Z")
Well, **Cartooniverse** , I’m on your side. My kid idolized him. I thought he was a great guy who beat cancer and trained all winter in mountains, and through luck of nature had an unusually big, efficient heart and set of lungs. I’m pretty pissed off. I don’t need to see him wandering the streets homeless or anything, but what an asshole. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2012, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-got-cancer-in-your-balls-and-this-entitled-you-to/638521/52 "2012-10-22T17:29:07Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > Because riding a bike really fast is all that he’s good at? Is everyone but teachers aned firefighters useless in your world? And if the teachers are teaching anything but firefighting, fuck 'em! I’d be more upset about this if I could manage to care about bike racing. Unfortunately, the OP’s outrage has thus far failed to penetrate my shield of +4 Indifference. ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2012, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-got-cancer-in-your-balls-and-this-entitled-you-to/638521/53 "2012-10-22T17:35:00Z")
> [@bup](#): > > Well, **Cartooniverse** , I’m on your side. My kid idolized him. I thought he was a great guy who beat cancer and trained all winter in mountains, and through luck of nature had an unusually big, efficient heart and set of lungs. So now he’s just a guy who beat cancer and trained all winter in mountains. This is what I don’t get. Could I win the Tour de France next year if I start taking drugs right now? I’m guessing the answer is no, because I struggle to finish a 5K and the last time I rode a bike was three years ago. Everyone keeps talking about this like Lance Armstrong took magic flying pills that let him fly an invisible hover-bike to the finish line of his races. I’m pretty sure he was still training his ass off, along with all the other guys alongside him (who were also taking drugs, most likely). I mean, I’m not disagreeing with his removal. You break the rules, you take your lumps. But everyone acting like this is some kind of personal betrayal, like he was formerly a great hero and worthy of idolization but now he’s just some jerk – like his cancer foundation and the work he put in to train and all of that stuff that you formerly admired, doesn’t “count” now somehow. I don’t get that. ---
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2012, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-got-cancer-in-your-balls-and-this-entitled-you-to/638521/54 "2012-10-22T17:36:37Z")
> [@friedo](#): > > This is a good idea. From now on I shall idolize rappers. You misspelled [wrapper](http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150197409337423.312388.78445812422). Glad to help ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2012, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-got-cancer-in-your-balls-and-this-entitled-you-to/638521/55 "2012-10-22T17:42:42Z")
> [@Terr](#): > > Since everyone doped, the playing fiend was, in fact, even. Thus his winning 7 times in a row did mean supreme dedication to hard work and strong will. I agree. I was making a slightly different point, but ultimately, I agree with your post. ---
**Author:** ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2012, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-got-cancer-in-your-balls-and-this-entitled-you-to/638521/56 "2012-10-22T17:49:24Z")
Oh man. I haven’t been so disappointed in an athlete since I found out Andre Agassi had been wearing a wig. ---
**Author:** ![Try2B\_Comprehensive](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/try2b_comprehensive/32/65_2.png) [@Try2B\_Comprehensive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Try2B_Comprehensive)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2012, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-got-cancer-in-your-balls-and-this-entitled-you-to/638521/57 "2012-10-22T17:54:23Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > And yet the greatest sportsmen have (at least for the last century) been accorded status among the highest achievers in other areas - and it’s not just an American thing. Roger Bannister, Jesse Owens, Jackie Robinson, Steffi Graf, Pele, Michael Jordan, Donald Bradman, Carl Lewis, Tiger Woods, Jack Nicklaus, Roger Federer, Jim Brown, Bobby Charlton, Roger Milla, Michel Platini, Ferenc Puskas, Jonah Lomu, David Campese, Usain Bolt, Michael Phelps, Muhammad Ali, Babe Ruth, Diego Maradona… these are all people who could call the heads of state of their country and do lunch more or less whenever they felt like it. Hell, most of them could meet with _any_ head of state when they felt like it. Their names are as recognizable as any king, president or prime minister. They get more column inches in popular media than any politician. You are correct. Doctor Salk, the guy who invented the polio vaccine and then gave it away to humanity for free instead of patenting it, is wayyyyy less famous than pretty much any popular athlete. Really! OTOH, one could label the Salk vaccine as a ‘performance enhancing drug’. This whole scandal leaves me wondering if I could try some EPO please? ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2012, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-got-cancer-in-your-balls-and-this-entitled-you-to/638521/58 "2012-10-22T18:00:33Z")
It seems to me the evidence against him is pretty damning, but I don’t think it’s fair to say everything he did was a disingenuous. He helped a lot of people with cancer. That doesn’t excuse the doping, but the doping doesn’t cancel out the helping, either. I wish we could learn to accept that people can be really awful in some ways and really great in other ways. Seems like we set ourselves up for disappointment with this sort of thing. ---
**Author:** ![you\_with\_the\_face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ecccb3/32.png) [@you\_with\_the\_face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/you_with_the_face)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2012, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-got-cancer-in-your-balls-and-this-entitled-you-to/638521/59 "2012-10-22T18:07:14Z")
> [@Enderw24](#): > > If he hadn’t have doped, and he hadn’t have won 7 times in a row, how likely would he have been to create the LiveStrong charity in the first place? > > Seems to me it was his very actions that helped people. From what I’ve read it’s very possible he wouldn’t have had cancer in the first place, if he hadn’t doped. If we follow this down the rabbit hole, that means it’s a good thing that he cheated, because otherwise he wouldn’t have gotten sick and then felt compelled to start a charity that ended up helping people. But somehow I still think it’s extremely crappy that he doped and then lied about it for so many years. What is the accomplishment in winning a race if the only way you’re capable of winning is by subverting the official rules? Even if you tell yourself that it’s no big deal cuz everyone is doing it, you’re still letting those who treat you like a hero think you won fairly and squarely. You’re still taking money based on false pretenses. I don’t have a problem with athletes doping (because I don’t care about sports anyway). But rather than put the onus on non-cheaters to start their own leagues or whatever, it would better to put that onus on the other guys. A win needs to actually mean something, and if some players are playing by a different set of rules than other players, then the win is meaningless. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2012, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-got-cancer-in-your-balls-and-this-entitled-you-to/638521/60 "2012-10-22T18:08:27Z")
> [@Nzinga\_Seated](#): > > It isn’t that hard to understand why people look up to athletes. Yeah, they’re idiots. An aweful lot of idiots out there. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-got-cancer-in-your-balls-and-this-entitled-you-to/638521.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-got-cancer-in-your-balls-and-this-entitled-you-to/638521.md?page=4)