# So You Think You're A Swinger, Eh?: In which I Pit myself for being a social moron **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 21, 2005, 6:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-think-youre-a-swinger-eh-in-which-i-pit-myself-for-being-a-social-moron/300379 "2005-04-21T06:38:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2005, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-think-youre-a-swinger-eh-in-which-i-pit-myself-for-being-a-social-moron/300379/21 "2005-04-21T16:25:58Z")
My heart goes out to you, **Stranger** —kudos to you for the manly attempt. I think a day to lick wounds and then, back to the fray! Straighten your shoulders and get on with it, man! Chin up! (better luck next time) ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2005, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-think-youre-a-swinger-eh-in-which-i-pit-myself-for-being-a-social-moron/300379/22 "2005-04-21T16:29:01Z")
> [@eleanorigby](#): > > I think a day to lick wounds Silly, didn’t you read that he blew his chance at that? ---
**Author:** ![5que](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/5/3bc359/32.png) [@5que](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/5que)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2005, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-think-youre-a-swinger-eh-in-which-i-pit-myself-for-being-a-social-moron/300379/23 "2005-04-21T16:30:35Z")
> [@Stranger On A Train](#): > > _\_… in the form of three fingers of Black Bush, as quickly as possible. I had a very, very dirty thought when reading this. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2005, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-think-youre-a-swinger-eh-in-which-i-pit-myself-for-being-a-social-moron/300379/24 "2005-04-21T16:38:28Z")
“Gal-darnit, Mr. **Stranger** , you use your tongue prettier than a 20-dollar whore.” 😃 Keep trying. Sooner or later the scar tissue makes the Sting Of Rejection hurt a little less. ---
**Author:** ![Hamlet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hamlet/32/2818_2.png) [@Hamlet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamlet)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2005, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-think-youre-a-swinger-eh-in-which-i-pit-myself-for-being-a-social-moron/300379/25 "2005-04-21T16:41:19Z")
> [@Case Sensitive](#): > > She probably got a whiff of your turgid prose style. That OP was a long run for a short slide, wasn’t it? Oh, this comment is too funny coming from the guy who wrote [this](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=309910). Hypocrite. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2005, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-think-youre-a-swinger-eh-in-which-i-pit-myself-for-being-a-social-moron/300379/26 "2005-04-21T16:45:28Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > This noise is drowned out by every living creature in all of creation pointing and laughing at you, reminding you you were indeed a silly fool for thinking that such a goddess would condescend to take food from your wallet. Carrying the food around in your wallet is probably a big part of the problem, actually. “Want to have dinner with me?” “Sure, OK.” “Great! Here’s your jerky! Do you like teriyaki flavor? It makes my money smell weird, but I think it’s worth it.” ---
**Author:** ![Dead\_Badger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/848f3c/32.png) [@Dead\_Badger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dead_Badger)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2005, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-think-youre-a-swinger-eh-in-which-i-pit-myself-for-being-a-social-moron/300379/27 "2005-04-21T16:45:34Z")
> [@ShibbOleth](#): > > I read not so long ago that the M-16 rifle has something like a 500,000:1 shots fired to enemy hit ratio. Even the most inaccurate male may have a much higher target rate than that. Hmm. I guess it’s more of a splash-damage weapon, but the range is much poorer, and by and large I find that it’s not the best way to ask women out. More suited to the 5th date or so, assuming all goes well. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2005, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-think-youre-a-swinger-eh-in-which-i-pit-myself-for-being-a-social-moron/300379/28 "2005-04-21T16:48:16Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > Carrying the food around in your wallet is probably a big part of the problem, actually. Oh, I suppose you can think of a better way to keep pudding warm? ---
**Author:** ![Exgineer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Exgineer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exgineer)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2005, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-think-youre-a-swinger-eh-in-which-i-pit-myself-for-being-a-social-moron/300379/29 "2005-04-21T16:48:59Z")
> [@Maus Magill](#): > > Stupid Rule #14. > > I, too, once tested it and payed the price. > > Remember kids, just because she brings you drinks and listens sympathetically to your tales of whoa, doesn’t mean she’s interested. She could just be a good bartender. This can not be emphasized enough. I tested it often myself, to my regret. NEVER date the bartender. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2005, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-think-youre-a-swinger-eh-in-which-i-pit-myself-for-being-a-social-moron/300379/30 "2005-04-21T17:02:26Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Oh, I suppose you can think of a better way to keep pudding warm? Well, I _can_, but it’s not gonna get you any dates, let me tell you. ---
**Author:** ![Canadiangirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Canadiangirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Canadiangirl)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2005, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-think-youre-a-swinger-eh-in-which-i-pit-myself-for-being-a-social-moron/300379/31 "2005-04-21T17:15:41Z")
Hey stranger: You tried. That’s worth a lot. And a tiny tiny part of me hopes you don’t succeed because I just love your stories. But only a tiny part…the rest of me says "GO!!! STRANGER, GO!!!. Keep trying. You never know what will happen should she ever dump her current - maybe you’ll be the “apple of her eye” 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2005, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-think-youre-a-swinger-eh-in-which-i-pit-myself-for-being-a-social-moron/300379/32 "2005-04-21T17:18:53Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > Well, I _can_, but it’s not gonna get you any dates, let me tell you. If you’re thinking what I think you’re thinking, then the date would have to be going really well for her to even _know_ that there’s pudding present. ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2005, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-think-youre-a-swinger-eh-in-which-i-pit-myself-for-being-a-social-moron/300379/33 "2005-04-21T17:42:43Z")
> [@unclviny](#): > > Good story (a little long though) but Steve McQueen rode a Triumph and not a Norton (some reports are that it’s the same bike that Fonzie rode on “Happy Days”). Er, I knew that. No, really I did. :smack: I believe the rumor that the bike in _The Great Escape_ was ridden by Fonzie on _Happy Days_ has been demonstrated as a myth, but IMDb still lists it in their trivia and Snopes is silent on the matter. It is definitely the same model, though (a TR6.) Stranger ---
**Author:** ![tremorviolet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e47774/32.png) [@tremorviolet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tremorviolet)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2005, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-think-youre-a-swinger-eh-in-which-i-pit-myself-for-being-a-social-moron/300379/34 "2005-04-21T17:51:36Z")
> [@Maus Magill](#): > > Remember kids, just because she brings you drinks and listens sympathetically to your tales of whoa, doesn’t mean she’s interested. She could just be a good bartender. Man, I love to listen to a good tale of whoa… 🙂 Anyway, the only thing that you could possibly be embarrassed about is how you launched the dinner invitation. You need to kinda lead up to it with something like, “I really enjoyed chatting with you. I don’t suppose it’s that you’re still single.” Then if she has any social graces, she’ll smile and say something like “I"m sorry, I’m dating someone right now but thank you.” If she reacts badly, she’s probably either rude (so you dodged a bullet) or really, really shy (this is what I am). You need to give her a way to easily back out of it so she doesn’t feel trapped. And a lot of girls will not accept any dates with strangers, just as a matter of course. But other ones are like my friend Marita who when she was dating, figured she might as well go one date with anyone who asks. She’s way more adventurous than me but she has some great stories… (BTW, SOAT, very soon I will finish up an email I let get toooooo long…) ---
**Author:** ![Gangster\_Octopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2005, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-think-youre-a-swinger-eh-in-which-i-pit-myself-for-being-a-social-moron/300379/35 "2005-04-21T18:14:32Z")
This remimnds me of my friend who is convinced that every waitress, bartender we encounter likes him. It’s not an ego thing where he thinks he is all that, bu the factthat here is a woman who is being nice to him looks him in the eye, smiles and brings food and beer. This is not an exagerration, it happens every time. And if it is a place we go to a more than once ther eis the chance he will ask the woman out which usually results in us not going back to said restaurant any time in the near future. ANd he doesn’t learn. I certainly do not begrudge **Stranger** for trying. I think we have all fell for the “pretty girl just being nice and helpful because it is her job her job and mistaking it for something else” trap. Thankfully most of us (unlike my friend) are able to eventually learn this. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2005, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-think-youre-a-swinger-eh-in-which-i-pit-myself-for-being-a-social-moron/300379/36 "2005-04-21T18:17:25Z")
I’m confused. So did she twonk your weiner? ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2005, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-think-youre-a-swinger-eh-in-which-i-pit-myself-for-being-a-social-moron/300379/37 "2005-04-21T18:20:32Z")
> [@tremorviolet](#): > > Man, I love to listen to a good tale of whoa… 🙂 You’d really like Keanu Reeves then. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2005, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-think-youre-a-swinger-eh-in-which-i-pit-myself-for-being-a-social-moron/300379/38 "2005-04-21T18:21:51Z")
> [@lieu](#): > > I’m confused. So did she twonk your weiner? You obviously didn’t read the OP carefully enough. They were in the produce section. He did get to fondle her pippins, though. ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2005, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-think-youre-a-swinger-eh-in-which-i-pit-myself-for-being-a-social-moron/300379/39 "2005-04-21T18:51:08Z")
> [@Canadiangirl](#): > > Hey stranger: You tried. That’s worth a lot. And a tiny tiny part of me hopes you don’t succeed because I just love your stories. But only a tiny part…the rest of me says "GO!!! STRANGER, GO!!!. > > Keep trying. You never know what will happen should she ever dump her current - maybe you’ll be the “apple of her eye” 🙂 I, for one, will demand date stories in the vein of the OP, only with happier endings. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2005, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-think-youre-a-swinger-eh-in-which-i-pit-myself-for-being-a-social-moron/300379/40 "2005-04-21T19:03:49Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > I’ve never quite understood why it can be so awkward to indicate to a nice, attractive woman that you think she’s nice and attractive enough to ask out. So she has someone else (a boyfriend) who also finds her nice and attractive? So what? Say something witty about how you just figured you’d give it a shot because you both like them apples and she’s got a nice smile, collect your produce and walk away with a wave. Less embarrassment for you, and she can continue her shift thinking about that nice guy she met who complimented her so nicely, instead of the shifty guy who seemed so nice until he got all weird and awkward. > > Just sayin’. I read your posts like an advice column. Granted, most of the advice is stuff that’ll probably never work for me but…This perspective right here just took 90% of my fear of rejection out of the equation for me. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-think-youre-a-swinger-eh-in-which-i-pit-myself-for-being-a-social-moron/300379.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-think-youre-a-swinger-eh-in-which-i-pit-myself-for-being-a-social-moron/300379.md?page=3)