# So you wake up tomorrow and you can heal people **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 8, 2007, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-wake-up-tomorrow-and-you-can-heal-people/395153 "2007-03-08T20:06:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2007, 12:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-wake-up-tomorrow-and-you-can-heal-people/395153/41 "2007-03-11T12:36:58Z")
[QUOTE=Rysdad] I’d just go to the upcoming Democratic National Convention and start shaking hands like crazy. [/QUOTE] Yes, the Demos **need** to re-grow their testacles, they seem to have misplaced them, lately. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2007, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-wake-up-tomorrow-and-you-can-heal-people/395153/42 "2007-03-11T12:54:16Z")
First, I’d heal my little brother’s C-5 spinal injury and get him walking again. Then I’d go public. I’d go on TV and insist that the greatest medical minds in the world verify my powers. Then I’d adress my government and demand that I be declared a “national asset”, and that I be given a car, a driven, a staff of bodyguards for myself and for my family, and a yearly stipend of several million dollars. With pubic opinion at my back, I don’t think that’ll be a problem. Then I’d just go from hospital to hospital, clinic to clinic and heal everyone I can. My main problem will be burning out too fast, so I’ll try and keep it at 8-10 hours a day. People flying in from abroad for treatment will be charged at my discretion It won’t be the easiest life, but I’ll be providing for my family, and it’s not as if it won’t have it’s own rewards. Plus, it’ll be a mitzva. ---
**Author:** ![FRDE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e68b1a/32.png) [@FRDE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FRDE)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2007, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-wake-up-tomorrow-and-you-can-heal-people/395153/43 "2007-03-11T13:25:55Z")
I would be very wary of landing up as a Lab Rat - in fact I think I would hide behind stooges To some extent this reminds me of: ‘The Trouble With Lichen’ by John Wyndham ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2007, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-wake-up-tomorrow-and-you-can-heal-people/395153/44 "2007-03-11T13:35:20Z")
1. Tell the world’s sick people to form an orderly queue. 😃 2. Organise medical research on me: - to prolong my life - to find the cause so others can gain the power 1. Accept a comfortable standard of living from a grateful world 🆒 2. Accept a comfortable amount of sexual adoration :eek: ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2007, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-wake-up-tomorrow-and-you-can-heal-people/395153/45 "2007-03-11T13:51:25Z")
I am going to recount something here that I’ve been loath to put on the SDMB for obvious reasons, but what the hell. I don’t know what to think about it. I will report only what I perceived, and allow you to make up your own minds. I was travelling in China with my ex, and one night in a guest house in Dali, Yunnan, she got a stinker of a headache. It was so bad that she was knocking her head against a wall to try to get the pain to go away - she was hysterical and painkillers were doing nothing. To calm her down, I pretended that I would “heal” her and take the pain away from her head. I had absolutely no belief that I would do anything of the sort, but I wanted her to know that I was empathising with her. We lay on the bed and I put my hands over her head - not touching - and relaxed. After a few minutes I started really concentrating on my hands, and I felt a tingling in them. I consciously increased the tingling (difficult to describe this) and felt an intense “burst” in my hands, and she simultaneously said “wow! It’s gone!” I lost concentration on my hands, and she immediately said “Oh. It’s come back. Do that again will you?” So again over the next few minutes I focused this tingling feeling into my hands, and the moment I intensified the feeling, got the “burst” and again she immediately said “Thank you. It’s gone again.” Then I took my hands away and the pain came back again. That’s all. I don’t believe in faith healing, and particularly not faith _healers_. I am sure it was just a coincidence, but the “burst” feeling coincided twice with her reporting lack of pain. Nothing like that has happened since. ---
**Author:** ![FRDE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e68b1a/32.png) [@FRDE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FRDE)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2007, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-wake-up-tomorrow-and-you-can-heal-people/395153/46 "2007-03-11T14:51:29Z")
Jjimm, a friend of mine recently told me something similar, he is no spring chicken, and was cautious about bringing it up. I’ve heard a number of peculiar stories, the better ones being like things friends telling me about what happened to their father etc. I’ve also experienced something that spooked me and spooked the guy ‘practising’ on me. I don’t mind trying things out, but have limited expectations - Reiki is safer than a chemical cosh. My guess is that there is something about ‘healers’, but they don’t understand it and neither do we. At its crudest, most people can calm down a cat, and get calmed down themselves. Well getting cruder, I much prefer sleeping with a friendly g/f. It might just be pherenomes - but hands could produce those, and react to them. Incidentally this stuff is not new, my uncle picked up a load of similar things in India during WWII ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2007, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-wake-up-tomorrow-and-you-can-heal-people/395153/47 "2007-03-11T19:22:11Z")
I don’t see a lot of evil applications for this power, and I’m kinda sorta committed to villainy on a philosophical basis, so I’m gonna say nothing. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2007, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-wake-up-tomorrow-and-you-can-heal-people/395153/48 "2007-03-11T19:29:51Z")
Watch the movie \*\*[Resurrection\*\*](http://www.sff.net/people/rothman/GBF/Resurrection.htm), which specifically dealt with the issues. ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2007, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-wake-up-tomorrow-and-you-can-heal-people/395153/49 "2007-03-11T23:57:12Z")
I went to a “Body Mind Spirit Expo” with a friend once and was told by two different “readers” that I have an undeveloped gift for healing which just needs to be awakened.\* (And no, neither of them tried to sell me anything to help me do that, and neither was specific as to what I needed to do to waken it.) I’m pretty skeptical about that sort of thing, but my friend offered to suggest a few books if I wanted to “develop my hidden potential”. If I ever did find that I had true healing ability, the first thing I’d do is heal a few friends who have health problems, as well as my dad, who at 75 is showing the effects of his age. Then I’d try to get a job at UNC hospital, or volunteer if necessary, and start making the rounds at the children’s and terminal areas. I might consider trying to set up some sort of “healing facility” if I could do it without risk of official interference. I don’t know if I would be willing to go the televangelist route, although I used to joke about doing it for the money if I thought I could live with being a lying hypocrite. Maybe if I really could heal I’d give it a try, though. \*Interestingly enough, I was also told that I was going to live to be 100. In which case, I really should start taking better care of myself, if it isn’t too late already. ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2007, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-wake-up-tomorrow-and-you-can-heal-people/395153/50 "2007-03-12T01:04:05Z")
First I’d hop on a plane and heal some relatives, then I start making long-term plans. I’m friends with several doctors in a pretty widely spaced range of specialties (orthopedic oncology, spinal injuries, rheumatoid diseases, cardiology, etc.). Once I’d convinced them of my powers, I’d make them a deal: they bring me around their clinics/hospitals as a ‘visiting intern’, where I pretend to take pulses and make notes, healing every one of their patients. They get the recognition and accolades, I get a share of the proceeds. I’m thinking somewhere in the neighborhood of $50,000/year each. ---
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2007, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-wake-up-tomorrow-and-you-can-heal-people/395153/51 "2007-03-12T01:22:39Z")
[QUOTE=Sublight] I’m thinking somewhere in the neighborhood of $50,000/year each. [/QUOTE] I’m sure you can make a lot more money than that. Me, I’d convince people I was a god and have a religion built around me. With concubines. Lots and lots of concubines. ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2007, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-wake-up-tomorrow-and-you-can-heal-people/395153/52 "2007-03-12T01:43:57Z")
[QUOTE=RandMcnally] I’m sure you can make a lot more money than that. [/QUOTE] Well, negotiations are always open. Besides, I was thinking of that amount (at least at first) from each doctor. I could easily do a rotating schedule between a dozen or so. My main concern was staying relatively anonymous, so the doctors are my front. And then, the whole ‘private resort-clinic on an island with no regulatory agencies’ idea would be nice, too. ---
**Author:** ![Yag\_Rannavach](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/858c86/32.png) [@Yag\_Rannavach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yag_Rannavach)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2007, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-wake-up-tomorrow-and-you-can-heal-people/395153/53 "2007-03-12T02:10:25Z")
[QUOTE=Skald the Rhymer] I don’t see a lot of evil applications for this power, and I’m kinda sorta committed to villainy on a philosophical basis, so I’m gonna say nothing. [/QUOTE] Clearly you aren’t thinking hard enough. I’ll throw out another evil use for the power… Find a several people who are into crime and not addicted to drugs. Offer to heal them of any and all injuries they suffer in exchange for their services. Then have them break into random homes and kill/maim everyone. They get to be invincible, and you get a crime wave. ---
**Author:** ![Yag\_Rannavach](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/858c86/32.png) [@Yag\_Rannavach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yag_Rannavach)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2007, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-wake-up-tomorrow-and-you-can-heal-people/395153/54 "2007-03-12T02:17:18Z")
Oops, realized that my comment could be taken the wrong way…meant to throw one of these after it 😉 ---
**Author:** ![TheMerchandise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b487fb/32.png) [@TheMerchandise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheMerchandise)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2007, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-wake-up-tomorrow-and-you-can-heal-people/395153/55 "2007-03-12T15:07:12Z")
Anyone heard of the Mad Russian? He’s a man in Boston who claims to be able to heal anxiety, pain, addictions. My mother and step-father visited him and reported much success. They also said he was blunt-to-the-point-of-rudeness where his patients were concerned. Like a real life version of House. ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2007, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-wake-up-tomorrow-and-you-can-heal-people/395153/56 "2007-03-12T15:41:00Z")
[QUOTE=TheMerchandise] Anyone heard of the Mad Russian? He’s a man in Boston who claims to be able to heal anxiety, pain, addictions. My mother and step-father visited him and reported much success. They also said he was blunt-to-the-point-of-rudeness where his patients were concerned. Like a real life version of House. [/QUOTE] I’ve heard of him. My mother and an aunt went to him in the early 90’s - he was claiming he could help people quit smoking - guaranteed. His stop smoking technique was to tell my mom and aunt that the farm hands that harvest the tobacco in their cigarettes worked long days in the fields, that bathrooms weren’t provided, and so these field hands defecated and urinated on the tobacco plants. Consequently, by smoking, one was actually ingesting feces and urine. :eek: My mom found it disgusting enough that she quit smoking. For a week. That wasabout 15 years ago, and she’s still smoking. Mad Russian, indeed. ---
**Author:** ![Dante](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dante/32/9673_2.png) [@Dante](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dante)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2007, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-wake-up-tomorrow-and-you-can-heal-people/395153/57 "2007-03-12T16:51:09Z")
If I can heal animals, then I’d set up a vet clinic and start working. No people allowed. People suck. Since I could control the power, I’d just claim it doesn’t work on them. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-wake-up-tomorrow-and-you-can-heal-people/395153.md?page=2)