# So you want to be an unholy lesbian vampire **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 29, 2000, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-want-to-be-an-unholy-lesbian-vampire/38845 "2000-10-29T21:13:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![kalephunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/edb3f5/32.png) [@kalephunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kalephunk)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2000, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-want-to-be-an-unholy-lesbian-vampire/38845/61 "2000-11-06T01:54:05Z")
ooh, i wanna join a club that can tell me what to think, because, well, damn, i’m too lazy to do that myself, for sure. 1. Be unholy 2. Be lesbian 3. Be a vampire 4. Be in an army 5. Be of the night. here we go: 1. you betcha… someone tried to save my soul the other day. 2. all the way! 3. oooh, that’s a toughie. have to go with “no” on that one. 4. daddy’s in the army, so i’m an army brat – is that close enough? 5. of the night… well, i haven’t seen daylight in 3 days and routinely wake up after 6pm… so i guess i’m “of the night”. is that good enough? am i in? i wanna be the official “Dark Knave of the Unholy Lesbian Vampire Army of the Night”. ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2000, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-want-to-be-an-unholy-lesbian-vampire/38845/62 "2000-11-06T03:56:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Nicki \* > \*\*i’ve been waiting for a group like this! > > 1.) i am quite unholy > 2.) i am quite a lesbian > 3.) i am almost a vampire > 4.) my girlfriend is a military brat (close enough by association, right?) > 5.) i am most defintely of the night i haven’t seen daylight in 4 days! > > can i be a lady in waiting? \*\* Since the Dark Princess is busy, the Dark Queen will welcome you to the fold herself. Welcome! As for you, **kalephunk** - do you have any references? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2000, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-want-to-be-an-unholy-lesbian-vampire/38845/63 "2000-11-06T04:03:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by kalephunk \* > **ooh, i wanna join a club that can tell me what to think, because, well, damn, i’m too lazy to do that myself, for sure.** Who said anything about telling you what to think? If you read mine or **andygirl’s** posts, I think you will see no one tells us what to think… > [@](#): > > \*\*is that good enough? am i in? i wanna be the official “Dark Knave of the Unholy Lesbian Vampire Army of the Night”. \*\* Sure, I just had to do a little background check on you first, since it was your first post and first month (oh, we’re ever so exclusive here :rolleyes: ). I checked out your webcam and site, and the files on it. You seem cool enough - welcome! ---
**Author:** ![kalephunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/edb3f5/32.png) [@kalephunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kalephunk)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2000, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-want-to-be-an-unholy-lesbian-vampire/38845/64 "2000-11-06T04:05:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\*\*Originally posted by Anthracite \* > > As for you, **kalephunk** - do you have any references? 🙂 \*\* hrrrmmmm, i dunno… when i worked at taco bell my manager said i was reeeeal good at making crappy tacos, does that count? heh, and oh yeh, Nicki sorta referred me. i know it’s hard to tell 😉 ---
**Author:** ![kalephunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/edb3f5/32.png) [@kalephunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kalephunk)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2000, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-want-to-be-an-unholy-lesbian-vampire/38845/65 "2000-11-06T04:17:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Anthracite \* > \*\* > Who said anything about telling you what to think? If you read mine or **andygirl’s** posts, I think you will see no one tells us what to think… \*\* whew, thank god, i really didn’t want to give up my free will, but damn, i sure wanted to be cool and join a club, just to say i’m part of something. heh. i know i’m pathetic. > [@](#): > > \*\* > Sure, I just had to do a little background check on you first, since it was your first post and first month (oh, we’re ever so exclusive here :rolleyes: ). I checked out your webcam and site, and the files on it. You seem cool enough - welcome! \*\* woohoo! time for a victory dance as i celebrate my newfound unholy lesbian vampire army of the night-ness. i feel so special! yay! okay, i’m done being stupid now. ---
**Author:** ![andygirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@andygirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andygirl)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2000, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-want-to-be-an-unholy-lesbian-vampire/38845/66 "2000-11-06T04:19:35Z")
Oh, yes. Everyone who applied is in. Those of you who have not, feel free to claim your official titles. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2000, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-want-to-be-an-unholy-lesbian-vampire/38845/67 "2000-11-06T04:24:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by kalephunk \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*\*\*Originally posted by Anthracite \* > > > > As for you, **kalephunk** - do you have any references? 🙂 \*\* > > hrrrmmmm, i dunno… when i worked at taco bell my manager said i was reeeeal good at making crappy tacos, does that count? heh, and oh yeh, Nicki sorta referred me. i know it’s hard to tell ;)\*\* Well, like I posted, you both are in now. You can celebrate with us at our Unholy Lesbian Vampire Country Club Dance and Ice Cream Social next Friday. Fridays are our special night - we typically do miniature golf or Unreal Tournament, have a feast on some poor unsuspecting male Doper (I think it’s **Crunchy Frog** this week), share readings from Anne Rice, plan our next strategic move to take over the Board, then, of course, have sex. Bring a rice or noodle dish. You also have to find a sponsor, who will adopt you into her bloodline. Mine is the oldest and most powerful, of course, but I have only personally shared it with a select few. Perhaps the Dark Princess will adopt you - since I brought her and **quietgirl** into the fold, that would get you into the right bloodline without my having to sully my perfect lips on your unworthy necks. (Note to self - My, the Dark Princess’s coven grows daily. I wonder if she is gathering her forces for a coup…) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-want-to-be-an-unholy-lesbian-vampire/38845.md?page=3)