# So, you want to kill superhero... **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 11, 2003, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-want-to-kill-superhero/187604 "2003-07-11T01:10:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2003, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-want-to-kill-superhero/187604/61 "2003-07-15T02:56:00Z")
I beg to differ! The apocalypse-a-year ultra-dramas come out in the comics due to one-upsmanship. Which sounds more impressive: \*) If we don’t stop the bad guys, they’ll blow up a bank! – OR – \*) If we don’t stop the bad guys, they’ll blow up the Earth! ---
**Author:** ![Vlad\_Dracul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/50afbb/32.png) [@Vlad\_Dracul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vlad_Dracul)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2003, 6:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-want-to-kill-superhero/187604/62 "2003-07-15T06:17:39Z")
Killing Nightcrawler: while he’s gone, fill his bedroom with bricks, floor to ceiling, wall to wall. Then, fake a phone call from his girlfriend: “Oh my God! Kurt, help me! I’m in your bedroom and… EEEEEK!!” He teleports, materializes inside brick. Do you suppose there’d be an explosion? ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Nader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Darth\_Nader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Nader)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2003, 10:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-want-to-kill-superhero/187604/63 "2003-07-15T10:33:26Z")
Put any hero you wish into a late '80’s-early '90’s **DC/VERTIGO** book. Moore, Gaiman, Morrison, etc…Those guys could croak nearly _any_ character, and get away with it. I miss those days. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2003, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-want-to-kill-superhero/187604/64 "2003-07-15T13:44:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lumpy \* > I think the “weakness” thing is a bit of a cliche that it avoided nowadays. Superman no longer has to worry about every mugger finding a piece of kryptonite, the newest Green Lantern’s ring doesn’t inexpliciably fail against yellow objects, Wonder Woman is no longer powerless against any man who can bind her wrists and coat her with peanut oil. 😃 I’m not sure if that last one is an improvement or not. ---
**Author:** ![Diceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Diceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diceman)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2003, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-want-to-kill-superhero/187604/65 "2003-07-15T16:47:02Z")
Hiring a sniper would probably be a good way to take out Green Lantern or Wonder Woman, or anyone else who you couldn’t confront directly. Either stake out some place that your target frequents, or have an expendable henchman lure him/her to the “kill zone.” ---
**Author:** ![Apos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/838e76/32.png) [@Apos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Apos)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2003, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-want-to-kill-superhero/187604/66 "2003-07-15T16:59:30Z")
As Nash (the Mist from the Starman comics) showed, it’s freakin easy to kill superheros if you just plan on actually doing so without a lot of dootin around and avoiding the final act. > [@](#): > > Aquaman: “All I do is talk to fish. Yeah, that’s about it. Good thing one of those fish is the Leviathan! Ha! Who’s laughing now, Dr. Evil?” That’s nothing. Aquaman can apparently EXPLODE PEOPLE’S BRAINS at will by beaming “fish talk” at them in the right frequency. Also, he has a swell pointy hand dealie. ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2003, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-want-to-kill-superhero/187604/67 "2003-07-15T19:09:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Diceman \* > \*\*Hiring a sniper would probably be a good way to take out Green Lantern or Wonder Woman, or anyone else who you couldn’t confront directly. Either stake out some place that your target frequents, or have an expendable henchman lure him/her to the “kill zone.” \*\* And, in the case of Green Lantern, be sure your sniper uses yellow bullets. Does Wonder Woman have anything akin to “spider sense” that could alert her to the danger and allow her to position her bracelets in the right position before the sniper pulls the trigger? ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2003, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-want-to-kill-superhero/187604/68 "2003-07-15T20:18:39Z")
> [@](#): > > Now if the same trick were tried on Magneto’s Asteroid M base in space (is that thing still around, I’m out of the loop comicwise), it might work. Not necessarily. Hard vacuum is not instantly fatal: You can survive in it as long as you can go without breathing. Oh, it won’t be exactly healthy, and you’ll probably take some serious damage to your eardrums and other sensitive parts, but nothing that’ll kill you in less than a minute or two. Now, safely reducing his speed might be difficult, I’ll admit. Is Nightcrawler’s teleportation limited by anything other than line-of-sight? Any maximum range? ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2003, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-want-to-kill-superhero/187604/69 "2003-07-15T20:22:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by tracer \* > \*\*And, in the case of Green Lantern, be sure your sniper uses yellow bullets. > > Does Wonder Woman have anything akin to “spider sense” that could alert her to the danger and allow her to position her bracelets in the right position before the sniper pulls the trigger? \*\* Two words: Nerve Gas. ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2003, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-want-to-kill-superhero/187604/70 "2003-07-16T02:03:06Z")
Against Green Lantern, it would have to be **yellow** nerve gas. The guy can keep a forcefield around himself even when he’s not concentrating. ---
**Author:** ![shy\_guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a6a055/32.png) [@shy\_guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shy_guy)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2003, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-want-to-kill-superhero/187604/71 "2003-07-16T02:50:25Z")
> [@](#): > > I seem to recall a alternate future where he was killed by having all his atoms split one by one. This process provided power for all of Las Vegas for a year! Seems that’s the only way to kill a shapeshifter like him. At least, that’s the only way I can think off. Well, with MM you could just, you know, light him on fire. Problem pretty much solved. And couldn’t you kill a conventional shapeshifter just by sticking them in an airtight chamber? Unless they’re inhuman, they’ve still gotta breathe. > [@](#): > > Does Wonder Woman have anything akin to “spider sense” that could alert her to the danger and allow her to position her bracelets in the right position before the sniper pulls the trigger? Well, she can hear really, really well, and she’s pretty darn fast (she can keep with with Flash and Superman, after all), so I bet she’d hear the bullet and turn around to stop it. What bugs me is why a sniper never bothers to take out, say, Captain America or about half the X-Men. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2003, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-want-to-kill-superhero/187604/72 "2003-07-16T04:57:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by tracer \* > \*\*Against Green Lantern, it would have to be **yellow** nerve gas. The guy can keep a forcefield around himself even when he’s not concentrating. \*\* What about his food supply, then? He’s still got to eat, doesn’t he? Granted, you might have to wait until he’s at a restaraunt, or orders a pizza, or something. By the way…does anyone else think that “yellow” is a really _stupid_ super-weakness? I mean, something like “Dead organic material,” “Alloy of a fissile element,” or “High U/V reflectivity” I can see, but…_yellow?_ ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2003, 6:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-want-to-kill-superhero/187604/73 "2003-07-16T06:17:13Z")
**Plastic Man** : Drug or gas him unconscious and wait for him to go all loose and ropey. Then, tie his neck in a big ol’ Boy Scout knot. May also work for **Mr. Fantastic** , **Elongated Man** , and **Elastic Lad** , but I’ve never actually seen those guys lose control over their forms when they go under. ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2003, 7:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-want-to-kill-superhero/187604/74 "2003-07-16T07:02:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by shy guy \* > What bugs me is why a sniper never bothers to take out, say, Captain America or about half the X-Men. Well, there was that scene in the X-Men graphic novel, **God Loves, Man Kills** … ---
**Author:** ![Sock\_Munkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@Sock\_Munkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sock_Munkey)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2003, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-want-to-kill-superhero/187604/75 "2003-07-16T21:15:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Chronos \* > \*\*Now, safely reducing his speed might be difficult, I’ll admit. Is Nightcrawler’s teleportation limited by anything other than line-of-sight? Any maximum range? \*\* About 2-3 miles. ---
**Author:** ![Verrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/46a35a/32.png) [@Verrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Verrain)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2003, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-want-to-kill-superhero/187604/76 "2003-07-16T21:51:19Z")
Now for me, you have to go with the irony factor for killing superheros. For example, **Captain America** should die in a Patriot missle explosion. **Dr. Strange** should be killed by a stage magician that whips a four of clubs into his forehead. That sort of thing. And on the Green Lantern thing, it sounds like a Louisville Slugger painted yellow will take out two of the three. ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2003, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-want-to-kill-superhero/187604/77 "2003-07-17T01:32:27Z")
I asked: > [@](#): > > Does Wonder Woman have anything akin to “spider sense” that could alert her to the danger and allow her to position her bracelets in the right position before the sniper pulls the trigger? … to which **shy guy** replied: > [@](#): > > Well, she can hear really, really well, and she’s pretty darn fast (she can keep with with Flash and Superman, after all), so I bet she’d hear the bullet and turn around to stop it. Ah, but what if the sniper used a rifle whose bullets travelled **faster than the speed of sound?** (Such high-powered rifles are actually pretty commonplace, y’know.) ---
**Author:** ![shy\_guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a6a055/32.png) [@shy\_guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shy_guy)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2003, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-want-to-kill-superhero/187604/78 "2003-07-17T05:23:15Z")
> [@](#): > > Ah, but what if the sniper used a rifle whose bullets travelled faster than the speed of sound? (Such high-powered rifles are actually pretty commonplace, y’know.) Actually, I didn’t know that, so ignorance is being fought as we speak. All I can think of is A) the rules of sound must work differently in the DC Universe anyway, because people like Superman and Wonder Woman can travel at ridiculously fast speeds and still talk to each other B) Wonder Woman’s powers being entirely magic based and her huge level of power might alter her perceptions in such a way that she just “feels” the bullet coming (perhaps through vibrations in the air) Of course, I’m with you on the “why doesn’t someone just shoot her in the head” train, but if I were a writer, I might use one of the above thingys for justification. ---
**Author:** ![MrBoy1967](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5f9b8f/32.png) [@MrBoy1967](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrBoy1967)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2003, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-want-to-kill-superhero/187604/79 "2003-07-17T06:50:16Z")
Beavis & Butthead say: “Did you say Green Lantern is vulnerable to wood?” “Huhhuhhuh! He said wood!” ---
**Author:** ![MrBoy1967](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5f9b8f/32.png) [@MrBoy1967](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrBoy1967)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2003, 6:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-want-to-kill-superhero/187604/80 "2003-07-17T06:58:03Z")
Wonder Woman: Microwave Lasers. Cook from the inside out! Iron Man: see above, but cooking is much more thorough and sparky! Superman: Cut him in half-he IS vulnerable to magic! Spider-Man: Get him a hot date with Spider Woman. She bites his head off in the waterbed. The Hulk: Get him a week at a health spa. While they are giving him a mudbath and playing Enya on an endless loop-cap his ass. Captain America: Get him to be a White House Spokesman for 24 hours. His head will explode. Batman: A toughie- either some kind of poisin like Ricin or Botulin, or a low grade nuke. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-want-to-kill-superhero/187604.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-want-to-kill-superhero/187604.md?page=5)