# So, you want to start a cult? Phase one!

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-want-to-start-a-cult-phase-one/532961>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [March 19, 2010, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-want-to-start-a-cult-phase-one/532961 "2010-03-19T00:38:43Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 3\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\
**Post date:** [March 21, 2010, 6:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-want-to-start-a-cult-phase-one/532961/21 "2010-03-21T06:53:29Z")

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> [@Lust4Life](#):
>
> So it looks like I’m already qualified,when do I get the money and the worshippers?

Well. All you need to do is buy an AClockworkMelon Cult Kit for $499.99. But with that kit you get the ability to SELL AClockworkMelon Cult Kits for $499.99 and YOU keep half the revenue of every one you sell! But there’s more! You also get to keep one quarter of the revenue of all AClockworkMelon Cult Kits sold by people who you brought into the system. Then they get to sell Cult Kits and so on.

It’s foolproof!

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**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\
**Post date:** [March 21, 2010, 7:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-want-to-start-a-cult-phase-one/532961/22 "2010-03-21T07:07:32Z")

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> [@DocCathode](#):
>
> You have this backwards. Daphne is a prissy bitch. Velma is cute, smart, and you know she’s a demon in the sack.
> 
> Also, I bet she says “Jinkies!” at the moment of moments.

Not at the moment, but after the moment she sighs it.  
Don’t ask me how I know this.

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**Author:** ![Uncle\_Brother\_Walker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f08c70/32.png) [@Uncle\_Brother\_Walker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncle_Brother_Walker)\
**Post date:** [March 21, 2010, 10:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-you-want-to-start-a-cult-phase-one/532961/23 "2010-03-21T10:03:18Z")

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But what if I don’t \*want \*to drink the MelonAide?

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