# "So, your fingers are too fat to write a check?" **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 2, 2004, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-your-fingers-are-too-fat-to-write-a-check/227203 "2004-02-02T17:07:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Bill\_H](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a5b964/32.png) [@Bill\_H](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bill_H)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2004, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-your-fingers-are-too-fat-to-write-a-check/227203/21 "2004-02-03T04:40:20Z")
**MinniePurl** wrote > [@](#): > > How aggressive was this person that organised the group? Or on another tack, how lax was the person who organized it? Someone somewhere should be harassing the flakers to pony up what they committed. Doesn’t require humiliation (although that is the more effective route, I’ll agree), but it should certainly contain a good dose of guilt. If you have a list of all of the flakes, perhaps you can take things into your own hands. Or even better, send the list of flakes to all those that have paid and take a more pack-like approach. Nothing like social pressure to get social sinners back in line. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2004, 10:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-your-fingers-are-too-fat-to-write-a-check/227203/22 "2004-02-03T10:48:17Z")
Public humiliation? In Weight Watchers? Okay, I’ll give it a go… _clears throat experimentally, puts on “amateur-thespian-thinking-self-into-part” expression…_ _Enter **Malacandra** with face as black as thunder. He is wearing a creaking, heavy leather jacket that looks like its original owner parted with it only after a severe struggle. It weighs about ten pounds and is buckled with enough ironware to moor a small warship. His grimy boots tread dirt into the carpet. Someone is going to be called upon to clean them before much longer, and it won’t be with a boot-brush. His eyes scan down the list of names on the clipboard and then laser into his helpless victim_. You. Here! No, not like that. Crawl. With your head to the floor! How dare you think everyone here wants to see your ugly, stupid, miserable, self-pitying face, you lard-assed, self-indulgent, gluttonous, weak-willed whore. What are you? I can’t hear you! Louder! Yes, you are, and don’t you forget it. Let’s see what you’ve been eating _studies Tracker_. You’ve been snacking, haven’t you? Poisoning your body with empty calories, all sugar and saturated fat. _No wonder you’ve got an ass like a hippo’s!!_ What is your ass like? Tell everybody what your ass is like. _No, one at a time in alphabetical order, you stupid bitch!_ And call them all Mistress. Beg them to whip your fat hippo’s ass. You can carry the whip under your flabby tits, can’t you? Can’t you? Why can you? Because you’ve been poisoning your body with empty calories. You’ve got no more self-control than a pig in shit. What do you think you’re doing showing off your vast, fat-laden belly in front of people? You should be caged. Beg to be caged. Beg! But first, do you know what I’m going to do? I’m going to _weigh_ you. That’s right, like a piece of livestock. Because that’s what you are, isn’t it? A piece of livestock, to be sold by weight, like a meat animal, like a fat cow or pig. Come here then, on the scales.You’re only fit to be sold by the pound. Let’s find out how many pounds you are! _murmurs_ You’ve lost two pounds. That’s 15 altogether. Here’s your second 7. Make sure you drink eight glasses of water per day. See you next week. ---
**Author:** ![Tansu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/67e7ee/32.png) [@Tansu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tansu)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2004, 10:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-your-fingers-are-too-fat-to-write-a-check/227203/23 "2004-02-03T10:55:12Z")
Weight Watchers for submissives - I like it. ---
**Author:** ![mischievous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@mischievous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mischievous)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2004, 11:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-your-fingers-are-too-fat-to-write-a-check/227203/24 "2004-02-03T11:48:24Z")
I just burned 200 calories giggling. ---
**Author:** ![mischievous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@mischievous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mischievous)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2004, 12:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-your-fingers-are-too-fat-to-write-a-check/227203/25 "2004-02-03T12:01:58Z")
I just burned 200 calories giggling. ---
**Author:** ![mischievous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@mischievous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mischievous)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2004, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-your-fingers-are-too-fat-to-write-a-check/227203/26 "2004-02-03T12:43:36Z")
For a grand total of 400 calories, of course. ---
**Author:** ![lucwarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e19adc/32.png) [@lucwarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lucwarm)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2004, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-your-fingers-are-too-fat-to-write-a-check/227203/27 "2004-02-03T13:27:29Z")
As a professional debt collector, let me offer a few pieces of advice: (1) Your complaint is as old as the hills. 75% of people will default in their obligations if they think they can get away with it. Doesn’t make it any less annoying though. (2) Dunning works wonders. If you call people enough, they’ll eventually fold if they actually have the money. When you sign somebody up for something, get their work number; home number; and cellphone number. Get as many phone numbers as you can. (3) When people sign up for stuff, have them list a reference or emergency contact. If people start ducking, start calling the emergency contact. Nobody wants somebody pestering their mom/best friend/spouse. (4) The most effective strategy is to insist on cash up front. (5) Accept that most people are flaky. I can’t count the number of people who have looked me straight in the eye, said “of course I’ll pay” and later tried to duck. * * * Not 15 minutes ago, I was on the phone with a lady who insisted that she’d mailed me a check that I should receive in “3 or 4 days.” Of course it’s a freaking lie. But I have her (unlisted) home phone number and her husband’s number at work. Based on my experience, I would say there’s an 85% chance she’ll fold within the next week or two. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2004, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-your-fingers-are-too-fat-to-write-a-check/227203/28 "2004-02-03T15:39:04Z")
I have the feeling the woman who organized this is a spineless weenie who will never collect the rest of the money. When I suggested she go directly to the defaulters’ offices and bitch-slap them up and down the hallway till they cried like little girls, she neglected to do so. I will be more than happy to do so—hell, I’ll go to their houses and bitch-slap their families, too, just to make them cry. ---
**Author:** ![Ilsa\_Lund](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a6a055/32.png) [@Ilsa\_Lund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ilsa_Lund)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2004, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-your-fingers-are-too-fat-to-write-a-check/227203/29 "2004-02-03T15:51:48Z")
Woah, calm down! Have a donut! 😃 (Note to self: do NOT piss **Eve** off) ---
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2004, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-your-fingers-are-too-fat-to-write-a-check/227203/30 "2004-02-03T17:25:07Z")
I know I’m probably being annoying, but I just want to set the record straight. If the spineless weenie doesn’t get the rest of the money together and the WW meeting thing doesn’t happen, **Eve** will not be out any money. She will get her $156 back. If WW doesn’t send someone out, they won’t take the money. Whether or not the spineless weenie gives the check back, well, that’s another issue! 😉 It just sounded like some of you thought that WW would take the money and run. They would not. All right, I’ll leave you alone now. ---
**Author:** ![AngelicGemma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@AngelicGemma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelicGemma)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2004, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-your-fingers-are-too-fat-to-write-a-check/227203/31 "2004-02-03T18:23:01Z")
> [@Eve](#): > > I will be more than happy to do so—hell, I’ll go to their houses and bitch-slap their families, too, just to make them cry. To make the money back you’ve spent on Weight Watchers you should film this and charge people to watch. I know _I’d_ want to watch. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2004, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-your-fingers-are-too-fat-to-write-a-check/227203/32 "2004-02-03T18:34:33Z")
> [@Eve](#): > > I will be more than happy to do so—hell, I’ll go to their houses and bitch-slap their families, too, just to make them cry. This actually sounds like a fairly effective weight-loss strategy… ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2004, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-your-fingers-are-too-fat-to-write-a-check/227203/33 "2004-02-03T18:40:48Z")
Well, **Eve** , you know what good exercise bitch-slapping entire families can be. If done properly, it really gets the heart rate up. I bet you could lose up to five pounds a week, if you bitch-slapped these folks on a regular basis. ---
**Author:** ![Aries28](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e36b37/32.png) [@Aries28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aries28)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2004, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-your-fingers-are-too-fat-to-write-a-check/227203/34 "2004-02-03T19:07:17Z")
What if we all provide a list of people who just need a good bitch-slap? You could get TONS of exercise traveling around bitch-slapping people who need it. I don’t see the downside here. Seems like a win-win to me. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-your-fingers-are-too-fat-to-write-a-check/227203.md?page=1)