# So you're a skeptic who just accidentally killed a sasquatch **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 18, 2013, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-a-skeptic-who-just-accidentally-killed-a-sasquatch/663852 "2013-07-18T15:37:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![drastic\_quench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e36b37/32.png) [@drastic\_quench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drastic_quench)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2013, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-a-skeptic-who-just-accidentally-killed-a-sasquatch/663852/1 "2013-07-18T15:37:04Z")
You’re driving through the rain in the Pacific Northwest, and you run over a sasquatch. You stop, get out, and verify it’s dead, and it’s real. Not a bear, known ape, or guy in a suit. Your truck is still running and somehow not totalled. What now? Call the cops? Call the press? Load the carcass, and drive it to the nearest university biology department? ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2013, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-a-skeptic-who-just-accidentally-killed-a-sasquatch/663852/2 "2013-07-18T15:51:49Z")
Load it in the truck and take it to a research institution of some kind. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2013, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-a-skeptic-who-just-accidentally-killed-a-sasquatch/663852/3 "2013-07-18T16:01:07Z")
Probably call 911. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2013, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-a-skeptic-who-just-accidentally-killed-a-sasquatch/663852/4 "2013-07-18T16:05:35Z")
I’m getting the hell out of there. Its mate is bound to be _pissed_. ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2013, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-a-skeptic-who-just-accidentally-killed-a-sasquatch/663852/5 "2013-07-18T16:07:10Z")
I’d bury it quickly, so no one could find out the truth. In same grave site as I buried the unicorn, the Loch Ness Monster, and Tinker Bell. ---
**Author:** ![Diceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Diceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diceman)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2013, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-a-skeptic-who-just-accidentally-killed-a-sasquatch/663852/6 "2013-07-18T16:14:14Z")
Call 911, to get the cops out there as witnesses. Once they have an 8-foot-tall sasquatch on the local coroner’s slab, the publicity will take care of itself. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2013, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-a-skeptic-who-just-accidentally-killed-a-sasquatch/663852/7 "2013-07-18T16:42:46Z")
Sell it for Asian medicine. Ground up Big Foot should sell at good prices for fertility, and baldness. ---
**Author:** ![straight\_man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/straight_man/32/3027_2.png) [@straight\_man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/straight_man)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2013, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-a-skeptic-who-just-accidentally-killed-a-sasquatch/663852/8 "2013-07-18T17:35:44Z")
Need answer fast? ---
**Author:** ![drastic\_quench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e36b37/32.png) [@drastic\_quench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drastic_quench)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2013, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-a-skeptic-who-just-accidentally-killed-a-sasquatch/663852/9 "2013-07-18T17:37:44Z")
Even as a skeptic, I would be afraid of it being taken away by top men. Who? Top. Men. I suppose is stash some samples, like a finger, and take the whole beast it to a biology department, and see if I couldn’t get the press there as well. I don’t want to see it disappeared. Hell, I want to name it after myself. Sasquatchicus Quenchicus Ford F150us or something. ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2013, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-a-skeptic-who-just-accidentally-killed-a-sasquatch/663852/10 "2013-07-18T17:41:46Z")
I’d figure that no matter what I do, fate is going to ensure that the whole thing is dismissed, and I’m forever that crank that tried to hoax everybody. I mean, that’s what’s happened to everybody else who’s encountered a 'squatch. So I’d make the perfunctory effort - call 911, take pictures, save some hair for DNA testing, but I’d spend a lot of time resigning myself to being derided by people like me. ---
**Author:** ![johnpost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f17d59/32.png) [@johnpost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnpost)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2013, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-a-skeptic-who-just-accidentally-killed-a-sasquatch/663852/11 "2013-07-18T17:45:47Z")
call your local FOX tv affiliate. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2013, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-a-skeptic-who-just-accidentally-killed-a-sasquatch/663852/12 "2013-07-18T17:48:07Z")
> [@Musicat](#): > > I’d bury it quickly, so no one could find out the truth. In same grave site as I buried the unicorn, the Loch Ness Monster, and Tinker Bell. That’s what I did. Right next to the Yeti, the Chupacabra, and the Bunyip. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2013, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-a-skeptic-who-just-accidentally-killed-a-sasquatch/663852/13 "2013-07-18T17:49:06Z")
> [@drastic\_quench](#): > > I suppose is stash some samples, like a finger. Finger, shminger. Take a _foot_. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2013, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-a-skeptic-who-just-accidentally-killed-a-sasquatch/663852/14 "2013-07-18T17:51:44Z")
Call JREF and say, “How would you like to scoop all the woosters out there and also prove that you’re not just a bunch of nay-sayers?” ---
**Author:** ![42fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/4/b487fb/32.png) [@42fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/42fish)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2013, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-a-skeptic-who-just-accidentally-killed-a-sasquatch/663852/15 "2013-07-18T18:07:36Z")
> [@drastic\_quench](#): > > You’re driving through the rain in the Pacific Northwest, and you run over a sasquatch. You stop, get out, and verify it’s dead, and it’s real. Not a bear, known ape, or guy in a suit. Your truck is still running and somehow not totalled. What now? Call the cops? Call the press? Load the carcass, and drive it to the nearest university biology department? Call the cops/9-1-1, if only on the chance that it’s really a guy in a suit that’s so well designed that I couldn’t find where the stupid zipper was hidden. ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2013, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-a-skeptic-who-just-accidentally-killed-a-sasquatch/663852/16 "2013-07-18T18:14:26Z")
Youtube video first! ---
**Author:** ![Red\_Wiggler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/red_wiggler/32/13190_2.png) [@Red\_Wiggler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Red_Wiggler)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2013, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-a-skeptic-who-just-accidentally-killed-a-sasquatch/663852/17 "2013-07-18T18:37:09Z")
> [@johnpost](#): > > call your local FOX tv affiliate. And every other local tv station. And the local newspapers. Don’t let the Men in Black get there first. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2013, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-a-skeptic-who-just-accidentally-killed-a-sasquatch/663852/18 "2013-07-18T19:23:48Z")
I saw this happen once in a certain area we won’t mention. A couple guys hit and killed a Sasquatch while drinking and mudding up north. They get out and the burly driver says Well bugger, did I do that? The little guy says I don’t know but I’d like a turn. ---
**Author:** ![UncleRojelio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unclerojelio/32/3160_2.png) [@UncleRojelio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleRojelio)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2013, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-a-skeptic-who-just-accidentally-killed-a-sasquatch/663852/19 "2013-07-18T19:27:13Z")
Call the game warden and make it his problem. ---
**Author:** ![GargoyleWB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gargoylewb/32/199_2.png) [@GargoyleWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GargoyleWB)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2013, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-a-skeptic-who-just-accidentally-killed-a-sasquatch/663852/20 "2013-07-18T19:36:19Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > Finger, shminger. Take a _foot_. Laughing in tears to myself at the thought of drastic\_quench proudly strutting into a ranger’s office, slapping a finger onto the desk, and shouting “I have found Bigfoot!..and, um…shit, I’ll be back in 10 minutes.” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-a-skeptic-who-just-accidentally-killed-a-sasquatch/663852.md?page=2)