# So you're a skeptic who just accidentally killed a sasquatch **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 18, 2013, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-a-skeptic-who-just-accidentally-killed-a-sasquatch/663852 "2013-07-18T15:37:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2013, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-a-skeptic-who-just-accidentally-killed-a-sasquatch/663852/21 "2013-07-18T20:25:40Z")
Root through his wallet for cash. He fuckin’ wrecked my truck! ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2013, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-a-skeptic-who-just-accidentally-killed-a-sasquatch/663852/22 "2013-07-18T20:36:49Z")
Steal the beef jerky and make a run for it. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2013, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-a-skeptic-who-just-accidentally-killed-a-sasquatch/663852/23 "2013-07-18T21:18:48Z")
> [@Harmonious\_Discord](#): > > I saw this happen once in a certain area we won’t mention. A couple guys hit and killed a Sasquatch while drinking and mudding up north. They get out and the burly driver says Well bugger, did I do that? The little guy says I don’t know but I’d like a turn. The burly man goes that’s why they call you dirty little bugger. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2013, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-a-skeptic-who-just-accidentally-killed-a-sasquatch/663852/24 "2013-07-18T22:02:37Z")
First, try to unzip the costume. Then, take it to the police and call the press and researchers. Perhaps the OP doesn’t understand what a skeptic is. A skeptic is someone who doesn’t accept something until there is good evidence for it. Once there is good evidence, all bets are off. Skeptics accept the oddities of quantum theory and relativity just fine, because there is evidence. ---
**Author:** ![snowthx](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowthx/32/10660_2.png) [@snowthx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snowthx)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2013, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-a-skeptic-who-just-accidentally-killed-a-sasquatch/663852/25 "2013-07-18T22:07:18Z")
> [@Projammer](#): > > Steal the beef jerky and make a run for it. +1 You cannot be sure it is really dead. I would just strap it to the roof of my station wagon under a tarp, and drive it back to my suburban home near Seattle. If it wakes up, maybe it could become a house pet named Harry, or something. ---
**Author:** ![Battle\_Pope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@Battle\_Pope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Battle_Pope)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2013, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-a-skeptic-who-just-accidentally-killed-a-sasquatch/663852/26 "2013-07-18T22:30:32Z")
See if there are any good recipies available. ---
**Author:** ![vontsira](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/51bf81/32.png) [@vontsira](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vontsira)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2013, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-a-skeptic-who-just-accidentally-killed-a-sasquatch/663852/27 "2013-07-18T22:50:22Z")
Some devout sasquatch / Bigfoot believers would say that you were delusional: their hairy friend is – the entire species – too intelligent / wary / elusive, ever to become roadkill. You must have run over something else… ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2013, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-a-skeptic-who-just-accidentally-killed-a-sasquatch/663852/28 "2013-07-18T22:53:07Z")
> [@snowthx](#): > > You cannot be sure it is really dead. I don’t know about the OP, but I’m not a doctor, and I was told only a doctor could pronounce someone dead. (And I think if a sasquatch really existed, he/she would count as a person.) Call 911 and say you hit somebody and they’re not breathing. (CPR on a sasquatch? Well, maybe the chest compressions only kind.) They’ll send someone ASAP, and then it’s their problem. ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2013, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-a-skeptic-who-just-accidentally-killed-a-sasquatch/663852/29 "2013-07-18T22:56:58Z")
A sasquatch would be 8 feet tall and probably weigh 800 pounds, picking it up and carrying it by yourself would not be easy. I would call the cops, and ask them to call the local university so they can take it, put it on ice and autopsy it. I doubt the zoology department would come just if you call, but if the cops call they might come. However how would laws apply? If a sasquatch exists, it is probably much closer genetically to humans than chimps, so I’m guessing something like 99.6% similar. So would you be in trouble for killing a pedestrian if you hit one? I wonder what happens if you shoot one in the wild, can you be brought up for murder? I am guessing no, but I have no idea. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2013, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-a-skeptic-who-just-accidentally-killed-a-sasquatch/663852/30 "2013-07-18T23:04:43Z")
I’d start looking around for Ashton Kutcher. ---
**Author:** ![drastic\_quench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e36b37/32.png) [@drastic\_quench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drastic_quench)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2013, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-a-skeptic-who-just-accidentally-killed-a-sasquatch/663852/31 "2013-07-18T23:22:18Z")
> [@Voyager](#): > > First, try to unzip the costume. > > Then, take it to the police and call the press and researchers. > Perhaps the OP doesn’t understand what a skeptic is. A skeptic is someone who doesn’t accept something until there is good evidence for it. Once there is good evidence, all bets are off. Skeptics accept the oddities of quantum theory and relativity just fine, because there is evidence. What makes you think I don’t know the definition of a skeptic? My point is phrasing it that way was to paint the picture that (for the hypothetical) you’re a sensible person who rightfully does not believe in Bigfoot owing to the lack of evidence. ---
**Author:** ![rsat3acr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a3d4f5/32.png) [@rsat3acr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rsat3acr)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2013, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-a-skeptic-who-just-accidentally-killed-a-sasquatch/663852/32 "2013-07-18T23:26:18Z")
call my auto insurance company ---
**Author:** ![OldGuy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/3bc359/32.png) [@OldGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OldGuy)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2013, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-a-skeptic-who-just-accidentally-killed-a-sasquatch/663852/33 "2013-07-18T23:32:23Z")
> [@Wesley\_Clark](#): > > I wonder what happens if you shoot one in the wild, can you be brought up for murder? I am guessing no, but I have no idea. Did you hit it in FL? Was it standing its ground? ---
**Author:** ![Fluffy\_PickleSniffer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/77aa72/32.png) [@Fluffy\_PickleSniffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fluffy_PickleSniffer)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2013, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-a-skeptic-who-just-accidentally-killed-a-sasquatch/663852/34 "2013-07-19T00:26:23Z")
> [@drastic\_quench](#): > > Even as a skeptic, I would be afraid of it being taken away by top men. Who? Top. Men. > > I suppose is stash some samples, like a finger, and take the whole beast it to a biology department, and see if I couldn’t get the press there as well. I don’t want to see it disappeared. Hell, I want to name it after myself. Sasquatchicus Quenchicus Ford F150us or something. What? You mean you didn’t have a dashcam running at the time of the hit? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![74westy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/74westy/32/3950_2.png) [@74westy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/74westy)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2013, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-a-skeptic-who-just-accidentally-killed-a-sasquatch/663852/35 "2013-07-19T01:02:26Z")
I’d put my sunglasses and jacket on it and take a picture. ---
**Author:** ![InternetLegend](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/internetlegend/32/13154_2.png) [@InternetLegend](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/InternetLegend)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2013, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-a-skeptic-who-just-accidentally-killed-a-sasquatch/663852/36 "2013-07-19T01:17:15Z")
I’d call 911. And I’d get my camera out, make sure the flash was on, and take the first-ever well-lit, focused, close-up pictures of a sasquatch. If I were inclined to be paranoid about someone covering it up (which I’m not), I’d email the pictures to myself/a news outlet in case the camera was confiscated or the pictures deleted. But really, if I hit and kill any creature of that size, I’m calling the authorities. Hell, if I hit a bear, I’d call Game and Fish. ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2013, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-a-skeptic-who-just-accidentally-killed-a-sasquatch/663852/37 "2013-07-19T02:54:58Z")
> [@Wesley\_Clark](#): > > A sasquatch would be 8 feet tall and probably weigh 800 pounds, picking it up and carrying it by yourself would not be easy. Couldn’t be 800 lbs. Assuming a fit, muscular 6-ft guy would be 200 lbs, something 20% taller would not be four times heavier. Maybe 300 lbs? Hitting a sasquatch without totaling your car would mean that you would have clipped it on the side or something. When deer get hit, the cars get seriously damaged and the deer aren’t that big. Assuming it is a real never-before discovered sasquatch, What laws are relevant here? I presume they aren’t treated as humans under the law. Can you legally claim possession? Sell it to the highest bidder? ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2013, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-a-skeptic-who-just-accidentally-killed-a-sasquatch/663852/38 "2013-07-19T03:10:17Z")
> [@TokyoBayer](#): > > Couldn’t be 800 lbs. Assuming a fit, muscular 6-ft guy would be 200 lbs, something 20% taller would not be four times heavier. Maybe 300 lbs? 7 foot tall basketball players can easily reach 300 lbs. A really big guy like Shaq goes 350. Easily 400 lbs for a Sasquatch using foot size as to estimate general build. 350 lbs if they have light build. At 300 lbs. they’re starving to death. However 800 lbs is unrealistic unless they have the large torso of a bear as opposed to the long legged human like build as they are portrayed. So very likely that Sasquatch will turn out to be 8 feet tall, weight 800 pounds, and be a bear. ---
**Author:** ![3trew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/13edae/32.png) [@3trew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/3trew)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2013, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-a-skeptic-who-just-accidentally-killed-a-sasquatch/663852/39 "2013-07-19T03:29:49Z")
Strongman competitors routinely run about 6’4 and 340, Andre the Giant was (as far as you can tell from the kind of stats you get in professional wrestling) probably 7’4 and 475. Robert Pershing Wadlow was 8’11 and 439, but looking at the width of his head compared to his shoulders he wasn’t a particularly muscular dude. I’d be willing to bet that a Sasquatch in the 8 foot range would be north of 500 lbs, given it has to have the muscle to function in the wild, but 800 seems a stretch. That said, there’s a small list of people who could get a 400 lb chunk of dead critter into their pickup bed by themselves. ---
**Author:** ![Zyanthia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Zyanthia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zyanthia)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2013, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-a-skeptic-who-just-accidentally-killed-a-sasquatch/663852/40 "2013-07-19T12:15:57Z")
Many ya’ll are so lucky! A unicorn, the Loch Ness Monster, Tinker Bell, a Yeti, the Chupacabra, and the Bunyip. The one I ran over, I only got to bury next to Jimmy Hoffa. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-a-skeptic-who-just-accidentally-killed-a-sasquatch/663852.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-a-skeptic-who-just-accidentally-killed-a-sasquatch/663852.md?page=3)