# So, You're God... **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 10, 2006, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-god/356266 "2006-05-10T20:20:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Giles](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giles/32/60_2.png) [@Giles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giles)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2006, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-god/356266/21 "2006-05-10T21:32:14Z")
[QUOTE=Ponder Stibbons] Well, I’d imagine that’s why you only get one message. See, we know God exists because we have no proof that He exists. But after letting everyone on earth know You exist via a bona fide miracle, You’d disappear in a puff of logic. [/QUOTE] The worry, of course, is that it would all; be rationalised by a lot of theists. So, some would say that I wasn’t the real God, but that their Jehovah/Christ/Allah was. Others would say that I was just testing their faith. But at least for the Buddhists it would just be one more cosmic paradox. (If I did take up a religion, it would have to be some highly refined and abstract kind of Buddhism). ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2006, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-god/356266/22 "2006-05-10T21:33:16Z")
“Be excellent to one another!” ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Clam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3bc359/32.png) [@Happy\_Clam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Clam)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2006, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-god/356266/23 "2006-05-10T21:36:49Z")
> [@](#): > > “Be excellent to one another!” No, no, no. “Be _totally_ excellent to one another!” ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2006, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-god/356266/24 "2006-05-10T21:38:13Z")
**Giles** : Aw, too bad. I kind of like the idea of disappearing in a puff of logic. [QUOTE=Hampshire] “Be excellent to one another!” [/QUOTE] Duuuuuude!! ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2006, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-god/356266/25 "2006-05-10T21:46:52Z")
“Quit fighting over religion and your interpretations of it, because there is no afterlife this will effect. One life here is all you are given, so make it count for all you, and others, need.” ---
**Author:** ![Danalan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/76d3ee/32.png) [@Danalan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Danalan)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2006, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-god/356266/26 "2006-05-10T21:48:03Z")
[QUOTE=Hampshire] “Be excellent to one another!” [/QUOTE] “And Party on, Dudes!” ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2006, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-god/356266/27 "2006-05-10T22:05:42Z")
“The only way into heaven is to give all your money to **Winston Smith**. Beer is also acceptable depending upon financial status.” ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Clam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3bc359/32.png) [@Happy\_Clam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Clam)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2006, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-god/356266/28 "2006-05-10T22:22:23Z")
Now consider what would happen if all of these messages appeared, one after the other… Give your money to me! No, me! No, me! ---
**Author:** ![Boulter\_s\_Canary](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e79b87/32.png) [@Boulter\_s\_Canary](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boulter_s_Canary)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2006, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-god/356266/29 "2006-05-10T22:22:57Z")
Look here, you morons. What part of \*\*‘thou shalt not kill’ \*\* don’t you understand? ---
**Author:** ![HubZilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ccd318/32.png) [@HubZilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HubZilla)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2006, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-god/356266/30 "2006-05-10T22:28:41Z")
Inspired by the 9/11 Onion: “God angrily clarifies ‘Don’t Kill’ rule” ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2006, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-god/356266/31 "2006-05-10T22:43:30Z")
“All assholes, jackasses, terrorists, and perverts must kill themselves. _Now._” 😃 Either that, or something like “Von Braun, Zubrin, and Rutan are the chosen ones. Slip the surly bonds of Earth and take humanity to the stars.” ---
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2006, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-god/356266/32 "2006-05-10T22:43:47Z")
I’d just burp the ABC’s in whatever language was appropriate for the message-ee… Let 'em chew on that for a couple of millenia!! ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2006, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-god/356266/33 "2006-05-10T22:55:40Z")
If I were God, I’d say the same thing I’d like to put on a bumper sticker: “My Dog Is A Libertarian.” …then world peace ensues when everyone is trying to puzzle out what it could possibly mean. ---
**Author:** ![Tinkertoy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f19dbf/32.png) [@Tinkertoy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tinkertoy)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2006, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-god/356266/34 "2006-05-10T23:06:54Z")
Stop killing each other, that’s my job. ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2006, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-god/356266/35 "2006-05-10T23:56:02Z")
“All your base are belong to us.” ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2006, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-god/356266/36 "2006-05-11T00:05:41Z")
“psyche!” ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2006, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-god/356266/37 "2006-05-11T00:35:33Z")
“From now on, my name is **-Gry**.” or “Yes, the plane would still take off.” or “I hope Cecil answers my email.” ---
**Author:** ![Nic2004](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/4491bb/32.png) [@Nic2004](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nic2004)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2006, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-god/356266/38 "2006-05-11T01:40:44Z")
**BZZZT!** No, I’m sorry but “What is genocide and TV Evangelism” is not he correct answer. But hey, thanks for playing. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2006, 8:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-god/356266/39 "2006-05-11T08:25:58Z")
“I can’t take it anymore ! I’m destroying Heaven and Hell, then killing Myself ! Goodbye cruel cosmos . . . URK ! ! !” ---
**Author:** ![some\_white\_dude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b487fb/32.png) [@some\_white\_dude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/some_white_dude)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2006, 9:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-god/356266/40 "2006-05-11T09:17:15Z")
[QUOTE=God] W-W-W-dot-G-O-A-T-S-E-dot-C-X [/QUOTE] You know, just to get the ones that haven’t seen it yet. Is that domain even up yet anymore? I’m too scared to check. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-god/356266.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-god/356266.md?page=3)