# So You're Offered Your Weight In Gold... **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 8, 2010, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-offered-your-weight-in-gold/545964 "2010-07-08T15:24:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2010, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-offered-your-weight-in-gold/545964/1 "2010-07-08T15:24:09Z")
Your rich, crazy great-uncle Loopy finally kicks off, and it’s your turn to hear what sort of scheme he has for your inheritance. The lawyer informs you that one year from this date, you will step on an accurately-calibrated scale (naked – no filling your pockets with rocks!) and be given your weight in gold. You can do with it what you will, but keep in mind that selling it would be at the price one year from now (at the moment it’s roughly $1,200/oz., or $19,200/lb.) – let’s hope it doesn’t drop too much in the next year. I’d currently pull in $3,360,000 – not a bad payday at all, but I think I’d be a bit greedy. I figure I’ll be able to afford some pretty damn good nutritionists and weight trainers, so if these folks can help me bulk up to 220 in a healthyish fashion, then that would put me at $4,224,000. The costs for paying off that help won’t come near to the extra $864,000 it’d gain me, so it would basically be a matter of getting paid to get in shape. So, what’s your plan? Do you gorge on weight-gain shakes and potatoes for every meal? Do you figure that even at your current weight, that’s going to be a lot of money so why bother with the health risks? Of course, one pound of gold at today’s price would pay for a good liposuction job. How are you going to take advantage of 'ol Loopy’s eccentricities? ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2010, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-offered-your-weight-in-gold/545964/2 "2010-07-08T15:32:52Z")
Well, I just lost 70 pounds over the last year and change, and I don’t plan to do that again. I’ll take my $2.8 million and be quite happy. ---
**Author:** ![Mooch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mooch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mooch)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2010, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-offered-your-weight-in-gold/545964/3 "2010-07-08T15:34:47Z")
I’m in pretty good shape now and fairly happy with myself - I would stay the same size. Perhaps I’d drink a shitload of water that morning. 3 million and change is pretty good cheddar as is. ---
**Author:** ![Agent\_Foxtrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc29f/32.png) [@Agent\_Foxtrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agent_Foxtrot)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2010, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-offered-your-weight-in-gold/545964/4 "2010-07-08T15:35:00Z")
Great thread idea. I’d probably bring my self up to a 250 lb. limit. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2010, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-offered-your-weight-in-gold/545964/5 "2010-07-08T15:42:49Z")
Aw man, finally being fat will PAY off!!! If I lost 40 lbs in the next year I’d be stoked, and I’d also be stoked to get me - 40 in gold. That’s still a lot of gold. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2010, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-offered-your-weight-in-gold/545964/6 "2010-07-08T15:46:53Z")
I’m with **Scarlett**. My weight loss is going quite nicely, and there is no need to get greedy. Even at my “ideal” weight I’ll still get better than $3 million at today’s prices. Even if gold collapses, I’ll still get at least $1.5 mil, so why worry about my weight? If I did get greedy, then I’d spend the year at the gym every waking minute, trying to replace fat with muscle. ---
**Author:** ![pbbth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f9ae1b/32.png) [@pbbth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pbbth)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2010, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-offered-your-weight-in-gold/545964/7 "2010-07-08T15:49:11Z")
> [@ZipperJJ](#): > > Aw man, finally being fat will PAY off!!! > > If I lost 40 lbs in the next year I’d be stoked, and I’d also be stoked to get me - 40 in gold. That’s still a lot of gold. Yeah, even if I lost 40 or 50 lbs that would still be an awesome amount of gold. I’d probably work towards being a bit healthier (no sense in gorging and having a heart attack so I can’t enjoy my gold next year!) but not aim towards any type of weight loss. Then in 366 days I will find the finest personal trainer and work towards losing weight now that I don’t need to spend most of my day at work anymore. ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2010, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-offered-your-weight-in-gold/545964/8 "2010-07-08T15:52:41Z")
> [@pbbth](#): > > Yeah, even if I lost 40 or 50 lbs that would still be an awesome amount of gold. I’d probably work towards being a bit healthier (no sense in gorging and having a heart attack so I can’t enjoy my gold next year!) but not aim towards any type of weight loss. Then in 366 days I will find the finest personal trainer and work towards losing weight now that I don’t need to spend most of my day at work anymore. I’m in this exact same boat. I certainly don’t have any need or desire to bulk up, and at my current weight, I’ll be plenty rich. And I sure as hell am not about to start spending a lot of money in anticipation of receiving money in the future. ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2010, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-offered-your-weight-in-gold/545964/9 "2010-07-08T16:01:01Z")
What’s the easiest way to gain a bunch of water weight leading up to the weigh-in (other than drinking a bunch of water)? High in salt foods for a few months? ---
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2010, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-offered-your-weight-in-gold/545964/10 "2010-07-08T16:29:44Z")
> [@Munch](#): > > What’s the easiest way to gain a bunch of water weight leading up to the weigh-in (other than drinking a bunch of water)? High in salt foods for a few months? In the early 2000’s Jerry Lewis was taking Prednisone and swelled up like a balloon. [Before/after shot here.](http://www.televisioninternet.com/news/pictures/jerry-lewis-health.jpg) His head looked like a carrying case for a normal-sized head. According to Mr. Lewis: > [@Jerry Lewis](#): > > “It helps your lungs, but it kills you everywhere else. Puts on 50 lbs in the first four weeks.” ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2010, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-offered-your-weight-in-gold/545964/11 "2010-07-08T16:33:03Z")
I’m big enough that even if I do not gain an ounce over the next year, we’re still talking about “Kiss My Ass” money. So, I won’t be making any major changes to my current lifestyle. Of course, with my luck, I’ll get a rare, non-fatal wasting disease that will drop me down to about 98 pounds by weigh in time. Still, 98 pounds of gold isn’t bad. It’s enough to retire on, with careful management… ---
**Author:** ![asterion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4da419/32.png) [@asterion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asterion)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2010, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-offered-your-weight-in-gold/545964/12 "2010-07-08T16:43:16Z")
I don’t think the OP took into account the conversion between avoirdupois pounds and troy pounds. So at $1,200 a troy ounce, a 170-lb man will not receive $3.264 million but only around $2.975 million. All values in this thread should probably be adjusted by a reduction of approximately 10 percent. ---
**Author:** ![Gagundathar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a183cd/32.png) [@Gagundathar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gagundathar)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2010, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-offered-your-weight-in-gold/545964/13 "2010-07-08T16:48:10Z")
Prednisone is an amazingly powerful drug. The moonface is a common side-effect, but it does save lives. I wouldn’t suggest using it to temporarily gain weight because it can cause permanent organ damage (to the liver and kidneys especially). Instead, I suggest that we follow the regime set out for the ‘mighty sailing man’ in this documentary: [WarnerBros.com | Home of WB Movies, TV, Games, and more!](http://www.thewb.com/shows/gilligans-island/physical-fatness/23670335-0894-404a-bf10-6b0f08c64cfc) ---
**Author:** ![Fretful\_Porpentine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fretful_porpentine/32/2873_2.png) [@Fretful\_Porpentine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fretful_Porpentine)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2010, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-offered-your-weight-in-gold/545964/14 "2010-07-08T16:50:49Z")
Get pregnant, lack-of-relationship be damned. (N.B., of course I wouldn’t even consider this if I didn’t _want_ a kid, but given the stated conditions and my current age and circumstances, this seems like it actually wouldn’t be a bad idea.) ---
**Author:** ![Rhythmdvl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85f322/32.png) [@Rhythmdvl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhythmdvl)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2010, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-offered-your-weight-in-gold/545964/15 "2010-07-08T16:57:54Z")
Weight Gain 4000! BEEFCAKE~ ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2010, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-offered-your-weight-in-gold/545964/16 "2010-07-08T17:02:12Z")
> [@asterion](#): > > I don’t think the OP took into account the conversion between avoirdupois pounds and troy pounds. So at $1,200 a troy ounce, a 170-lb man will not receive $3.264 million but only around $2.975 million. All values in this thread should probably be adjusted by a reduction of approximately 10 percent. Quite right – I didn’t. Thanks for catching that. > [@Fretful\_Porpentine](#): > > Get pregnant, lack-of-relationship be damned. Oooo, nice one…damn my lack of a uterus! ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2010, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-offered-your-weight-in-gold/545964/17 "2010-07-08T17:05:41Z")
I think I’d be good with $3 million. No weight gain necessary. ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2010, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-offered-your-weight-in-gold/545964/18 "2010-07-08T17:13:40Z")
> [@Rhythmdvl](#): > > Weight Gain 4000! > BEEFCAKE~ Winner. ---
**Author:** ![Wheelz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wheelz/32/5718_2.png) [@Wheelz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wheelz)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2010, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-offered-your-weight-in-gold/545964/19 "2010-07-08T17:17:56Z")
I’m currently in line for about 4.8 million – not too shabby. But I wouldn’t need to work very hard at all – just fall back into some old bad habits – to add close to another million to that total. Eating anything I want and being lazy for a year would not amount to a big sacrifice as far as I’m concerned. I’ll take the gamble that I won’t drop dead in the interim; after I have the money, I can surely afford the help it’ll take to get and stay fit. ---
**Author:** ![Roland\_Orzabal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c2a13f/32.png) [@Roland\_Orzabal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roland_Orzabal)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2010, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-offered-your-weight-in-gold/545964/20 "2010-07-08T17:22:53Z")
Yeah, no, four mil is good. The most I might do differently is chug a half-gallon of supersaturated sugar water immediately prior to the weighing, assuming I could find a place to pee shortly afterward. (If not, I suppose I’d just pee wherever I happened to be, 'cause hey, I’d have four million dollars.) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youre-offered-your-weight-in-gold/545964.md?page=2)