# So you've just been given three wishes.... **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 12, 2005, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youve-just-been-given-three-wishes/321257 "2005-09-12T15:50:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![soulmurk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b782af/32.png) [@soulmurk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/soulmurk)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youve-just-been-given-three-wishes/321257/21 "2005-09-13T03:44:12Z")
My standard answer is the same as it is for the “What super power would you want if you could have it?” Flying would be very very cool, there is no denying that. As would super strength or speed or elasticity. Invisibility would be also be very very cool, mostly because I’m just a big kid and I don’t think I’d ever get bored of women’s locker rooms. But my choice would have to be telepathy. I don’t mean wimpy read surface thoughts telepathy, I mean Professor X level mental domination. Implant false memories/images, speak to people across the globe, delve into the maze of someone’s mind. Would I use it for good, or for evil? Who knows? Number two I guess would be the abillity to fly, just because that’s got to be the most amazing feeling. You can keep number 3, I can get anything I could ever want with the first two. ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youve-just-been-given-three-wishes/321257/22 "2005-09-13T04:33:11Z")
> [@Feydeau](#): > > No, although I gather it’s a short story. Who’s the author? William Wyman Jacobs wrote [_The Monkey’s Paw_](http://etext.lib.virginia.edu/toc/modeng/public/JacMonk.html). ---
**Author:** ![Sengkelat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@Sengkelat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sengkelat)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youve-just-been-given-three-wishes/321257/23 "2005-09-13T05:04:02Z")
> [@MaxTheVool](#): > > Someone cleverly posited that the only real way to do this is to wish for happiness/success/power/world peace/whatever, with your first two wishes, and then use your third wish to wish to forget ever having made those wishes. Because if you wished for fame and power and success, but knew that they were just because of your wishes, you’d ultimately feel like a failure. By that logic, winning the lottery will make you feel like a failure. I don’t think that follows. I think I’d be perfectly fine with unlimited wealth; I’d never have to worry about where my next meal was coming from. But, there’s a chance that I’d just sit around posting on the Dope all day, so I’d also wish for healthy immortality, which would mean that I could waste any amount of time I chose and it wouldn’t matter. For a third wish, it might be good to wish for something non-selfish, but there are already a lot of good things I could do with my untold wealth. Mind control would certainly be useful, but I know I’d eventually become an evil monster, so that’s no good. Wishing for people to actually care about the environment would be nice, but if that got out of hand I might not be able to get a grilled rib eye anymore. Time travel would be handy, but could be dangerous to the timeline. Maybe I’d just wish to be able to know anything by concentrating on it. If nothing else, it’d allow me to figure out which women were worth asking to dance. ---
**Author:** ![sunstone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunstone/32/3372_2.png) [@sunstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sunstone)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youve-just-been-given-three-wishes/321257/24 "2005-09-13T05:13:58Z")
My three wishes would be: Good health for me and all those around me. End of war. Realization of the need for all of us to be better at conservation and lowering our consumption of resources. ---
**Author:** ![MaxTheVool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MaxTheVool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaxTheVool)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youve-just-been-given-three-wishes/321257/25 "2005-09-13T05:27:18Z")
> [@Sengkelat](#): > > By that logic, winning the lottery will make you feel like a failure. I don’t think that follows. > I think I’d be perfectly fine with unlimited wealth; I’d never have to worry about where my next meal was coming from. But, there’s a chance that I’d just sit around posting on the Dope all day, so I’d also wish for healthy immortality, which would mean that I could waste any amount of time I chose and it wouldn’t matter. > > For a third wish, it might be good to wish for something non-selfish, but there are already a lot of good things I could do with my untold wealth. Mind control would certainly be useful, but I know I’d eventually become an evil monster, so that’s no good. Wishing for people to actually care about the environment would be nice, but if that got out of hand I might not be able to get a grilled rib eye anymore. Time travel would be handy, but could be dangerous to the timeline. Maybe I’d just wish to be able to know anything by concentrating on it. If nothing else, it’d allow me to figure out which women were worth asking to dance. Except that if what you are wishing for wealth for is to be happy, you should just plain WISH to be happy. My wishes would be: (1) Great success, financially, professionaly, socially, interpersonally, healthwise and romantically for me and those I love, into perpituity (2) A continued increase in human peace, love and understanding, globally (3) To forget that I’d ever made these wishes ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youve-just-been-given-three-wishes/321257/26 "2005-09-13T05:42:24Z")
> [@Sengkelat](#): > > By that logic, winning the lottery will make you feel like a failure. I don’t think that follows. But you win the lottery by chance, you don’t make yourself do it. ---
**Author:** ![CynicalGabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youve-just-been-given-three-wishes/321257/27 "2005-09-13T05:42:44Z")
1. Peace on Earth Crap, that resulted in every living thing on Earth disappearing! 1. Reverse Wish #1 2. Wish (in a very explicitly worded document) to free the genie. [Ben Stein] Anyone, anyone?.[/Ben Stein] ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youve-just-been-given-three-wishes/321257/28 "2005-09-13T05:43:58Z")
> [@William V.](#): > > Your fairy godmother shows up with a wand (or it a big blue genie?) and gives you three wishes. You can’t wish for more wishes; otherwise, anything goes. I think mine would be: > > 1. The ability to fly (like Superman or Peter Pan) - I’ve always wanted to be able to do that. That’d be 'way cool. > > 2. The ability to control other people - Of course I would use this power for good and not evil. 😉 Think of what I could make Dubya say at press conferences! Think of how I could advance my career! Hell, I could walk through the county jail and tell everyone to insist on taking the stand and telling the truth at their trials… > > 3. Um. I think I’ll reserve one wish for later emergencies. > > And you? My first impulse would be to say, “Are you INSANE? Even _I_ don’t think I can be trusted with three wishes like that? For the love of all that’s good and pure, get away from me?” Then, a moment later: “So…I see you’re still here. Ah well. Kryptonian super-powers, plese. Oh, and immunity to kryptonite while you’re at it. And oh, yeah, obliterate yourself so you can’t interfere with my campaing of murder, rape, conqeust, rape, and tyranny.” ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youve-just-been-given-three-wishes/321257/29 "2005-09-13T05:52:04Z")
> [@Sengkelat](#): > > Mind control would certainly be useful, but I know I’d eventually become an evil monster, so that’s no good… How long is “eventually?” for me it would be perhaps maybe ten minutes Yep. 9 minutes, 59 seconds of do-gooding, and then, bam, I’m thinking, “you know, that alyson hanigan chick sure is purty…” No, I wouldn’t dare take it. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youve-just-been-given-three-wishes/321257/30 "2005-09-13T05:54:14Z")
Yeah… in addition to wishing for health and protection from danger for myself the people I care about, I’d need to create some kind of alternate world where I could go crazy with my powers without actually hurting anyone. ---
**Author:** ![Xixox](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/13edae/32.png) [@Xixox](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xixox)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youve-just-been-given-three-wishes/321257/31 "2005-09-13T05:58:00Z")
1. All benefits ever associated with vampires (immortality, super speed, mind reading / mind control, flight, cool fangs when I want 'em, shapeshifting ability, etc.) with none of the drawbacks (no problems with sunlight, mirrors, crosses, stakes, silver, coffins, etc.) I’m not even goth and that sounds like fun. 2. Ability to perform any spells ever attributed to wizards, witches, warlocks, necromancers, clerics, or any other spellcasters ever imagined. At will. With controlled precision. 3. A Coke. ---
**Author:** ![soulmurk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b782af/32.png) [@soulmurk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/soulmurk)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youve-just-been-given-three-wishes/321257/32 "2005-09-13T06:03:36Z")
> [@Fabulous Creature](#): > > Oh, and immunity to kryptonite while you’re at it. And oh, yeah, obliterate yourself so you can’t interfere with my campaing of murder, rape, conqeust, rape, and tyranny." In that order? 😉 > [@Xixox](#): > > 1. All benefits ever associated with vampires (immortality, super speed, mind reading / mind control, flight, cool fangs when I want 'em, shapeshifting ability, etc.) with none of the drawbacks (no problems with sunlight, mirrors, crosses, stakes, silver, coffins, etc.) I’m not even goth and that sounds like fun. > > 2. Ability to perform any spells ever attributed to wizards, witches, warlocks, necromancers, clerics, or any other spellcasters ever imagined. At will. With controlled precision. > > 3. A Coke. Immortality? Blech! How boooooooring that would get. Though the rest sounds like a really cool idea. Except, make mine a Dr. Pepper. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youve-just-been-given-three-wishes/321257/33 "2005-09-13T06:05:16Z")
> [@soulmurk](#): > > In that order? 😉 He likes rape. ---
**Author:** ![Xixox](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/13edae/32.png) [@Xixox](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xixox)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youve-just-been-given-three-wishes/321257/34 "2005-09-13T06:39:14Z")
> [@soulmurk](#): > > Immortality? Blech! How boooooooring that would get. Hence the magicks 😉 Just imagining the ways you could screw with people while they’re live on national television gives me gigglefits. Or on a slow news day, you could summon a huge asteroid to come in on a collision course with Earth, then have it U-Turn for no apparent reason just to mess with physicists and astronomers. Or take a casual stroll across the Dead Sea and watch what happens to the world’s religious structures. Then revert history so the event(s) never happened, and do them again to test chaos theory a couple dozen times. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 9:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youve-just-been-given-three-wishes/321257/35 "2005-09-13T09:18:22Z")
I just wish I knew what was going on, really. ---
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 9:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youve-just-been-given-three-wishes/321257/36 "2005-09-13T09:24:13Z")
> [@CynicalGabe](#): > > 1. Peace on Earth > > Crap, that resulted in every living thing on Earth disappearing! > > 1. Reverse Wish #1 > > 2. Wish (in a very explicitly worded document) to free the genie. > [Ben Stein] > Anyone, anyone?.[/Ben Stein] One of my favorite episodes of “The X-Files.” ---
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 9:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youve-just-been-given-three-wishes/321257/37 "2005-09-13T09:27:00Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > He likes rape. You know he’s truly evil because he didn’t bring enough gum for everyone. ---
**Author:** ![NinjaChick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@NinjaChick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinjaChick)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youve-just-been-given-three-wishes/321257/38 "2005-09-13T14:30:55Z")
1. Completely perfect health. No more knee problems, no more allergies, don’t need contacts any more, no more PMS, and best of all, not more freakin’ _migraines_ in the middle of class that make me want to shoot myself in the head, and eventually cause me to crawl into bed at 10pm, right after class, but not fall asleep until _four AM_. _cough_ Not that I didn’t have a great night or anything last night… 1. As much money as I need. I don’t know what set amount would be good, so I’ll take a magical, always-sufficient bank account. (No more student loans!) 2. One week during which all warring factions in the world set down their weapons, sit down, and talk it out. During that week, aid organizations get to do everything they’ve been trying to do in so many places (ie, give starving mothers food, provide medical care, etc.) ---
**Author:** ![CynicalGabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youve-just-been-given-three-wishes/321257/39 "2005-09-13T16:02:42Z")
> [@RandMcnally](#): > > One of my favorite episodes of “The X-Files.” Chipotles to **RandMcnally**! ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2005, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youve-just-been-given-three-wishes/321257/40 "2005-09-13T17:16:28Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > He likes rape. Thank you, Hedley. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youve-just-been-given-three-wishes/321257.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-youve-just-been-given-three-wishes/321257.md?page=3)