# Soccer is the smallpox blanket of socialism, sez Ann Coulter. Parody? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 26, 2014, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/soccer-is-the-smallpox-blanket-of-socialism-sez-ann-coulter-parody/691734 "2014-06-26T23:34:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2014, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/soccer-is-the-smallpox-blanket-of-socialism-sez-ann-coulter-parody/691734/21 "2014-06-27T14:23:18Z")
I typically hate Coulter as much as everyone else, but I have to admit some of that was pretty funny. " If Michael Jackson had treated his chronic insomnia with a tape of Argentina vs. Brazil instead of Propofol, he’d still be alive, although bored." " The number of New York Times articles claiming soccer is “catching on” is exceeded only by the ones pretending women’s basketball is fascinating." The only thing she left out was "If you heard a massive ‘scritch-scrith’ sound last Sunday that was the collective sound of millions of Americans scratching their heads thinking “A tie? There’s ties in soccer? WTF?” ---
**Author:** ![Flywheel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Flywheel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flywheel)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2014, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/soccer-is-the-smallpox-blanket-of-socialism-sez-ann-coulter-parody/691734/22 "2014-06-27T14:50:25Z")
Reminds me of a [John Tierney column](http://www.nytimes.com/2006/06/24/opinion/24tierney.html?_r=0) from two World Cups ago. ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2014, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/soccer-is-the-smallpox-blanket-of-socialism-sez-ann-coulter-parody/691734/23 "2014-06-27T17:30:43Z")
Maybe she just meant soccer _players_. That one guy who goes around biting dudes on the other team is definitely a vector for infectious diseases. ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2014, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/soccer-is-the-smallpox-blanket-of-socialism-sez-ann-coulter-parody/691734/24 "2014-06-27T18:12:03Z")
She is definitely _not_ trying to be funny. She is definitely trying to be rich. Hence she overdoes the outrage to sell her products to the easily outragable. ---
**Author:** ![Flywheel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Flywheel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flywheel)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2014, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/soccer-is-the-smallpox-blanket-of-socialism-sez-ann-coulter-parody/691734/25 "2014-06-27T18:20:06Z")
And now the [New Yorker](http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/shouts/2014/06/things-ann-coulter-said-while-watching-the-us-germany-soccer-game.html)’s getting in on the act… ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2014, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/soccer-is-the-smallpox-blanket-of-socialism-sez-ann-coulter-parody/691734/26 "2014-06-27T18:44:37Z")
> [@seal\_cleaner](#): > > I don’t think even _she_ agrees with her politics. I think it’s performance art - kinda like a less appealing Colbert. I was thinking more like [Ed Anger](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ed_Anger). ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2014, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/soccer-is-the-smallpox-blanket-of-socialism-sez-ann-coulter-parody/691734/27 "2014-06-27T18:48:37Z")
> [@stui\_magpie](#): > > ^ > > umm, nah. I’d take baseball over soccer but that’s not a recommendation. > > Cricket or Aussie Rules work for me. Tie me to the chair I could watch basketball or gridiron without struggling too much. Maybe even ice hockey. baseball is on the low end of the threshold but still better than soccer. > > Soccer is about level with synchronised swimming or curling or the world crochet championships. Maybe you just don’t understand curling. > [@Malacandra](#): > > I thought the point was that watching baseball _is_ sitting down with a beer and watching the grass grow. 😛 No, that’s cricket. I mean, there isn’t enough growth during a three-hour baseball game to appease most grass aficionados. Sure, sometimes you’re lucky and the game will go into extra innings, but even that won’t satisfy the true devotee. But a five-day cricket test match? Woohoo, that is some major grass-growing action right there, I tell you what! ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2014, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/soccer-is-the-smallpox-blanket-of-socialism-sez-ann-coulter-parody/691734/28 "2014-06-27T19:20:33Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > Maybe you just don’t understand curling. Curling is the act of bending the elbow, thus raising the hand toward the mouth and enabling a drink of beer to be consumed. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2014, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/soccer-is-the-smallpox-blanket-of-socialism-sez-ann-coulter-parody/691734/29 "2014-06-27T19:30:08Z")
> [@running\_coach](#): > > Curling is the act of bending the elbow, thus raising the hand toward the mouth and enabling a drink of beer to be consumed. Exactly right. We slide stones down a sheet of ice to help build up our arm muscles for when they’re needed. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2014, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/soccer-is-the-smallpox-blanket-of-socialism-sez-ann-coulter-parody/691734/30 "2014-06-27T19:37:45Z")
I’m surprised she actually said something positive about hockey – you’d think she’d criticize it, because you know, Canada=socialism. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2014, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/soccer-is-the-smallpox-blanket-of-socialism-sez-ann-coulter-parody/691734/31 "2014-06-27T19:45:15Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > I’m surprised she actually said something positive about hockey – you’d think she’d criticize it, because you know, Canada=socialism. She probably thinks it’s American cause that nice Gretsky boy played it. I know he’s Canadian. ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2014, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/soccer-is-the-smallpox-blanket-of-socialism-sez-ann-coulter-parody/691734/32 "2014-06-27T20:44:38Z")
That was actually articulate, intelligent, amusing and accurate. Ann Coulter would have had to hire a ghost writer to write that, and then forget to proof-read it… ---
**Author:** ![alphaboi867](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alphaboi867/32/3898_2.png) [@alphaboi867](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alphaboi867)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2014, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/soccer-is-the-smallpox-blanket-of-socialism-sez-ann-coulter-parody/691734/33 "2014-06-27T23:44:56Z")
Ann Coulter is still alive? 😉 > [@Thudlow\_Boink](#): > > I was thinking more like [Ed Anger](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ed_Anger). I miss Weekly World News. ☹ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/soccer-is-the-smallpox-blanket-of-socialism-sez-ann-coulter-parody/691734.md?page=1)