# Soccer ... \*YAWN\* **URL:** \ **Category:** The Game Room\ **Created:** [June 21, 2018, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/soccer-yawn/816505 "2018-06-21T13:38:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![AK84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85e7bf/32.png) [@AK84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AK84)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2018, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/soccer-yawn/816505/142 "2018-07-03T16:47:32Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > When do they break for tea? Incidentally, despite often being lampooned as “so English”, Tea break is a[ctually an Australian innovation](https://www.quora.com/What-do-players-eat-during-their-lunch-break-and-tea-break-in-a-test-game) and was initially reated with derision in England when the Aussies imported it there. As can be seen in the pictures in the link, the Poms are surely trolling the Aussies by bringing Tea Ladies onto the pitch.:eek: ---
**Author:** ![AK84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85e7bf/32.png) [@AK84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AK84)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2018, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/soccer-yawn/816505/143 "2018-07-03T16:54:19Z")
> [@Novelty\_Bobble](#): > > In a one-day game there may be a break in between the two innings that coincide with a late lunch or tea. For the full-fat five day test there are specific lunch and tea intervals around 12:30 - 13:00 and 16:00-ish, it can vary though. > > For the classic village game that many of us amateurs are used to, the interval is very important. The quality of the scones, sandwiches and cake is critical, almost as critical as getting a pint delivered to you as you field far out on the boundary. 🆒 True dat. Time for a sad story from mayhaps a decade hence. The village team I appeared for in Kent (I was bloody awful FWIW) had a long-standing rivalry with a neigbouring village. Traditionally the food was provided by the home team, which in this match was ours. One day before a match at our ground, we had some problem getting food there (I cannot recall why now), so the day of the match the opposition skipper calls us upo and says they’d be happy to provide the food, if we accepted a late addition to their squad, a client of his wife’s, an Indian gentleman in his early 60’s. He told us his name was Sunny. :eek:😃 :smack:😉 At least the food was excellent. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Dead\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9fc29f/32.png) [@Dead\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dead_Cat)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2018, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/soccer-yawn/816505/144 "2018-07-03T16:54:22Z")
To expand further on my esteemed colleagues’ excellent answers: > [@clairobscur](#): > > - So, once the batter has hit the ball, he’s going to run up and down as fast as he can Possibly - or he may decide even attempting one run is too risky, and just stand his ground, so he cannot be ‘run out’. This way he scores no runs, but waits for an opportunity next time. > [@](#): > > while the other team members try to retrieve the ball as quickly as possible Yes - the members of the other team, all 11 of whom are fielding. > [@](#): > > and give it back to the bowler (I assume he’s the only one allowed to “hit the stumps”?). How does the ball come back to the bowler? They thrown it to him? Bring it to him? As mentioned, anyone can hit the stumps by any method, but throwing the ball back is the most common way - usually to the wicketkeeper rather than the bowler, since the latter can catch a hard throw more easily by virtue of his gloves. > [@](#): > > -I’m unclear about the job of the wicketkeeper. Why would he want to catch the ball exactly and why does it matter? If there were no wicketkeeper, when the bowler bowled the ball and the batsman missed it (or just hit it very slightly with the edge of the bat), the ball would simply carry on, probably to the boundary behind the batsman (which would score 4 runs). So the main job of the wicketkeeper is as a backstop to prevent this happening. As mentioned, he can also get the batsman out in a couple of ways. ---
**Author:** ![Novelty\_Bobble](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Novelty\_Bobble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Novelty_Bobble)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2018, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/soccer-yawn/816505/145 "2018-07-03T18:54:42Z")
> [@AK84](#): > > 🆒 > True dat. > Time for a sad story from mayhaps a decade hence. The village team I appeared for in Kent (I was bloody awful FWIW) had a long-standing rivalry with a neigbouring village. Traditionally the food was provided by the home team, which in this match was ours. One day before a match at our ground, we had some problem getting food there (I cannot recall why now), so the day of the match the opposition skipper calls us upo and says they’d be happy to provide the food, if we accepted a late addition to their squad, a client of his wife’s, an Indian gentleman in his early 60’s. He told us his name was Sunny. > > :eek:😃 :smack:😉 > At least the food was excellent. ☹ wait, what…was it who is think it is? ---
**Author:** ![AK84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85e7bf/32.png) [@AK84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AK84)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2018, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/soccer-yawn/816505/146 "2018-07-03T18:59:03Z")
**sob** yup. We should have known. :mad: ---
**Author:** ![lisiate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f05b48/32.png) [@lisiate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lisiate)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2018, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/soccer-yawn/816505/147 "2018-07-03T18:59:09Z")
Please tell me you got his wicket. ---
**Author:** ![Novelty\_Bobble](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Novelty\_Bobble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Novelty_Bobble)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2018, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/soccer-yawn/816505/148 "2018-07-03T20:00:01Z")
> [@AK84](#): > > **sob** yup. > We should have known. :mad: I am just picturing your faces as he walks out! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![madsircool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madsircool/32/3432_2.png) [@madsircool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madsircool)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2018, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/soccer-yawn/816505/149 "2018-07-03T20:22:30Z")
I went to a footie thread and a cricket match broke out. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Teuton](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/teuton/32/3864_2.png) [@Teuton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Teuton)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2018, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/soccer-yawn/816505/150 "2018-07-03T21:08:34Z")
Well, India hammered England in the T20 this evening, so the attention might get back to the football… ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2018, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/soccer-yawn/816505/151 "2018-07-03T21:49:06Z")
> [@madsircool](#): > > I went to a footie thread and a cricket match broke out. 😛 Cricket’s taking over every thread. Nothing is safe! ---
**Author:** ![SanVito](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sanvito/32/2805_2.png) [@SanVito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanVito)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2018, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/soccer-yawn/816505/152 "2018-07-04T14:27:12Z")
> [@Atamasama](#): > > Cricket’s taking over every thread. Nothing is safe! How do you think we built an empire? ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2018, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/soccer-yawn/816505/153 "2018-07-04T19:48:21Z")
> [@Hampshire](#): > > I think soccer would be awesome to watch if they got rid of a bunch of the players. There’s just too many of them on the field. > If they brought it down to 6 per side like hockey (3 forwards, two defensemen, and a goalie) with that same size field it would make for some great action. Games with smaller teams do exist, but they’re mainly played as children’s leagues and in smaller fields. Google doesn’t know how to translate _futbito_ (thinks it’s Basque) and translates _fútbol sala_ as indoor football. And I want to know who the fuck are Novelty and AK talking about 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Baron\_Greenback](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baron_greenback/32/48_2.png) [@Baron\_Greenback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baron_Greenback)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2018, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/soccer-yawn/816505/154 "2018-07-04T20:18:47Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > And I want to know who the fuck are Novelty and AK talking about 😕 I’m assuming it’s Sunil Gavaskar - a cricketing deity. ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2018, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/soccer-yawn/816505/155 "2018-07-04T22:12:19Z")
> [@SanVito](#): > > How do you think we built an empire? One googly at a time? ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2018, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/soccer-yawn/816505/156 "2018-07-04T22:28:01Z")
> [@sciurophobic](#): > > What makes soccer boring to me is the passing. Wide open player A kicks ball to wide open player B, who then kicks it to wide open player C. No opposing player is even nearby to block or intercept. Every other similar sport there’s a constant fight for control of the ball. I don’t doubt there’s a richly-layered strategy at work comparable in complexity and sublimity to Waterloo, but damned if I can stay focused enough to see it. ---
**Author:** ![Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de053/32.png) [@Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackknifed_Juggernaut)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2018, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/soccer-yawn/816505/157 "2018-07-05T00:47:08Z")
> [@Baron\_Greenback](#): > > I’m assuming it’s Sunil Gavaskar - a cricketing deity. And I’m sure AK wasn’t really upset about it. Imagine playing on the same pitch as a legend. Interestingly, I’ve actually met the man as well. The Indian cricket team played an exhibition game at my local park, some time in the early 80’s. I met him, plus Kapil Dev and the whole team. I had just started playing little league baseball, and remember being upset that the batsmen didn’t run full speed between the wickets, like our coach forced us to do at all times on the bases. ---
**Author:** ![Terminus\_Est](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terminus_est/32/3087_2.png) [@Terminus\_Est](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terminus_Est)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2018, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/soccer-yawn/816505/158 "2018-07-05T03:08:18Z")
Soccer is so boring that even its would-be supporters would prefer to discuss a completely different game. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2018, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/soccer-yawn/816505/159 "2018-07-05T03:47:48Z")
> [@Jasmine](#): > > Does anyone besides me find soccer to be boring as hell? > > Yesterday’s World Cup results: > > Portugal 1, Morocco 0 > > Uraguay 1, Saudi Arabia 0 > > Spain 1, Iran 0 > > Up the field and down the field and up the field and down the field and up the field and … ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ Yo! Me too. Could not care less. Of course, I don’t care for sports in general, elephant polo excepted. The wife’s cousin once asked me why soccer, or “football,” was not popular in the US. I told her because it was a girly game. You KICK the ball and run, run, run, WHEE! Then KICK the ball and run, run, run, WHEE! I told someone else it was because the sports schedule was already full, what with baseball, basketball, American football and to some extent golf and hockey taking up everyone’s time. ---
**Author:** ![AK84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85e7bf/32.png) [@AK84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AK84)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2018, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/soccer-yawn/816505/160 "2018-07-05T05:02:26Z")
> [@Terminus\_Est](#): > > Soccer is so boring that even its would-be supporters would prefer to discuss a completely different game. 😛 Yes, even presenters [on a soccer show (all of whom played soccer)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XO_-QnzI6sc). Ditto a great player of soccer, he’d[rather play another sport](http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/cricket/article-2385313/Gary-Neville-Matthew-Hayden-Bury-Times-1992.html). ---
**Author:** ![Novelty\_Bobble](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Novelty\_Bobble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Novelty_Bobble)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2018, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/soccer-yawn/816505/161 "2018-07-05T06:12:32Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > And I want to know who the fuck are Novelty and AK talking about 😕 Sorry Nava, wasn’t trying to totally derail it to cricket but yes, As the Baron says it appears that a village cricket team introduced what is known as a “ringer”. Someone a little better than one would expect. On this occasion is seems to have been [Sunil Gavaskar](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sunil_Gavaskar). A retired Sunil Gavaskar sure…but still bloody Sunil Gavaskar. To put him into international perspective we are talking about a retired Roger Federer Or Rafael Nadal dropping by your local court for a knock-about. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/soccer-yawn/816505.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/soccer-yawn/816505.md?page=9)