# Socially acceptable ways of talking about below average looks? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 11, 2014, 8:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/socially-acceptable-ways-of-talking-about-below-average-looks/688178 "2014-05-11T08:55:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Nikki\_Tikki\_Tavi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3da27b/32.png) [@Nikki\_Tikki\_Tavi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nikki_Tikki_Tavi)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2014, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/socially-acceptable-ways-of-talking-about-below-average-looks/688178/41 "2014-05-12T20:13:08Z")
> [@Lasciel](#): > > Nikki, if it were any other poster, I’d agree with you, but this guy - I waver between thinking he doesn’t ever make it out into public at all, to thinking that he does, and actually says shit like this. > > I’m not sure which is worse. The more I read, the more I believe… > [@kambuckta](#): > > If my memory serves me correctly, **JohnClay** lives in a part of our fine country where seeing people as depicted in the photo in the OP is not likely to be necessarily all that unusual. (Have I used enough qualifiers there??) 🙂 I, too, live in the Midwest. 😛 Seriously, it seems to me like **JohnClay** sought out a picture of a morbidly obese person for the purpose of making fun of her, hoping that everyone would pile on and go “oh GROSS, I would DIE if someone like that were attracted to me!”, but if you all say he’s cluless and honestly that socially inept… I believe ya. ---
**Author:** ![jayrey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/47e85d/32.png) [@jayrey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayrey)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2014, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/socially-acceptable-ways-of-talking-about-below-average-looks/688178/42 "2014-05-12T21:07:55Z")
> [@jimbuff314](#): > > Your “Power of a man’s tears” thread not generating enough steam for ya ? Thanks for this, **jimbuff314**. I’d forgotten that OP’s name and you saved me from reading anymore of this drivel. ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2014, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/socially-acceptable-ways-of-talking-about-below-average-looks/688178/43 "2014-05-12T22:06:20Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > So, **JC** , do you see any irony in your reaction to a mentally ill person, given that others may be similarly reacting to you? Are you “better” than the woman in the picture? She has a large pannus. What mental illness does that mean she has? Please be specific. ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2014, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/socially-acceptable-ways-of-talking-about-below-average-looks/688178/44 "2014-05-12T22:10:01Z")
> [@Nikki\_Tikki\_Tavi](#): > > …Seriously, it seems to me like **JohnClay** sought out a picture of a morbidly obese person for the purpose of making fun of her, I just think that objectively she has “below average looks”. > [@](#): > > …hoping that everyone would pile on and go “oh GROSS, I would DIE if someone like that were attracted to me!”… I was asking for “socially acceptable ways of talking” about her. And when I asked “What do you think about the photo?” I was asking for people’s honest opinions… I didn’t mean to influence them into being rude or whatever. I also guessed that perhaps some would say that if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all… ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2014, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/socially-acceptable-ways-of-talking-about-below-average-looks/688178/45 "2014-05-12T22:11:47Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > So, **JC** , do you see any irony in your reaction to a mentally ill person, given that others may be similarly reacting to you? Are you “better” than the woman in the picture? Yes I am more physically attractive than her. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2014, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/socially-acceptable-ways-of-talking-about-below-average-looks/688178/46 "2014-05-12T22:20:24Z")
> [@JohnClay](#): > > Yes I am more physically attractive than her. Well, that’s the important thing. ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2014, 9:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/socially-acceptable-ways-of-talking-about-below-average-looks/688178/47 "2014-05-13T09:28:02Z")
**JohnClay** , you don’t need to talk about her. The lady in your link has one (or perhaps more) conditions that have resulted in such disfigurement. Why should she be a topic for discussion? Would you ask the same question of somebody horrifically burned in a housefire, an amputee or perhaps conjoined twins? She is not just below average looks. She has a major disability. To ask about 'socially acceptable ways of talking about…(her)…looks" is dreadfully uncouth and most insensitive. Take your belly fetish somewhere else. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2014, 11:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/socially-acceptable-ways-of-talking-about-below-average-looks/688178/48 "2014-05-13T11:28:39Z")
> [@kambuckta](#): > > **JohnClay** , you don’t need to talk about her. I asked other people to talk about her. > [@](#): > > The lady in your link has one (or perhaps more) conditions that have resulted in such disfigurement. Why should she be a topic for discussion? Well a lot of others replied to this thread. And some even thought she had a mental illness! Though so far they haven’t said what mental illness they think she has. > [@](#): > > Would you ask the same question of somebody horrifically burned in a housefire, an amputee or perhaps conjoined twins? Actually yes I was thinking of also including a burn victim’s photo but that’s getting off topic. > [@](#): > > She is not just below average looks. She has a major disability. To ask about 'socially acceptable ways of talking about…(her)…looks" is dreadfully uncouth and most insensitive. You just did talk about her yourself! And in a socially acceptable way… > [@](#): > > Take your belly fetish somewhere else. ☹ Apparently it’s called a pannus. ---
**Author:** ![therealyankey27](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/41988e/32.png) [@therealyankey27](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/therealyankey27)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2014, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/socially-acceptable-ways-of-talking-about-below-average-looks/688178/49 "2014-05-13T23:14:15Z")
> [@JohnClay](#): > > Apparently it’s called a pannus. Damn my very minor dyslexia, it’s bad enough I suck at making graphs, but I swear you (and the other guy) said painus (tf2 reference. ---
**Author:** ![Charlie\_Wayne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4bbf92/32.png) [@Charlie\_Wayne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Charlie_Wayne)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2014, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/socially-acceptable-ways-of-talking-about-below-average-looks/688178/50 "2014-05-13T23:27:32Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > I love the way her eyes are blocked . . . as though nobody could identify her without seeing her eyes. Ha! Ha! Ha! Oh no! I hope I won’t get into trouble for laughing. I meant to laugh in a political correctly way. Honest! She’s not ugly! She’s not ugly! She’s not ugly! I promise! ---
**Author:** ![Penfeather](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penfeather/32/384_2.png) [@Penfeather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Penfeather)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2014, 6:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/socially-acceptable-ways-of-talking-about-below-average-looks/688178/51 "2014-05-14T06:21:48Z")
> [@JohnClay](#): > > Yes I am more physically attractive than her. You have a wonderful personality :rolleyes: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/socially-acceptable-ways-of-talking-about-below-average-looks/688178.md?page=2)