# Soft or hard? How do you like yours?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/soft-or-hard-how-do-you-like-yours/190609>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [July 24, 2003, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/soft-or-hard-how-do-you-like-yours/190609 "2003-07-24T13:06:29Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 5\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![SenorBeef](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senorbeef/32/2220_2.png) [@SenorBeef](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SenorBeef)\
**Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/soft-or-hard-how-do-you-like-yours/190609/21 "2003-07-25T03:11:18Z")

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I thought it was about penises.

Oh, woops, were we being clever?

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**Author:** ![DeadlyAccurate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ac91a4/32.png) [@DeadlyAccurate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeadlyAccurate)\
**Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/soft-or-hard-how-do-you-like-yours/190609/22 "2003-07-25T03:22:49Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by available light \*  
> \*\*Just curious, **DeadlyAccurate** , why does it annoy you to have someone rubbing your back or shoulders? To me that feels wonderful, especially if it’s someone you care about. \*\*

For a very short while it’s okay, but then it just starts to irritate my skin. Plus I seem to have issues with being touched too much, though I can’t for the life of me think of why that is.

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**Author:** ![InternetLegend](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/internetlegend/32/13154_2.png) [@InternetLegend](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/InternetLegend)\
**Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/soft-or-hard-how-do-you-like-yours/190609/23 "2003-07-25T05:44:04Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Sunshine \*  
> **Personally, I was thinking eggs. If it’s eggs, then hard.  
> Pretzles? Also hard.  
> Tacos? Both.  
> Mattress? Hard but with a pillow top.  
> Ice Cream? Soft.  
> Cheese? Both.  
> Rock music? Variety.  
> Pillow? Firm but with a mattress top.**

I immediately thought “eggs,” too, and then thought, “or mattresses.”

So:  
Eggs - medium  
Pretzels - soft  
Tacos - hard  
Mattress - hard  
Ice Cream - hard  
Cheese - Hard  
Pillow - Soft  
Rock Music - whiny

And I like a medium massage - not so hard as to be unenjoyable, but hard enough for my muscles to really feel it.

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**Author:** ![OxyMoron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e9a140/32.png) [@OxyMoron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OxyMoron)\
**Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/soft-or-hard-how-do-you-like-yours/190609/24 "2003-07-25T14:19:49Z")

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Massage? On a pain scale of 1-10, I try to stay at about 7-9, otherwise I find that it doesn’t really _do_ anything.

Others:

Eggs - soft  
Pretzels - soft  
Tacos - soft  
Mattresses - hard  
Ice cream - soft  
Cheese - both  
Pillow - hard  
Rock music - none  
Penises - hard  
Core - hard  
Drugs - soft  
Landings - soft  
Car tops - hard  
Bodies - hard  
Money - hard  
Sell - soft  
Data - hard  
Suitcases - soft  
News - hard  
Science - hard  
Soil - soft  
Corners - soft  
Boot - hard  
Water - soft  
Soles - soft  
Consonants - both

Did I miss any?

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**Author:** ![Elysian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c77e96/32.png) [@Elysian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elysian)\
**Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/soft-or-hard-how-do-you-like-yours/190609/25 "2003-07-25T14:39:14Z")

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Eggs - brown  
Pretzels - large  
Tacos - chicken  
Mattress - occupied 😉  
Ice Cream - chocolate chip (anything)  
Cheese - Gruyere  
Pillow - scented lavender  
Rock Music - NOT country

And I like my massages with lots of lubrication 😛

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