# Soleless Atheists vs. the USPS **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 9, 2013, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/soleless-atheists-vs-the-usps/655220 "2013-04-09T13:17:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2013, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/soleless-atheists-vs-the-usps/655220/21 "2013-04-09T19:07:42Z")
> [@digs](#): > > You sort of do… they have “Ich Bin Atheist” debossed into the bottom of the sole, so you’ll leave that message in the sand (unless Jesus is carrying you…:rolleyes:). That’ll solve **that** debate, at least. ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2013, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/soleless-atheists-vs-the-usps/655220/22 "2013-04-09T19:27:29Z")
I could only put those on if I was meeting Walter, Donny and the Dude at the Hollywood Star Lanes. ---
**Author:** ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2013, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/soleless-atheists-vs-the-usps/655220/23 "2013-04-09T20:03:44Z")
> [@hotflungwok](#): > > _Nabokov Cream_? Someone wanna throw me a bone? I don’t get this one. ---
**Author:** ![Hershele\_Ostropoler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e47c2d/32.png) [@Hershele\_Ostropoler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hershele_Ostropoler)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2013, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/soleless-atheists-vs-the-usps/655220/24 "2013-04-09T20:14:16Z")
> [@Leaper](#): > > I didn’t know the USPS had time to do “godless heathen” sorting. One hears occasionally of carriers refusing to deliver porn, or left-wing rags like _Time_, or _TV Guide_ when you can see that the person on the cover has breasts, or things like that. ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2013, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/soleless-atheists-vs-the-usps/655220/25 "2013-04-09T20:22:28Z")
> [@zoid](#): > > Someone wanna throw me a bone? I don’t get this one. Nabokov wrote [_Lolita_](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lolita), a novel about a man who becomes sexually involved with a 12 year old girl. ---
**Author:** ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2013, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/soleless-atheists-vs-the-usps/655220/26 "2013-04-09T20:56:51Z")
> [@Fear\_Itself](#): > > Nabokov wrote [_Lolita_](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lolita), a novel about a man who becomes sexually involved with a 12 year old girl. Ah, thank you. And - ewww! ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2013, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/soleless-atheists-vs-the-usps/655220/27 "2013-04-09T23:22:47Z")
> [@Heart\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > You really think so? I agree they’re expensive, but they don’t look badly made to me, and I think they’re pretty cool. > [@digs](#): > > As does your “cheap shoes” comment. Even though I’d love to tell people I’m wearing a “KITTEN TESTICLE GREY” shoe, it looks like something thrown together… for €129. I didn’t call them “cheap shoes” nor did I say they looked poorly constructed. I said they look cheap to make: they all have the same thin rubber sole made from the same last and the same patterned upper which is 3 or 4 cuts of what looks like suede. There aren’t even eyelets for the laces, just holes punched in the fabric. Profit margin must be huge per pair. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2013, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/soleless-atheists-vs-the-usps/655220/28 "2013-04-10T00:17:05Z")
They need a proper set of controls to cover the possibility space. One group of packages goes out with unmarked packing tape. One with “Atheist” tape. One with “In God We Trust” tape. One with “Jesus loves you!” tape. One with “The Mighty Thor” tape. One with “Blessed be” tape… [sub]Although I might be a little careful with the “Iä! Iä! Cthulhu Fhtagn!” tape…[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2013, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/soleless-atheists-vs-the-usps/655220/29 "2013-04-10T00:35:02Z")
The control element for this experiment would be, of course, to ship some Watterson books in a shoe box with tape labelled ‘Calvinist’. ---
**Author:** ![hotflungwok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/edb3f5/32.png) [@hotflungwok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hotflungwok)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2013, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/soleless-atheists-vs-the-usps/655220/30 "2013-04-10T16:12:58Z")
> [@zoid](#): > > Ah, thank you. > > And - ewww! Egg zack lee Why exactly would they use names like this? “Oh wow, those shoes are great! Where did you get them?” “At this web site here.” “I want some in that color, what is it?” “Um, kitten testicle grey.” “…” 0\_o ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2013, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/soleless-atheists-vs-the-usps/655220/31 "2013-04-10T16:16:46Z")
Come on-Can you think of _anything_ more soft and tender than kitten testicles? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![hotflungwok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/edb3f5/32.png) [@hotflungwok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hotflungwok)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2013, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/soleless-atheists-vs-the-usps/655220/32 "2013-04-10T17:55:38Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > Come on-Can you think of _anything_ more soft and tender than kitten testicles? 😃 How exactly do you know what kitten testicles feel like? The back of a kitten’s ear is the softest thing I can think of. ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2013, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/soleless-atheists-vs-the-usps/655220/33 "2013-04-10T18:47:50Z")
> [@hotflungwok](#): > > How exactly do you know what kitten testicles feel like? > > The back of a kitten’s ear is the softest thing I can think of. Then your mission is to hunt down some kittyballs. After that, the back of the ear will be the second softest thing you can think of. ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2013, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/soleless-atheists-vs-the-usps/655220/34 "2013-04-10T19:10:58Z")
> [@Sicks\_Ate](#): > > Then your mission is to hunt down some kittyballs. After that, the back of the ear will be the second softest thing you can think of. I would think that kitten’s balls would be soft in a mushy sort of way that would be less than pleasant to walk on/in. ---
**Author:** ![Alan\_Smithee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2acd7d/32.png) [@Alan\_Smithee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alan_Smithee)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2013, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/soleless-atheists-vs-the-usps/655220/35 "2013-04-10T19:25:17Z")
I think those shoes look great! Yes, it’s basically one style, but they are a small start-up company, and they look well made. I could easily imagine Nike or Adidas has much higher markups just based on economies of scale. I’d buy some, but I’m broke and I don’t have the wardrobe to go with them. ---
**Author:** ![swampspruce](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampspruce/32/261_2.png) [@swampspruce](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampspruce)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2013, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/soleless-atheists-vs-the-usps/655220/36 "2013-04-10T19:42:45Z")
Not being a biologist, but is it still a kitten if it’s testes have dropped or are cats different than other mammals? Technically, it would be Tom Scrotum Grey,wouldn’t it? Now if someone can direct me where I might purchase some Lovecraftian packing tape, my day will be compleat! ---
**Author:** ![hotflungwok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/edb3f5/32.png) [@hotflungwok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hotflungwok)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2013, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/soleless-atheists-vs-the-usps/655220/37 "2013-04-10T20:08:57Z")
> [@Sicks\_Ate](#): > > Then your mission is to hunt down some kittyballs. After that, the back of the ear will be the second softest thing you can think of. I think I’m going to pass. My cats are both tutored, and I don’t want to get banned from the humane society I volunteer at for molesting kittens. ‘I just wanted to see how soft there were, really!’ ---
**Author:** ![Doug\_K](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b5ac83/32.png) [@Doug\_K](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doug_K)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2013, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/soleless-atheists-vs-the-usps/655220/38 "2013-04-10T20:12:21Z")
> [@hotflungwok](#): > > I think I’m going to pass. My cats are both tutored, I’ve always thought public schools were good enough for cats. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2013, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/soleless-atheists-vs-the-usps/655220/39 "2013-04-10T20:57:13Z")
> [@hotflungwok](#): > > I think I’m going to pass. My cats are both tutored, and I don’t want to get banned from the humane society I volunteer at for molesting kittens. ‘I just wanted to see how soft there were, really!’ “Excuse me, I’m trying to see if I’d like a new pair of shoes!” ---
**Author:** ![hotflungwok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/edb3f5/32.png) [@hotflungwok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hotflungwok)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2013, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/soleless-atheists-vs-the-usps/655220/40 "2013-04-10T21:47:47Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > “Excuse me, I’m trying to see if I’d like a new pair of shoes!” “Hey, cmere for a second. Yeah you. Touch my shoes. Go ahead touch them. Soft right? Now here, touch my cat’s balls. Go on, give em a stroke. What? I just want to know which one is softer!” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/soleless-atheists-vs-the-usps/655220.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/soleless-atheists-vs-the-usps/655220.md?page=3)