# Solidity of Hamlet **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 12, 2001, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solidity-of-hamlet/75907 "2001-08-12T15:26:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2001, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solidity-of-hamlet/75907/1 "2001-08-12T15:26:16Z")
With the overwhelming response to [Dead Horse, NM](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=80991) (well, at least a couple of responses including a rimshot), I bring you yet another mundane, pointless post I must share: **Solidity of Hamlet** By Will Shake’n’Bake TUBBY, OR NOT TUBBY. Fat is the question. Whether 'tis globular in the hind to buffer the seats and benches of outrageous hardness, or thick in the arms or in a chin that’s doubled by impressive ingestion. To diet, to eat no more. And by a diet to say we end the heartburn and the Thousand Island slop we subject our flesh to. 'Tis a consommé devoutly to be dish’d. To diet, to fast; to fast, perchance to revert. Aye, there’s the rub: for after that Fast of Death what creams may come when we have stuffed ourselves with mortadella must give us pause. There’s the respect that makes calamity of such a backslide. For who would forego the trips to stores and bakeries, To birthday parties, to company luncheons, To outdoor barbecues, to fast-food restaurants, Suffer the pangs of horrid hunger and the too-slow reduction of unwieldy weight when he himself might his surrender make with an open fridge? Who would exercise, to grunt and sweat under free-weights, but that the dread of excess heft, that social stigma from which no fat person is free, troubles the will? Thus weight-consciousness does make dieters of us all, and to banquets of great diversity and amount we must therefore say good-bye, or lose the game of attraction. Hark! The fair Oprah! Be all thy sizes remember’d? ---
**Author:** ![Drogulus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Drogulus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drogulus)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2001, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solidity-of-hamlet/75907/2 "2001-08-12T17:23:47Z")
Throws a whole new light on that “O that this too, too solid flesh would melt…” bit, doesn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![screech-owl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2001, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solidity-of-hamlet/75907/3 "2001-08-12T20:10:47Z")
So that’s where the ‘funeral baked meats’ casserole I sent went to. ---
**Author:** ![Finagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@Finagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finagle)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2001, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solidity-of-hamlet/75907/4 "2001-08-12T23:38:31Z")
Yet more proof that bacon wrote Shakespeare. ---
**Author:** ![Sir\_Rhosis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d9b06d/32.png) [@Sir\_Rhosis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sir_Rhosis)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2001, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solidity-of-hamlet/75907/5 "2001-08-14T00:34:56Z")
Johnny? Even funnier the second time I read it. I’m telling that other guy at that other board that you ripped him off. 🙂 Again, I believe Gertrude’s observation that Hamlet was “fat” was Will’s dig at his friend, the tall, overweight actor Richard Burbage who first played Hamlet on stage. Sir Rhosis ---
**Author:** ![Hamlet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hamlet/32/2818_2.png) [@Hamlet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamlet)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2001, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solidity-of-hamlet/75907/6 "2001-08-14T00:40:07Z")
I personally am offended!!! Some meat is rotten in the State of Denmark…dont eat it!!! ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2001, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solidity-of-hamlet/75907/7 "2001-08-14T00:46:40Z")
> [@](#): > > I’m telling that other guy at that other board that you ripped him off. 🙂 Heh heh. I am the other guy. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2025, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solidity-of-hamlet/75907/8 "2025-03-13T00:15:59Z")
We watch _Shakespeare and Hathaway_ on BBC with some frequency. I usually think of this. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2025, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solidity-of-hamlet/75907/9 "2025-03-13T03:26:41Z")
Since ‘Dead Horse, NM’ has disappeared, here it is: DEAD HORSE, NM [Johnny L.A., c 1992] Munch. Munch. ‘Seen Mom?’ ‘Are you kidding? It’s so dark in here I can’t see a bloody thing!’ ‘Ha. Ha.’ ‘What?’ ‘You said “bloody”.’ ‘Oh.’ Munch. Munch. ‘Where are we, anyway?’ ‘Dead Horse.’ ‘No shit. Really, _where_ are we?’ ‘New Mexico.’ ‘Could you be more specific?’ ‘Dead Horse.’ ‘God. If I had limbs I’d pummel you.’ ‘Look. We’re in a dead horse _in_ Dead Horse. Dead Horse, New Mexico. Got it?’ ‘Okay, okay.’ ‘Horse’s name was Ernest.’ ‘Oh, shut up and eat.’ Munch. Munch. Munch. Munch. ‘What are you doing?’ ‘I’m pupating, you larval lunkhead.’ ‘Pupating! You’re NOT going to metamorphose without me! Hey…! Hey, I’m talking to you…! **HEY!** ’ And so the maggots ceased fighting in dead Ernest, and held a truce until they became flies. But that’s another story.