# Solitary and Mutual Wanking **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 25, 2004, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solitary-and-mutual-wanking/236365 "2004-03-25T16:21:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2004, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solitary-and-mutual-wanking/236365/41 "2004-03-25T19:54:58Z")
> [@skutir](#): > > There’s a big difference between sharing an old joke with old friends and saying them to people who don’t get it so you can snicker with your friends at the newby’s blank look and confusion, perhaps believing you’ve outsmarted them because you have some private language. Yes, just like there’s a big difference between learning the culture of a community you’re coming into, and getting totally paranoid about that community and thinking that you’re somehow the center of their malevolent attention. Dude. Rather than assuming that the jokes are at your expense–rather than assuming anyone knows who you are, even–why not pick up that knife Occam left behind and figure that maybe, just maybe, the jokes are **jokes**? Trust me. When you’re being laughed at around this place, you’ll know it. Like right now, people are laughing at you because you’re being paranoid and shrill. Take your lumps, laugh sheepishly, quit being paranoid, and in two hours everyone will have forgotten about it. Daniel ---
**Author:** ![belladonna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9fc29f/32.png) [@belladonna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/belladonna)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2004, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solitary-and-mutual-wanking/236365/42 "2004-03-25T19:55:50Z")
> [@skutir](#): > > I’m not pitting inside jokes in general, however dumb and boring they are, but specifically either quoting a post and replying to it with a smug cryptic remark and/or a thread by a new member and shitting all over it. Enjoy your inside jokes all you want with people who get them. Well that’s the thing, SDMB threads are open to \*\*any and all \*\* members who choose to read and/or reply to them. Way more people will be reading them than just you, and if a poster wants to make a joke targeted towards those readers what the fuck does it matter to you? If you don’t get the joke and want to, ask and it’ll be explained. If you don’t care about the joke and don’t want to get it, ignore it. Or maybe everyone should just stay out of all newbie threads so that we don’t violate their precious niavete. But then of course we’d probably have to listen to all the bitching about how the “clique” is ignoring the newbies. Wah! ---
**Author:** ![coffeecam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bc8723/32.png) [@coffeecam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/coffeecam)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2004, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solitary-and-mutual-wanking/236365/43 "2004-03-25T19:59:13Z")
No no no… this thread is Shaka when the walls fell. c ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2004, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solitary-and-mutual-wanking/236365/44 "2004-03-25T19:59:26Z")
> [@Left Hand of Dorkness](#): > > Well, too bad, because they ain’t your threads, and anyone can post in them. > > If a thread is being really badly hijacked, then you can try to steer it back on course, using the “more flies with honey than vinegar” principle. Or you can start a new thread. > > Significantly, you’re not complaining about jokes in a thread: you’re complaining about jokes you don’t get. Essentially, you’ve come into an existing community of people with existing traditions, and rather than accommodating yourself to those traditions, you’re insultingly telling everyone else to knock it off with traditions that you don’t like. > > Ain’t gonna work. You may not like it, but it ain’t gonna. The board’s traditions are ingrained, and everyone won’t change their sense of humor because you’ve not been around long enough to catch all the jokes. > > Daniel :golf clap: :in heavy Victorian Major accent: “Bra-vo Lefty, auld chap! Sit down and have a brandy!..have I showed you my death ray…?” ---
**Author:** ![coffeecam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bc8723/32.png) [@coffeecam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/coffeecam)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2004, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solitary-and-mutual-wanking/236365/45 "2004-03-25T20:02:06Z")
> [@coffeecam](#): > > No no no… this thread is Shaka when the walls fell. > > c Crap… wrong button. That was, of course, for **Smeghead** c ---
**Author:** ![askeptic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eb9ed0/32.png) [@askeptic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/askeptic)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2004, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solitary-and-mutual-wanking/236365/46 "2004-03-25T20:05:07Z")
> [@](#): > > in two hours everyone will have forgotten about it. Does that mean I can dump this stupid sig now? ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2004, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solitary-and-mutual-wanking/236365/47 "2004-03-25T20:16:49Z")
> [@askeptic](#): > > Does that mean I can dump this stupid sig now? Huh? Sure. I mean, when I saw it, my first thought was, “who the fuck is **askeptic**?” [sub]I slay me![/sub] Daniel ---
**Author:** ![askeptic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eb9ed0/32.png) [@askeptic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/askeptic)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2004, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solitary-and-mutual-wanking/236365/48 "2004-03-25T20:19:57Z")
Sure it was… ---
**Author:** ![bordelond](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bordelond/32/150_2.png) [@bordelond](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bordelond)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2004, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solitary-and-mutual-wanking/236365/49 "2004-03-25T20:24:34Z")
> [@Diogenes the Cynic](#): > > If someone posts a cryptic remark in direct response to one of your own posts just ask them what they meant. They’ll usually explain it or somebody else will. 99 percent of the time it’s perfectly benign. Agree totally. True, an earnest question about an inside joke will get a bunch of jokey replies. But someone eventually will help you out. I’ve done so many times myself as kind of a public service. This board gets exponentially more interesting when the in-jokes make sense. … **Diogenes** – for some reason, it seems you have been here since the beginning. Only a year+1/2? ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2004, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solitary-and-mutual-wanking/236365/50 "2004-03-25T20:26:40Z")
Naw, I know who you are – you’re the guy that told me not to talk out my ass, and who I completely blew up at in an obnoxious manner, and who I exchanged apologies with immediately thereafter, and who everything’s cool with now, right? Honestly, we’re all like a bunch of five-year-olds sometimes, fighting at the drop of a hat but making up just as quickly. 🙂 But I _did_ have to think about it for a moment to remember that interaction I had with you all the way back in Monday. Daniel ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2004, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solitary-and-mutual-wanking/236365/51 "2004-03-25T20:31:55Z")
> [@askeptic](#): > > Does that mean I can dump this stupid sig now? [hijack] askeptic, I’ve noticed you posting in the Pit a ton lately. A bit of extremely non-mod, non-Pit advice: sloooooow down. Also, it’s customary to just post your sig once per thread - it cuts down on bandwidth or somesuch. [/hijack] ---
**Author:** ![WernhamHogg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a587f6/32.png) [@WernhamHogg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WernhamHogg)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2004, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solitary-and-mutual-wanking/236365/52 "2004-03-25T21:44:21Z")
1. Just because I’m paranoid doesn’t mean you’re not all out to get me. 2. Just because I can’t take a joke doesn’t mean the joke was funny. 3. Who’s Opal? ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2004, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solitary-and-mutual-wanking/236365/53 "2004-03-25T21:51:33Z")
> [@Munch](#): > > [hijack]Also, it’s customary to just post your sig once per thread - it cuts down on bandwidth or somesuch. > [/hijack] The boards are now set to display sigs automatically, and sig display is being touted as a benefit of membership. I think this custom has been scuttled. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2004, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solitary-and-mutual-wanking/236365/54 "2004-03-25T21:51:52Z")
> [@skutir](#): > > 1. Just because I’m paranoid doesn’t mean you’re not all out to get me. [sub]TO THE CABAL: Shit, that one almost always throws 'em off the scent. Anyone got a backup plan? oh wait, I know.[/sub] HEY, LOOK OVER THERE–IT’S ELVIS! Daniel ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2004, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solitary-and-mutual-wanking/236365/55 "2004-03-25T21:55:26Z")
> [@Otto](#): > > The boards are now set to display sigs automatically, and sig display is being touted as a benefit of membership. I think this custom has been scuttled. Huh. Didn’t notice that. Thanks! ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2004, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solitary-and-mutual-wanking/236365/56 "2004-03-25T22:11:34Z")
My next post will contain my evidence. ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2004, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solitary-and-mutual-wanking/236365/57 "2004-03-25T22:44:57Z")
Now now, lets just all give a warm sticky hand to **skutir** for starting this thread. ---
**Author:** ![askeptic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eb9ed0/32.png) [@askeptic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/askeptic)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2004, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solitary-and-mutual-wanking/236365/58 "2004-03-25T22:46:42Z")
> [@Munch](#): > > [hijack] > askeptic, I’ve noticed you posting in the Pit a ton lately. A bit of extremely non-mod, non-Pit advice: sloooooow down. Also, it’s customary to just post your sig once per thread - it cuts down on bandwidth or somesuch. > [/hijack] [hijack]Munch, while I could understand a criticism about something I posted, why should the fact that I feel compelled, out of politeness or orneryness, to respond when somebody addresses me, be the focus of your complaint. I have every confidence that the administration does not need your unsolicited help. If my posts are out of line or in violation of the rules the mods will handle it. I readily admit that I oftent make comments I regret, but I must say if the worst complaint you have is “You post to often” I can’t say I really care.[/hijack]. ---
**Author:** ![Finagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@Finagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finagle)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2004, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solitary-and-mutual-wanking/236365/59 "2004-03-25T22:58:31Z")
> [@skutir](#): > > I keep meaning to open a pit on the cabal of inside jokers who wander into threads and say things like “Jenna Elfson, You have some ‘splainin’ to do,” Sadly, there’s a difference between an “in-joke” and an obscure or even witty reference that goes right over your head. In the case of the “Jenna Elfman” reference in a Scientology thread, someone who didn’t want to be extremely embarassed might do a quick Google search for “Jenna Elfman Scientology” and check out the 1600 or so hits. Skutir, to put it bluntly, this was not an in-joke, unless you consider “in” to mean “several million people in the U.S.” It was a semi-humorous pop-culture reference that you weren’t clever enough to catch. ---
**Author:** ![HelenGawn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e4f/32.png) [@HelenGawn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HelenGawn)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2004, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solitary-and-mutual-wanking/236365/60 "2004-03-25T23:27:47Z")
Yeahyeahyeah. All’s I know is, I wanna go to the Secret Wanker’s Ball. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solitary-and-mutual-wanking/236365.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solitary-and-mutual-wanking/236365.md?page=4)