# Solution to Financial Crisis **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 12, 2009, 6:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solution-to-financial-crisis/485501 "2009-02-12T06:22:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bc8723/32.png) [@Fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fish)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2009, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solution-to-financial-crisis/485501/21 "2009-02-12T20:34:06Z")
I say we just give them golden parachutes. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2009, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solution-to-financial-crisis/485501/22 "2009-02-12T20:42:17Z")
> [@Fish](#): > > I say we just give them golden parachutes. “Now that the Stimulus Package is here, former CEOs are all taking **golden** showers!..What?” ---
**Author:** ![Fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bc8723/32.png) [@Fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fish)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2009, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solution-to-financial-crisis/485501/23 "2009-02-12T20:48:00Z")
In real molten gold! ---
**Author:** ![Carl\_Corey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Carl\_Corey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carl_Corey)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2009, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solution-to-financial-crisis/485501/24 "2009-02-12T20:55:59Z")
> [@Fish](#): > > In real molten gold! Now there’s an idea. We turn them over to Khal Drogo. (Yeah, yeah he’s a fictional character. Let me dream.) ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2009, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solution-to-financial-crisis/485501/25 "2009-02-12T21:21:44Z")
It’s just time that we start treating people with MBAs like the morons that they are. There was a time where business school was where prosperous families sent the slower children who couldn’t hack in in the service or as doctors or lawyers. Now we have our entire economy being run by people who are, at best, third rate men. ---
**Author:** ![LVgeogeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b19c9b/32.png) [@LVgeogeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LVgeogeek)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2009, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solution-to-financial-crisis/485501/26 "2009-02-12T23:25:08Z")
> [@42fish](#): > > Shooting them seems too final. And who has $100 to spare? I say sell tickets to whack them in the nads with a baseball bat for $5 each. Bonus: if you need more stimulus, they’re still around so you can sell tickets again. Whack-A-Schmuck! I like it! Then when they are all beat-down and bloody, squirt lemon juice on their wounds! ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2009, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solution-to-financial-crisis/485501/27 "2009-02-12T23:44:40Z")
> [@Superfluous\_Parentheses](#): > > What’s wrong with lions and tigers? In fact, I prefer gladiator fights. So what would we arm them with? Golf clubs and broken martini glasses? ---
**Author:** ![buttonjockey308](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@buttonjockey308](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buttonjockey308)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2009, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solution-to-financial-crisis/485501/28 "2009-02-13T00:15:09Z")
I say we set up a website with a pay-to-play automatic paintball gun, put the CEO’s in the paintball cell for 12 hours a day and it’s a 5 dollars for 2 minutes of peppering the asswipes. But don’t stop there, find every shitbrick who while making $75k a year decided it was a good idea to take a $400k interest only mortgage on a 4,500 square foot house. Then, we’ll have plenty of people to shoot at. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Carrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f0a364/32.png) [@Captain\_Carrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Carrot)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2009, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solution-to-financial-crisis/485501/29 "2009-02-13T00:17:17Z")
> [@Cluricaun](#): > > It’s just time that we start treating people with MBAs like the morons that they are. There was a time where business school was where prosperous families sent the slower children who couldn’t hack in in the service or as doctors or lawyers. Now we have our entire economy being run by people who are, at best, third rate men. There was also a time when doctors were the least respected profession because any idiot claimed to be one, and they kept killing people. What’s your point? ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2009, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solution-to-financial-crisis/485501/30 "2009-02-13T00:55:32Z")
> [@Captain\_Carrot](#): > > There was also a time when doctors were the least respected profession because any idiot claimed to be one, and they kept killing people. What’s your point? My point is that we’ve allowed our economy to be hijacked by morons. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2009, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solution-to-financial-crisis/485501/31 "2009-02-13T01:01:06Z")
> [@LVgeogeek](#): > > Whack-A-Schmuck! I like it! > Then when they are all beat-down and bloody, squirt lemon juice on their wounds! [Thurston Howell III] _Not_ lemon juice, my dear boy. You _only_ use that on the _commoners_. For individuals of _this_ caliber, you simply _must_ use [fleur de sel](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fleur_de_sel). [/THIII] ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2009, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solution-to-financial-crisis/485501/32 "2009-02-13T02:34:24Z")
So, you want to shoot the Wall Street bankers? How about Nancy Pelosi and her [$30 million for a damn mouse?](http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2009/feb/12/earmark-less-bill-gives-pelosis-mouse-cookie/) I’m more afraid of the politicians. Wall Street bankers can’t take my money. Politicians can. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2009, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solution-to-financial-crisis/485501/33 "2009-02-13T02:41:30Z")
> [@ivylass](#): > > So, you want to shoot the Wall Street bankers? How about Nancy Pelosi and her [$30 million for a damn mouse?](http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2009/feb/12/earmark-less-bill-gives-pelosis-mouse-cookie/) > > I’m more afraid of the politicians. Wall Street bankers can’t take my money. Politicians can. Its going for a **wetlands** restoration project, which will benefit a mouse **amongst other things.** In case you hadn’t heard _potable_ water is in short supply in many places, _including California_ and wetlands are an **economical way** to clean up water. Its _cheaper_ than building a water treatment plant, and it ain’t **dick** compared to the amount of money we spent looking for **WMDs that _didn’t fucking exist!_** ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2009, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solution-to-financial-crisis/485501/34 "2009-02-13T02:48:40Z")
It’s for a mouse. In her district. She’s been pushing for it for years. But hey…let’s load up the bill with pork and pet projects and earmarks…why not? It’s only money our children and grandchildren will have to repay. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2009, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solution-to-financial-crisis/485501/35 "2009-02-13T02:59:53Z")
> [@ivylass](#): > > It’s for a mouse. In her district. She’s been pushing for it for years. But hey…let’s load up the bill with pork and pet projects and earmarks…why not? It’s only money our children and grandchildren will have to repay. Yes, because in the entire wetlands there will be **only** mice. :rolleyes: And $30 million, again, **ain’t dick** , compared to the **billions** of debt we’ve racked up because of Iraq. It **ain’t dick** compared to what **Bush** handed over to the banks before he left office. It **ain’t dick** compared to the hundreds of millions which Haliburton was found to have over-charged the US for work in Iraq. In the scheme of a $5 trillion annual budget like the Federal goverment has, it **ain’t dick.** To put it into a better perspective, there are 300 million Americans, the wetland restoration will cost every American **less than $1!** For christ’s sake, I’m unemployed and even **I** can afford that. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Carrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f0a364/32.png) [@Captain\_Carrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Carrot)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2009, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solution-to-financial-crisis/485501/36 "2009-02-13T03:38:06Z")
> [@ivylass](#): > > So, you want to shoot the Wall Street bankers? How about Nancy Pelosi and her [$30 million for a damn mouse?](http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2009/feb/12/earmark-less-bill-gives-pelosis-mouse-cookie/) Did you _seriously_ just cite the fucking _Washington Times_?! Suffice it to say that the entire thing is a lie. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2009, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solution-to-financial-crisis/485501/37 "2009-02-13T03:41:35Z")
Even the GOP staffer who sent the email about the “mouse” admits there is no specific wording in the bill whatsoever about it. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2009, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solution-to-financial-crisis/485501/38 "2009-02-13T04:04:16Z")
> [@Captain\_Carrot](#): > > Did you _seriously_ just cite the fucking _Washington Times_?! Suffice it to say that the entire thing is a lie. Why do you hate the Moonies? [Another one deserving of a beatdown.](http://www.usatoday.com/money/economy/housing/2009-02-11-mortgage-fraud-fugitive_N.htm) > [@](#): > > An international fugitive in a $100 million mortgage fraud scheme has been caught at the Canadian border with $1 million in Swiss bank certificates and $70,000 stuffed in his shoes, authorities said Wednesday. > > Christopher J. Warren also was carrying four ounces of platinum valued at more than $1,000 an ounce when he was arrested while re-entering the United States at Buffalo, before midnight Tuesday. > > Warren is the second of three fugitives to be caught in the ongoing investigation of Loomis Wealth Solutions, a Roseville, Calif.-based investment company, and several related companies. ---
**Author:** ![Jaglavak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/85f322/32.png) [@Jaglavak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jaglavak)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2009, 7:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solution-to-financial-crisis/485501/39 "2009-02-13T07:08:14Z")
Children, children. You are way too nice. Shoot them? Beat them? Come on ya pikers! If you really want to hurt them, I mean really make 'em suffer… Make them poor. ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2009, 7:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solution-to-financial-crisis/485501/40 "2009-02-13T07:17:31Z")
> [@ivylass](#): > > Wall Street bankers can’t take my money. What, you keep it in a mattress or tied up in an old stocking or something? If you’ve got any retirement accounts, or if you happened to have any dealings with a guy called Madoff, you should know that yes, Wall Street bankers most certainly **can** take your money. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solution-to-financial-crisis/485501.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solution-to-financial-crisis/485501.md?page=3)