# Solution to the Trump problem **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 18, 2017, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solution-to-the-trump-problem/777499 "2017-01-18T22:56:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![dtilque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d6d6ee/32.png) [@dtilque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dtilque)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2017, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solution-to-the-trump-problem/777499/1 "2017-01-18T22:56:31Z")
Many on this board don’t feel the Donald will make a good president (understatement of the year, I know). He’s certainly not being very presidential with all his Tweets, etc. So I came up with a solution: Kick him upstairs. We need to find a position that’s at least as prestigious as POTUS but has no real power. There’s a thread from 3 years ago in GQ where someone suggested he be made king of Scotland. Excellent idea, but they’re taking too long in deciding to break with England. We need something now. So how about we create a new position in the US: Chairman of the Board. Disregard the fact that the US does not actually have a Board of Directors – we can create the position now and then fill in the rest of the board later. So what do you think of this idea? And any nominees for other board members? ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2017, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solution-to-the-trump-problem/777499/2 "2017-01-19T02:43:29Z")
> [@dtilque](#): > > Many on this board don’t feel the Donald will make a good president (understatement of the year, I know). Where did you come up with this ridiculous notion? ---
**Author:** ![Walken\_After\_Midnight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b487fb/32.png) [@Walken\_After\_Midnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walken_After_Midnight)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2017, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solution-to-the-trump-problem/777499/3 "2017-01-19T03:13:17Z")
King Donald I of Murica. It would be interesting to see what succession laws he would constitute. With primogeniture, it would be firstborn Donald Jr who would become the next Murican king after King Don. Or he could choose ultimogeniture, in which case his heir would be the youngest-born, Barron, son of his current wife. Or perhaps an elective monarchy, in which case it would probably be Ivanka (and Jared)? Or gavelkind, in which case the demesne would be distributed between the children? Other decisions for the king to make regarding succession would be the gender laws: agnatic (only males can inherit), agnatic-cognatic (women can only inherit if there are no eligible males) or absolute cognatic (women inherit on equal terms with men). ---
**Author:** ![dtilque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d6d6ee/32.png) [@dtilque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dtilque)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2017, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solution-to-the-trump-problem/777499/4 "2017-01-19T03:13:49Z")
> [@Gatopescado](#): > > Where did you come up with this ridiculous notion? Gosh I don’t know. Did I wander into a redstate site by mistake? Silly me! ---
**Author:** ![septimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/septimus/32/410_2.png) [@septimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/septimus)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2017, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solution-to-the-trump-problem/777499/5 "2017-01-19T05:59:47Z")
Speaking seriously, OP seems like a good idea but I don’t think there is any likely mechanism for it to happen. (Except to the extent that it will already happen, with DJT the “idea” man exchanging tweets with Putin at 3 AM, while Jared, Ivanka and Pence run the country.) I think Trump is grown up enough to just want money with which to buy his power. A billion dollars would have been plenty, I think, to have bought him off before the election. It’s too bad a few altruistic super-rich guys didn’t take him golfing in October and offer him a huge sum to withdraw from the election [del]or to say super-outrageous things to ensure his defeat[/del]. Trying it now would be an expensive gamble — the Trump might actually make a better President than wingnut Pence. (For all I know, something like this _was_ tried but unsuccessfully, following the path I mentioned in [del]rub-out text[/del] above.) ---
**Author:** ![dtilque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d6d6ee/32.png) [@dtilque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dtilque)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2017, 8:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solution-to-the-trump-problem/777499/6 "2017-01-19T08:45:44Z")
Personally, I rarely speak seriously in MPSIMS. I figure it’s for frivolous posts, so you can assume pretty all my posts are in that mode. But I agree that replacing him with Pence is not a good idea. If anything, Pence will have too much say in what goes on in the Trump “Administration”. BTW, please don’t use his initials. Those are also my initials and I’m not happy his are the same. ---
**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2017, 10:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solution-to-the-trump-problem/777499/7 "2017-01-19T10:30:05Z")
> [@dtilque](#): > > And any nominees for other board members? Hmmm. On reflection, I assume we want to populate this board with people who would be dangerous in positions of real power. (My first thought was Sarah Palin as a board member, but then I realized she is pretty harmless these days, so why waste a perfectly good slot on her?) I dunno…maybe all of Trump’s cabinet nominees could join him on the board? ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2017, 10:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solution-to-the-trump-problem/777499/8 "2017-01-19T10:40:42Z")
The ONLY reason Trump ever wanted to be president has been to further his own bottom line… the only thing he’s ever cared about. Re-negotiate trade deals, relax taxation, etc., so he can make more money. Once he’s accomplished these things, his presidency will be over. If this power is denied him, he’ll lash out like a spoiled child. ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2017, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solution-to-the-trump-problem/777499/9 "2017-01-19T12:51:23Z")
\*\*Solution to the Trump problem \*\* Trump IS the solution. He’s not the problem. The problem is whining snowflakes and I don’t know if that problem is fixable. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2017, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solution-to-the-trump-problem/777499/10 "2017-01-19T15:29:40Z")
> [@Clothahump](#): > > \*\*Solution to the Trump problem > \*\* > > Trump IS the solution. He’s not the problem. The problem is whining snowflakes and I don’t know if that problem is fixable. Hush. Grownups are talking. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2017, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solution-to-the-trump-problem/777499/11 "2017-01-19T16:42:27Z")
I say we create the position of **King**. It would have the appearance of power, but no actual political power. Kinda like British or Japanese royalty. Consider Mark Twain’s argument from _A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court_: > [@](#): > > I urged that kings were dangerous. He said, then have cats. He was sure that a royal family of cats would answer every purpose. They would be as useful as any other royal family, they would know as much, they would have the same virtues and the same treacheries, the same disposition to get up shindies with other royal cats, they would be laughable vain and absurd and never know it, they would be wholly inexpensive, finally, they would have as sound a divine right as any other royal house…The worship of royalty being founded in unreason, these graceful and harmless cats would easily become as sacred as any other royalties, and indeed more so, because it would presently be noticed that they hanged nobody, beheaded nobody, imprisoned nobody, inflicted no cruelties or injustices of any sort, and so must be worthy of a deeper love and reverence than the customary human king, and would certainly get it. Trump could be our Cat-King. Although just a regular Cat would be cheaper and less dangerous. ---
**Author:** ![BeepKillBeep](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9e8a1a/32.png) [@BeepKillBeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BeepKillBeep)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2017, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solution-to-the-trump-problem/777499/12 "2017-01-19T17:21:57Z")
> [@Clothahump](#): > > \*\*Solution to the Trump problem > \*\* > > Trump IS the solution. He’s not the problem. The problem is whining snowflakes and I don’t know if that problem is fixable. If the problem is - how to enrich Trump - improve Russia’s geopolitical situation - set back America on social issues - reduce progress at addressing climate change - undermine American freedom and liberty, especially with respect to the 1st amendment then I agree. And yes you can call me a “whining snowflake” if you like, but assuming you’re using the standard definition of “special snowflake”, it won’t be true. ---
**Author:** ![dtilque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d6d6ee/32.png) [@dtilque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dtilque)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2017, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solution-to-the-trump-problem/777499/13 "2017-01-19T20:50:45Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > Trump could be our Cat-King. King and Chairman would be basically the same thing. The main difference is that one is considered hereditary. We may have use for the spot in the future, so I figured we go with the non-hereditary position. ---
**Author:** ![Nawth\_Chucka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c57346/32.png) [@Nawth\_Chucka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nawth_Chucka)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2017, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solution-to-the-trump-problem/777499/14 "2017-01-19T21:11:23Z")
> [@Clothahump](#): > > \*\*Solution to the Trump problem > \*\* > > Trump IS the solution. He’s not the problem. The problem is whining snowflakes and I don’t know if that problem is fixable. > [@QuickSilver](#): > > Hush. Grownups are talking. He can’t help it, **Quicksilver** , that’s his only line. It’s all he gets to say and one of these days he’s sure it won’t make him look like a screaming asshole - just you wait! Name Donald to the highest role he can imagine, First Lady of Russia. He’s got the moves and attitude, just slide him the furs and crown. ---
**Author:** ![gnoitall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bb73d2/32.png) [@gnoitall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gnoitall)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2017, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solution-to-the-trump-problem/777499/15 "2017-01-19T21:23:33Z")
> [@Walken\_After\_Midnight](#): > > King Donald I of Murica. > > It would be interesting to see what succession laws he would constitute. With primogeniture, it would be firstborn Donald Jr who would become the next Murican king after King Don. Or he could choose ultimogeniture, in which case his heir would be the youngest-born, Barron, son of his current wife. Or perhaps an elective monarchy, in which case it would probably be Ivanka (and Jared)? Or gavelkind, in which case the demesne would be distributed between the children? > > Other decisions for the king to make regarding succession would be the gender laws: agnatic (only males can inherit), agnatic-cognatic (women can only inherit if there are no eligible males) or absolute cognatic (women inherit on equal terms with men). No one succeeded to the “throne” of [Norton I, Emperor of the United States and Protector of Mexico](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emperor_Norton), right? Sounds like the perfect job. ---
**Author:** ![dtilque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d6d6ee/32.png) [@dtilque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dtilque)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2017, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solution-to-the-trump-problem/777499/16 "2017-01-19T21:33:24Z")
> [@Nawth\_Chucka](#): > > Name Donald to the highest role he can imagine, First Lady of Russia. He’s got the moves and attitude, just slide him the furs and crown. Better yet, make him Tsarina up front and in the open, and stop pretending Putin is not the Tsar.