# Solve Harry Potter problems with Muggle Solutions
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solve-harry-potter-problems-with-muggle-solutions/523030
**Category:** Cafe Society
**Created:** [December 30, 2009, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solve-harry-potter-problems-with-muggle-solutions/523030 "2009-12-30T07:15:00Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@AK84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AK84)
#### Post date: [December 30, 2009, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solve-harry-potter-problems-with-muggle-solutions/523030/1 "2009-12-30T07:15:00Z")
What I can come up with.
Death Eaters; Barrett M82 Sniper Rifle.
Centaurs; Someone should tell Umbridge, you don’t need a wand, you need a Cattleprod when dealing with them.
Dementors: I mean they are supposed to be freezing cold, so use infra red. Figure it out.
Lib Research; use a computer damit.
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### Author:  [@Shawn1767](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shawn1767)
#### Post date: [December 30, 2009, 8:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solve-harry-potter-problems-with-muggle-solutions/523030/2 "2009-12-30T08:30:00Z")
Or how about using your hand on your spoon to stir some tea? I never understood that. It seems as if magic (and psychic) powers are always wasted on idiots. In one of the HP movies, there is a scene where Harry walks into a place and there is a guy there stirring his cup with a spoon but his hand is hovering over the spoon and he’s waving his hand over it to stir his beverage. He’s essentially doing the same action and using the same energy as if he were just holding the spoon to stir his drink, yet he apparently feels the need to use magic to do so. You know, why not just conjure up an already perfectly-stirred beverage to begin with? You can have a spell to move a damned spoon, but you can’t have a spell to have the right proportion of sugar or cream?
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### Author:  [@AK84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AK84)
#### Post date: [December 30, 2009, 10:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solve-harry-potter-problems-with-muggle-solutions/523030/3 "2009-12-30T10:17:35Z")
You can’t conjure food apparently.
Heres another one, when meeting with the Muggle PM, you know the guy who could with one order solve your death eater problem (_we have located the malfoy manor, commencing launch sequence_!) try and not be condecnding.
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### Author:  [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)
#### Post date: [December 30, 2009, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solve-harry-potter-problems-with-muggle-solutions/523030/4 "2009-12-30T13:47:53Z")
> [@AK84](#):
>
> You can’t conjure food apparently.
Sure you can. The meals at Hogwarts are conjured - Dumbledore just waves his hands and kaboom, a huge feast appears on the table.
I’m sure at some point Rowling wrote you can’t conjure food, but in fact it’s done many times (mostly by Dumbledore) but then on innumerable other occasions wizards act as if they’ve forgotten you can conjure food. The HP universe is wildly illogical and inconsistent, so there’s not a lot of point in trying to fanwank this stuff.
I’d agree that the most obvious solution to the Death Eater problem is the British Army. Unless a wizard has specifically raised a spell that will shield them from powerful projectiles, a 5.56 bullet will kill them just as well as it’ll kill anyone, and they don’t seem to have any conception of fighting someone further away than a hundred yards, or concealmet, or anything like that. Indeed, there seems to be no _soldiering_ in the wizard world; the Ministry of Magic has a law enforcement organization, but not a military, and Voldemort’s people are just thugs. Their methods of defense and fighting are specifically tailored to fight other wizards, not soldiers. Against a Muggle army (which would presumably have to be allowed access into the magic world with a little help from friendly wizards) they’d be preposterously unprepared for professional killers shooting at them from beyond visual range, and would collapse in terror and panic in about two days.
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### Author:  [@Uzi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uzi)
#### Post date: [December 30, 2009, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solve-harry-potter-problems-with-muggle-solutions/523030/5 "2009-12-30T13:51:32Z")
> [@RickJay](#):
>
> Sure you can. The meals at Hogwarts are conjured - Dumbledore just waves his hands and kaboom, a huge feat appears on the table.
I think he conjures the food from the kitchens where the elves work. But, who really knows. JK makes it up as she goes along with little worry about the consequences.
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### Author:  [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)
#### Post date: [December 30, 2009, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solve-harry-potter-problems-with-muggle-solutions/523030/6 "2009-12-30T13:59:43Z")
The house elves work in the kitchen and have different magic than the wizards. Also, the food might not be conjured but transported.
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### Author:  [@Snickers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snickers)
#### Post date: [December 30, 2009, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solve-harry-potter-problems-with-muggle-solutions/523030/7 "2009-12-30T14:04:10Z")
That’s one thing that I liked about the highly-derivative Eragon series of books - while you could use magic to do things that you could also do regularly (such as stir your tea), it would cost you more energy to do so. The idea being that you’d only use magic for things you couldn’t do normally.
I’m not certain whether the conceit holds up in all the books - I’ll have to admit I didn’t pay close enough attention.
And I’m also sure this idea isn’t new to the Eragon books, either - it’s likely the author got it from somewhere else, I just don’t know where.
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### Author:  [@ricksummon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ricksummon)
#### Post date: [December 30, 2009, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solve-harry-potter-problems-with-muggle-solutions/523030/8 "2009-12-30T14:17:03Z")
> [@runner pat](#):
>
> Also, the food might not be conjured but transported.
Correct; the food isn’t created from nothing, but simply transported from the kitchens to the Great Hall. As we D&D players would say, it’s the difference between Conjuration (creation) and Conjuration (summoning).
(Of course, D&D spellcasters _can_ create food out of nothing, so _there!_)
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### Author:  [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)
#### Post date: [December 30, 2009, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solve-harry-potter-problems-with-muggle-solutions/523030/9 "2009-12-30T14:18:21Z")
One would think the simple introduction of a spiral notebook into the Potter universe would be a revolutionary moment. Add in a ball-point pen and you’re talking crazy talk.
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### Author:  [@ricksummon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ricksummon)
#### Post date: [December 30, 2009, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solve-harry-potter-problems-with-muggle-solutions/523030/10 "2009-12-30T14:23:44Z")
I should also add that I got into a heated debate on the HP Lexicon message boards once about whether wizards could be harmed by Muggle weapons. The _Magie über Alles_ people were claiming that Hagrid’s quote in _Sorcerer’s Stone_ about how a car crash couldn’t have killed Lily and James Potter meant that wizards were immune to damage from car crashes, and, by extension, to all non-magical forms of damage. So, I started escalating the theoretical violence until I finally proposed launching a **nuclear missile** at Hogwarts.
I reconsidered, of course, because the blast would vaporize Gryffindor Tower, but the Slytherins would be safe in their bunker underneath the lake. A post-apocalyptic world where only Slytherins survive is just too horrible to contemplate! So, I decided it would be better to smuggle a suitcase nuke onto the Hogwarts Express disguised as a Slytherin student’s trunk and set it to go off at 1 AM. Take _that,_ Draco! 🙂
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### Author:  [@ricksummon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ricksummon)
#### Post date: [December 30, 2009, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solve-harry-potter-problems-with-muggle-solutions/523030/11 "2009-12-30T14:36:02Z")
> [@Shawn1767](#):
>
> Or how about using your hand on your spoon to stir some tea? I never understood that.
It’s just the wizarding world’s philosophy of _Magie über Alles,_ and I don’t just mean Herr Grindelwald here. It’s everyone. Wizards have to constantly boost their egos by proving to themselves just how superior they are to Muggles. Thus, if a thing can be done by magic, it _will_ be done by magic for no other reason than because wizards _can_ and Muggles _can’t._
How else can you explain _The Invisible Book of Invisibility_ and _The Monster Book of Monsters?_ Why would anyone create a schoolbook that tries to bite you? What practical purpose does it serve? But, wizards don’t care about practical. All they see is that a book that can bite you is _magical,_ and therefore superior to an ordinary Muggle book that can’t.
However, I should point out that Fred and George are notable exceptions to this philosophy. They care about doing mischief, not magic. In _Chamber of Secrets,_ they knew how to pick locks the Muggle way because if they used magic to do it, they’d get pinged by the Ministry’s underage magic detectors. Magical ego isn’t as important to them as not getting caught.
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### Author:  [@AK84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AK84)
#### Post date: [December 30, 2009, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solve-harry-potter-problems-with-muggle-solutions/523030/12 "2009-12-30T15:19:22Z")
And won’t controlling Dragons and Giants be easier if you had (slightly upped) Taser’s? You could zap Hagrid if he got annoying.
Plus Security Cameras. _Oh shyt Voldy is here lets Apparate_ instead of _lets put a charm and hope no one tells_.
Mobile Phones, you can text or call whenever. Could have saved Sirius life for one; _U there? Yup. 🙂_
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### Author:  [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)
#### Post date: [December 30, 2009, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solve-harry-potter-problems-with-muggle-solutions/523030/13 "2009-12-30T15:24:08Z")
> [@ricksummon](#):
>
> It’s just the wizarding world’s philosophy of _Magie über Alles,_ and I don’t just mean Herr Grindelwald here. It’s everyone. Wizards have to constantly boost their egos by proving to themselves just how superior they are to Muggles. Thus, if a thing can be done by magic, it _will_ be done by magic for no other reason than because wizards _can_ and Muggles _can’t._
Or it could be a case of “when you’ve got a hammer, everything looks like a nail.”
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### Author:  [@ricksummon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ricksummon)
#### Post date: [December 30, 2009, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solve-harry-potter-problems-with-muggle-solutions/523030/14 "2009-12-30T15:31:27Z")
[QUOTE=AK84]
Mobile Phones, you can text or call whenever. Could have saved Sirius life for one; _U there? Yup. 🙂_
[/QUOTE]
Funny you should mention that, since Sirius gave Harry a magic mirror to do just that, and Harry only remembered having it _after_ Sirius was dead. Mr. Potter was experiencing what we in the tech support business call an ID-10-T error. 😃
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### Author:  [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)
#### Post date: [December 30, 2009, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solve-harry-potter-problems-with-muggle-solutions/523030/15 "2009-12-30T16:50:01Z")
> [@Munch](#):
>
> One would think the simple introduction of a spiral notebook into the Potter universe would be a revolutionary moment. Add in a ball-point pen and you’re talking crazy talk.
I just gave myself a laugh by imagining a scene where someone brings in a ball-point pen and everyone in the classroom stops and looks at him. Someone in the back: "My god, he’s a witch! Burn him!‘’
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### Author:  [@AK84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AK84)
#### Post date: [December 30, 2009, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solve-harry-potter-problems-with-muggle-solutions/523030/16 "2009-12-30T17:50:36Z")
Well it seems that you have magic or you have sense and logic. You can’t have both. I mean parchment!
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### Author:  [@AK84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AK84)
#### Post date: [December 30, 2009, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solve-harry-potter-problems-with-muggle-solutions/523030/17 "2009-12-30T17:53:49Z")
> [@ricksummon](#):
>
> I should also add that I got into a heated debate on the HP Lexicon message boards once about whether wizards could be harmed by Muggle weapons. The _Magie über Alles_ people were claiming that Hagrid’s quote in _Sorcerer’s Stone_ about how a car crash couldn’t have killed Lily and James Potter meant that wizards were immune to damage from car crashes, and, by extension, to all non-magical forms of damage.
Did’nt Fred die as a result of an explosion? In a battle at the ministry Harry wounded a death eater by causing glass to explode next to him./
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### Author:  [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)
#### Post date: [December 30, 2009, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solve-harry-potter-problems-with-muggle-solutions/523030/18 "2009-12-30T18:11:22Z")
> [@Snickers](#):
>
> And I’m also sure this idea isn’t new to the Eragon books, either - it’s likely the author got it from somewhere else, I just don’t know where.
In Tolkien’s middle earth, using magic consistently costs the user in physical and psychological ways.
The idea that using magic is free and without consequence is one of the things I don’t like the Potter books, but it does explain why wizards won’t use muggle technology for anything except moving food from plate to mouth.
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### Author:  [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)
#### Post date: [December 30, 2009, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solve-harry-potter-problems-with-muggle-solutions/523030/19 "2009-12-30T18:13:26Z")
> [@AK84](#):
>
> Did’nt Fred die as a result of an explosion? In a battle at the ministry Harry wounded a death eater by causing glass to explode next to him./
I don’t recall. I’ve taken Hagrid’s comments about “No car crash could have killed your parents” to mean that they would have apparted away, or that they would not have been in a car in the first place.
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### Author:  [@Shawn1767](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shawn1767)
#### Post date: [December 30, 2009, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solve-harry-potter-problems-with-muggle-solutions/523030/20 "2009-12-30T18:18:09Z")
OKay, this may be related, and I don’t want to hijack the thread, but I wanted to mention this. Regarding the use of bullets and projectiles against death eaters, I thought the same thing about the Gungans in Episode I. Okay, they have this force field that is impenetrable to energy weapons, yet the battledroids can walk right through it. I mean, once you figured out they had an energy shield, couldn’t you just say “Okay, switch to bullets!” and slice right through the Gungans’s shield?
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