# Solve Harry Potter problems with Muggle Solutions **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 30, 2009, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solve-harry-potter-problems-with-muggle-solutions/523030 "2009-12-30T07:15:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![BlankSlate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blankslate/32/80_2.png) [@BlankSlate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlankSlate)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2009, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solve-harry-potter-problems-with-muggle-solutions/523030/61 "2009-12-31T18:20:28Z")
> [@Anne\_Neville](#): > > Neville Longbottom could have used a good lawyer, to sue Hogwarts for letting Snape harass him the way he did. _Professor_ Snape, Anne. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2009, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solve-harry-potter-problems-with-muggle-solutions/523030/62 "2009-12-31T18:44:28Z")
[Quote=Xan] It’s what I like about The Dresden Files series. Harry Dresden can’t use high tech stuff because magic users tend to make electronics go kablooey when near them. [/quote] [Quote=Lumpy] Which is why he carries a .44 Magnum revolver instead of a semi-automatic. [/quote] > [@muldoonthief](#): > > Seriously? No electronics in any semiauto pistol I’ve ever seen. And unless you’re willing to let a semiauto user get off one shot before your spell stops him, there’s not much difference between the two - just freeze the hammer and it won’t go off. In the Dresden universe, magic not only effects electronics badly but even on purely mechanical devices has a sort of magnified Murphy’s Law effect. In other words, if your semiautomatic will ordinarily jam or misfeed on average once every thousand rounds, in the presence of magic will do so every four or five rounds. The point of a revolver is that there is less that can go wrong because something was a thousandth of an inch off. ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2009, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solve-harry-potter-problems-with-muggle-solutions/523030/63 "2009-12-31T19:10:03Z")
Why does Argus Filch keep his job? You’d think Hogwarts would want someone who can do magic as their janitor. Or why wasn’t he fired for collaborating with Umbridge? And after what happened to Mrs Norris, why on earth does he _want_ to keep that job? If something happened to one of my cats that could easily have killed them, and whatever it was happened because of my job, I’d put in my notice there and then, and look for something safer. It’s not as if he likes his job, either. He’s got a sucky job in a dangerous environment. I’m sure there are problems with looking for employment with an apparent gap in your resume, but is that really a problem for janitorial-type jobs? He could even go freelance as a Muggle housecleaner if he wanted to. At least Mrs Norris would be safe, and he wouldn’t have to deal with poltergeists or teenagers who look down on him because he can’t do magic. Being a janitor at, say, the Ministry of Magic or Gringotts would be another job that would suit him better than Hogwarts. Lots fewer kids at either place. If you hate kids, working in a boarding school probably isn’t the best career choice, y’know? Filch could definitely use some career counseling. ---
**Author:** ![AK84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85e7bf/32.png) [@AK84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AK84)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2009, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solve-harry-potter-problems-with-muggle-solutions/523030/64 "2009-12-31T19:22:11Z")
He is the worst of both worlds. He has no magic and yet lacks education and knowledge about the Muggle World to sirvive there. He was probably delighted to get whatever job he could. ---
**Author:** ![ricksummon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ricksummon/32/3333_2.png) [@ricksummon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ricksummon)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2009, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solve-harry-potter-problems-with-muggle-solutions/523030/65 "2009-12-31T20:18:48Z")
> [@Mrs.Cake](#): > > First thing I thought of was to set up a business doing pre-employment background checks and drug tests, and signing on Hogawarts as the first clients. Way too many dangerous loons getting hired on as teaching staff there. What those folks need is a paladin to check all prospective teachers with _detect evil._ Of course, it would make for some mighty short books, but it would at least quell all the angst about Professor Snape. **Harry:** Professor Snape is _evil,_ I tell you! _Evil!_ **Celeste the Paladin:** (invokes _detect evil_) Nope. **Harry:** But how do you know he’s not using _undetectable alignment?_ **Humbert the Warden Archon:** (invokes _unerring assay_, which is unaffected by most methods of alignment concealment) I’m sure. He’s a solid N. **Snape:** You see? I’m not _evil_, I’m _true neutral!_ Oh, and I am totally _not_ a woman. **Harry:** You would _fireball_ a peasant, though. **Snape:** _Really,_ Potter. A 3rd-level spell on a 0-level peasant? And you wonder why I doubt your academic skills. **Flynn the Fine:** (sings) _Shut up, dear Harry, rest your head, or I’ll let the Death Eaters kill your ass dead!_ (dies) ---
**Author:** ![Xan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/ac8455/32.png) [@Xan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xan)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2009, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solve-harry-potter-problems-with-muggle-solutions/523030/66 "2009-12-31T20:55:55Z")
> [@Lumpy](#): > > In the Dresden universe, magic not only effects electronics badly but even on purely mechanical devices has a sort of magnified Murphy’s Law effect. In other words, if your semiautomatic will ordinarily jam or misfeed on average once every thousand rounds, in the presence of magic will do so every four or five rounds. The point of a revolver is that there is less that can go wrong because something was a thousandth of an inch off. I was just going to say that. He mentions in the books that generally stuff made after 1950 tends to malfunction and or fry when he’s around. ---
**Author:** ![E-Sabbath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19adc/32.png) [@E-Sabbath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-Sabbath)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2009, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solve-harry-potter-problems-with-muggle-solutions/523030/67 "2009-12-31T22:09:48Z")
Of course, there’s another reason Harry has a .44 magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world. ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2009, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solve-harry-potter-problems-with-muggle-solutions/523030/68 "2009-12-31T22:13:42Z")
I think in this thread we should specify which wizard Harry we’re talking about. ---
**Author:** ![E-Sabbath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19adc/32.png) [@E-Sabbath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-Sabbath)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2010, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solve-harry-potter-problems-with-muggle-solutions/523030/69 "2010-01-01T03:36:26Z")
Well, yes, but I think the handgun would have solved Mr. Potter’s problems quite nicely as well… ---
**Author:** ![AK84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85e7bf/32.png) [@AK84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AK84)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2010, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solve-harry-potter-problems-with-muggle-solutions/523030/70 "2010-01-01T12:28:43Z")
The Second task, scuba gear. ---
**Author:** ![Staale\_Nordlie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Staale\_Nordlie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Staale_Nordlie)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2010, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solve-harry-potter-problems-with-muggle-solutions/523030/71 "2010-01-01T12:52:17Z")
> [@E-Sabbath](#): > > Well, yes, but I think the handgun would have solved Mr. Potter’s problems quite nicely as well… [Dirty Potter and the Deathly Hallows](http://i33.tinypic.com/11lo56g.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![AK84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85e7bf/32.png) [@AK84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AK84)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2010, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solve-harry-potter-problems-with-muggle-solutions/523030/72 "2010-01-01T14:39:28Z")
^ LOL. Made my day. ---
**Author:** ![muldoonthief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muldoonthief/32/3188_2.png) [@muldoonthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muldoonthief)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2010, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solve-harry-potter-problems-with-muggle-solutions/523030/73 "2010-01-01T18:40:33Z")
> [@Anne\_Neville](#): > > If you hate kids, working in a boarding school probably isn’t the best career choice, y’know? It depends. If you hate kids, and therefore want nothing to do with them, then working in a boarding school isn’t your best choice. If you hate kids, **and therefore delight in tormenting them** , then caretaker of a boarding school with fairly loose rules about what you can do to the students is ideal. ---
**Author:** ![AK84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85e7bf/32.png) [@AK84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AK84)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2010, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solve-harry-potter-problems-with-muggle-solutions/523030/74 "2010-01-01T19:08:27Z")
Insurance would be another good thing. Especially in Hogwarts, lots of kids with wands hexing each other. Wonder what the premiums would be like. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/solve-harry-potter-problems-with-muggle-solutions/523030.md?page=3)