# Some advice for Mr. Trump, if he really wants to become dictator. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 5, 2020, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-advice-for-mr-trump-if-he-really-wants-to-become-dictator/851107 "2020-04-05T04:31:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Big\_Norse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/big_norse/32/9954_2.png) [@Big\_Norse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Big_Norse)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2020, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-advice-for-mr-trump-if-he-really-wants-to-become-dictator/851107/1 "2020-04-05T04:31:44Z")
Hey buddy, you’re dropping the ball on your move to become all powerful, here’s some advice to move forward in these efforts (have one of your toadies read it to you, reading is hard work and really beneath you, you’re not some kind of poindexter who reads, sheesh). You want to be a dictator like some of your closest friends, but dude, you have to stifle the media first. They’re being really lippy to you these days, and just calling them names won’t do the trick. Take that little lady that called you on Kushner’s stockpile [comment](https://www.politico.com/news/2020/04/03/strategic-national-stockpile-description-altered-after-kushners-remarks-163181) (“it’s not for the states, it’s for us”). You should have had her killed on the spot. Your buddy [Vladimir](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poisoning_of_Alexander_Litvinenko) could have given you some tips, he’s killed plenty, and dude, Kushner has Crown Prince Mohammed bin [Salman](https://www.nytimes.com/2018/12/08/world/middleeast/saudi-mbs-jared-kushner.html) on speed dial, [Maduro](https://www.cjr.org/the_media_today/venezuela_crisis_maduro_trump.php) knew to at least get most of them out of the country. Honey, your comeback was that she has a “[nasty tone](https://www.mediaite.com/tv/trump-lashes-out-at-cbs-jiang-for-nasty-tone-on-question-about-federal-stockpile-you-ought-to-be-ashamed/)”, weak sauce, seriously weak sauce. She’s obviously Asian, you should have blamed her for the [Chinese virus](https://www.aljazeera.com/programmes/newsfeed/2020/03/trump-defends-calling-coronavirus-chinese-virus-200323102618665.html). Yeah, some liberal pinktards may point out that just because she’s of Asian descent doesn’t mean she’s Chinese, but come on, we all know that all the slant eyes are the same, right? Be incendiary enough at least to rouse your base who might just take her out for you. Lippy broads should be the first to go! So, to repeat: How to become a dictator: Step One: Kill the press! Don’t just call people who refer to themselves as “reporters” names, actually remove them! Step Two: Kaaching! Signed, Your loving worshipers who think you’re the next coming of Christ. ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2020, 6:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-advice-for-mr-trump-if-he-really-wants-to-become-dictator/851107/2 "2020-04-05T06:42:10Z")
You’ve been here since 2003, have bugger-all posts, and then you post this magnificent screed? Post more dude, pretty please? ---
**Author:** ![asahi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asahi/32/8693_2.png) [@asahi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asahi)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2020, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-advice-for-mr-trump-if-he-really-wants-to-become-dictator/851107/3 "2020-04-05T13:51:49Z")
Trump’s tangles with the media are going to make him look worse in the eyes of voters because it’ll look like he’s trivializing the crisis. So why does he do it, then? The answer is obvious: it takes oxygen away from his opposition. Does anyone even talk about Biden anymore? I would not put it past Trump to use this crisis to disrupt the election in November, or to de-legitimize the outcome. Either way, this could lead to an authoritarian crisis. ---
**Author:** ![Big\_Norse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/big_norse/32/9954_2.png) [@Big\_Norse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Big_Norse)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2020, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-advice-for-mr-trump-if-he-really-wants-to-become-dictator/851107/4 "2020-04-05T13:52:13Z")
It had been bottled up so long I finally had to let it out. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2020, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-advice-for-mr-trump-if-he-really-wants-to-become-dictator/851107/5 "2020-04-05T13:57:09Z")
::Slow Golf Clap:: But careful, let’s not give him any ideas. Oh wait, never mind, he is immune to advice. ---
**Author:** ![Big\_Norse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/big_norse/32/9954_2.png) [@Big\_Norse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Big_Norse)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2020, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-advice-for-mr-trump-if-he-really-wants-to-become-dictator/851107/6 "2020-04-05T15:59:36Z")
It’s sad to watch a wannabe strongman floundering in the face of criticism. Yelling “nu-uh” at reporters just doesn’t have the oomph a true generalissimo needs! ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2020, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-advice-for-mr-trump-if-he-really-wants-to-become-dictator/851107/7 "2020-04-05T16:07:02Z")
I still can’t get over “No puppet! No puppet! YOU’RE the puppet!” at the second Hillary debate. “The election is in the bag!” I chortled to myself. “This guy sounds like a second grader during recess!” Ah, me. ---
**Author:** ![Big\_Norse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/big_norse/32/9954_2.png) [@Big\_Norse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Big_Norse)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2020, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-advice-for-mr-trump-if-he-really-wants-to-become-dictator/851107/8 "2020-04-06T00:57:38Z")
His childishness continues to know no bounds: [ul] [li]His need to bring up the “[perfect call](https://nymag.com/intelligencer/2020/03/trump-coronavirus-testing-as-perfect-as-ukraine-call.html)” during his update on the status of corona testing [/li][li]The fact that him being [impeached delayed his response to the whole crisis](https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2020/03/31/coronavirus-trump-says-impeachment-distracted-him-coronavirus/5100694002/)[/li][li]Aaaand of course it’s [Obama’s fault](https://www.factcheck.org/2020/03/trumps-misplaced-blame-on-obama-for-coronavirus-tests/)![/li][/ul] The fact that I found all these links so easily goes to show that he’s not throttling the press enough…but…I’m probably on some list now! Which reminds me, I’ve been waiting to hear out about Trump’s enemies list a la [Dick Nixon](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nixon%27s_Enemies_List) (if Trump were literate, he’d have studied Nixon’s methods and taken notes of where he went wrong). ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2020, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-advice-for-mr-trump-if-he-really-wants-to-become-dictator/851107/9 "2020-04-06T05:51:44Z")
It’s likely that the only fault that he’d see with Nixon was that Nixon got caught. And didn’t start screeching like a harpy that he didn’t say what he actually said. Nixon was too passive. He didn’t get aggressive enough in his denials. And he had a Senate who, at least that time, put country before party. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2020, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-advice-for-mr-trump-if-he-really-wants-to-become-dictator/851107/10 "2020-04-06T15:34:28Z")
I doubt Trump paid much attention to Watergate. “I like guys who don’t get caught.”