# Some arrogant ass got paid for this Two Towers review?!? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 18, 2002, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-arrogant-ass-got-paid-for-this-two-towers-review/143644 "2002-12-18T20:50:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2002, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-arrogant-ass-got-paid-for-this-two-towers-review/143644/21 "2002-12-19T06:06:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jester \* > \*\*So what if the elves showed up at Helm’s Deep? It doesn’t change the course of the battle or anything, and it helps to show the elves’ eventual decision to help men fight Sauron. (I may be wrong, but don’t the elves fight in “Return of the King”?) > \*\* [nitpick]The elves never join their armies to those of men in ROTK. The elves of Lothlorien and the elves of Mirkwood attack Sauron’s stronghold at Dol Guldur (in Southern Mirkwood) while the Lords of the West are facing Sauron at the Black Gate. And the Dwarves of the Lonely Mountain join the men of Dale against Sauron’s forces in the north. But with the exception of Legolas and the sons of Elrond, elves do not fight alongside men[/nitpick] Not having seen this movie yet, I’m not sure I feel like I have a dog in this fight. I did bristle at David Elliott’s review, as he betrayed the fact that he seems to lack even a passing familiarity with the source material. I don’t know that assigning reviewing duties on this project to a Tolkien geek would have been a good choice, but it would have been respectful to have sent a reviewer who understood LOTR as literature enough to have an awareness of why these films are significant in their mere existence. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2002, 6:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-arrogant-ass-got-paid-for-this-two-towers-review/143644/22 "2002-12-19T06:09:02Z")
Aw, darnit. Could some kindly mod please fix my spoiler tag? ---
**Author:** ![grendel72](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/91b2a8/32.png) [@grendel72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grendel72)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2002, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-arrogant-ass-got-paid-for-this-two-towers-review/143644/23 "2002-12-19T06:39:50Z")
Note to the critic: Pretentious and stupid really don’t go well together. If you want to act like you are “above” the films you review, try not to show that the reason you didn’t like it was your complete and utter ignorance. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2002, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-arrogant-ass-got-paid-for-this-two-towers-review/143644/24 "2002-12-19T14:11:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Cisco \* > \*\*Ok, add those. Now you’ve got 9 admittedly major inconsistencies in the plot. Add Eomer’s exile and you’ve got 10. > > I just think that it was possible to be as faithful as to not include _ten_ major plot inconsistencies.\*\* Actually, I don’t think it would be possible. If you remained absolutely faithful to the source material, you’d either end up with a terrible, eight-hour-long movie, or (if you abbreviated hugely, but didn’t add anything) you’d seriously weaken the film. “The Two Towers” as it’s structured is not particularly filmable, IMHO. It would make a crappy movie if it were adapted absolutely literally. What works on a page does not work on celluloid. Movies are not books, books are not movies. COMMENTS ON SPOILERS: Guys, I don’t think you can technically give away a spoiler on a 50-year-old story. ---
**Author:** ![Apos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/838e76/32.png) [@Apos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Apos)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2002, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-arrogant-ass-got-paid-for-this-two-towers-review/143644/25 "2002-12-19T15:32:37Z")
—Add Eomer’s exile and you’ve got 10— I haven’t seen the movie, so I don’t quite know what you are reffering to, but in the book, Eomer is quasi-exlied for riding without leave, just not all that explicitly. —It doesn’t change the course of the battle or anything, and it helps to show the elves’ eventual decision to help men fight Sauron. (I may be wrong, but don’t the elves fight in “Return of the King”?)— How many Elves are there? If just a few, it isn’t really a huge change, they just arrived a little early. They’d better be carrying a black standard with them though… —With all the stuff from the book that was left out I can’t help but think that it could’ve been included had Jackson not been trying to cram his own stuff in.— I agree. Arwen at the fords was dead-weight, and killed her character for me (someone bursting into weepy tears over a person she’d never even met and calling out his name? All my strength to you? Please.) Sam drowning in slo-mo was totally unecessary, and spent three to four minutes that could have been spent elsewhere. Most importantly would have been the “cloak of many colors” interchange. Just adding those FEW lines and the cloak would have made Sauruman into a real character, with depth, and told us infinately more about the character of humble Gandalf the Grey (and the importance of him becoming Gandalf the White). And it would have added almost no time to the movie, especially if you cut out some of the other fluff and slo-mo. And what… WHAT was up with Gandalf simply falling at the Bridge? The godamn Balrog’s whip was supposed to DRAG him down. The way they had it, he just sort of lets go for no reason! ---
**Author:** ![Mojo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Mojo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mojo)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2002, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-arrogant-ass-got-paid-for-this-two-towers-review/143644/26 "2002-12-19T15:51:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by RickJay \* > COMMENTS ON SPOILERS: Guys, I don’t think you can technically give away a spoiler on a 50-year-old story. I think there’s a LOT of people who haven’t read the books but have seen/will see the movie (esp. considering how many people were grumbling at the ending of FoTR in the theatre where I saw it), the reviewer I mentioned as providing the spoiler being one of them. ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2002, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-arrogant-ass-got-paid-for-this-two-towers-review/143644/27 "2002-12-19T16:53:12Z")
And for that matter, a hearty Fuck You to the kind folks in this thread posting spoilers about the inconsistencies in the movie. No, not you **kayla’s dad**. You’re fine. But thanks a whole fuck of a lot, **Cisco**. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2002, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-arrogant-ass-got-paid-for-this-two-towers-review/143644/28 "2002-12-19T17:39:23Z")
[spoiler] > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Apos \* > —Add Eomer’s exile and you’ve got 10— > > I haven’t seen the movie, so I don’t quite know what you are reffering to, but in the book, Eomer is quasi-exlied for riding without leave, just not all that explicitly. As I understood it, Eomer was imprisoned. When Hama the doorward was sent to fetch him, he restored to Eomer his sword. > [@](#): > > And what… WHAT was up with Gandalf simply falling at the Bridge? The godamn Balrog’s whip was supposed to DRAG him down. The way they had it, he just sort of lets go for no reason! \*\* I’m not in a position to review my DVD right now, but I’m SURE I remember the Balrog’s whip wrapping around Gandalf’s legs.[/spoiler] ---
**Author:** ![Gorgon\_Heap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f475e1/32.png) [@Gorgon\_Heap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorgon_Heap)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2002, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-arrogant-ass-got-paid-for-this-two-towers-review/143644/29 "2002-12-19T18:12:47Z")
**andros** , I know the Pit is a great place to blow off steam and argue with everyone around, but out of curiosity, do you feel that means you _have to_? Coming into a thread and saying nothing in your first couple posts except “boo-fucking-hoo” is pointless and childish. Just because you don’t feel any empathy for someone else’ rant doesn’t seem like a good reason to be disposed to come in and belittle them. Unless you really need to be a bully and stroke your ego, that is. ---
**Author:** ![FordPrefect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e99b99/32.png) [@FordPrefect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FordPrefect)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2002, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-arrogant-ass-got-paid-for-this-two-towers-review/143644/30 "2002-12-19T18:23:47Z")
kaylasdad99 But he was imprisoned because he hunted the orcs and allowed Aragorn and Co. to roam without leave on the land. Unfortunately the balrog’s whip does let go of Gandalf on the DVD, even the extended version, making the nonaction of his companions pure cowardice. ---
**Author:** ![Apos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/838e76/32.png) [@Apos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Apos)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2002, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-arrogant-ass-got-paid-for-this-two-towers-review/143644/31 "2002-12-19T19:51:27Z")
How do you do them spoiler boxes? ---
**Author:** ![Tygr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/df788c/32.png) [@Tygr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tygr)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2002, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-arrogant-ass-got-paid-for-this-two-towers-review/143644/32 "2002-12-19T19:52:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by andros \* > \*\*It happens to be a negative review of a movie you like. Boo-hoo. Suck it up. \*\* _B-Z-Z-Z-T!_ Wrong! But thanks for playing… [sub](“Suck it up”? Sorry to disappoint you, but I just don’t swing that way.)[/sub] I lose no sleep whatsoever about negative reviews of films/books/TV shows/restaurants/sports teams/amusement parks/whatever I like. There’s no accounting for taste, mine or yours or an over-paid critic’s. The point of my rant (which I guess I must have been too subtle about making, considering it flew right by you, Dr. Discernment) is that this fellow knows precisely dick about the nature of the movie he’s reviewing. There’s nothing wrong with a negative review, but THIS review is just bad. Look, I’ve resigned myself to reading any review with the knowledge that professional movie critics see SO many movies that they wind up only liking art-house flicks because they’re desperate to see something new and different. But any reviewer worth his ink has done a minimum of research about what he’s seeing before walking into the theater. However THIS guy, whom I’m certain the term “ass-hat” was coined for, complains about things which a _tiny_ amount of foreknowledge would have clarified. And he doesn’t just make complaints. He fills in the gaps in his awareness with wads of snot. Arrogance and an air of smug superiority are bad enough, but when they are based on a near-total lack of basic understanding about the subject at hand, they deserve a hearty down-smacking. And yes, thanks an ass-load to those who ignored my request to go easy with the spoilers. :mad:[sup]–Putz![/sup] ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2002, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-arrogant-ass-got-paid-for-this-two-towers-review/143644/33 "2002-12-19T20:17:47Z")
andros if you don’t want a movie spoiled then don’t read anything about it until you’ve seen it, especially not a _review_. Guess what? Gollum bites Frodo’s finger off at the end and then falls into Mt. Doom. If you don’t want to know that kind of stuff then stay the fuck out of these threads, idiot. ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2002, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-arrogant-ass-got-paid-for-this-two-towers-review/143644/34 "2002-12-19T20:23:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Cisco \* > \*\*andros if you don’t want a movie spoiled then don’t read anything about it until you’ve seen it, especially not a _review_. Guess what? Gollum bites Frodo’s finger off at the end and then falls into Mt. Doom. If you don’t want to know that kind of stuff then stay the fuck out of these threads, idiot. \*\* You mean the threads where the OP requests that spoilers are left at the door? You’re a fucking asshole, Cisco, and not just because most of your torso looks like a wrinkled up anus. ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2002, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-arrogant-ass-got-paid-for-this-two-towers-review/143644/35 "2002-12-19T20:28:26Z")
Oh get over yourself. Andros acted like a dick in every single post in this thread saying things like “boo-hoo” and asking if people want cheese with their whine and then he wants to complain about someone “spoiling” a 50 year old book? There’s one simple rule about spoilers: If you don’t want a movie spoiled for you then **don’t read anything** about it until you’ve seen, including blurbs, tidbits, **reviews** , and even taglines. Everything is a potential spoiler. ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2002, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-arrogant-ass-got-paid-for-this-two-towers-review/143644/36 "2002-12-19T20:30:44Z")
Oh, and here’s a spoiler just in case I went a little over the top with that last one: Fuck you ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2002, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-arrogant-ass-got-paid-for-this-two-towers-review/143644/37 "2002-12-19T20:34:37Z")
No, seriously, Cisco, you’re an asshole. Read the OP again, especially the last line. I could care less about what andros is whining about, even if it is about spoilers. It’s certainly possible to spoil a 50 year old book, because you cannot assume that everyone is at least 50 years old. It’s only an 18 year old book to someone who is 18 years old. If they just heard about it yesterday, it’s an 18 year old book. Is there a responsibility to keep these people spoiler virgins? No, of course not. Is there a responsibility to not act like a jerk? No, of course not, unless you want to play on these boards. Blurbs, tidbits, reviews and taglines all typically act under that general rule. Of course there are some minor spoilers, but nothing to the extent of the nugget you posted above. You posted that simply to be a jerk, and nothing more. ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2002, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-arrogant-ass-got-paid-for-this-two-towers-review/143644/38 "2002-12-19T20:37:25Z")
> [@](#): > > If they just heard about it yesterday, it’s an 18 year old book. :smack: See what happens when I get all riled up? ---
**Author:** ![Mojo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Mojo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mojo)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2002, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-arrogant-ass-got-paid-for-this-two-towers-review/143644/39 "2002-12-19T20:45:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Cisco \* > **andros if you don’t want a movie spoiled then don’t read anything about it until you’ve seen it, especially not a _review_.** Funny, I usually read reviews of movies to find out if they’re worth seeing, not because I want to read some jagoffs snotty-toned opinion with a bunch of spoilers. That includes yours. ---
**Author:** ![Apos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/838e76/32.png) [@Apos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Apos)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2002, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-arrogant-ass-got-paid-for-this-two-towers-review/143644/40 "2002-12-19T21:42:50Z")
Well, I might as well try my luck… At the end, Gandalf shoots Sauron with a gun he pulls out of his robes. Just like in Wizards. Oops… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-arrogant-ass-got-paid-for-this-two-towers-review/143644.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-arrogant-ass-got-paid-for-this-two-towers-review/143644.md?page=3)