# Some companies come and go, but Mattel goes both ways **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 9, 2000, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-companies-come-and-go-but-mattel-goes-both-ways/15764 "2000-04-09T00:20:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![BrainWeasel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@BrainWeasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainWeasel)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2000, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-companies-come-and-go-but-mattel-goes-both-ways/15764/1 "2000-04-09T00:20:00Z")
## Remember that the recent history of Barbie is marked by exaggeration to a fault. Weigh this against the ever-present possibility of lawsuit. Taking both these factors into consideration, if Mattel were to make a Lesbian Barbie, how politically correct would it be? Would they make her a “lipstick lesbian,” indistinguishable from any of the other members of the Barbie family (Little Sister Stacey, Baby Sister Kelly, Lesbian Aunt Jenny)? Or would they lean toward the other extreme, decking her out in dyke duds, offending everyone they possibly could? -BrainWeasel Squeaks from BrainWeasel’s Cage [http://brainweasel.home.att.net](http://brainweasel.home.att.net) ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2000, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-companies-come-and-go-but-mattel-goes-both-ways/15764/2 "2000-04-09T00:40:00Z")
Oh, goodie, is this the Official Mattel-Bashing Thread? Can I be first? I can? Oh, boy! ::: jumps up and down, clapping hands::: Ok, here goes: All Barbie software reeks, has an odor, smells, stinks, bites, and is otherwise unnecessary to the survival of the human race. Especially Barbie Print N Play, which frequently declines to print, and Nail Designer, which is limited in its scope, to say the least. But I reserve my greatest wrath and scorn for Barbie Storymaker, which requires the reasoning skills of a rocket scientist and the patience of a paleontologist excavating a T. rex with a toothbrush. I spit me in your general di-rection, Mattel son-of-a-hairdresser software bedwetting division. Pah! 😛 * * * “Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast!” - the White Queen ---
**Author:** ![elelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@elelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elelle)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2000, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-companies-come-and-go-but-mattel-goes-both-ways/15764/3 "2000-04-09T04:10:00Z")
I vote for Strap-On Barbie, if only to get poor nubby Ken in a tizzy. * * * The ride is short and the thrills are cheap- Men and rollercoasters. - - -Courtesy of Wally, that Signifying Guy. ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2000, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-companies-come-and-go-but-mattel-goes-both-ways/15764/4 "2000-04-09T04:15:00Z")
I always assumed Ken _liked_ strap-ons and other forms of anal penetration. I mean, come on: the styled hair, the neatly manicured hands, the coordinated clothes… the guy is **obviously** gay 😃 * * * **Defect borg: _“Refutile is sistance. Your ass will be simulated”._** * * * **WallyM7** on Coldfire: _ **"Yeah, he knows a little about everything because they have a good prison library."** _ ---
**Author:** ![spankboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@spankboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/spankboy)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2000, 10:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-companies-come-and-go-but-mattel-goes-both-ways/15764/5 "2000-04-09T10:00:00Z")
\ Did anyone else think that Billy on Ally Mc looked like the gay ‘Billy’ doll? For the uninformed, Billy is the official ‘out and proud’ doll. Big seller, here in Seattle, especially the ‘leatherman’ Billy. \ -sb * * * “This is going to take a special blend of psychology and extreme violence.” ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2000, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-companies-come-and-go-but-mattel-goes-both-ways/15764/6 "2000-04-09T16:07:00Z")
Ahem. As a Barbie collector, I can say this with certainty–Mattel will not make an official lesbian Barbie. However, the Harley-Davidson series is about as close to a “dyke duds,” (as BrainWeasel so eloquently put it) as you can get. This doll positively rules. I’m telling you, if you’ve got the bucks, get her. (we now interrupt this thread for a brief hijack) When Harley #1 Barbie came out, she was supposed to cost $65. She never hit the freaking primary market. I never saw her. The first time I saw her was at a Barbie collector’s show, selling on the secondary market, for $235. She’s now going for about $400. I am so pissed. ## (and now, back to the lesbian Barbie thread, already in progress) Cristi, Slayer of Peeps I made my husband join a bridge club. He jumps next Tuesday. (title & sig courtesy of UncleBeer and WallyM7!) ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2000, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-companies-come-and-go-but-mattel-goes-both-ways/15764/7 "2000-04-09T16:29:00Z")
[Homer Simpson] Mmmmmm. Strap on Baaaaarbie… [/Homer Simpson] ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2000, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-companies-come-and-go-but-mattel-goes-both-ways/15764/8 "2000-04-09T16:59:00Z")
Lesbo barbie is a long way off. Doyou know that just this June, shes going to have a navel? ---
**Author:** ![Shagrath\_Borgir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/46a35a/32.png) [@Shagrath\_Borgir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagrath_Borgir)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2000, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-companies-come-and-go-but-mattel-goes-both-ways/15764/9 "2000-04-10T05:18:00Z")
My favorite was always Divorce Barbie. She comes with half of Ken’s stuff… 😃 * * * “Through twilight, darkness and moonrise My scarlet tears will run As stolen blood and whispered love Of fantasies undone” ---
**Author:** ![Zico](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a88e4f/32.png) [@Zico](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zico)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2000, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-companies-come-and-go-but-mattel-goes-both-ways/15764/10 "2000-04-10T05:19:00Z")
I’m still waiting for Action Man [that’s GI Joe to you US types] to get a penis. His currently looks like it’s been run over by a tractor. ---
**Author:** ![Gilligan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Gilligan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gilligan)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2000, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-companies-come-and-go-but-mattel-goes-both-ways/15764/11 "2000-04-10T05:25:00Z")
This is the best Barbie list I’ve found: [http://incolor.inetnebr.com/kramsey/classic/barbie.htm](http://incolor.inetnebr.com/kramsey/classic/barbie.htm) But for pictures: [http://home.fuse.net/mllwyd/barbie\_catalog.html](http://home.fuse.net/mllwyd/barbie_catalog.html) [http://home.fuse.net/mllwyd/cybarb.html](http://home.fuse.net/mllwyd/cybarb.html) ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2000, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-companies-come-and-go-but-mattel-goes-both-ways/15764/12 "2000-04-10T16:24:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by **Zico** : > > I’m still waiting for Action Man [that’s GI Joe to you US types] to get a penis. As mentioned above, the Billy Doll _does_ have a penis, and quite a large one at that. Being gay has its priviledges. 🙂 Esprix * * * [Ask the Gay Guy!](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/001376.html) (or, if you prefer the Jesusfied version, [Asketh the damn Priest Guy!](http://www.askjesus.org/ask.cgi?http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/001376.html)) ---
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2000, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-companies-come-and-go-but-mattel-goes-both-ways/15764/13 "2000-04-10T19:27:00Z")
I seem to remember some San Fran company selling “Drag Queen Kenisha” and “Trailor Trash Barbie.” She came with a bottle of vodka in one hand and baby on the other hip. * * * A little persistance goes a long way. Announcing: “I go on guilt trips a couple of time a year. Mom books them for me.” A custom made Wally .sig! ---
**Author:** ![elelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@elelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elelle)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2000, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-companies-come-and-go-but-mattel-goes-both-ways/15764/14 "2000-04-10T22:24:00Z")
Hey, don’t forget Trailer Trash Kenny Wayne. He comes with a six-pack and a three wheeler, cause he lost his license. Again. * * * The ride is short and the thrills are cheap- Men and rollercoasters. - - -Courtesy of Wally, that Signifying Guy. ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2000, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-companies-come-and-go-but-mattel-goes-both-ways/15764/15 "2000-04-10T23:21:00Z")
No Lesbian Barbie? Someone please explain this then. [Barbie](http://fathom.org/opalcat/neuro-trash-barbie.jpg)