# Some crazy Junk Mail for Jeezus! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 20, 2005, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-crazy-junk-mail-for-jeezus/285747 "2005-01-20T17:20:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2005, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-crazy-junk-mail-for-jeezus/285747/21 "2005-01-25T00:26:37Z")
> [@FrankG](#): > > Perhaps that’s because whenever her knees manage to touch it, she can’t help but say “Oh God! Oh God! Oh Yes! Oh God!” 😉 I’m reminded of something a former reverend once said 'So, God is making man, and He gets to the genitals. ‘Hey, Michael Hand me about 30 bundles of those of extrasensitive nerves. Wait. Better make it 35. I want’em screaming my name.’ Good ol’ Sam Kinnison. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2005, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-crazy-junk-mail-for-jeezus/285747/22 "2005-01-25T01:13:34Z")
Aaah! My grandmother had a picture like that in her attic-supposedly you could see Jesus’s eyes as open or closed-that picture creeped the SHIT out of me. (That isn’t the same as the one in the link). So what denomination is this “church?” ---
**Author:** ![Tenar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@Tenar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tenar)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2005, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-crazy-junk-mail-for-jeezus/285747/23 "2005-01-25T03:23:45Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > So what denomination is this “church?” Whatever denominations they can get their hands on. Tens, twenties, hundreds – you name it. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2005, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-crazy-junk-mail-for-jeezus/285747/24 "2005-01-25T03:28:52Z")
**Tenar** Do you really think it’s wise to post under your true name? ---
**Author:** ![dogbutler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dogbutler/32/428_2.png) [@dogbutler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dogbutler)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2005, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-crazy-junk-mail-for-jeezus/285747/25 "2005-01-25T04:17:19Z")
Tape it to the front of your toilet tank, **Podkayne**. That way you can really “worship the porcelain god”. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2005, 12:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-crazy-junk-mail-for-jeezus/285747/26 "2005-01-25T12:06:10Z")
Has this Holy Rug been carbon-dated? Was it made in God-Fearing America or Atheist-filled china? If I got one, I’d draw little martian antenna on Jesus, the poor guy never gets any other artistic landscape than depressing Olde Tyme Dinners. I think Jesus would like to be a SpaceMan. In the site that Dragnwyr gave, this little gem caught my eye, > [@](#): > > Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me. Revelations 3:20" Come and knock on my dooor…we’ve been expectin’ you… blah blah blah blah…Three’s Company Two! ---
**Author:** ![Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19adc/32.png) [@Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2005, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-crazy-junk-mail-for-jeezus/285747/27 "2005-01-25T14:41:00Z")
The church of St. Michael’s must be targetting Heinleiners this week, because I got my photcopied paper rug too. That doubled-eye thing is mildly creepy, but the request to send it back to them so it can go to somebody else is just egregious. I promptly recycled it, so it will go to someone else in a new and improved form. Preferably two-ply. ---
**Author:** ![GrizzRich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7ba0ec/32.png) [@GrizzRich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrizzRich)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2005, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-crazy-junk-mail-for-jeezus/285747/28 "2005-01-25T15:58:04Z")
I’d be afraid to touch the prayer rug… **"IT BURNS!! AAIEEEE!"** ---
**Author:** ![Dragwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dragwyr/32/2855_2.png) [@Dragwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragwyr)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2005, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-crazy-junk-mail-for-jeezus/285747/29 "2005-01-25T17:17:16Z")
[Here is a great article that goes indepth into the origins of this scam.](http://www.loper.org/~george/trends/2003/Apr/815.html) ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2005, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-crazy-junk-mail-for-jeezus/285747/30 "2005-01-25T20:52:16Z")
> [@Dragwyr](#): > > [Here is a great article that goes indepth into the origins of this scam.](http://www.loper.org/~george/trends/2003/Apr/815.html) From the linked article > [@](#): > > Tulsa evangelist Billy James Hargis became friends with Ewing in the 1970s, said his wife, Betty Hargis I’m stunned. The televangelist in Don Imus’ God’s Other Son is named Billy Sol Hargis. It’s only recently I realized that the book can be read as the testament of a second begotten son, as well as the life of an insane preacher. I now wonder how much pointed satire I’m missing. ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2005, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-crazy-junk-mail-for-jeezus/285747/31 "2005-01-26T16:38:46Z")
> [@Podkayne](#): > > I got this excellent junk mail today! First of all, on the back, it has this prayer written out to Jesus, 'bout how they [the people sending the mail, I guess] were praying most fervently that the person who opens this envelope be blessed with joy and health and that they be blessed financially with a new car. > > The contents just got weirder. Turns out that “St. Matthew’s Churches,” which is “a very old Church (56 years!)” Hey! **HEY!** What’s this “very old (56 years)” crap? Why, yes - I did turn 56 on my last birthday. Why do you ask? ---
**Author:** ![congodwarf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e36b37/32.png) [@congodwarf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/congodwarf)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2005, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-crazy-junk-mail-for-jeezus/285747/32 "2005-01-26T17:15:02Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > So what denomination is this “church?” Am I the only one who read that as damnation? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-crazy-junk-mail-for-jeezus/285747.md?page=1)