# Some days it's scary being female **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 14, 2009, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-days-its-scary-being-female/517522 "2009-11-14T03:48:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2009, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-days-its-scary-being-female/517522/21 "2009-11-14T14:55:59Z")
> [@Blake](#): > > But it’s only acceptable to make implications that such hatred is linked to criminal metal illness in men, and only for men is it acceptable to speculate whether the hatred is going to lead to criminal acts. It appears you haven’t been around here long. You will find all manner of fascinating jumping-to-conclusions targeted both at men and women. We are equal opportunity reactionists here! As for your criticism of… well, critical theory, I don’t think you’re understanding the difference between individual personal acts of sexism and systemic characteristics that perpetuate it. There have been some academics who confuse this as well (and some early feminists, like that Catherine MacKinnon lady, were craaaaazy), but critical theory is much more about statistical inequality than it is about trying to shame any individual based on their sex. For example, we know that in the U.S., single women with children are one of the poorest demographics, significantly poorer than even single men with children. That effect is magnified when race is a factor. To criticize that reality in no way targets any individual as sexist or racist but serves as a useful structure to analyze the societal factors that might be playing into that. I think one of the single greatest problems with feminism and critical theory in general is its failure to make that distinction clear enough. You can criticize a system as being sexist without implying that all men or women are sexist. I don’t find the linked post very threatening, because this is the kind of guy I wouldn’t give the time of day to. I once lived with five men in college, three of which were extremely misogynist (but not, you know, hatefully so) and it was the most demoralizing experience of my life. I don’t ever remember being so unhappy. (‘‘ **olives** , you cleaned the kitchen? Wow, you might not make such a terrible mother after all!’’ Teehee.) It was a much more subtle form of sexism and it was shrouded in a constant playful affability so even now it’s difficult for me to be angry at them. That is the kind of sexism I really loathe–and fear, because it seems non-threatening even though it is. ---
**Author:** ![NinetyWt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/cc9497/32.png) [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2009, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-days-its-scary-being-female/517522/22 "2009-11-14T18:24:33Z")
> [@Blake](#): > > It is socially acceptable to say such things, as evidenced by the reactions in this thread. Which speaks volumes about the level of hatred directed at men. My impression of the reactions in this thread is that we were ridiculing him 'cos he’s a whackaloon, not that we hated him 'cos he’s a man. We really don’t know if he’s male at all, do we? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2009, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-days-its-scary-being-female/517522/23 "2009-11-14T18:27:13Z")
Well, there are certain feminist sites where I see people bending backwards to try and defend horrifying things done by women and jumping all over men for not recognizing their “privilege.” And whenever I see people ranting about the patriarchy sometimes I mentally substitute “black people” or “radioactive midgets” for “men” or “white men” to get a giggle. And when people admit that it’s okay to make fun of men but not women because men are the dominant paradigm or whatever, it’s a little weird. ---
**Author:** ![suranyi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@suranyi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/suranyi)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2009, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-days-its-scary-being-female/517522/24 "2009-11-14T18:41:46Z")
It’s not just men and women. The Internet is a big place. If you want to, you can easily find someone posting a message that will push exactly the right buttons that will make you boiling mad. I used to get white-hot at all the anti-Semitic screeds I would see from time-to-time posted on various bulletin boards, but now I just ignore them. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2009, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-days-its-scary-being-female/517522/25 "2009-11-14T23:01:41Z")
> [@Blake](#): > > Of course the ironic part is that the OP in this thread provides a perfect example of this with the suggestion that it is likely “\*\*this guy \*\*[is] going to wake up one day and decide that he’s going to teach some uppity females a lesson with his righteous collection of guns”. Yep, **all men** are monsters. **All men** are psychotically violent, and any man who expresses a negative opinion of a small subset of women must be a violent killer.:rolleyes: (Emphasis mine.) The OP made a negative comment about a particular man. Not ALL men, A man. She did not attempt to draw any conclusions about all men based on the behavior of this particular man. You are the one who has decided that this particular man represents the entire male sex. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2009, 9:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-days-its-scary-being-female/517522/26 "2009-11-15T09:15:56Z")
> [@Lamia](#): > > (Emphasis mine.) The OP made a negative comment about a particular man. Not ALL men, A man. She did not attempt to draw any conclusions about all men based on the behavior of this particular man. You are the one who has decided that this particular man represents the entire male sex. Well, but why decide that this person would wake up one day and flip from being a foul-mouthed blogshitter to a gun-toting woman-murderer? I submit there is a reasonable suspicion that the OP makes that link because the ranter is a _man_, and “that’s what _men_ do” - which I believe is the connection **Blake** was making too. ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2009, 9:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-days-its-scary-being-female/517522/27 "2009-11-15T09:44:48Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > Of course, then again, as a white male, in a white town, I don’t know what it’s like to be scared of people like this. Absolutely no idea what race has to do with this…care to explain? ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2009, 9:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-days-its-scary-being-female/517522/28 "2009-11-15T09:52:28Z")
> [@Claire\_Beauchamp](#): > > Is this guy going to wake up one day and decide that he’s going to teach some uppity females a lesson with his righteous collection of guns? I just hope you realize - given the fact that violence against women is a very real issue - that the second amendment applies to women too. Just wanted you to know. There’s no better way to ensure that _you_ don’t become another statistic than having your own “righteous collection of guns.” Just saying, you know, so you don’t think that being armed for self-defense is the exclusive domain of misogynistic woman-bashing cavemen. Some big drunken brute _will_ be stronger than you, but you can even the playing field. 100 grains of lead beats 100 pounds of muscle. Something for women to consider. ---
**Author:** ![Napier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce73a5/32.png) [@Napier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Napier)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2009, 12:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-days-its-scary-being-female/517522/29 "2009-11-15T12:03:43Z")
> [@Argent\_Towers](#): > > Absolutely no idea what race has to do with this…care to explain? I’m pretty sure it meant that BigT recognizes that when entire demographics are kept at some kind of disadvantage, it might change the way they feel about edgy behavior. For example, part of traditional white treatment of black people in decades past, especially in the South, included extreme violence; this tended to help guarantee that black people would be more easily intimidated. If you have been given multiple examples of rage becoming murderous, you are more likely to fear an enraged ranter than is somebody else who hasn’t been. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2009, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-days-its-scary-being-female/517522/30 "2009-11-15T13:38:36Z")
> [@Argent\_Towers](#): > > I just hope you realize - given the fact that violence against women is a very real issue - that the second amendment applies to women too. Just wanted you to know. There’s no better way to ensure that _you_ don’t become another statistic than having your own “righteous collection of guns.” Just saying, you know, so you don’t think that being armed for self-defense is the exclusive domain of misogynistic woman-bashing cavemen. Some big drunken brute _will_ be stronger than you, but you can even the playing field. 100 grains of lead beats 100 pounds of muscle. > > Something for women to consider. How’d that work out for that gun-toting soccer mom - you know, the one the lengthy Pit trainwreck was started about? Just saying, you know. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2009, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-days-its-scary-being-female/517522/31 "2009-11-15T15:31:53Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > Well, but why decide that this person would wake up one day and flip from being a foul-mouthed blogshitter to a gun-toting woman-murderer? I submit there is a reasonable suspicion that the OP makes that link because the ranter is a _man_, and “that’s what _men_ do” - which I believe is the connection **Blake** was making too. But where did she say that? – ‘‘That’s what men do.’’ The more obvious connection would be, ‘‘That’s what batshit crazy people do.’’ (And she didn’t even say that.) Why assume gender bias absent any evidence? ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2009, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-days-its-scary-being-female/517522/32 "2009-11-15T16:05:17Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > How’d that work out for that gun-toting soccer mom - you know, the one the lengthy Pit trainwreck was started about? Just saying, you know. OK, you’re right, that one incident disproves any and all valid points that my position might have. OK, case closed, carry on. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2009, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-days-its-scary-being-female/517522/33 "2009-11-15T23:10:28Z")
> [@olivesmarch4th](#): > > But where did she say that? – ‘‘That’s what men do.’’ The more obvious connection would be, ‘‘That’s what batshit crazy people do.’’ (And she didn’t even say that.) Why assume gender bias absent any evidence? I pulled it outta my ass. Or, alternatively, the rest of the post was about “men this, men that, men the other thing”, not “crazies this…”. You choose. Possibly the OP is equally afraid of women. @AT: Much obliged. Obviously it’s a shame to pass up an opportunity to spend five hundred posts talking about guns, but I guess we can live with it. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2009, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-days-its-scary-being-female/517522/34 "2009-11-15T23:25:28Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > I pulled it outta my ass. Or, alternatively, the rest of the post was about “men this, men that, men the other thing”, not “crazies this…”. You choose. Possibly the OP is equally afraid of women. Actually it was ‘‘there are men’’ this and ‘‘there are also men’’ that. Come on. Someone can’t bitch about a blatant example of sexism and discuss experiences about sexism without also being labeled a sexist? ---
**Author:** ![StoutHearted](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@StoutHearted](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StoutHearted)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2009, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-days-its-scary-being-female/517522/35 "2009-11-16T00:26:59Z")
He’s just an internet troll, the kind who likely believes the crap he spews rather than just does it for the lulz. The kind who Mommy didn’t hug enough, got dumped by the prom queen, etc., etc… ---
**Author:** ![Jimmy\_Chitwood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f475e1/32.png) [@Jimmy\_Chitwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jimmy_Chitwood)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2009, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-days-its-scary-being-female/517522/36 "2009-11-16T00:40:25Z")
Nothing like a gender-related thread on Straight Dope to make me feel like the stablest, most secure man on Earth, I tell you what. ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2009, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-days-its-scary-being-female/517522/37 "2009-11-16T03:30:51Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > If I don’t read the whole post, I don’t feel right about voting it thumbs down! I only got through the 1st paragraph. nuff read. I expect to read ABOUT this person in the paper sometime down the road. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2009, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-days-its-scary-being-female/517522/38 "2009-11-16T03:34:34Z")
> [@olivesmarch4th](#): > > Actually it was ‘‘there are men’’ this and ‘‘there are also men’’ that. Come on. Someone can’t bitch about a blatant example of sexism and discuss experiences about sexism without also being labeled a sexist? Not on this board. MOST Dopers can distinguish between criticizing a man/some men for their behavior and condemning all men everywhere, but there’s a vocal minority that can’t. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2009, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-days-its-scary-being-female/517522/39 "2009-11-16T04:35:14Z")
> [@Jimmy\_Chitwood](#): > > Nothing like a gender-related thread on Straight Dope to make me feel like the stablest, most secure man on Earth, I tell you what. I know what you mean. I think I’ll go give The Devil’s Grandfather a blow job. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2009, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-days-its-scary-being-female/517522/40 "2009-11-16T05:17:43Z")
> [@Argent\_Towers](#): > > Absolutely no idea what race has to do with this…care to explain? > [@Napier](#): > > I’m pretty sure it meant that BigT recognizes that when entire demographics are kept at some kind of disadvantage, it might change the way they feel about edgy behavior. For example, part of traditional white treatment of black people in decades past, especially in the South, included extreme violence; this tended to help guarantee that black people would be more easily intimidated. If you have been given multiple examples of rage becoming murderous, you are more likely to fear an enraged ranter than is somebody else who hasn’t been. Yes, exactly. Thanks for making my point clearer. The guy mentioned in the OP reminded me of some racist crap I’ve read, so race was on my mind. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-days-its-scary-being-female/517522.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-days-its-scary-being-female/517522.md?page=3)