# "Some marriages between consenting adults should be recognized, but not others" **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [November 18, 2014, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-marriages-between-consenting-adults-should-be-recognized-but-not-others/704988 "2014-11-18T19:06:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2014, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-marriages-between-consenting-adults-should-be-recognized-but-not-others/704988/1 "2014-11-18T19:06:38Z")
As long as we are referring only to consenting adults, is there any logical argument that could be used in favor of gay marriage that does not apply also to incestuous or polygamous marriage? 1. “Incestuous or polygamous marriage is disgusting” - isn’t that exactly what people have said about gay marriage? 2. “Incestuous or polygamous marriage is immoral” - isn’t that exactly what people have said about gay marriage? 3. “People could fraudulently claim multiple spouses for tax benefits” - what if a law allowed people to claim only 1 spouse for tax deductions, no matter how many spouses they actually had? 4. “Incestuous marriage would cause inbreeding and genetic problems” - what if they don’t have children? And even if so, is that the government’s business? 5. “Society isn’t ready for incestuous or polygamous marriage” - isn’t that exactly what people have said about gay marriage? For clarification, I’m not actually advocating for recognition of incestuous or polygamous marriage. But isn’t it logistically inconsistent for society to support only certain marriages between consenting adults, and not others? ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2014, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-marriages-between-consenting-adults-should-be-recognized-but-not-others/704988/2 "2014-11-18T19:15:20Z")
Inconsistency only applies when the argument is actively being made. Silence from an advocate of SSM on the other two subjects is not honestly construed as advocacy against them. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2014, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-marriages-between-consenting-adults-should-be-recognized-but-not-others/704988/3 "2014-11-18T19:19:57Z")
Unless I protest for all causes at the same time, I am being unfair to all causes but the one I am currently espousing? How silly. ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2014, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-marriages-between-consenting-adults-should-be-recognized-but-not-others/704988/4 "2014-11-18T19:21:11Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > Inconsistency only applies when the argument is actively being made. Silence from an advocate of SSM on the other two subjects is not honestly construed as advocacy against them. Possibly, but I very much get the impression that many people, if given a vote in the ballot box on the three issues, would vote in favor of gay marriage but vote against incestuous or polygamous marriage. And I’ve read the opinion of people who claimed that gay marriage and polygamous marriage are “different” and so the recognition extended to the former should not apply to the latter. ---
**Author:** ![Yodalicious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yodalicious/32/8195_2.png) [@Yodalicious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yodalicious)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2014, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-marriages-between-consenting-adults-should-be-recognized-but-not-others/704988/5 "2014-11-18T19:21:57Z")
Incestuous… well that’s just icky. I have two issues concerning polygamous marriage. I’m concerned about abuse rates and the underage forced into those relationships (I haven no cites, just the news stories I’ve seen and read). The other issue is distribution of property upon divorce. Would it be 50/50 or percentage based on the number of people in the marriage ? Should each wife get property based on how long she was in the marriage (I use wife since it’s usually one husband and multiple wives). I’m sort of ok with polygamy if these two issue could have satisfactory answers. ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2014, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-marriages-between-consenting-adults-should-be-recognized-but-not-others/704988/6 "2014-11-18T19:23:19Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > Unless I protest for all causes at the same time, I am being unfair to all causes but the one I am currently espousing? > > How silly. Unless those causes share similarity. This is like saying, “Baseball stadiums should be taxpayer funded but football stadiums should not.” ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2014, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-marriages-between-consenting-adults-should-be-recognized-but-not-others/704988/7 "2014-11-18T19:26:15Z")
Isn’t excluding gays from marriage just exactly that? - “support only certain marriages between consenting adults, and not others?” And the unbalanced situation you’ve described can be avoided by excluding gays from marrying? Huh? ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2014, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-marriages-between-consenting-adults-should-be-recognized-but-not-others/704988/8 "2014-11-18T19:26:16Z")
For clarification, I’m not referring to people who argue for SSM but don’t argue for incestuous or polygamous marriage - nobody has infinite energy. I’m referring to people who support SSM but \*\*oppose \*\*incestuous or polygamous marriage. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2014, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-marriages-between-consenting-adults-should-be-recognized-but-not-others/704988/9 "2014-11-18T19:28:03Z")
> [@Velocity](#): > > Unless those causes share similarity. > This is like saying, “Baseball stadiums should be taxpayer funded but football stadiums should not.” No-It’s like saying, “It doesn’t take a genius to realize that if you get spread too thin you’re not going to get too far.” ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2014, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-marriages-between-consenting-adults-should-be-recognized-but-not-others/704988/10 "2014-11-18T19:28:12Z")
Oppose whom? Where are the supporters of incestuous marriage? Oh, I get it, they oppose something that doesn’t exist and isn’t a thing! Got it! ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2014, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-marriages-between-consenting-adults-should-be-recognized-but-not-others/704988/11 "2014-11-18T19:28:35Z")
> [@Velocity](#): > > For clarification, I’m not referring to people who argue for SSM but don’t argue for incestuous or polygamous marriage - nobody has infinite energy. > I’m referring to people who support SSM but \*\*oppose \*\*incestuous or polygamous marriage. How about people that support man-woman marriage but oppose same-sex marriage? It would seem that the same thing could apply to them. ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2014, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-marriages-between-consenting-adults-should-be-recognized-but-not-others/704988/12 "2014-11-18T19:28:43Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > Isn’t excluding gays from marriage just exactly that? - “support only certain marriages between consenting adults, and not others?” My question is, why don’t all supporters of gay marriage, logically, support \*all \*marriages between consenting adults? ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2014, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-marriages-between-consenting-adults-should-be-recognized-but-not-others/704988/13 "2014-11-18T19:28:48Z")
I think people pretty much view polygamy as they do SSM. They just don’t see any issue with who or how many someone lives with or sleeps with. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2014, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-marriages-between-consenting-adults-should-be-recognized-but-not-others/704988/14 "2014-11-18T19:30:45Z")
> [@Velocity](#): > > And I’ve read the opinion of people who claimed that gay marriage and polygamous marriage are “different” and so the recognition extended to the former should not apply to the latter. I have no problem with incestuous marriages, though I find the idea personally pretty uncomfortable. I have a problem with poly marriage because it requires fundamental changes to the default rules we have: either all marriages would have to change or else some rules would be different for poly marriage. I don’t want the former and I think the latter has problems. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2014, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-marriages-between-consenting-adults-should-be-recognized-but-not-others/704988/15 "2014-11-18T19:30:51Z")
> [@Velocity](#): > > My question is, why don’t all supporters of gay marriage, logically, support \*all \*marriages between consenting adults? Why don’t supporters of opposite sex marriage, logically, support _all_ marriages between consenting adults? Why is opposite sex marriage support exempt from these sorts of slippery slope arguments? ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2014, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-marriages-between-consenting-adults-should-be-recognized-but-not-others/704988/16 "2014-11-18T19:31:13Z")
> [@iiandyiiii](#): > > How about people that support man-woman marriage but oppose same-sex marriage? It would seem that the same thing could apply to them. You could ask them that, but this thread question is primarily aimed at supporters of SSM. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2014, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-marriages-between-consenting-adults-should-be-recognized-but-not-others/704988/17 "2014-11-18T19:31:20Z")
> [@Velocity](#): > > My question is, why don’t all supporters of gay marriage, logically, support \*all \*marriages between consenting adults? Because we are individuals, not a great hive-mind collective. ---
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2014, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-marriages-between-consenting-adults-should-be-recognized-but-not-others/704988/18 "2014-11-18T19:31:43Z")
Whether or not people have children with genetic problems is a societal problem. It is an actual, identifiable, non-judgemental problem with high societal costs. Re: Polygamy, personally, I feel that the history of polygamy, where a man is the central figure in the marriage and the women are put in a subordinate position, is far more important that the Ick factor. Polygamy is also far more complex legally than 2 person marriage. 2 person marriage may assign rights to “the spouse”, in polygamy those rights are assigned to multiple people, eliminating the concept of primacy in that right. Not only is the right assigned, we need now to develop a method of how to deal with disagreements when in the past it was a single person’s decision. Every law that assigns marriage rights or deals with marriage in any way would need to be rewritten (or at least closely reviewed) to account for this fundamental change. ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2014, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-marriages-between-consenting-adults-should-be-recognized-but-not-others/704988/19 "2014-11-18T19:37:03Z")
> [@Cheesesteak](#): > > Re: Polygamy, personally, I feel that the history of polygamy, where a man is the central figure in the marriage and the women are put in a subordinate position, is far more important that the Ick factor. Technically, multiple-spouse marriage could also be a woman with multiple husbands. > [@Cheesesteak](#): > > Whether or not people have children with genetic problems is a societal problem. It is an actual, identifiable, non-judgemental problem with high societal costs. Should we recognize or not recognize marriages on that basis? ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2014, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-marriages-between-consenting-adults-should-be-recognized-but-not-others/704988/20 "2014-11-18T19:38:27Z")
> [@Velocity](#): > > You could ask them that, but this thread question is primarily aimed at supporters of SSM. I’m a supporter of SSM. For me to evaluate polygamy, incestuous marriage, and the like, I’d have to hear arguments from multiple supporters (and perhaps practitioners) of them. I didn’t support SSM until I heard arguments from many gay couples, and I can’t make much of a judgment on these other types of possible marriage until I heard from many polygamous or incestuous couples. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-marriages-between-consenting-adults-should-be-recognized-but-not-others/704988.md?page=2)