# Some men have maintained secret "second" families. Any women ever do this?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-men-have-maintained-secret-second-families-any-women-ever-do-this/459705>\
**Category:** Factual Questions\
**Created:** [August 12, 2008, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-men-have-maintained-secret-second-families-any-women-ever-do-this/459705 "2008-08-12T03:29:19Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 17\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)\
**Post date:** [August 12, 2008, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-men-have-maintained-secret-second-families-any-women-ever-do-this/459705/21 "2008-08-12T14:18:00Z")

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[QUOTE=CairoCarol]  
Well done! I like that out-of-the-box thinking.  
[/QUOTE]

I can’t be the only one who thinks this is hilarious 😃

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**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\
**Post date:** [August 12, 2008, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-men-have-maintained-secret-second-families-any-women-ever-do-this/459705/22 "2008-08-12T14:20:47Z")

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[QUOTE=Cazzle]  
I guess the female version is the old cuckoos-in-the-nest trick.  
[/QUOTE]

Yup.

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**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\
**Post date:** [August 12, 2008, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-men-have-maintained-secret-second-families-any-women-ever-do-this/459705/23 "2008-08-12T16:26:53Z")

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[QUOTE=Siam Sam]  
For some reason, this thread makes me think of a female comedian (comedienne?) – MAYBE Paula Poundstone – whom I once heard say: “I don’t have any children – that I know of.”  
[/QUOTE]

Paula Poundstone has several adopted children.

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**Author:** ![myskepticsight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cc9497/32.png) [@myskepticsight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/myskepticsight)\
**Post date:** [August 12, 2008, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-men-have-maintained-secret-second-families-any-women-ever-do-this/459705/24 "2008-08-12T17:44:02Z")

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[QUOTE=Otto]  
Paula Poundstone has several adopted children.  
[/QUOTE]

But comedians often lie in the name of a joke…?

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**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\
**Post date:** [August 12, 2008, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-men-have-maintained-secret-second-families-any-women-ever-do-this/459705/25 "2008-08-12T17:58:34Z")

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[QUOTE=Siam Sam]  
For some reason, this thread makes me think of a female comedian (comedienne?) – MAYBE Paula Poundstone – whom I once heard say: “I don’t have any children – that I know of.”  
[/QUOTE]

I’m pretty sure it was Rita Rudner. Dark, curly hair, big eyes, shoulder pads out to here? Of course, I can’t find a cite. She did say, “We did long for the pitter-patter of little feet, so we decided to buy a dog. Cheaper, and… get more feet.” and “Never play peekaboo with a child on a long plane trip. There’s no end to the game. Finally I grabbed him by the bib and said, ‘Look, it’s always gonna be me!’” so it would fit with her non-maternal character.

Then again, I’m sure it’s been appropriated by many a stand up comic, so who knows, maybe we’re both right.

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**Author:** ![si\_blakely](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d9b06d/32.png) [@si\_blakely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/si_blakely)\
**Post date:** [August 12, 2008, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-men-have-maintained-secret-second-families-any-women-ever-do-this/459705/26 "2008-08-12T19:37:56Z")

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[This woman](http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/wales/7542937.stm) hid her pregnancy (blaming an allergy) from her partner and continued to see her lover, until the baby was born dead (probably) and she tried to hide it.

I have no doubt that if she had managed cover things up she would have continued to play both the men in her life.

Si

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**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\
**Post date:** [August 12, 2008, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-men-have-maintained-secret-second-families-any-women-ever-do-this/459705/27 "2008-08-12T21:40:45Z")

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Sailor’s wives. I can’t remember where I read it, but loooong ago, when men shipped out on wooden ships for months and years, some women would marry more than one sailor. Then they’d hope that none of their ships would come home at the same time.

Wish I had a cite.

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**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\
**Post date:** [August 12, 2008, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-men-have-maintained-secret-second-families-any-women-ever-do-this/459705/28 "2008-08-12T23:48:49Z")

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[QUOTE=WhyNot]  
I’m pretty sure it was Rita Rudner. Dark, curly hair, big eyes, shoulder pads out to here? Of course, I can’t find a cite. She did say, “We did long for the pitter-patter of little feet, so we decided to buy a dog. Cheaper, and… get more feet.” and “Never play peekaboo with a child on a long plane trip. There’s no end to the game. Finally I grabbed him by the bib and said, ‘Look, it’s always gonna be me!’” so it would fit with her non-maternal character.

Then again, I’m sure it’s been appropriated by many a stand up comic, so who knows, maybe we’re both right.  
[/QUOTE]

Okay, so it wasn’t Paula Poundstone, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t Rita Rudner, as it was told by a woman with a less timid voice than I remember Rita’s as being.

But you get the idea. 😃

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**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\
**Post date:** [August 14, 2008, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-men-have-maintained-secret-second-families-any-women-ever-do-this/459705/29 "2008-08-14T13:08:21Z")

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Actress Jill Ireland was bouncing back and forth between her husband David McCallum and her lover Charles Bronson for years. She began her affair with Bronson after she almost died from a miscarriage. She & David adopted a son Jason; she and Bronson picked him up from the hospital. She got pregnant again and had a son who looks so much like David McCallum that no one could doubt his paternity. Ireland loved having each man in her life and did not want to give up either of them.

It was only after McCallum left her to marry Kathy Carpenter that they got a divorce, and Ireland married Bronson.

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**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\
**Post date:** [August 14, 2008, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-men-have-maintained-secret-second-families-any-women-ever-do-this/459705/30 "2008-08-14T15:24:00Z")

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[QUOTE=Annie-Xmas]  
Actress Jill Ireland was bouncing back and forth between her husband David McCallum and her lover Charles Bronson for years.  
[/QUOTE]

But that sounds like both men knew about each other, right? If we’re simply looking for women with more than one partner long term, that widens the playing field quite a bit.

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**Author:** ![Rocketeer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rocketeer/32/4437_2.png) [@Rocketeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rocketeer)\
**Post date:** [August 14, 2008, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-men-have-maintained-secret-second-families-any-women-ever-do-this/459705/31 "2008-08-14T17:11:47Z")

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[QUOTE=Yllaria]  
Sailor’s wives. I can’t remember where I read it, but loooong ago, when men shipped out on wooden ships for months and years, some women would marry more than one sailor. Then they’d hope that none of their ships would come home at the same time.

Wish I had a cite.  
[/QUOTE]

I have heard of something similar happening in WWII, where girls would marry more than one soldier, collecting a government allotment for each, figuring that combat deaths would eliminate the possibility of any eventual repercussions.

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**Author:** ![5\_time\_champ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/5/278dde/32.png) [@5\_time\_champ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/5_time_champ)\
**Post date:** [August 14, 2008, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-men-have-maintained-secret-second-families-any-women-ever-do-this/459705/32 "2008-08-14T21:55:09Z")

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[QUOTE=Siam Sam]  
Okay, so it wasn’t Paula Poundstone, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t Rita Rudner, as it was told by a woman with a less timid voice than I remember Rita’s as being.

But you get the idea. 😃  
[/QUOTE]

I am blanking of her name right now, but it I think that line came from a comedienne who was popular at the same time as Rita Rudner & Paula Poundstone.

She was tall, had really curly blond hair, and would have considered really hot had she not had such a big nose. She did a commercial for Dry Idea with the line “Never let them see you sweat.”

She had HBO specials called “Broadway Baby” and “Top Tomato”, but for the life of me, I cannot recall her name. :smack:

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**Author:** ![Icarus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/icarus/32/72_2.png) [@Icarus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Icarus)\
**Post date:** [August 15, 2008, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-men-have-maintained-secret-second-families-any-women-ever-do-this/459705/33 "2008-08-15T00:00:46Z")

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[QUOTE=5 time champ]  
She had HBO specials called “Broadway Baby” and “Top Tomato”, but for the life of me, I cannot recall her name. :smack:  
[/QUOTE]

[Elayne Boosler](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0462213/)

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**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\
**Post date:** [August 15, 2008, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-men-have-maintained-secret-second-families-any-women-ever-do-this/459705/34 "2008-08-15T03:13:47Z")

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[QUOTE=Icarus]  
[Elayne Boosler](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0462213/)  
[/QUOTE]

Yes, I believe that’s her!

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**Author:** ![adirondack\_mike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b5a626/32.png) [@adirondack\_mike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/adirondack_mike)\
**Post date:** [August 27, 2008, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-men-have-maintained-secret-second-families-any-women-ever-do-this/459705/35 "2008-08-27T02:00:36Z")

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This just in from Kentucky -

[First woman charged with bigamy in Kentucky.](http://www.wlwt.com/news/17295060/detail.html)

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**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\
**Post date:** [August 27, 2008, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-men-have-maintained-secret-second-families-any-women-ever-do-this/459705/36 "2008-08-27T03:58:13Z")

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[QUOTE=adirondack\_mike]  
This just in from Kentucky -

[First woman charged with bigamy in Kentucky.](http://www.wlwt.com/news/17295060/detail.html)  
[/QUOTE]

Oh my! What a cutie. I can certainly see how she could have charmed all those men.

NOT. (But if she can do it, it helps to explain why men lose their minds so easily over some tart Vanessa Mae lookalike over here.)

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**Author:** ![Mississippienne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d2c977/32.png) [@Mississippienne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mississippienne)\
**Post date:** [October 6, 2008, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-men-have-maintained-secret-second-families-any-women-ever-do-this/459705/37 "2008-10-06T20:27:23Z")

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> [@Yllaria](#):
>
> Sailor’s wives. I can’t remember where I read it, but loooong ago, when men shipped out on wooden ships for months and years, some women would marry more than one sailor. Then they’d hope that none of their ships would come home at the same time.
> 
> Wish I had a cite.

I saw a very old newspaper article from the American colonial period – aha, here it is. From the Marlyand Gazette, dated August 18 1747:

_A woman is on trial in Dorchester county for having two husbands. John Carr, the first husband, went to England last summer and stayed 11 months. He returned to find his wife had married again and given birth to Carr’s child, now nine months old._

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