# Some of my neighbors have decided that I am a lesbian. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 23, 2014, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-my-neighbors-have-decided-that-i-am-a-lesbian/691483 "2014-06-23T21:25:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![chiroptera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@chiroptera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chiroptera)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2014, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-my-neighbors-have-decided-that-i-am-a-lesbian/691483/1 "2014-06-23T21:25:22Z")
Quick background: I bought my house on a half-acre in August 2010, on a quiet dead-end road. I am a single female and also a painting contractor. I’ve become quite good friends with several of my neighbors, including “Joe” who lives right across the street from me. So this morning Joe calls me up and laughingly tells me that he had a conversation with “Tom” and “Jerry” who each own homes at the end of our road. Both are fairly reclusive guys and I’ve never actually talked with them. Apparently Tom and Jerry have determined that I am a lesbian and not only that, “getting more pussy than them and Joe combined.” Whatever floats their boats; if they feel better imagining their neighbor is a horny lesbian, more power to them. Mostly, I feel annoyed. Annoyed because a single, self-sufficient woman cannot possibly be straight (and therefore depending on a man)? Because being in a non-traditional “male” line of work means I cannot possibly be feminine? Because a single female without a man must by definition be a lesbian? OK, so I am not annoyed enough to muster up any real ire - I actually find it amusing. And if it keeps those old fat guys at the end of the street from trying to hit on me, even better. I don’t really personally care what people who don’t actually know me think of me, but I am irritated that stereotypes like this persist. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2014, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-my-neighbors-have-decided-that-i-am-a-lesbian/691483/2 "2014-06-23T21:30:19Z")
C’mon, two available men on the street and you haven’t had sex with either of them? You being a lesbian is the only logical explanation. ---
**Author:** ![chiroptera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@chiroptera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chiroptera)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2014, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-my-neighbors-have-decided-that-i-am-a-lesbian/691483/3 "2014-06-23T21:39:19Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > C’mon, two available men on the street and you haven’t had sex with either of them? You being a lesbian is the only logical explanation. Actually three available single men if you include Joe. He tried, failed, and decided I was probably not worth the bother of having sex with. So we got to be friends instead. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2014, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-my-neighbors-have-decided-that-i-am-a-lesbian/691483/4 "2014-06-23T22:02:12Z")
Though wrong about the lesbian part, probably accurate that you still probably are getting more pussy than they are combined. ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2014, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-my-neighbors-have-decided-that-i-am-a-lesbian/691483/5 "2014-06-23T22:22:22Z")
If it comes up again, “I’m not a lesbian, I’m just not into shitting where I live.” Should get a chuckle. ---
**Author:** ![jayrey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/47e85d/32.png) [@jayrey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayrey)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2014, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-my-neighbors-have-decided-that-i-am-a-lesbian/691483/6 "2014-06-23T22:38:47Z")
> [@chiroptera](#): > > Actually three available single men if you include Joe. He tried, failed, and decided I was probably not worth the bother of having sex with. So we got to be friends instead. 😃 Well, of course you weren’t worth the bother: you’re a lesbian, after all! 😃 I have wondered what my neighbors think of me, single woman with no male friends ever visiting. And, when my best friend, who wears her hair short and always dresses in slacks bacause that’s the most comfortable, and I go out, I wonder if everyone thinks we are a couple and that she’s the “guy.” Like **chirotera** , I don’t care what strangers think, but the possibility of knee jerk stereotyping bugs me. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2014, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-my-neighbors-have-decided-that-i-am-a-lesbian/691483/7 "2014-06-23T23:31:06Z")
“I’m not gay, but I’m willing to learn.” ---
**Author:** ![Inna\_Minnit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Inna\_Minnit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inna_Minnit)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2014, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-my-neighbors-have-decided-that-i-am-a-lesbian/691483/8 "2014-06-23T23:36:25Z")
My mother asked me once if I was. Because I didn’t sleep around like the other females\* in my family. \*yes, her too. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Nylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/77aa72/32.png) [@Mr.Nylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Nylock)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2014, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-my-neighbors-have-decided-that-i-am-a-lesbian/691483/9 "2014-06-23T23:44:00Z")
Some people think I’m a nut, don’t let it get to you. On a more serious note, being the neighbor of two reclusive guys that are spending a lot of time contemplating the sexual habits of other neighbors for no good reason - that that would scare me lil bit. ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2014, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-my-neighbors-have-decided-that-i-am-a-lesbian/691483/10 "2014-06-24T01:17:28Z")
Hey, **chiroptera** , PM me your address, I’ll come over & we’ll have sex. Then I’ll knock on their door(s) & confirm to them that you’re not a lesbian. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Lydia\_Phalfav](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a6a055/32.png) [@Lydia\_Phalfav](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lydia_Phalfav)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2014, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-my-neighbors-have-decided-that-i-am-a-lesbian/691483/11 "2014-06-24T01:28:41Z")
Hail fellow “lesbian”! (I’ve dealt with a lot of that crap too while growing up. I was very much a tomboy.) Just put up a friendly sign in the yard: “Welcome to the Friend Zone!” ---
**Author:** ![epbrown01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ba0ec/32.png) [@epbrown01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/epbrown01)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2014, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-my-neighbors-have-decided-that-i-am-a-lesbian/691483/12 "2014-06-24T01:29:23Z")
> [@Spiderman](#): > > Hey, **chiroptera** , PM me your address, I’ll come over & we’ll have sex. Then I’ll knock on their door(s) & confirm to them that you’re not a lesbian. 😉 Just leave the windows open and be really loud - it’s what my neighbors do. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2014, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-my-neighbors-have-decided-that-i-am-a-lesbian/691483/13 "2014-06-24T02:21:39Z")
I suspect everyone thinks I’m a lesbian at work. I’m artsy. I am outdoorsy. I don’t have a man and I don’t ever talk about getting one. I have short hair. I drive a Subaru. No one has ever come out and asked, but knowing how people talk, I’m guessing it has come up in private conversation. One day a coworker (who is a lesbian and married) introduced me to an employee she’s friends with from another department…for no self-evident reason. I don’t know for sure, but I think this coworker is gay too\*. I think my co-coworker was playing the covert match-maker. If true, the two of them probably think I’m the biggest closet case ever. \*What’s very weird is that multiple times someone has mistaken this woman for me, even though we look nothing alike. We aren’t even the same race, plus she’s considerably older than I am. Only our hair is kinda-sorta similiar…but only from a distance. Sometimes I catch her looking at me with this \*look \*and I feel the urge to apologize for being her bizarro world twin. ---
**Author:** ![chiroptera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@chiroptera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chiroptera)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2014, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-my-neighbors-have-decided-that-i-am-a-lesbian/691483/14 "2014-06-24T02:32:26Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > \ I drive a Subaru. . Well there you are. You MUST be a lesbian. 😛 Heh, you people are funny. (And thanks for the offer **Spiderman** - I’ve never had a superhero!)I’ve decided that I am more amused than annoyed. Maybe I should get a rainbow flag or two to display. And a Subaru. ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2014, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-my-neighbors-have-decided-that-i-am-a-lesbian/691483/15 "2014-06-24T02:47:31Z")
Wow, that’s a lot of single homeowners on one street. ---
**Author:** ![chiroptera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@chiroptera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chiroptera)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2014, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-my-neighbors-have-decided-that-i-am-a-lesbian/691483/16 "2014-06-24T02:59:10Z")
> [@Hampshire](#): > > Wow, that’s a lot of single homeowners on one street. I guess it is now that I think about it! The “end of the road” is the equivalent of three blocks long and there’s seven houses. Four of us are single homeowners. One retired couple, one middle-aged couple, and a younger couple with no kids who just bought the house on the corner last fall. We’ve got three ethnic minorities covered between us, so I guess I get to be the token lesbian. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2014, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-my-neighbors-have-decided-that-i-am-a-lesbian/691483/17 "2014-06-24T03:04:03Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > I drive a Subaru. Wait! My husband drives a Subaru! Do I need to be worried? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2014, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-my-neighbors-have-decided-that-i-am-a-lesbian/691483/18 "2014-06-24T03:14:16Z")
Straight guy here. If someone thought I was gay, I think I’d be amused by the stereotyping (if any), or surprised, but not offended. To me, “gay” isn’t an insult, even if the mistaken “accuser” thought it was. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2014, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-my-neighbors-have-decided-that-i-am-a-lesbian/691483/19 "2014-06-24T03:14:30Z")
> [@RivkahChaya](#): > > Wait! My husband drives a Subaru! Do I need to be worried? :dubious: Does he play softball? ---
**Author:** ![chiroptera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@chiroptera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chiroptera)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2014, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-my-neighbors-have-decided-that-i-am-a-lesbian/691483/20 "2014-06-24T03:22:03Z")
> [@TreacherousCretin](#): > > Straight guy here. If someone thought I was gay, I think I’d be amused by the stereotyping (if any), or surprised, but not offended. To me, “gay” isn’t an insult, even if the mistaken “accuser” thought it was. Just to be clear - I do NOT think “gay is an insult.” My largely recreational [del] outrage [/del] irritation was because of what I presume to be stereotyping of women by Tom and Jerry. Of course it could be just that they have no lives/get off on fantasizing about lesbians/are fat old guys who haven’t gotten any in years and are bitter about it. Being a woman in a traditionally male line of work, I run into this and other stereotypes quite often. _That’s_ the part that sometimes irritates me. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-my-neighbors-have-decided-that-i-am-a-lesbian/691483.md?page=2)