# Some of my neighbors have decided that I am a lesbian. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 23, 2014, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-my-neighbors-have-decided-that-i-am-a-lesbian/691483 "2014-06-23T21:25:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2014, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-my-neighbors-have-decided-that-i-am-a-lesbian/691483/41 "2014-06-24T15:46:31Z")
So what’s with Tom and Jerry, two single guys who live alone on a secluded street? My gaydar is pinging like crazy. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2014, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-my-neighbors-have-decided-that-i-am-a-lesbian/691483/42 "2014-06-24T16:31:58Z")
> [@Lydia\_Phalfav](#): > > Hail fellow “lesbian”! > > (I’ve dealt with a lot of that crap too while growing up. I was very much a tomboy.) > > Just put up a friendly sign in the yard: “Welcome to the Friend Zone!” I dealt with “gay”, mainly due to my two-handed tackles in touch football. [Now it’s walking with a limp while carrying a laptop bag.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=228865) ---
**Author:** ![papergirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/aca169/32.png) [@papergirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/papergirl)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2014, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-my-neighbors-have-decided-that-i-am-a-lesbian/691483/43 "2014-06-24T18:25:19Z")
I’m pretty sure my neighbors think I’m a lesbian too. I live with another single woman with our assorted children and since all the houses are the same,most people rightly assume we share a room. Pretty soon she is moving out and my PLP (Platonic Life Partner), also female, is moving in. We are totally buying a pride flag. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2014, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-my-neighbors-have-decided-that-i-am-a-lesbian/691483/44 "2014-06-24T20:04:56Z")
> [@swampspruce](#): > > … I’m looking at the evidence of my life and have to come to the conclusion that I am indeed a lesbian in a man’s body. …☹ Hmmm … I wonder how that would work as a pickup line? ---
**Author:** ![leftfield6](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leftfield6/32/18780_2.png) [@leftfield6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leftfield6)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2014, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-my-neighbors-have-decided-that-i-am-a-lesbian/691483/45 "2014-06-24T20:13:03Z")
> [@swampspruce](#): > > You people have me seriously worried. I’m looking at the evidence of my life and have to come to the conclusion that I am indeed a lesbian in a man’s body. 😃 > > 1. I love having sex with women (that being my wife) and have no interest in having sex with men. > 2. 07 Subaru Legacy wagon (with hitch) is my car. > 3. Cat household > 4. Indigo Girls and Melissa Etheridge CDs in domicile. > 5. Prefers to play softball. > > I think I’m going to have to get some therapy…☹ Hmm. Here’s my list. 1. I love having sex with women and have no interest in having sex with men. 2. 06 Subaru Outback wagon (with hitch) is my car. 3. Dog household 4. Indigo Girls and Melissa Etheridge CDs in domicile. And I LOVE Natalie Merchant 5. Have been known to play softball. I’m thinking I’m a lesbian too. I’ll have to discuss it with friends when we meet for brunch this Sunday. (oh shit, that’s probably another sign) ---
**Author:** ![epbrown01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ba0ec/32.png) [@epbrown01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/epbrown01)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2014, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-my-neighbors-have-decided-that-i-am-a-lesbian/691483/46 "2014-06-24T20:25:25Z")
> [@swampspruce](#): > > You people have me seriously worried. I’m looking at the evidence of my life and have to come to the conclusion that I am indeed a lesbian in a man’s body. 😃 One of my favorite In Living Color parody vids was “[Neurotic](http://youtu.be/wCMzkUGIt0o)” by Madonna, with the line “gay man trapped in a woman’s body.” ---
**Author:** ![JackieLikesVariety](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackielikesvariety/32/296_2.png) [@JackieLikesVariety](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JackieLikesVariety)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2014, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-my-neighbors-have-decided-that-i-am-a-lesbian/691483/47 "2014-06-24T20:41:31Z")
> [@papergirl](#): > > I’m pretty sure my neighbors think I’m a lesbian too. I live with another single woman with our assorted children and since all the houses are the same,most people rightly assume we share a room. Pretty soon she is moving out and my PLP (Platonic Life Partner), also female, is moving in. We are totally buying a pride flag. Platonic Life Partner is a thing? ---
**Author:** ![swampspruce](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampspruce/32/261_2.png) [@swampspruce](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampspruce)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2014, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-my-neighbors-have-decided-that-i-am-a-lesbian/691483/48 "2014-06-24T21:17:49Z")
> [@epbrown01](#): > > One of my favorite In Living Color parody vids was “[Neurotic](http://youtu.be/wCMzkUGIt0o)” by Madonna, with the line “gay man trapped in a woman’s body.” So I’m the AntiMadonna? cool. **Leftfield** , maybe we should start a support group. ---
**Author:** ![chiroptera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@chiroptera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chiroptera)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2014, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-my-neighbors-have-decided-that-i-am-a-lesbian/691483/49 "2014-06-24T23:08:12Z")
> [@stpauler](#): > > As a gay man, a single woman living alone in a house doesn’t ring any bells. The painting contractor bit though, that-for some reason-is a field that is just rife with lesbians. I don’t know why, but every single female painting contractor I’ve ever met is a lesbian. Even Cheryl Wheeler has a song about her partner (now wife) and a job of hers when she was a painting contractor. > > Syllogisms and all that, it doesn’t mean that you are one. It just means that the odds are assumed not to be on your side. Ha! OK, true story. When I first started painting in 1979, my business partner was another (straight) woman. After a year or so, we hired our first employee, who happened to be a gay man. What happened was inevitably, people assumed that she and I were a lesbian couple, and he was our straight boss. We thought about calling ourselves ourselves Two Dykes and a Faggot Painting. 😃 I’ve actually had quite a few women working for me over the years and I guess the gay:straight ratio has been about 50:50. I have a woman working for me now but she is straight and very much married. We are both aware, however, that many people will assume that we’re dykes (a couple, even) and we’re OK with that. ---
**Author:** ![tapu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/49beb7/32.png) [@tapu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tapu)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2014, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-my-neighbors-have-decided-that-i-am-a-lesbian/691483/50 "2014-06-25T00:14:56Z")
If any of you do decide you’re lesbians, let me know please. ~tapu ---
**Author:** ![epbrown01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ba0ec/32.png) [@epbrown01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/epbrown01)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2014, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-my-neighbors-have-decided-that-i-am-a-lesbian/691483/51 "2014-06-25T02:15:48Z")
> [@JackieLikesVariety](#): > > Platonic Life Partner is a thing? Everything’s a thing. It’s wild to me that guys go around thinking the only reason a woman wouldn’t throw herself at them is she’s gay. Who in a normal walk of life seriously thinks they’re **that** attractive? The best response would have been if the OP had said “Wait - Tom and Jerry are straight? Wow, I thought they were a couple. I’ve felt kinda bad, thinking about them maintaining two houses to keep up appearances…” ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2014, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-my-neighbors-have-decided-that-i-am-a-lesbian/691483/52 "2014-06-25T02:32:41Z")
> [@epbrown01](#): > > Everything’s a thing. > > It’s wild to me that guys go around thinking the only reason a woman wouldn’t throw herself at them is she’s gay. … It’s not the only reason. But it is the most comfortable and utterly self-serving reason. ---
**Author:** ![Friend\_of\_Bill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eada6e/32.png) [@Friend\_of\_Bill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Friend_of_Bill)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2014, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-my-neighbors-have-decided-that-i-am-a-lesbian/691483/53 "2014-06-25T02:41:37Z")
[Making Love In A Subaru](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tCLQbd1YNMY&feature=kp) ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2014, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-my-neighbors-have-decided-that-i-am-a-lesbian/691483/54 "2014-06-25T02:49:11Z")
> [@leftfield6](#): > > Hmm. Here’s my list. > > 1. I love having sex with women and have no interest in having sex with men. > 2. 06 Subaru Outback wagon (with hitch) is my car. > 3. Dog household > 4. Indigo Girls and Melissa Etheridge CDs in domicile. And I LOVE Natalie Merchant > 5. Have been known to play softball. > I’m thinking I’m a lesbian too. I’ll have to discuss it with friends when we meet for brunch this Sunday. (oh shit, that’s probably another sign) 1. I love having sex with men and I have no interest in having sex with women. 2. Just traded the 2001 Outback for a 2011 Legacy 3. Snail household 4. Rammstein and Who CDs in domicile 5. Never played softball in my life, not even in gym class. I guess I’m not a lesbian. In fact, I’m starting to wonder if I’m even female. ---
**Author:** ![papergirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/aca169/32.png) [@papergirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/papergirl)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2014, 11:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-my-neighbors-have-decided-that-i-am-a-lesbian/691483/55 "2014-06-25T11:24:36Z")
> [@JackieLikesVariety](#): > > Platonic Life Partner is a thing? I’m not sure if we invented it (probably not), but it nutshells our relationship nicely, I think. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2014, 11:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-my-neighbors-have-decided-that-i-am-a-lesbian/691483/56 "2014-06-25T11:43:25Z")
> [@epbrown01](#): > > It’s wild to me that guys go around thinking the only reason a woman wouldn’t throw herself at them is she’s gay. Who in a normal walk of life seriously thinks they’re **that** attractive? I always figured that was at the root of a lot of homophobia - obviously they’re such stud muffins that gay guys would be all over them! Or worse, those evil gay guys would treat them the same way that they (the homophobes) have treated women in the past. :rolleyes: Some people are \*way \*too concerned about what other people do in their private lives… ---
**Author:** ![Razncain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9d8465/32.png) [@Razncain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Razncain)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2014, 11:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-my-neighbors-have-decided-that-i-am-a-lesbian/691483/57 "2014-06-25T11:58:32Z")
Well, to the OP, my guess is that you’re at least a reasonably nice looking woman, and since you haven’t shown any interest in two old fat guys down the street that are by themselves and probably lonely, they are probably a little bit hurt, and instead of them realizing they are not in your league and a bit more picky, they would rather assume you’re a lesbian, to make themselves feel better. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2014, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-my-neighbors-have-decided-that-i-am-a-lesbian/691483/58 "2014-06-25T12:02:27Z")
What I’ve learned from this thread is that I am a lesbian and possibly RivkahChaya’s husband. Now I’m confused. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2014, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-my-neighbors-have-decided-that-i-am-a-lesbian/691483/59 "2014-06-25T12:10:36Z")
> [@razncain](#): > > they would rather assume you’re a lesbian, to make themselves feel better. its the asshole’s standard [default assumption](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-8KmEtyg22M) ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2014, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-my-neighbors-have-decided-that-i-am-a-lesbian/691483/60 "2014-06-25T12:10:56Z")
> [@chiroptera](#): > > Ha! > > OK, true story. When I first started painting in 1979, my business partner was another (straight) woman. After a year or so, we hired our first employee, who happened to be a gay man. > > What happened was inevitably, people assumed that she and I were a lesbian couple, and he was our straight boss. We thought about calling ourselves ourselves Two Dykes and a Faggot Painting. 😃 > > I’ve actually had quite a few women working for me over the years and I guess the gay:straight ratio has been about 50:50. I have a woman working for me now but she is straight and very much married. We are both aware, however, that many people will assume that we’re dykes (a couple, even) and we’re OK with that. It’s like a Bosom Buddies/Remington Steele mashup gone horribly awry. This thing has legs! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-my-neighbors-have-decided-that-i-am-a-lesbian/691483.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-my-neighbors-have-decided-that-i-am-a-lesbian/691483.md?page=4)