# Some of my neighbors have decided that I am a lesbian. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 23, 2014, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-my-neighbors-have-decided-that-i-am-a-lesbian/691483 "2014-06-23T21:25:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2014, 12:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-my-neighbors-have-decided-that-i-am-a-lesbian/691483/61 "2014-06-25T12:17:31Z")
So let it be written, so let it be done. ---
**Author:** ![chiroptera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@chiroptera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chiroptera)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2014, 12:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-my-neighbors-have-decided-that-i-am-a-lesbian/691483/62 "2014-06-25T12:25:49Z")
I’m actually liking the suggestions to mention to Joe that I figured Tom and Jerry to be gay. With instructions to relay that back to them. I’ve actually dated and had something of a sex life in the last few years; I doubt either of them has. Tom virtually never leaves his house as far as I can tell. Pretty much the only time I see Jerry is when he hoists his fat ass on his riding mower and does his lawn. Other silly company names I’ve thought about in the past - Dip & Stroke Painting, Rolling Dykes, Room With a Hue, Spray Mistress Painting (I know of a Spray Master Painting), Sticky Fingers Painting…my real DBA is quite boring though. Just \ Painting. ---
**Author:** ![Razncain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9d8465/32.png) [@Razncain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Razncain)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2014, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-my-neighbors-have-decided-that-i-am-a-lesbian/691483/63 "2014-06-25T12:26:52Z")
> [@Slithy\_Tove](#): > > its the asshole’s standard [default assumption](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-8KmEtyg22M) I loved that part in the movie! ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2014, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-my-neighbors-have-decided-that-i-am-a-lesbian/691483/64 "2014-06-25T13:11:18Z")
I’m going to fulfill a mammoth cliché here and not only say that some of my dearest friends are gay but a lesbian couple raised my adopted kids when the Ex and I were at work. It would be an insult to call that relationship “Day Care” because to this day I’m close with one of them and she’ll always be my kids’ other other Mom. I use the word dyke with the utmost of affection and respect, and as much understanding as this straight guy can have. > [@monstro](#): > > I suspect everyone thinks I’m a lesbian at work. Dyke. > [@](#): > > I’m artsy. Dyke. > [@](#): > > I am outdoorsy. Dyke. > [@](#): > > I don’t have a man and I don’t ever talk about getting one. Dyke. > [@](#): > > I have short hair. Dyke. > [@](#): > > I drive a Subaru. Dyke. You’re batting a thousand here. But look, **monstro** , you’re living a carefully designed construct here. If I stop by your place and find Season One of “Orange is The New Black” DVD box leaning against a half-killed bottle of Petron Silver on an end table underneath a commemorative plate of the 1998 k.d. lang European Tour, I’ll nominate you myself for GLAD Member of the Year 😃 **chiroptera** , you may well be stirring a pot whose boiling point will be reached by late August. Of _course_ Tom and Jerry are both gay and their day to day existence is the kind of tension-filled pas de deux that comprised the first few seasons of the hit sitcom “Cheers”. Will He Won’t He Does He Doesn’t He Why Won’t He Should I. From the comfort of your front porch, comfortably clad in a pizza-and-Michelob-stained wifebeater, Levis and unlaced Timberland’s you get to watch this dance unfold. God, I wish I was a delivery man on your route. Does your town have a Fourth of July Parade? You could build a float. IMAGINE the visual possibilities. If you’re down south and you’ve a sizeable Baptist clientele, name your company Holey Rollers. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2014, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-my-neighbors-have-decided-that-i-am-a-lesbian/691483/65 "2014-06-25T14:33:20Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > Obviously something with no nuts. Thread win! ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2014, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-my-neighbors-have-decided-that-i-am-a-lesbian/691483/66 "2014-06-25T17:00:04Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > Hmmm … I wonder how that would work as a pickup line? I do believe the whole ‘male lesbian’ thing has been tried, used up, left to decompose on the ground, been eaten and then horked up by the cat, thrown in the trash, and found its way to the landfill. But with a little bit of digging, you can probably retrieve it from there, and see if it works any better nowadays. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![orderfire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/orderfire/32/10908_2.png) [@orderfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/orderfire)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2014, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-my-neighbors-have-decided-that-i-am-a-lesbian/691483/67 "2014-06-26T20:21:54Z")
> [@cmyk](#): > > Ask Joe if he knows where you can buy a rooster. > > When he asks why, tell him you love cock. Actually, as a painter, she may have a need for lots of caulk…and holes that need to be filled with caulk. Ahem. ---
**Author:** ![chiroptera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@chiroptera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chiroptera)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2014, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-my-neighbors-have-decided-that-i-am-a-lesbian/691483/68 "2014-06-26T20:29:48Z")
> [@orderfire](#): > > Actually, as a painter, she may have a need for lots of caulk…and holes that need to be filled with caulk. > > Ahem. Because, I have never heard puns along this line before. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2014, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-my-neighbors-have-decided-that-i-am-a-lesbian/691483/69 "2014-06-26T20:38:46Z")
Do you drink [bottled water](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6poJuGZ0cl4)? ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2014, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-my-neighbors-have-decided-that-i-am-a-lesbian/691483/70 "2014-06-26T20:56:21Z")
I think a lesbian painting firm needs to be named “A Lick and a Promise”. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![chiroptera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@chiroptera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chiroptera)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2014, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-my-neighbors-have-decided-that-i-am-a-lesbian/691483/71 "2014-06-26T21:11:14Z")
> [@Kimballkid](#): > > Do you drink [bottled water](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6poJuGZ0cl4)? I’m dense, I guess. I don’t get it? Should I? ---
**Author:** ![chiroptera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@chiroptera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chiroptera)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2014, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-my-neighbors-have-decided-that-i-am-a-lesbian/691483/72 "2014-06-26T21:12:47Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > I think a lesbian painting firm needs to be named “A Lick and a Promise”. > > Regards, > Shodan Not that amusing, although considered. “Hot Flash Painting” was in the running for a while, though. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2014, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-my-neighbors-have-decided-that-i-am-a-lesbian/691483/73 "2014-06-26T21:20:37Z")
> [@Kimballkid](#): > > Do you drink [bottled water](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6poJuGZ0cl4)? > [@chiroptera](#): > > I’m dense, I guess. I don’t get it? Should I? Hie thee to Netflix or a video store and get the movie _Heathers_! It’s a definite must see!! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-my-neighbors-have-decided-that-i-am-a-lesbian/691483.md?page=3)