# Some of the things I've learned watching Seinfeld **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 3, 2017, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721 "2017-08-03T22:17:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 10
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2018, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/181 "2018-07-10T20:53:24Z")
> [@ftg](#): > > The problem is with the other person, not the speaker. In this case, the speaker cannot, through no fault of his/her own, **make it clear** what he/she wants because of his/her accent. Ergo, he/she cannot \*\*distinguish \*\*between the two, to the satisfaction of the listener. Perfectly legitimate use of the word **distinguish** , if you ask me.\* \*And I am, if you check my profile, a cunning linguist. šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2018, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/182 "2018-09-19T02:48:12Z")
Cockfighting involves chickens. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2018, 10:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/183 "2018-09-19T10:57:27Z")
> [@G0sp3l](#): > > You are no comedian. > > real is spectacular > [@Darren\_Garrison](#): > > Thereā€™s nothing wrong with that. Wow, first two responses completely miss the point. ---
**Author:** ![Wheelz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wheelz/32/5718_2.png) [@Wheelz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wheelz)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2018, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/184 "2018-09-19T19:59:00Z")
Spending the night is _optional._ ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2018, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/185 "2018-12-07T05:29:03Z")
Bumped. Hereā€™s an interview with Andy Cowan, a former contributor to the show (heā€™s the guy who came up with ā€œThe Opposite,ā€ in which George ignores his instincts and does the opposite thing). Some of Cowanā€™s never-used ideas appear as bulleted points below the ā€œThe Puffy Shirtā€ etc. headline near the end of the story - some of those couldā€™ve been pretty funny, I think! > **[There's Something About Andy](https://www.american.edu/magazine/article/there-s-something-about-andy.cfm)** > > "Seinfeld" writer is the opposite of unfunny ---
**Author:** ![Slash1972](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slash1972/32/6461_2.png) [@Slash1972](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slash1972)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2018, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/186 "2018-12-07T16:30:43Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > Bumped. > > Hereā€™s an interview with Andy Cowan, a former contributor to the show (heā€™s the guy who came up with ā€œThe Opposite,ā€ in which George ignores his instincts and does the opposite thing). Some of Cowanā€™s never-used ideas appear as bulleted points below the ā€œThe Puffy Shirtā€ etc. headline near the end of the story - some of those couldā€™ve been pretty funny, I think! > > [There's Something About Andy | American Magazine | American University, Washington, D.C.](https://www.american.edu/magazine/article/there-s-something-about-Andy.cfm) Damn, if I didnā€™t know beforehand, I would have sworn those were actual episodes that I somehow had missed. ---
**Author:** ![swampspruce](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampspruce/32/261_2.png) [@swampspruce](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampspruce)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2018, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/187 "2018-12-07T21:33:18Z")
Those would have been great episodes.The orgasmic sneezing almost writes itself; Kramer walking around with a pepper shaker in his pocketā€¦ ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2018, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/188 "2018-12-09T20:27:05Z")
**NEW ONE:** Chicks donā€™t like it when you give their navels voices. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2019, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/189 "2019-01-30T04:09:54Z")
A friend of mine in Ohio just emailed me to say he saw a great license plate today: YADA X3 ---
**Author:** ![zimaane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a3d4f5/32.png) [@zimaane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zimaane)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2019, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/190 "2019-02-05T16:38:41Z")
> [@](#): > > Rich old men eat snicker bars with a knife and fork; How do you eat your candy bars? with your _hands_?? ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2019, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/191 "2019-02-07T01:58:02Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > A friend of mine in Ohio just emailed me to say he saw a great license plate today: > > YADA X3 I like ASSMAN. Shows that proctologists have great senses of humor! šŸ†’ ---
**Author:** ![Enola\_Gay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/3ab097/32.png) [@Enola\_Gay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Gay)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2019, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/192 "2019-02-07T02:41:14Z")
Thereā€™s a Festivus for the rest of us! Visiting a dentist whose lobby magazines are porn, can be dangerous. Maybe a dingo atecha baby I think it moved ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2019, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/193 "2019-02-07T03:50:50Z")
> [@Enola\_Gay](#): > > Visiting a dentist whose lobby magazines are porn, can be dangerous. \*\*COROLLARY: \*\* Not all letters in ā€œPenthouse Forumā€ were made up. ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2019, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/194 "2019-02-07T16:56:34Z")
People will think youā€™re a caveman if you walk without moving your arms. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2019, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/195 "2019-02-07T17:07:30Z")
People will think youā€™re retarded if you try to talk after a shot of novocaine. (Wearing funny trainers helps too.) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721.md?page=9)