# Some of the things I've learned watching Seinfeld **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 3, 2017, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721 "2017-08-03T22:17:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2017, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/21 "2017-08-04T02:47:58Z")
Never insult pony owners in front of old European immigrants. While you \*can \*convert to Judaism for the jokes, it’s not looked upon kindly. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2017, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/22 "2017-08-04T02:55:37Z")
Do _not_ refuse to wear the AIDS ribbon. Bosco. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2017, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/23 "2017-08-04T02:58:20Z")
My boys need room. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2017, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/24 "2017-08-04T02:59:12Z")
There was a second spitter. ---
**Author:** ![Bumbershoot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bumbershoot/32/3428_2.png) [@Bumbershoot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bumbershoot)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2017, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/25 "2017-08-04T03:10:26Z")
Medical journals have not yet confirmed that standing in a pool of someone else’s urine is beneficial to one’s health. ---
**Author:** ![Channing\_Idaho\_Banks](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/channing_idaho_banks/32/250_2.png) [@Channing\_Idaho\_Banks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Channing_Idaho_Banks)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2017, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/26 "2017-08-04T03:23:57Z")
Fuckface Steve Bannon made his fortune with Seinfeld, so he is dead to me. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2017, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/27 "2017-08-04T03:38:41Z")
> [@Darren\_Garrison](#): > > Joel Rimkin is a murder’s name–best change it to O.J. [Joel Rifkin](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joel_Rifkin), actually. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2017, 7:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/28 "2017-08-04T07:03:01Z")
It’s all pipes. ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2017, 7:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/29 "2017-08-04T07:07:23Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > 1. Women indulge in self-gratification just as much as men do. No chance that’s true. As I recall, in the famous episode to which you’re surely referring, the guys were super reluctant to even allow Elaine in on the bet due to the fact that she _is_ a woman. The only reason the writers didn’t have her win is because that would have been too obvious and stereotype-reinforcing. But in reality, there’s just no way that statement would hold up under data scrutiny. ---
**Author:** ![erysichthon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d07c76/32.png) [@erysichthon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/erysichthon)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2017, 7:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/30 "2017-08-04T07:12:45Z")
If you rent a car and purchase the optional insurance coverage, you can beat the _hell_ out of it. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2017, 11:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/31 "2017-08-04T11:10:42Z")
There’s a difference between TAKING a reservation and HOLDING it. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2017, 11:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/32 "2017-08-04T11:31:15Z")
Muffin bottoms are more trouble than they are worth. ---
**Author:** ![Gretchion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8edcca/32.png) [@Gretchion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gretchion)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2017, 11:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/33 "2017-08-04T11:34:50Z")
Hey, it’s Seinfeld. No hugging, no learning. That’s the Seinfeld credo. ---
**Author:** ![snowthx](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowthx/32/10660_2.png) [@snowthx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snowthx)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2017, 12:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/34 "2017-08-04T12:36:23Z")
Vandelay Industries sells fine latex products. Oh, yes, Beefaroni. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2017, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/35 "2017-08-04T12:55:35Z")
Never wear a Baltimore Orioles baseball cap if you’re sitting in the owner’s box at a Yankees game. ---
**Author:** ![CheshireKat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheshirekat/32/1207_2.png) [@CheshireKat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CheshireKat)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2017, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/36 "2017-08-04T13:09:15Z")
I learned that there exists a big, fat, awesome cake-like cookie covered in chocolate and vanilla icing. The Black and White Cookie - yum! ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2017, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/37 "2017-08-04T13:41:33Z")
A George divided against itself cannot stand. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2017, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/38 "2017-08-04T13:44:57Z")
> [@Rigamarole](#): > > But in reality, there’s just no way that statement would hold up under data scrutiny. Cite? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![WOOKINPANUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wookinpanub/32/132_2.png) [@WOOKINPANUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WOOKINPANUB)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2017, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/39 "2017-08-04T13:45:31Z")
I did not know that John Cheever was gay (not that there’s anything wrong with it). Mailmen have a devious streak(and possible cannibalistic tendencies). Englishmen are bounders! ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2017, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/40 "2017-08-04T13:46:02Z")
Men should never expose themselves on the first date. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721.md?page=3)