# Some of the things I've learned watching Seinfeld **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 3, 2017, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721 "2017-08-03T22:17:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2017, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/41 "2017-08-04T14:07:17Z")
“Fat Free” might be a scam. ---
**Author:** ![AlsoNamedBort](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alsonamedbort/32/3213_2.png) [@AlsoNamedBort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AlsoNamedBort)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2017, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/42 "2017-08-04T14:22:25Z")
It shrinks. ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2017, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/43 "2017-08-04T14:59:50Z")
That I should modify the underside of my desk to have a compartment for a blanket and pillow, and a shelf for an alarm clock. ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim_r.mortiss/32/142_2.png) [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_R.Mortiss)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2017, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/44 "2017-08-04T15:14:49Z")
Wearing a wedding ring makes a man more attractive to women. Blood does not make a good coolant for your car’s radiator. Never hire Cubans to roll your crêpes . When in doubt, do the opposite. ---
**Author:** ![DrCube](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a3d4f5/32.png) [@DrCube](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrCube)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2017, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/45 "2017-08-04T15:34:34Z")
Before becoming a goofy family man with a low-paying desk job, and then a serious teacher-turned-drug-lord, Walter White was a dentist in NYC. ---
**Author:** ![AlsoNamedBort](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alsonamedbort/32/3213_2.png) [@AlsoNamedBort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AlsoNamedBort)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2017, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/46 "2017-08-04T15:37:50Z")
> [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](#): > > Never hire Cubans to roll your crêpes . Dominicans. ---
**Author:** ![Quimby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/22d042/32.png) [@Quimby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quimby)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2017, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/47 "2017-08-04T15:54:42Z")
I actually have a real, non joke answer to this: the first time I ordered Chow Fun was because of George’s description of it (“it’s a broad noodle”). Turned out I loved it and it’s one of my staple dishes to order ever since. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2017, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/48 "2017-08-04T16:07:47Z")
If you’re going to cheat on your fiancee, make sure you have an airtight cover story. Women don’t appreciate manure jokes. Even a woman with a botched nose job can be made to look beautiful. ---
**Author:** ![Karen\_X2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/90db22/32.png) [@Karen\_X2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Karen_X2)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2017, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/49 "2017-08-04T16:12:34Z")
Never double-dip I’m out ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2017, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/50 "2017-08-04T16:20:27Z")
You can get gonorrhea from riding a tractor in a bathing suit. ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2017, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/51 "2017-08-04T16:29:19Z")
George Steinbrenner and Donald Trump are basically the same guy. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Greenjeans](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr.greenjeans/32/551_2.png) [@Mr.Greenjeans](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Greenjeans)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2017, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/52 "2017-08-04T16:46:36Z")
> [@Trancephalic](#): > > Beefaroni. Actually, Beef-A-Reeno. (Fit for King and Queen-o!) ---
**Author:** ![AlsoNamedBort](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alsonamedbort/32/3213_2.png) [@AlsoNamedBort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AlsoNamedBort)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2017, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/53 "2017-08-04T16:48:31Z")
There’s good naked and bad naked. ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2017, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/54 "2017-08-04T17:15:19Z")
Hey! I’ve fished stuff out of the garbage and eaten it years before George did it! ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2017, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/55 "2017-08-04T17:22:52Z")
Don’t pee in the shower at the gym. ---
**Author:** ![AlsoNamedBort](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alsonamedbort/32/3213_2.png) [@AlsoNamedBort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AlsoNamedBort)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2017, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/56 "2017-08-04T18:07:38Z")
China Panda doesn’t deliver below 86th. ---
**Author:** ![muldoonthief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muldoonthief/32/3188_2.png) [@muldoonthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muldoonthief)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2017, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/57 "2017-08-04T18:22:21Z")
There’s nothing to rent in Tuscany. Take your pants off before you go on TV, to keep the crease. But don’t leave them on your chair. Engaging in sexual intercourse with the cleaning woman on the desk in your office is wrong. ---
**Author:** ![swampspruce](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampspruce/32/261_2.png) [@swampspruce](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampspruce)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2017, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/58 "2017-08-04T18:53:45Z")
No matter how I might have felt about my dancing prowess, I cannot be worse than Elaine. Kung Pao chicken. I made it after the episode and loved it ever since. I like my chicken spicy! Also, mangoes. I love them as well after Kramer’s rant. ---
**Author:** ![AlsoNamedBort](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alsonamedbort/32/3213_2.png) [@AlsoNamedBort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AlsoNamedBort)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2017, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/59 "2017-08-04T19:09:40Z")
> [@swampspruce](#): > > I like my chicken spicy! I think you mean “swampspruce likes his chicken spicy!” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2017, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/60 "2017-08-04T19:28:55Z")
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