# Some of the things I've learned watching Seinfeld **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 3, 2017, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721 "2017-08-03T22:17:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2017, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/81 "2017-08-05T13:40:49Z")
> [@cochrane](#): > > So is Kramer. So is Jerry. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2017, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/82 "2017-08-05T13:59:00Z")
> [@friedo](#): > > So is Jerry. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Quimby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/22d042/32.png) [@Quimby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quimby)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2017, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/83 "2017-08-05T14:18:15Z")
It’s the wood that makes it good. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2017, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/84 "2017-08-05T14:41:53Z")
> [@friedo](#): > > So is Jerry. So is the Soup Nazi. [http://originalsoupman.com/](http://originalsoupman.com/) ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2017, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/85 "2017-08-05T22:18:58Z")
Going down on a woman can ruin your singing career. Corollary to the above: Swirling can be done either clockwise or counterclockwise, depending on personal preference. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2017, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/86 "2017-08-05T23:04:36Z")
Also, heightening can make a little person an outcast among his or her peers. ---
**Author:** ![muldoonthief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muldoonthief/32/3188_2.png) [@muldoonthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muldoonthief)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2017, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/87 "2017-08-06T01:45:59Z")
The original title of _War and Peace_ was not _War - What is it Good For_. > [@Casey1505](#): > > Beef-a-rino (copyright infringement sidestep, I guess) > > That only works in[Breaking Bad](http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/04/07/better-call-saul-breaking-bad-reference_n_7016702.html), unless it or was clipped from _Seinfeld_? [George Costanza](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vn_PSJsl0LQ) was telling sincere lies long before Breaking Bad. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2017, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/88 "2017-08-06T03:14:27Z")
> [@cochrane](#): > > So is Kramer. Sure, but Kramer is the type of weird I’ve seen in real life. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2017, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/89 "2017-08-06T03:47:28Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > That sponges for ladies exist. [These do.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Contraceptive_sponge) > [@terentii](#): > > Going down on a woman can ruin your singing career. Jazz saxophone career. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2017, 7:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/90 "2017-08-06T07:34:21Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > Jazz saxophone career. That’s right, my mistake. I wonder if he’d attempted the swirl? ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2017, 7:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/91 "2017-08-06T07:39:54Z")
Just because you sample playing for the other team doesn’t mean it’ll take. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2017, 10:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/92 "2017-08-06T10:03:50Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > [These do.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Contraceptive_sponge) Well, yeah. That’s what I meant. All but the last one are real things I learned. I’d never heard of feminine sponges before then. Note that I was 10 years old when that episode aired. ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2017, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/93 "2017-08-06T13:18:37Z")
I thought the Junior Mint _caused_ the mysterious post-op complication? Old people think it’s okay to steal batteries. A Frogger machine was continuously powered on for 15-20? years and didn’t lose it’s high score in NYC. Despite blackouts and such. Outlets are called “holes”. Hookers will use your car in the parking lot. George Steinbrenner could declare someone dead. It’s not okay to make out during _Schindler’s List_. The Van Buren Boys are big trouble. ---
**Author:** ![Andy\_L](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c67d28/32.png) [@Andy\_L](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Andy_L)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2017, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/94 "2017-08-06T13:25:01Z")
It’s vital that people know who paid for a big salad. My wallet is “Costanza” styled… ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2017, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/95 "2017-08-06T13:35:56Z")
> [@ftg](#): > > I thought the Junior Mint _caused_ the mysterious post-op complication? Well, he recovered from it. You can draw your own conclusions. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2017, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/96 "2017-08-06T13:37:05Z")
Never make a coffee table from an abandoned windshield. Never use a meat slicer for anything other than meat. Never fuck with a Mandelbaum. Don’t mock fat people. You can make a fortune by hauling your cans and bottles to Michigan. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2017, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/97 "2017-08-06T13:46:22Z")
Macinaw peaches are ripe only two weeks out of the year. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2017, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/98 "2017-08-07T13:36:14Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > Clowns are scary. You didn’t know that until _Seinfeld_? ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2017, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/99 "2017-08-07T15:20:23Z")
Manhands on a woman are grounds for ending a romance. Always check your teeth before going into a job interview. Hospitals will not offer you compensation if one of their mental patients commits suicide by falling 12 storeys onto your car. Never agree to anything a low talker may ask you to do. ---
**Author:** ![AlsoNamedBort](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alsonamedbort/32/3213_2.png) [@AlsoNamedBort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AlsoNamedBort)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2017, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/100 "2017-08-07T15:26:10Z")
Piano players warm up by cracking their knuckles. That old woman in _Titanic_ is a liar and a bit of tramp. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721.md?page=6)