# Some of the things I've learned watching Seinfeld **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 3, 2017, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721 "2017-08-03T22:17:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2017, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/101 "2017-08-07T16:53:42Z")
PEZ dispensers are hilarious. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2017, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/102 "2017-08-07T19:45:47Z")
Having sex on your office desk with the cleaning lady will likely get you fired. Cashmere on sale is usually a poor gift idea. Always check for top button placement on your shirt prior to purchase. ---
**Author:** ![divemaster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/divemaster/32/78_2.png) [@divemaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/divemaster)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2017, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/103 "2017-08-07T20:13:12Z")
> [@Channing\_Idaho\_Banks](#): > > Fuckface Steve Bannon made his fortune with Seinfeld, so he is dead to me. This debunked fake news still cropping up? from the Washington Post: > [@](#): > > …the “Seinfeld” rights went to Société Générale when Bannon sold his firm, but that he and his partner still receive payments. Sure enough, Bannon’s White House disclosure form showed income from Société Générale of between $50,000 and $100,000 last year. Another source said the number was closer to $100,000. It’s been 20 years since Bannon struck the fateful deal, meaning that he’s probably collected as much as $2 million. That’s hardly pocket change, but it also means “Seinfeld” has had a relatively small impact on Bannon’s net worth, which may be as big as $48 million, according to financial disclosure forms. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2017, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/104 "2017-08-07T21:25:43Z")
More often than not, a hipster doofus will do the exact opposite of what you expect or want. Never get caught staring at a 15-year-old girl’s cleavage, no matter how nice it is. :o Eating 70-year-old movie theater hot dogs will make you sick. Always check the photos you send out on Christmas cards. Check them \*very \*carefully. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2017, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/105 "2017-08-07T21:44:40Z")
Poppy pees on sofas. ---
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2017, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/106 "2017-08-07T21:54:41Z")
It’s not Suze. It’s Susie! ---
**Author:** ![hogarth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hogarth/32/1773_2.png) [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2017, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/107 "2017-08-07T22:10:19Z")
“Eno enoa juang” is Korean for “This guy…this is not my kind of guy”. ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2017, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/108 "2017-08-08T15:17:22Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > Having sex on your office desk with the cleaning lady will likely get you fired. Was that wrong? Should I have not done that? I tell you, I gotta plead ignorance on this thing because if anyone had said anything to me at all when I first started here that that sort of thing was frowned upon, you know, 'cause I’ve worked in a lot of offices and I tell you people do that all the time. ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2017, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/109 "2017-08-08T16:39:09Z")
Doormen are jerks. Your medical record gets passed around from doctor to doctor whether you want it to or not. The Three Stooges short _Sappy Pappy_ wasn’t a Shemp, it was a Curly. Rabbis will repeat things on TV that you told them in private. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2017, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/110 "2017-08-08T17:16:19Z")
You are not a \*\*real \*\*man if you don’t move in on a comatose neighbor’s hot girlfriend. Falling butt-first onto a fusilli sculpture is painful. Women should be grateful when a man pushes them out of the way in an emergency, because he’s treating them as equals. 3D art can be very distracting. ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2017, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/111 "2017-08-08T19:36:27Z")
Poppy seed bagels can make you fail a drug test. ---
**Author:** ![G0sp3l](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c68b51/32.png) [@G0sp3l](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G0sp3l)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2017, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/112 "2017-08-08T20:38:19Z")
Grandmother’s are on a very fixed income. Vintage raincoats are huge sellers ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2017, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/113 "2017-08-08T22:15:36Z")
Just the trees, Johnie, just the trees. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2017, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/114 "2017-08-08T22:28:41Z")
The Kavorka is a terrible responsibility. Never let a shiksa choose the mohel for your son. Fear is our most primal emotion. Never try to mug a clown walking in the park at night. ---
**Author:** ![G0sp3l](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c68b51/32.png) [@G0sp3l](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G0sp3l)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2017, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/115 "2017-08-08T22:41:36Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > \Never try to mug a clown walking in the park at night.\ That entire sentence gives me the shivers. {shudder} ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2017, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/116 "2017-08-08T23:00:41Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > Don’t mock fat people. If you do, make sure you’re not being recorded. :mad: ---
**Author:** ![AlsoNamedBort](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alsonamedbort/32/3213_2.png) [@AlsoNamedBort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AlsoNamedBort)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2017, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/117 "2017-08-08T23:10:27Z")
When installing a garbage disposal, you’ve got to dismantle the latch hasp from the auxiliary drainage line, not the main line. Undercoating is a rip-off. ---
**Author:** ![chorpler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chorpler/32/2888_2.png) [@chorpler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chorpler)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2017, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/118 "2017-08-09T02:09:47Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > Eating 70-year-old movie theater hot dogs will make you sick. Interesting texture… ---
**Author:** ![Oglomott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oglomott/32/3543_2.png) [@Oglomott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oglomott)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2017, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/119 "2017-08-09T02:17:33Z")
For power in the shower, you want the Commando 450. Even if it’s made for circus elephants. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2017, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/120 "2017-08-09T13:51:11Z")
If your name is the same as a famous killer’s, it’s best to change it to O.J. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721.md?page=7)