# Some of the things I've learned watching Seinfeld **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 3, 2017, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721 "2017-08-03T22:17:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![chulio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e5b9ba/32.png) [@chulio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chulio)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2018, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/161 "2018-03-20T04:34:48Z")
“War and Peace” was originally titled “War What Is It Good For” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2018, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/162 "2018-03-20T04:42:01Z")
Cotton shrinks when you wash it. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2018, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/163 "2018-03-20T04:44:10Z")
> [@WOOKINPANUB](#): > > Englishmen are bounders! You mean “Englishmen are BOUNDERS!” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2018, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/164 "2018-03-20T04:56:15Z")
Eggplant calzones are a real thing. ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2018, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/165 "2018-03-20T13:10:21Z")
That I’m not the only person who thought _The English Patient_ was boring. ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2018, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/166 "2018-03-20T13:12:59Z")
Salad’s got nothin’ on this mutton. ---
**Author:** ![Enright3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/enright3/32/2897_2.png) [@Enright3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enright3)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2018, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/167 "2018-03-22T15:12:07Z")
> [@Andy\_L](#): > > It’s vital that people know who paid for a big salad. > > My wallet is “Costanza” styled… What’s a Big Salad? It’s like a regular salad, only bigger. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2018, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/168 "2018-06-27T13:49:32Z")
Unveiling a nose job is as exciting as watching a bris. ---
**Author:** ![robardin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/43a26b/32.png) [@robardin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robardin)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2018, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/169 "2018-06-27T17:03:09Z")
> [@Sherrerd](#): > > But, soup is not a meal. Except for soup in a bread bowl. First you eat the soup, then you eat the bowl. I tell you, there’s nothing more satisfying than finishing your lunch and seeing nothing but table! ---
**Author:** ![beowulff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beowulff/32/542_2.png) [@beowulff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beowulff)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2018, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/170 "2018-06-27T17:49:00Z")
Don’t take the pen. ---
**Author:** ![TBG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c89c15/32.png) [@TBG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TBG)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2018, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/171 "2018-06-27T23:28:29Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > Europorn is good material for a musical. 🆒 NO BETTE MIDDULAAAAAAAAAA (midler) is a huge crisis event. > [@](#): > > 1. You can get more for empty pop bottles in Michigan than you can in New York State. Not just pop bottles, any container for any carbonated beverage from sparkling grape juice (in bottles like wine bottles) to beer cans. But it’s illegal if the container is from out of state and you try to return it. (seinfeld ep caused many signs about the illegality to pop up on return machines back in the day) ---
**Author:** ![67java89](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/aeb1de/32.png) [@67java89](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/67java89)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2018, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/172 "2018-07-06T21:05:01Z")
> [@AlsoNamedBort](#): > > Sidenote: I really wish the Mythbusters tested this. They went overboard by having dead pigs rot in a car for a month. I would like to see Adam not shower for a week, drive around for an hour, and then see what happens. No, they would have to test it with a VALET. ---
**Author:** ![TBG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c89c15/32.png) [@TBG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TBG)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2018, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/173 "2018-07-08T01:46:39Z")
Who invaded Spain in the 8th century? MOOPS! _sorry if this is a repeat or such, but I’m not (re)reading 4 pages to see_ ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2018, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/174 "2018-07-10T12:54:55Z")
Cats can survive for days exclusively on a diet of cured meats. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2018, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/175 "2018-07-10T13:14:51Z")
Salsa is the number one condiment in America. Spanish people have trouble distinguishing between salsa and seltzer. ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2018, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/176 "2018-07-10T16:32:01Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > Salsa is the number one condiment in America. > > Spanish people have trouble distinguishing between salsa and seltzer. Bzzzt. Wrong. Actual quote: George: “You know it must be impossible for a Spanish person to order seltzer and not get salsa.” The Spanish speaker knows the difference, it’s the _listener_ who has the problem. ---
**Author:** ![Goodnight-Loving](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9fc29f/32.png) [@Goodnight-Loving](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Goodnight-Loving)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2018, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/177 "2018-07-10T17:16:10Z")
The Houston Astros’ executives drink and curse…a lot. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2018, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/178 "2018-07-10T20:22:26Z")
> [@ftg](#): > > Bzzzt. Wrong. Actual quote: > > George: “You know it must be impossible for a Spanish person to order seltzer and not get salsa.” > > The Spanish speaker knows the difference, it’s the _listener_ who has the problem. **distinguish** \* verb \* to notice or understand the difference between two things,\*\* or to make one person or thing seem different from another\*\*: _It’s important to distinguish between business and pleasure._ > **[distinguish](https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/distinguish)** > > 1. to notice or understand the difference between two things, or to make one… ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2018, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/179 "2018-07-10T20:34:21Z")
Yo-Yo Ma is a cellist. Dry cleaners can get vomit out of suede. Never becoming a banker can drive you to suicide. You can contest a speeding ticket by claiming you were trying to keep a friend from committing suicide. ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2018, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721/180 "2018-07-10T20:40:58Z")
One must presume the use of George of the term “Spanish” to imply that a person with a Spanish accent would “naturally” want salsa, not seltzer. The inability to say clearly each word is presumably not a Spanish speaking problem. I.e., why not a Polish person or a Hindi speaker? I run into problems all the time, and I do mean _incredibly_ often, with people mistaking what I say merely because they are making erroneous assumptions in processing my statements. Not because of what I said but because of what they thought. The problem is with the other person, not the speaker. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-of-the-things-ive-learned-watching-seinfeld/792721.md?page=10)