# Some Old Toast **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 25, 2002, 11:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-old-toast/105527 "2002-04-25T11:40:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Rue\_DeDay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/41988e/32.png) [@Rue\_DeDay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rue_DeDay)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2002, 11:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-old-toast/105527/1 "2002-04-25T11:40:16Z")
I had a piece of toast sitting in the toaster for 22 hours. I threw it out this morning. Thank you, that is all. -Rue. ---
**Author:** ![Why\_A\_Duck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/13edae/32.png) [@Why\_A\_Duck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Why_A_Duck)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2002, 11:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-old-toast/105527/2 "2002-04-25T11:41:32Z")
One word my boy: croutons. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2002, 11:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-old-toast/105527/3 "2002-04-25T11:43:20Z")
Did you throw it out before or after The Little Woman asked what the heck that old, cold piece of toast was doing in the toaster?? Just wonderin’… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Celyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9dc877/32.png) [@Celyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Celyn)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2002, 11:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-old-toast/105527/4 "2002-04-25T11:48:21Z")
Ha! only 22 hours? I had a bit of old toast in the toaster for weeks once, I think, Trouble was - I could _not_ work out why any time I tried to make toast it got quickly burnt. Of course, the ancient bit of toast was still there, turning into charcoal! ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Rue\_DeDay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/41988e/32.png) [@Rue\_DeDay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rue_DeDay)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2002, 12:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-old-toast/105527/5 "2002-04-25T12:14:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by FairyChatMom \* > **Did you throw it out before or after The Little Woman asked what the heck that old, cold piece of toast was doing in the toaster?? Just wonderin’…** Uhhh… after. Last night she came home from work and asked. It still stayed there overnight. So it’s not just me. -Rue. ---
**Author:** ![Exgineer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Exgineer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exgineer)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2002, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-old-toast/105527/6 "2002-04-25T12:49:11Z")
This is what happens when you get married. Suddenly you have to take the dessicated burnt bread out of the toaster after one lousy day? I bet you have to pick up your socks too. ---
**Author:** ![lno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@lno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lno)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2002, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-old-toast/105527/7 "2002-04-25T14:11:19Z")
“Honey, it’s just like when I don’t scrape off the grill before reusing it. It’s FLAVOUR!” ---
**Author:** ![Humble\_Servant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/47e85d/32.png) [@Humble\_Servant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Humble_Servant)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2002, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-old-toast/105527/8 "2002-04-25T15:02:11Z")
Here’s lookin’ at you, kid. ---
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2002, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-old-toast/105527/9 "2002-04-25T15:03:40Z")
So what’s the story? Why was it left in the toaster? I imagine it must be something important. Being an International Man of Mystery, I’m sure you were paged to hop a jet and fly to Bermuda or something, right? right? ---
**Author:** ![Zappo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b3f665/32.png) [@Zappo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zappo)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2002, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-old-toast/105527/10 "2002-04-25T15:04:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Humble Servant \* > \*\*Here’s lookin’ at you, kid. \*\* And may you be in Heaven half an hour before the Devil knows you’re dead. ---
**Author:** ![Bumbazine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bumbazine/32/362_2.png) [@Bumbazine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bumbazine)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2002, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-old-toast/105527/11 "2002-04-25T15:51:35Z")
Damn! **Humble Servant** beat me to it! Thank the Odd Gods of the Galaxy you didn’t eat it! You coulda gotten cancer. Or something. ---
**Author:** ![Humble\_Servant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/47e85d/32.png) [@Humble\_Servant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Humble_Servant)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2002, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-old-toast/105527/12 "2002-04-25T16:50:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Zappo \* > \*\*And may you be in Heaven half an hour before the Devil knows you’re dead. \*\* And here’s mud in your eye back atcha. So, if you drop a piece of toast that’s NOT buttered into the garbage, how can you tell which side will land up? Or do those new “smart” toasters have little settings that let you select butter/honey/marmalade during the actual toasting process meaning that my assumption that **Rue’s** toast was not actually buttered could be in error? Perhaps we would have time to discuss this before the taking of the tea and toast–perhaps over some toasty scones or something? ---
**Author:** ![cagiva650](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@cagiva650](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cagiva650)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2002, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-old-toast/105527/13 "2002-04-25T17:33:48Z")
Kitchen appliance Quickly heeds my anxious prayers Toast pressed to my cheek A slice of calmness In mankind’s world of bloodshed Spread some marmalade Consume nirvana God is not to be eaten But toast will suffice Spirit channeling Through my toasted breakfast treat Elvis on my plate Ritualistic A genesis of breakfast Immaculate toast Angry toastless man Malfunctioning appliance Senseless killing spree Head hung in despair Morning offering rises I thank my toaster Whole-grain metaphor Anguish soon will dissipate A bread transfigured Toast in pitch black room With a beautiful painting Valuable toast Intensely focused I anticipate my toast Somewhere a dog barks Proudly I preside Nineteen toasters hum in sync A kitchen aflame Summer in New York Children frying sidewalk eggs Beside my French toast Thirty-six croutons Sewn together with great care Spicy slice of toast Chilled below zero Superconducting breakfast With sweet grape jelly The warm chosen slice His jealous untoasted friends Waiting for their turn Hours after breakfast A lingering aroma The ghost of a toast Bakery arson Twelve thousand slices of toast A silver lining Willingly it meets Its destiny at breakfast Noble is my toast Scrape into the sink Constellation of black stars A toast neglected Loaf’s fortunate heels Spared from a toasty demise United at last (See also the sublime Reader-Contributed Toast Haiku…) ---
**Author:** ![Rue\_DeDay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/41988e/32.png) [@Rue\_DeDay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rue_DeDay)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2002, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-old-toast/105527/14 "2002-04-25T17:44:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by scout1222 \* > **So what’s the story? Why was it left in the toaster?** Being the Progressive Parent I am, I let Katcha pick his own breakfast yesterday. Whatcha want fer breakfast, m’boy? (I’m going to do this in colors. Just because I can. And think of all the time I’ll save not having to put in quotes and things like “I said” and “he said” and “he replied” and stuff. This new Board stuff is just great!) Toast! You want toast for breakfast? Yeah! Just toast? Yeah! So I made him some toast. I wasn’t worried he was going to get rickets or anything because I knew he was going to eat a wheel of cheese and a box of crackers and some grapes and probably a peanut butter sammich before lunch anyway. And he had a glass of milk. So you can see, nutrition is stressed in _my_ house. Then the toast popped up. There’s your toast! No want it! He’s two, he talks that way. Like Tarzan. But you said… Yeah, I really tried to reason with him. NO WANT IT! OK Then I gave him a PopTart. Untoasted, because that makes the filling real hot and there’s the possibility of burns. So it’s safety _and_ nutrition here. Yessirree Bob! But you’re right **Scout** , all this took place in Burmuda. And now **Zappo** wants me dead. That hurts **Zap** , that hurts. -Rue. ---
**Author:** ![Rue\_DeDay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/41988e/32.png) [@Rue\_DeDay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rue_DeDay)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2002, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-old-toast/105527/15 "2002-04-25T18:01:58Z")
Huh? Wha? Oh man! I overslept… who’s in Heaven? What? No way! I was supposed to get him ! I had dibbies! Damn this cheap clock with the broken snooze! Heh, that’s a good one. I’m the Devil, of course my clock is damned. Like these sheets and this bed and my nightstand, all damned. Still, that was a good one if I do say so myself… Where’s the phone… Ah, here it is, it got pushed back behind the lamp when I put my Jackie Collins book down… gotta make a call… 666-6648 (yeah, look it up on your own phone, it _is_ a joke, with Roman numerals even)… it’s ringing… ringing… Beelzebub, yeah it’s me, get me a new clock and make sure the snooze works right. Yeah. Bye. I blame **Zappo** for all of the above. -Rue. ---
**Author:** ![Rue\_DeDay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/41988e/32.png) [@Rue\_DeDay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rue_DeDay)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2002, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-old-toast/105527/16 "2002-04-25T18:03:33Z")
Oh crap! Beelzebub’s phone nuber was supposed to be 666-6684. Dang! I screwed up the joke. Now I’m sad. -Rue. (sad, sad Rue) ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2002, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-old-toast/105527/17 "2002-04-25T18:06:00Z")
So you just left the toast in the toaster after the rugrat said he didn’t want it. Some kinda parent you are **Rue**. You say safety is important in your house **hah!** I bet you left the toaster plugged into the outlet too, didn’t you? I bet the toaster also sits near the kitchen sink, doesn’t it? I bet you left the dishwater in the sink this morning. These are just the kinds of things a person who lets toast sit in a toaster for an **entire** day would do. Betcha didn’t think anyone would notice this little safety violation did ya? Bet you never once thought that innocent, adorable, naive, trusting **Katcha** might have noticed that toast sometime later and thought…hmmmm…toast…me want it. At which point he woulda pushed a chair up to the counter where the **plugged into the outlet toaster** was sitting next to the **sinkful of dirty dishwater** and might have accidently bumped the **plugged into the outlet toaster** into the **sinkful of dirty dishwater** and electrocuted his innocent little toddler self. **Safety first** indeed! **HUMMMMPH!** I bet you left the butter sitting out all day too. ---
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2002, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-old-toast/105527/18 "2002-04-25T18:12:33Z")
You mean, I’m _not_ supposed to keep my toaster in the sink? Good thing I don’t have kids. And I don’t get the phone number joke. Do I need to write it out in roman numerals or something? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Exgineer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Exgineer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exgineer)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2002, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-old-toast/105527/19 "2002-04-26T01:57:55Z")
Blah blah blah, safety first, blah blah blah, first-name basis with Satan, blah blah blah, Jackie Collins novel (echhh!), blah blah blah, dishwasher, blah blah blah… You still have to pick up your socks, DON’T YOU? [sup]C’mon. Throw the single guy a bone.[/sup] ---
**Author:** ![Rue\_DeDay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/41988e/32.png) [@Rue\_DeDay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rue_DeDay)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2002, 11:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-old-toast/105527/20 "2002-04-26T11:57:53Z")
**Ex** , not only do I have to pick up my socks, I have to make sure they get in the hamper. _And_ I’m usually the one to do the laundry. (How’s that? A good enough bone?) **Scout** , there is sort of a joke there. But as you can see, with the explaination it takes, it’s not really what you’d call a _good_ joke. Of course you know 666 is the Number of the Beast. Very bad. So, of course, Beelzebub uses it in his home phone number. The exchange is simple, it’s only three numbers. But the other part is four. So what do I do? I break the last “6” into the Roman “VI”. On the phone pad it’s “8” and “4”. So the second “666” is “66VI”. Not really a good joke, but I thought it was funny. Sorta. And since I blamed it all on **Zap** anyway, I don’t have to take the heat for it. Ha! **Swampy** , shows what you know. The toaster _is not_ by the sink. That’s where I keep the blender full of daiquiris. The toaster stays by the steak knives. -Rue. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-old-toast/105527.md?page=2)