# Some old white women. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 20, 2016, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-old-white-women/775249 "2016-12-20T18:22:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![WOOKINPANUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wookinpanub/32/132_2.png) [@WOOKINPANUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WOOKINPANUB)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2016, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-old-white-women/775249/81 "2016-12-21T15:03:10Z")
Okay, so since the OP is sincere, can you help me to understand the behavior you’re referring to? Paul Dean type shenanigans are what first come to my mind but you’ve mentioned feminism several times (2nd wave? 3rd wave? no idea what that means) so that wouldn’t seem to include the likes of her. I live in an area with a large amount of old white women, some bitchy, most not, but since I’m a \*future \*OWW it’s entirely possible they don’t unleash their full bitchiness upon me. I’m looking for actual examples here, not just “they seem” or “they think”. ---
**Author:** ![Jennshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Jennshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jennshark)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2016, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-old-white-women/775249/82 "2016-12-21T15:11:42Z")
Y’know what the scariest thing is about 50+ chicks like me? We do.not.give.a.fuck.what.anyone.thinks. Especially little boys. TONAWANDA!!! ---
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2016, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-old-white-women/775249/83 "2016-12-21T15:14:51Z")
> [@BeeGee](#): > > Sounds like you got your widdle feewwings hurt. Aw. Maybe if you’re constantly running into bitchy old white women, you need to ask yourself what you’re doing to make all these women so pissed off. Are you being a condescending little jerk? Maybe if you tried being less annoying and whiney. Or maybe if you didn’t make it quite so fucking obvious that you equate a woman’s looks with her power or abilities. Yeah, we get kinda bitchy about that sort of thing. Damn right. It sounds like the OP has encountered some older women that don’t want to bake him cookies, alter his clothes, be his substituted grandmother, etc., and he is disappointed ---
**Author:** ![Damuri\_Ajashi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/898d66/32.png) [@Damuri\_Ajashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Damuri_Ajashi)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2016, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-old-white-women/775249/84 "2016-12-21T15:20:35Z")
> [@Ulfreida](#): > > I’m an old white woman. Almost all my friends are old white women. We aren’t any more racist or sexist than we can manage. We don’t give a shit about our looks, and we don’t give a shit about you and your pathetic misogynist fantasies about our motivations, either. > > Also, I can kill you with my brain. So back off. That goes double for you. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2016, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-old-white-women/775249/85 "2016-12-21T15:32:47Z")
Look, being old _sucks_. You can’t eat and drink what you used to when you were young, because you’ll be in constant pain after doing it. Heartbeat becomes erratic, toes and feet tingle, bathroom visits become more frequent, and you can’t recover from pain as quickly as you used to. Your biggest topics of conversation are the meds you’re taking, your constant ailments, and the regularity of your bowel movements. Things like technology change too quickly. You have to adapt somehow or stay behind and miss out, and your remaining coping mechanism is to reminisce about the glory days when you actually had some degree of power and influence. Of course you’re bitter, and you give less of a shit how others feel. Louis CK had an episode of his show about a similar situation to the OP’s. He took his daughters to visit his great aunt. Louis wanted it to be an educational experience for his kids, so he asked the great aunt what it was like growing up. She said she grew up in a certain place, but her family moved “to get away from all the n_ **ers." She also called buckeyes "n** _er toes.” Louis was caught in the awkward position of having to explain to his daughters that the great aunt was a product of her times and to discourage them from talking like that. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2016, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-old-white-women/775249/86 "2016-12-21T15:59:33Z")
I have noticed that my father has gotten a lot crankier over the last few years. His health is ok, but not awesome (he’s 72). His hearing is horrible, so he misses conversations. He isn’t a doctor sort of guy, so I think there is some pain that isn’t being addressed. He has diabetes, so he can’t eat what he used to. His friends are starting to die - or have health issues that are worse than his that limit them. On a normal day, he is pretty cheerful. He made his living in sales, so he knows how to be agreeable. Catch him on a cranky day, and - I love him dearly - but he should limit his interaction with people. My mother and mother in law are both pretty non-cranky yet. My mother in law at 77 doesn’t process information as well as she used to - which can lead to her being a little frustrated - and that can come across as short tempered - a similar thing happens when my Dad misses out on conversations because of his hearing. I’m 50 - just post second wave feminism. I’ve always been an introvert - which apparently comes across as bitchy. As to entitled - well, I grew up in the generation that promised me women could do anything, one that promised equal pay for equal work, one that held the promise of respect instead of objectification. I think I’m entitled to those things. I think that its disappointing that we still have a long way to go. If that makes me a little bitter, well…as implied upthread, I ran out of fucks right around my 50th birthday and I’m kind of done having other people tell me which emotions are valid for me to have. ---
**Author:** ![Damuri\_Ajashi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/898d66/32.png) [@Damuri\_Ajashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Damuri_Ajashi)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2016, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-old-white-women/775249/87 "2016-12-21T19:38:17Z")
> [@WOOKINPANUB](#): > > Okay, so since the OP is sincere, can you help me to understand the behavior you’re referring to? Paul Dean type shenanigans are what first come to my mind but you’ve mentioned feminism several times (2nd wave? 3rd wave? no idea what that means) so that wouldn’t seem to include the likes of her. I live in an area with a large amount of old white women, some bitchy, most not, but since I’m a \*future \*OWW it’s entirely possible they don’t unleash their full bitchiness upon me. I’m looking for actual examples here, not just “they seem” or “they think”. No single event would justify this sort of generalization. Any single event can’t help but make this rant seem petty and anecdotal. The OP is based on a lifetime of observation working in retail stores, observing how people behave, etc. Based on the responses, I am not alone in this observation. Until fairly recently I did not understand the differences between the different waves of feminism but once I got my mind around it, it seemed like all the really nasty women I knew personally were actually second wave feminists (whether they knew it or not). So I limited my characterization to that subset of women. ---
**Author:** ![Disgruntled\_Penguin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@Disgruntled\_Penguin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Disgruntled_Penguin)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2016, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-old-white-women/775249/88 "2016-12-21T19:46:01Z")
> [@Damuri\_Ajashi](#): > > No single event would justify this sort of generalization. Any single event can’t help but make this rant seem petty and anecdotal. The OP is based on a lifetime of observation working in retail stores, observing how people behave, etc. > > Based on the responses, I am not alone in this observation. Until fairly recently I did not understand the differences between the different waves of feminism but once I got my mind around it, it seemed like all the really nasty women I knew personally were actually second wave feminists (whether they knew it or not). So I limited my characterization to that subset of women. And lets not forget the New Wave feminists like Debbie Harry. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2016, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-old-white-women/775249/89 "2016-12-21T20:08:36Z")
> [@Damuri\_Ajashi](#): > > Is it misogynist if its true? There is such a thing as mathematical truth, which tends to be a binary thing. There is truth in physics and chemistry, but that seems to have some blurry edges. When it comes to people and society, the diffusion of truth is far greater – it really is a fluid that cannot be contained in some arbitrary, phraseworthy vessel. So, there may be some mote of truth in your glurge, but it is nonetheless misogynistic, and the enormity of the latter utterly swamps any possible value to be had from the former. ---
**Author:** ![WOOKINPANUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wookinpanub/32/132_2.png) [@WOOKINPANUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WOOKINPANUB)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2016, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-old-white-women/775249/90 "2016-12-21T20:19:22Z")
Isn’t anyone going to bring up “confirmation bias”? I’d never heard this term before I joined here and I never hear it IRL, but this seems like the ideal time to apply it. ---
**Author:** ![Helena330](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/helena330/32/531_2.png) [@Helena330](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helena330)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2016, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-old-white-women/775249/91 "2016-12-21T20:40:08Z")
> [@WOOKINPANUB](#): > > Isn’t anyone going to bring up “confirmation bias”? I’d never heard this term before I joined here and I never hear it IRL, but this seems like the ideal time to apply it. Yup. The OP has had whatever bad experiences with a couple old white women, read a Buzz Feed version of waves of feminism theory, drew a bizarre conclusion about second wave feminists being bitter about losing their looks, and voila. I’d guess the truth is more that the second wave feminists is old enough that they don’t give a shit what a misogynist, ageist, racist asshole like him thinks. Dude, you think that somehow you’re enlightened, but you’re one of the worst I’ve seen. ---
**Author:** ![Damuri\_Ajashi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/898d66/32.png) [@Damuri\_Ajashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Damuri_Ajashi)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2016, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-old-white-women/775249/92 "2016-12-21T20:48:40Z")
> [@Dangerosa](#): > > I’m 50 - just post second wave feminism. I’ve always been an introvert - which apparently comes across as bitchy. As to entitled - well, I grew up in the generation that promised me women could do anything, one that promised equal pay for equal work, one that held the promise of respect instead of objectification. I think I’m entitled to those things. I think that its disappointing that we still have a long way to go. If that makes me a little bitter, well…as implied upthread, I ran out of fucks right around my 50th birthday and I’m kind of done having other people tell me which emotions are valid for me to have. I think you’re too young by a decade to be a second wave feminist. Think Betty Friedan. ---
**Author:** ![Damuri\_Ajashi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/898d66/32.png) [@Damuri\_Ajashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Damuri_Ajashi)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2016, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-old-white-women/775249/93 "2016-12-21T20:50:30Z")
> [@Helena330](#): > > Yup. The OP has had whatever bad experiences with a couple old white women, read a Buzz Feed version of waves of feminism theory, drew a bizarre conclusion about second wave feminists being bitter about losing their looks, and voila. > > I’d guess the truth is more that the second wave feminists is old enough that they don’t give a shit what a misogynist, ageist, racist asshole like him thinks. Dude, you think that somehow you’re enlightened, but you’re one of the worst I’ve seen. Did I hit a sore spot? ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2016, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-old-white-women/775249/94 "2016-12-21T20:53:00Z")
> [@Damuri\_Ajashi](#): > > I think you’re too young by a decade to be a second wave feminist. Think Betty Friedan. :dubious: Really? Betty Friedan died in 2006, and would be 95 years old if she were alive today. I’m not sure you actually have a very clear idea on what constitutes a “second wave feminist”. I don’t believe that you’re encountering that many rich white bitchy racist sexist women in their mid-90s. ---
**Author:** ![Crazy\_Canuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crazy_canuck/32/5282_2.png) [@Crazy\_Canuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crazy_Canuck)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2016, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-old-white-women/775249/95 "2016-12-21T21:12:25Z")
> [@Ulfreida](#): > > We don’t give a shit about our looks, and we don’t give a shit about you and your pathetic misogynist fantasies about our motivations, either. Yup, just look at all the older women in this thread, clearly not giving a shit. Loudly, argumentatively, and repeatedly not giving a shit. Damuri, you’re never going to get past the feminist’s thin pink line on this one, but I do admire you for trying. FWIW, I have seen the phenomenon you are describing, though I don’t think it’s as common or as universal as you seem to think. ---
**Author:** ![pool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pool/32/4152_2.png) [@pool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pool)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2016, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-old-white-women/775249/96 "2016-12-21T21:26:59Z")
I would argue that race relations aside, there is a subgroup of women of all races that were catered to in their youth because of beautiful features, that find as they age they miss being fawned over or given special treatment. Not sure if I completely believe it or not but I’m pretty sure I’ve seen at least one female poster on this board before post about how it was a sort of relief of becoming invisible as she aged and lost her looks because along with that she lost the negative attention from men as well, the sexual harassment type experiences, it does sound plausible at least. I would also argue that any attitude attributed to these alleged mean old white ladies probably existed when they were young as well, they were probably always entitled jerks. ---
**Author:** ![Damuri\_Ajashi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/898d66/32.png) [@Damuri\_Ajashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Damuri_Ajashi)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2016, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-old-white-women/775249/97 "2016-12-21T21:41:27Z")
> [@Kimstu](#): > > :dubious: Really? Betty Friedan died in 2006, and would be 95 years old if she were alive today. > > I’m not sure you actually have a very clear idea on what constitutes a “second wave feminist”. I don’t believe that you’re encountering that many rich white bitchy racist sexist women in their mid-90s. You mistake my meaning. I’m not saying that she is the typical age of a second wave feminist. Her book sort of marked the beginning of the second wave. ---
**Author:** ![Tee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@Tee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tee)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2016, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-old-white-women/775249/98 "2016-12-21T22:43:35Z")
> [@Damuri\_Ajashi](#): > > …This observation is frequently the result of how I see old white women treat my wife. She didn’t grow up around these people so she didn’t live to see their transformation from SJWs to bitchy old white women. > [@Crazy\_Canuck](#): > > Damuri, you’re never going to get past the feminist’s thin pink line on this one, but I do admire you for trying. FWIW, I have seen the phenomenon you are describing, though I don’t think it’s as common or as universal as you seem to think. OIC, it’s manosphere virtue signalling. I was wondering why it made no sense. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2016, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-old-white-women/775249/99 "2016-12-21T22:47:06Z")
I guess you couldn’t hear the dog whistle? ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2016, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-old-white-women/775249/100 "2016-12-21T23:01:55Z")
> [@Damuri Ajashi](#): > > But there is a brand of feminist old white women (probably in their early 70’s to 80’s) who are just fucking racist bitches and they think because they were feminists, that means they are progressive or something […] > > […] it seemed like all the really nasty women I knew personally were actually second wave feminists (whether they knew it or not) […] > > This observation is frequently the result of how I see old white women treat my wife. 😕 I am puzzled as to how you know these bitchy old white women were “second wave feminists”. Do they all talk a lot about the old days in their consciousness-raising group and attending demonstrations in favor of Title X, or what? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-old-white-women/775249.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-old-white-women/775249.md?page=6)