# "Some people are looking for reasons to be offended" **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 5, 2017, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-people-are-looking-for-reasons-to-be-offended/776415 "2017-01-05T20:24:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2017, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-people-are-looking-for-reasons-to-be-offended/776415/41 "2017-01-06T15:09:25Z")
Being offended is what a low-status or low-power person experiences when a high-status or high-power person “attacks” them, however mildly. (I say “attack” for lack of a better word; though it’s far more loaded than I really want here). Their only possible response is to feel bad and suck it up. OTOH, if the “attack” went the other way, low-status towards high-, the high person can ignore or retaliate; either response is effective at nullifying the attack from their POV. With that background. … We are in an era where who/what is high-power and high-status is changing. Formerly low-status folks are moving up, and formerly high-status folks are moving down. In that changing environment there are a lot more opportunities for everybody on both ends of the equation to do the wrong thing or hear the wrong thing. An awful lot of bickers you hear or see come from one party assuming the power dynamic is 70/30 my way while the other person thinks it’s 70/30 the other way. Back when everybody A) knew to defer to their betters, and B) knew who their betters were, life had less overtly expressed offendedness. It had far more actual offense, but it was almost all silently swallowed. This, IMO is the key insight. There’s not (much) more offendedness. But there’s vastly more willingness to speak out about being offended against. Today there truly are some thin-skinned offenderati. Ref **Saintly Loser** ’s fine example, they can be identified mostly by their being offended on behalf of others, rather than on behalf of themselves. MYOB is an excellent sentiment more people ought to live by. OTOH, society was plenty course for all but the extreme ruling class not that long ago. And still is today for lots of people. Just as we’ve decided political democracy is better than totalitarianism, and that some that degree of economic democracy is better than “It all belongs to the King (or tycoon)”, we’re beginning to see that the freedom to be a social bully is less valuable than the freedom from being a social bullying victim. IMO much of the planet is past the ethnic/religious monocultures of the small-town 1800s. But it’ll be centuries before we have a more or less homogenous global culture. In these transitional years there’s going to be a lot of smoke and noise before a consensus settles back out. If indeed it ever does. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2017, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-people-are-looking-for-reasons-to-be-offended/776415/42 "2017-01-06T17:24:40Z")
> [@elfkin477](#): > > Here’s another: people getting all upset that Obama signed an executive order banning the pledge of allegiance from schools. Not only does said order not exist **and** it’s been a rumor before that nothing came of, what earthly difference does it make to people who don’t have school-age children?? My dad was all upset about that until I proved to him that it wasn’t true, and my younger brother graduated from high school in 2001. :dubious: I care about what happens in the public schools even though my kids are grown up. Charles Krauthammer wrote a very funny essay called IIRC “On Manger Patrol with the ACLU” which detailed the difficulty of finding someone in a given locality who would object to Christmas displays on public property. Much of the time, everyone thought it was either harmless, or they liked it, so the ACLU had trouble finding someone with standing so they (the ACLU) could object - that is, be offended - on their behalf. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![yanceylebeef](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yanceylebeef/32/12290_2.png) [@yanceylebeef](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yanceylebeef)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2017, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-people-are-looking-for-reasons-to-be-offended/776415/43 "2017-01-06T17:32:13Z")
Relevant Stephan Fry quote… > [@](#): > > It’s now very common to hear people say, ‘I’m rather offended by that.’ As if that gives them certain rights. It’s actually nothing more… than a whine. ‘I find that offensive.’ It has no meaning; it has no purpose; it has no reason to be respected as a phrase. ‘I am offended by that.’ Well, so fucking what. ---
**Author:** ![Donpeyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a4c791/32.png) [@Donpeyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Donpeyote)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2017, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-people-are-looking-for-reasons-to-be-offended/776415/44 "2017-01-06T17:40:24Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > I care about what happens in the public schools even though my kids are grown up. > > Charles Krauthammer wrote a very funny essay called IIRC “On Manger Patrol with the ACLU” which detailed the difficulty of finding someone in a given locality who would object to Christmas displays on public property. Much of the time, everyone thought it was either harmless, or they liked it, so the ACLU had trouble finding someone with standing so they (the ACLU) could object - that is, be offended - on their behalf. > > Regards, > Shodan SPLC has bigger problems than that these days … ---
**Author:** ![guizot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guizot/32/3636_2.png) [@guizot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/guizot)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2017, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-people-are-looking-for-reasons-to-be-offended/776415/45 "2017-01-06T18:11:37Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > Being offended is often a good way to put other people on the defensive, because it presumes other people have to prove that you aren’t, or shouldn’t be, offended, and that can’t be done. And when this happens, all discourse becomes meaningless. Whether one is offended or not is beside the point (unless something is strictly personal, such as a comment on another’s appearance, etc.). If something indicates a wrong, then people need to make the case for why it is wrong. But if, instead, they just say, “I’m offended by that,” then people can say, “Well, that’s all about you,” and ignore the problem. So instead of saying to the stranger you find in your house, “I’m offended that you’re in my house,” one needs to say, “You’re a fucking burglar and that’s why I’m calling the police.” Otherwise, the burglar is just going to say, “Why are you being so unfriendly? I just wanted to visit you.” Trump managed to eek out the few votes he needed to win the electoral college precisely because the media (and Clinton) only presented him as _offensive_. Instead they should have focused on the fact that he’s a total bullshitter who doesn’t give a damn about the average person, and just uses cheap theatrics to make them think he does. ---
**Author:** ![Donpeyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a4c791/32.png) [@Donpeyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Donpeyote)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2017, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-people-are-looking-for-reasons-to-be-offended/776415/46 "2017-01-06T18:17:40Z")
> [@guizot](#): > > And when this happens, all discourse becomes meaningless. > > Whether one is offended or not is beside the point (unless something is strictly personal, such as a comment on another’s appearance, etc.). If something indicates a wrong, then people need to make the case for why it is wrong. But if, instead, they just say, “I’m offended by that,” then people can say, “Well, that’s all about you,” and ignore the problem. > > So instead of saying to the stranger you find in your house, “I’m offended that you’re in my house,” one needs to say, “You’re a fucking burglar and that’s why I’m calling the police.” Otherwise, the burglar is just going to say, “Why are you being so unfriendly? I just wanted to visit you.” > > Trump managed to eek out the few votes he needed to win the electoral college precisely because the media (and Clinton) only presented him as _offensive_. Instead they should have focused on the fact that he’s a total bullshitter who doesn’t give a damn about the average person, and just uses cheap theatrics to make them think he does. If he does half of what he promised we will be pleased as punch … ---
**Author:** ![sitchensis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sitchensis/32/4892_2.png) [@sitchensis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sitchensis)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2017, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-people-are-looking-for-reasons-to-be-offended/776415/47 "2017-01-06T18:24:32Z")
If you’re a positive person it’s hard to get offended because you always take things in the best possible light. You always assume someone slightly misspoke, or was nervous or unsure of how to say something. It’s a pretty good way to go through life. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2017, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-people-are-looking-for-reasons-to-be-offended/776415/48 "2017-01-06T18:26:05Z")
> [@Donpeyote](#): > > If he does half of what he promised we will be pleased as punch … I’ve got something for your punch bowl. ---
**Author:** ![guizot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guizot/32/3636_2.png) [@guizot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/guizot)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2017, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-people-are-looking-for-reasons-to-be-offended/776415/49 "2017-01-06T18:28:25Z")
> [@Donpeyote](#): > > If he does half of what he promised we will be pleased as punch … Don’t hold your breath. In the meantime, my friend the Nigerian prince really wants to talk with you. Just have you bank account and credit card numbers ready. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2017, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-people-are-looking-for-reasons-to-be-offended/776415/50 "2017-01-06T18:30:39Z")
I often wonder how many people are offended because their pastor or their partner or their favorite celeb says they should be offended. That way, they don’t have to think - they just have to seize on a keyword to fire up their righteous indignation. I could be wrong - it’s not as if I’ve made an exhaustive study. More of a gut reaction… ---
**Author:** ![Donpeyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a4c791/32.png) [@Donpeyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Donpeyote)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2017, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-people-are-looking-for-reasons-to-be-offended/776415/51 "2017-01-06T18:35:59Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > I’ve got something for your punch bowl. I would be happy with Kate’s Law , a “Fairly Secure” southern border , National CCW CHL CWP reciprocity and an Economy that goes from free fall to soft landing ,and ICE /BP training for all local & regional /State Law enforcement to allow them to participate in Kate’s law and deportation of CRIMINAL illegals and Visa Overstayers , go toe to toe with sanctuary cities & states in the courts and reinvigorate the Military while bringing some troops home from places that they languish in currently . ---
**Author:** ![Aspenglow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspenglow/32/76_2.png) [@Aspenglow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspenglow)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2017, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-people-are-looking-for-reasons-to-be-offended/776415/52 "2017-01-06T18:37:59Z")
> [@Aspidistra](#): > > I haven’t personally encountered it in my neck of the woods, but by all means add it to the list Oh, gawd, it was rampant in my neck of the woods this year. I encountered dozens of people who hissed, “Merry Christmas!” at me like they were shooting me with a gun. It was really unpleasant. ---
**Author:** ![Donpeyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a4c791/32.png) [@Donpeyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Donpeyote)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2017, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-people-are-looking-for-reasons-to-be-offended/776415/53 "2017-01-06T18:42:01Z")
> [@Aspenglow](#): > > Oh, gawd, it was rampant in my neck of the woods this year. I encountered dozens of people who hissed, “Merry Christmas!” at me like they were shooting me with a gun. It was really unpleasant. As a practitioner of Judaism I was glad to see the Christmas spirit return to the mainstream (a little) kinda like everywhere in my youth …:rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2017, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-people-are-looking-for-reasons-to-be-offended/776415/54 "2017-01-06T18:43:41Z")
> [@billfish678](#): > > [QUOTE=Shodan] > > Being offended is often a good way to put other people on the defensive, because it presumes other people have to prove that you aren’t, or shouldn’t be, offended, and that can’t be done. > > Regards, > Shodan Bingo [/QUOTE] Make it a trifecta. I’m what you might refer to (mockingly or otherwise) as a social justice warrior type myself. But I tire quickly of the endeavor to identify a CULPRIT, some categorically privileged person we can blame for all the offenses and oppressions and microaggressions. I really don’t see why I need to identify an Evil Villain™ in order to register a social claim for redress of my grievances. And I can resent certain unnecessary things without painting myself as a fragile glasswork or a delicate hothouse plant. ---
**Author:** ![Maurie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@Maurie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maurie)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2017, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-people-are-looking-for-reasons-to-be-offended/776415/55 "2017-01-06T19:14:19Z")
> [@sitchensis](#): > > If you’re a positive person it’s hard to get offended because you always take things in the best possible light. You always assume someone slightly misspoke, or was nervous or unsure of how to say something. It’s a pretty good way to go through life. I agree that giving someone the benefit of the doubt is (for the most part) a healthy thing when you’re talking about one on one interactions, but when it comes to situations with a larger impact, that kind of thinking ultimately has the same outcome as apathy - if nobody ever challenges anything, then nothing would ever change. And the fact is, sometimes change is _good_. Standing up for what you believe in doesn’t make you a negative, argumentative person. You can be a positive person and still not want to ignore things that you think are wrong. Maybe this comes down to the point made several times in this thread – what exactly “offended” means to different people seems to be flexible. I think for the most part the people who are accused of being too easily offended are not simply feeling insulted because their loud-mouth coworker made an awkward comment on their bad haircut. I’m referring more to situations where someone feels (rightly or not) that a situation is tangibly damaging to their wellbeing (or that of a group). ---
**Author:** ![Donpeyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a4c791/32.png) [@Donpeyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Donpeyote)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2017, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-people-are-looking-for-reasons-to-be-offended/776415/56 "2017-01-06T19:16:48Z")
> [@Maurie](#): > > I agree that giving someone the benefit of the doubt is (for the most part) a healthy thing when you’re talking about one on one interactions, but when it comes to situations with a larger impact, that kind of thinking ultimately has the same outcome as apathy - if nobody ever challenges anything, then nothing would ever change. And the fact is, sometimes change is _good_. Standing up for what you believe in doesn’t make you a negative, argumentative person. You can be a positive person and still not want to ignore things that you think are wrong. > > Maybe this comes down to the point made several times in this thread – what exactly “offended” means to different people seems to be flexible. I think for the most part the people who are accused of being too easily offended are not simply feeling insulted because their loud-mouth coworker made an awkward comment on their bad haircut. I’m referring more to situations where someone feels (rightly or not) that a situation is tangibly damaging to their wellbeing (or that of a group). Group like (Israeli Jews ) or (White Christians especially Males) ?:dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Maurie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@Maurie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maurie)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2017, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-people-are-looking-for-reasons-to-be-offended/776415/57 "2017-01-06T19:30:59Z")
> [@Donpeyote](#): > > Group like (Israeli Jews ) or (White Christians especially Males) ?:dubious: Not sure what you’re getting at. I suppose, possibly? Or group like (women) or (black people) or (gay people) or (homeless people) or (people with disabilities)? ---
**Author:** ![Donpeyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a4c791/32.png) [@Donpeyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Donpeyote)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2017, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-people-are-looking-for-reasons-to-be-offended/776415/58 "2017-01-06T19:39:58Z")
> [@Maurie](#): > > Not sure what you’re getting at. I suppose, possibly? Or group like (women) or (black people) or (gay people) or (homeless people) or (people with disabilities)? Or Group like (Flushing/Queens Zionists) (NRA members) (NASCAR fans) (NAMBLA members)…:dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Sigene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df788c/32.png) [@Sigene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigene)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2017, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-people-are-looking-for-reasons-to-be-offended/776415/59 "2017-01-06T20:02:43Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > I often wonder how many people are offended because their pastor or their partner or their favorite celeb says they should be offended. That way, they don’t have to think - they just have to seize on a keyword to fire up their righteous indignation. > > I could be wrong - it’s not as if I’ve made an exhaustive study. More of a gut reaction… exactly my point in my earlier post. They don’t really find something offensive personally, until someone tells them to be…hence the “Viral” nature of being offended. I maintain that it often isn’t a problem from the perpetrator, rather its more of a problem from someone else telling a person they should feel the victim. ---
**Author:** ![gnoitall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bb73d2/32.png) [@gnoitall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gnoitall)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2017, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-people-are-looking-for-reasons-to-be-offended/776415/60 "2017-01-06T20:21:55Z")
> [@Donpeyote](#): > > Or Group like (Flushing/Queens Zionists) (NRA members) (NASCAR fans) (NAMBLA members)…:dubious: Or maybe a group like (people who put the labels of notional groups of people in parentheses for no rational reason)? It’s not LISP, folks. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-people-are-looking-for-reasons-to-be-offended/776415.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-people-are-looking-for-reasons-to-be-offended/776415.md?page=4)