# Some people just aren't happy unless they think someone's offending them... **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 1, 2002, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-people-just-arent-happy-unless-they-think-someones-offending-them/130450 "2002-10-01T21:33:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![unwashed\_brain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/a9adbd/32.png) [@unwashed\_brain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/unwashed_brain)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2002, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-people-just-arent-happy-unless-they-think-someones-offending-them/130450/1 "2002-10-01T21:33:40Z")
I got flamed in this thread by what I consider hyper-reactive overtly-defensive posting. Oh, wait - is it ok to use the word “flamed”??? :rolleyes: [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=137354](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=137354) What do you all think? ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2002, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-people-just-arent-happy-unless-they-think-someones-offending-them/130450/2 "2002-10-01T21:51:48Z")
I was going to post on the irony of you pitting someone else because they got too offensive. But I read the OT and elf6c did invite you to the pit, so it’s fair game as far as I’m concerned. Yes, **elf6c** , majorly overreacted. Queer is queer. Queer doesn’t mean dyke or faggot or…or…gay homosexual. It means unusual. It means out of the ordinary. It means strange. Maybe if some people weren’t so niggardly with their word usage, we wouldn’t have this problem. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Elvis\_Rojo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@El\_Elvis\_Rojo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Elvis_Rojo)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2002, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-people-just-arent-happy-unless-they-think-someones-offending-them/130450/3 "2002-10-01T22:17:50Z")
Hehehe… **Enderw24** , that was great! I’m with you two, **elf6c** is definitely overreacting…but hey, that’s part of what makes these boards so fun (or makes threads get off track and explode into a bunch of gradeschool namecalling spawned by people who don’t know what the hell they’re talking about, I can’t remember which…) ---
**Author:** ![El\_Elvis\_Rojo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@El\_Elvis\_Rojo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Elvis_Rojo)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2002, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-people-just-arent-happy-unless-they-think-someones-offending-them/130450/4 "2002-10-01T22:23:23Z")
Hehehe… **Enderw24** , that was great! I’m with you two, **elf6c** is definitely overreacting…but hey, that’s part of what makes these boards so fun (or makes threads get off track and explode into a bunch of gradeschool namecalling spawned by people who don’t know what the hell they’re talking about, I can’t remember which…) ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2002, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-people-just-arent-happy-unless-they-think-someones-offending-them/130450/5 "2002-10-01T23:06:46Z")
I’m still trying to figure out why **elf6c** referred to **unwashed** ’s retort as a “right wing driveby.” Bizarre. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2002, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-people-just-arent-happy-unless-they-think-someones-offending-them/130450/6 "2002-10-01T23:25:31Z")
Just remember … if nobody knows you here, all they have to go by is the words you use. ---
**Author:** ![red\_dragon60](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ce73a5/32.png) [@red\_dragon60](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/red_dragon60)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2002, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-people-just-arent-happy-unless-they-think-someones-offending-them/130450/7 "2002-10-01T23:36:18Z")
Shame shame shame on **elf6c** ’s comment about how you should go back to lurking. That is a blantant disregard for what makes us a community. You can de-lurk any time you want here! ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2002, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-people-just-arent-happy-unless-they-think-someones-offending-them/130450/8 "2002-10-02T00:00:27Z")
I think in the context, it seems he meant strange, or out of the ordinary. When I was little, I used to say things were queer in that way-meaning strange, or unusual. And my mother always told me, “I don’t like that word, don’t say it.” She never told me WHY, and I thought it was probably just some stupid slang word that wasn’t proper, like ain’t or whatever. Then when I was older, it was like, “Ah, so THAT’S why she got upset!” I still like using it for strange or weird. Not BAD strange or weird. Just, unusual, unique. ---
**Author:** ![fluiddruid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c2a13f/32.png) [@fluiddruid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fluiddruid)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2002, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-people-just-arent-happy-unless-they-think-someones-offending-them/130450/9 "2002-10-02T01:28:47Z")
I can see, however, the confusion involved in decrying a home decorating show as “queer”, just as I would if it were a thread about a Barbara Streisand album. Some discretion could have defused this situation. ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2002, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-people-just-arent-happy-unless-they-think-someones-offending-them/130450/10 "2002-10-02T02:19:32Z")
But…Barbara Streisand IS queer. BTW, has anyone actually linked the OT to this thread? **unwashed brain** , I’m looking in your direction. I know if I was being pitted it would be kinda nice to have someone mention that fact to me. ---
**Author:** ![unwashed\_brain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/a9adbd/32.png) [@unwashed\_brain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/unwashed_brain)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2002, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-people-just-arent-happy-unless-they-think-someones-offending-them/130450/11 "2002-10-02T03:42:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Enderw24 \* > \*\*BTW, has anyone actually linked the OT to this thread? **unwashed brain** , I’m looking in your direction. I know if I was being pitted it would be kinda nice to have someone mention that fact to me. \*\* Yes, I followed the High Road of Pit Etiquette and linked this thread in the original thread. Thanks for your support, Dopers! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Wrong\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b782af/32.png) [@The\_Wrong\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Wrong_Girl)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2002, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-people-just-arent-happy-unless-they-think-someones-offending-them/130450/12 "2002-10-02T13:19:43Z")
FWIW, the OP posted a clarification, which left me more confused than before. ---
**Author:** ![elf6c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c57346/32.png) [@elf6c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elf6c)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2002, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-people-just-arent-happy-unless-they-think-someones-offending-them/130450/13 "2002-10-02T14:48:11Z")
Finally my very own Pitting! 🙂 A lame one, but hey it’s a start. :rolleyes: Ok here is the original post: (“King Friday”) > [@](#): > > That show is so queer and so freakin’ addictive at the same time. Only problem is I have yet to see a room make-over that I would like. That red head is a hottie though…and opinions? (about the show, or otherwise) As King Friday is a new poster, the meaning of his use of queer is unclear- does he mean “unusual” or does he mean the more homophobic use? As you can see by the thread, I was not the only one interested in this point. So I post: > [@](#): > > “queer” excuse me King Friday- WTF do you mean exactly? Was this some sort of attempt at an insult? In retrospect- a bit spicy, but given “King Friday”'s follow-up, accurate. While we were waiting for an answer- “unwashed brain” desides a driveby is in order. > [@](#): > > uh-oh. here come the word usage police… :rolleyes: Excuse me? If I wanted thoughts on political correctness and the “word usage police” I would go to Fox News and post in Great Debates. I just wanted clarification before ripping into this guy. Annoyed at the driveby- I respond. > [@](#): > > unwashed brain (actually “unused” seems more apt) you can take your “word usage police” right wing driveby and meet me in the Pit, or you can just shut up and go back to lurking- your choice. Probably too spicy in retrospect. But rather then hijack the thread or continue the driveby I issued the invitation for the proper place for the beef. The clarification from “King Friday” > [@](#): > > First of all…relax Secondly, by queer, I mean that that show just has so much phony enthusiasm, it just makes my skin crawl sometimes…but I can never seem to change the channel until I see the final reaction. Sometimes it seems those people act happy for the show. Maybe they could hook 'em up to a lie detector to see how they really feel Oy. Unwashed Brain- I am hardly crackling over a fire. The derogotory use of that term in that manner in a Cafe Society thread was worth asking about. I hardly appriciate your useless little dig. You added nothing there and nothing here. If you think people can just say anything they want without getting called on it- you haven’t been paying much attention at all. > [@](#): > > hyper-reactive overtly-defensive posting Hardly- you do an insulting drive-by and get a response- then try to act surprised? Spare me :rolleyes: . To the comments here- **friedo** ask yourself this-- who bothers to rant about “political correctness” and uses insults like “word usage police”. Here is a hint- it ain’t Ralph Nader or the Utne Reader. \*\* iampunha \*\*- I agree. At least I asked first- many wouldn’t have even done that. After the clarification- it seems the intent is clearly not “strange” rather then derogitory. I am curious **Guinastasia** - do you read it the same way? That is the whole thing. I have to step out and pick up my official Word Usage Police uniform and badge for this afternoon’s patrol. The main office has put out an APB on “irregardless” and double negatives. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Martiju](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e8c25b/32.png) [@Martiju](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martiju)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2002, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-people-just-arent-happy-unless-they-think-someones-offending-them/130450/14 "2002-10-02T15:10:20Z")
_sigh_ so here we are having a gay old time hanging out by the old dyke, when the old word usage/offence taking out of context thing happens again! let’s get things straight people, and look at the context of things before coming out swinging wildly at people… ok? ---
**Author:** ![Martiju](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e8c25b/32.png) [@Martiju](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martiju)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2002, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-people-just-arent-happy-unless-they-think-someones-offending-them/130450/15 "2002-10-02T15:11:13Z")
_sigh_ so here we are having a gay old time hanging out by the old dyke, when the old word usage/offence taking out of context thing happens again! let’s get things straight people, and look at the context of things before coming out swinging wildly at people… ok? * * * yeah I know, the ‘old dyke’ bit was particularly tenuous! ---
**Author:** ![EchoKitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f4b2a3/32.png) [@EchoKitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EchoKitty)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2002, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-people-just-arent-happy-unless-they-think-someones-offending-them/130450/16 "2002-10-02T15:17:27Z")
On the SDMB, I try to give people the benefit of the doubt as far as political correctness goes. Now, if he would have gone on about fags and homos and such, he would have clarified the “queer” usage. But I don’t think it was suspicious in and of itself. My $.02. ---
**Author:** ![unwashed\_brain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/a9adbd/32.png) [@unwashed\_brain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/unwashed_brain)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2002, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-people-just-arent-happy-unless-they-think-someones-offending-them/130450/17 "2002-10-02T15:39:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by elf6c \* > **If you think people can just say anything they want without getting called on it- you haven’t been paying much attention at all.** My point was that you should have given **King Friday** the benefit of the doubt. You pretty much assumed the worst of him. **Trading Spaces** is an odd little show with some odd cast members, some of whom are probably homosexual. I don’t see anything wrong with using the word “queer” in its traditional sense within earshot of homosexuals. It may not be the best choice of words, but that’s only because there’s a hypersensitivity surrounding the word’s secondary implications. Learn to think more objectively. 😉 As KF said in his clarification…relax. > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by elf6c After the clarification- it seems the intent is clearly not “strange” rather then derogitory._ It seems utterly clear to me that he meant “queer=odd”, not “queer=homosexual.” The thought process that leads you to infer that “phony enthusiasm” equals “gay behavior” is, again, what I call hyper-reactive and overtly defensive. Also, being fed up with political correctness, euphemisms, and the idea that everyone’s self-esteem is a fragile little dishsoap bubble that will pop at the slightest inference of an insult is hardly a trait tied to one’s political slant. Relax, **elf6c** , nobody’s attacking homosexuals here or in the original thread. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2002, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-people-just-arent-happy-unless-they-think-someones-offending-them/130450/18 "2002-10-02T15:55:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Enderw24 \* > \*\* > Maybe if some people weren’t so niggardly with their word usage, we wouldn’t have this problem. \*\* Maybe if people weren’t so stingy with their word usage? Miserly with their word usage? Mahatma Gandhi on a bicycle, Ender. That doesn’t make any sense at all. Maybe if people didn’t make smirking, snorting little jabs at people with words (“hee hee! I said niggardly!”), instead focusing on using language to communicate, we wouldn’t have this problem. Daniel ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2002, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-people-just-arent-happy-unless-they-think-someones-offending-them/130450/19 "2002-10-02T15:56:41Z")
Oh – and I agree that KF’s usage of “queer” looked totally innocuous to me; even if Elf wanted clarification, he shoulda sought it in a much less confrontational tone. Daniel ---
**Author:** ![Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helen_s_Eidolon)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2002, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-people-just-arent-happy-unless-they-think-someones-offending-them/130450/20 "2002-10-02T16:15:21Z")
Umm… **DanielWithrow** , it makes perfect sense. If people used more words to explain themselves (ie, explaining more fully) we wouldn’t have had this thread. Or was I just whooshed entirely? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-people-just-arent-happy-unless-they-think-someones-offending-them/130450.md?page=2)