# Some questions about Chewbacca
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-questions-about-chewbacca/361792
**Category:** Cafe Society
**Created:** [June 22, 2006, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-questions-about-chewbacca/361792 "2006-06-22T23:48:07Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 4
### Author:  [@Happy\_Clam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Clam)
#### Post date: [June 23, 2006, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-questions-about-chewbacca/361792/61 "2006-06-23T15:48:53Z")
> [@Der Trihs](#):
>
> Naw, he just uses the Ewoks for condoms. “Ewoks : Furred for her pleasure.”
Who needs her? The ewok alone is enough!
Mmm, wriggly.
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### Author:  [@laramary](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/laramary)
#### Post date: [June 23, 2006, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-questions-about-chewbacca/361792/62 "2006-06-23T16:01:41Z")
> [@Cluricaun](#):
>
> Then why wouldn’t Han Solo say his name in Wookiee if he could speak it? Not to keep harping, but this has bothered me since childhood. Almost as much as what the bathroom at Mos Eisley would look like. There would have to be thousands of different toilets!
I think you’re over-thinking this. Wookie is probably a very tonal language, and “Chewbacca” is the basic-ized pronunciation of his name. For someone not exposed to Wookie phonemes at a very early age, it would be too east to mispronounce Wookie.
And the bathroom at Mos Eisley is probably a hole in the floor with a litter box type thing to accommodate those who physically cannot straddle the hole. That or patrons undergo mandatory catheterization
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### Author:  [@Diceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diceman)
#### Post date: [June 23, 2006, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-questions-about-chewbacca/361792/63 "2006-06-23T16:48:51Z")
> [@laramary](#):
>
> I think you’re over-thinking this. Wookie is probably a very tonal language, and “Chewbacca” is the basic-ized pronunciation of his name. For someone not exposed to Wookie phonemes at a very early age, it would be too east to mispronounce Wookie.
That’s what I’m thinking. Chewbacca’s real name is probably something like Ohhh-Ack-Uh, and “Chewbacca” is the closest thing that Han can say easily.
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### Author:  [@Precambrianmollusc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Precambrianmollusc)
#### Post date: [June 23, 2006, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-questions-about-chewbacca/361792/64 "2006-06-23T17:06:45Z")
> [@Happy Clam](#):
>
> Who needs her? The ewok alone is enough!
>
> Mmm, wriggly.
just so so wrong.
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### Author:  [@Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troy_McClure_SF)
#### Post date: [June 23, 2006, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-questions-about-chewbacca/361792/65 "2006-06-23T17:26:50Z")
> [@neofishboy](#):
>
> I’m sorry…I don’t care who you are…that is just deeply, deeply sexy.
I concur.
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### Author:  [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)
#### Post date: [June 23, 2006, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-questions-about-chewbacca/361792/66 "2006-06-23T18:04:11Z")
> [@Diceman](#):
>
> That’s what I’m thinking. Chewbacca’s real name is probably something like Ohhh-Ack-Uh,
Very close to the noise Han makes when he inadvertently swallows a wad of chewing tobacco.
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### Author:  [@ululate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ululate)
#### Post date: [June 23, 2006, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-questions-about-chewbacca/361792/67 "2006-06-23T18:10:29Z")
> [@Lord Ashtar](#):
>
> Luke eventually learns to understand R2’s beeps as easily as Han seems to understand Chewbacca. So why doesn’t he respond in R2’s droid language? 😉
Luke I’ll give a pass, but why the heck does C-3PO eschew beeps and whistles for prissy exposition? 😉
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### Author:  [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)
#### Post date: [June 23, 2006, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-questions-about-chewbacca/361792/68 "2006-06-23T18:12:40Z")
> [@ululate](#):
>
> Luke I’ll give a pass, but why the heck does C-3PO eschew beeps and whistles for prissy exposition? 😉
Wasn’t he a protocal(sp) droid requiring interaction and commnication with various life forms and languages?
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### Author:  [@ululate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ululate)
#### Post date: [June 23, 2006, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-questions-about-chewbacca/361792/69 "2006-06-23T18:15:27Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#):
>
> Wasn’t he a protocal(sp) droid requiring interaction and commnication with various life forms and languages?
Yeah, but my point is he talks like that when there’s no one around but him and Artoo.
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### Author:  [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)
#### Post date: [June 23, 2006, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-questions-about-chewbacca/361792/70 "2006-06-23T18:29:18Z")
> [@ululate](#):
>
> Yeah, but my point is he talks like that when there’s no one around but him and Artoo.
The straight man always speaks in English. 🙂
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### Author:  [@The\_Scrivener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Scrivener)
#### Post date: [June 23, 2006, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-questions-about-chewbacca/361792/71 "2006-06-23T18:36:22Z")
“Straight” man? Only in the comedic sense. 😃 But why/how would any droid have any kind of sexuality whatsoever, anyway? Talk about a non-sequitur…
Do protocol droids dream of electric sheep? Gawd, I hope not.
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### Author:  [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)
#### Post date: [June 23, 2006, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-questions-about-chewbacca/361792/72 "2006-06-23T18:55:16Z")
> [@The Scrivener](#):
>
> But why/how would any droid have any kind of sexuality whatsoever, anyway?
If Darth Vader put him together as a child, there’s no telling.
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### Author:  [@laramary](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/laramary)
#### Post date: [June 23, 2006, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-questions-about-chewbacca/361792/73 "2006-06-23T19:23:31Z")
> [@The Scrivener](#):
>
> But why/how would any droid have any kind of sexuality whatsoever, anyway?.
> [@carnivorousplant](#):
>
> If Darth Vader put him together as a child, there’s no telling.
The real reason they had to wipe the droids’ memory was that C3PO couldn’t stop the “impersonate Padme as sex-pot” ‘protocol’ that Ani programmed in.
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### Author:  [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)
#### Post date: [June 23, 2006, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-questions-about-chewbacca/361792/74 "2006-06-23T19:27:04Z")
> [@laramary](#):
>
> The real reason they had to wipe the droids’ memory was that C3PO couldn’t stop the “impersonate Padme as sex-pot” ‘protocol’ that Ani programmed in.
Damn, that’s scary.
Just the hair…
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### Author:  [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)
#### Post date: [June 23, 2006, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-questions-about-chewbacca/361792/75 "2006-06-23T19:40:49Z")
> [@The Scrivener](#):
>
> “Straight” man? Only in the comedic sense. 😃 But why/how would any droid have any kind of sexuality whatsoever, anyway? Talk about a non-sequitur…
Why, haven’t you heard of male and female plugs ?
C-3P0 : “Stand _still_ R-2 ! I need to interface with you !”
R2-D2 : “BEEP !”
C-3P0 : “Ahhhh, that’s the ticket, R-2 ! Now do that bit where you rotate your head real fast . . .”
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### Author:  [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)
#### Post date: [June 23, 2006, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-questions-about-chewbacca/361792/76 "2006-06-23T19:45:25Z")
Shouldn’t someone report that last post?
🙂
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### Author:  [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)
#### Post date: [June 23, 2006, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-questions-about-chewbacca/361792/77 "2006-06-23T20:02:33Z")
> [@Der Trihs](#):
>
> Why, haven’t you heard of male and female plugs ?
>
> C-3P0 : “Stand _still_ R-2 ! I need to interface with you !”
> R2-D2 : “BEEP !”
> C-3P0 : “Ahhhh, that’s the ticket, R-2 ! Now do that bit where you rotate your head real fast . . .”
::Straddles above R2::
“Up periscope! Down periscope! Up periscope! Down periscope! Ohdearohdearohdear…”
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### Author:  [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)
#### Post date: [June 23, 2006, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-questions-about-chewbacca/361792/78 "2006-06-23T21:46:02Z")
> [@Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor](#):
>
> The _reason_ is that Chewbacca is the Wookie equivalent of Garry Glitter.
That explains why he went into hiding after his hit single, _Rock and Roll Part Chew_.
Da- **DA** -da [groooowl] da-da-da
d- **DA** -da [groooowl] da-da-da
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### Author:  [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)
#### Post date: [June 23, 2006, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-questions-about-chewbacca/361792/79 "2006-06-23T22:01:24Z")
I thought Chewie was a big tough Mexican.
“Rowr-a-waar badges, meow meow? We rowrr-err-waarra don’t need no rowrarr-er-rawr badges, meow meow!”"
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### Author:  [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)
#### Post date: [June 23, 2006, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/some-questions-about-chewbacca/361792/80 "2006-06-23T22:02:52Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#):
>
> > [@Diceman](#):
> >
> > Chewbacca’s real name is probably something like Ohhh-Ack-Uh,
>
> Very close to the noise Han makes when he inadvertently swallows a wad of chewing tobacco.
Or when I dip my nads in the bowl.
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